Chapter 102: What Are You Guys Even Worth?
Uncle Li, who had been angry, immediately put on a look of confusion upon seeing me, Big Brother, emerge from the sedan chair.
He asked, “Who are you?”
“It’s me, Chan Xin, Uncle.”
Hearing this, Uncle Li’s suspicion deepened. He scrutinized me from head to toe, then looked behind me. It took him a long while to recognize me.
It’s no wonder. My appearance has changed a lot, and my temperament has shifted from the refreshing and refined to something rather peculiar and otherworldly. If it weren’t for those who were exceptionally close to me before, who could sense my presence through my aura, outsiders would never have recognized me, Big Brother.
After confirming it was me, Uncle Li’s old face lit up with joy. He exclaimed, “Haha, so it’s you, you brat! I thought someone was being so arrogant!”
“Haha, Uncle Li, please don’t be angry. I just wanted to give Godfather and you a surprise?”
Uncle Li patted my back and, taking my hand, pulled me towards the mansion, looking incredibly happy.
I stopped Uncle Li and smiled sheepishly. “Hehe, Uncle, could you spare eight hundred million for me to spend?”
Uncle Li was stunned and frowned at me. “You just got back, and you need money again? Did you get into trouble outside?”
I chuckled awkwardly. “No, no, Uncle Li. How old am I now? Still causing trouble? Haha, it’s just… I’m just out of money, hehe.”
Uncle Li helplessly shook his head, reached into his inner pocket, and pulled out over a hundred billion. He then spat on his hand. “Ptoo,”
He meticulously counted out eight of the most crumpled bills and gave them to me, smiling at me like a biological father.
“You’re lucky, kid. I won a few billion playing Mahjong yesterday. Spend it wisely! Money isn’t easy to earn these days.”
Uncle Li wasn’t lying. Although the money in the Underworld is burned by people in the Mortal World, it has to pass security checks and is then distributed uniformly. Most of it requires some contribution to the Underworld before it can be collected with contribution points. Of course, I, Big Brother, knew nothing about this.
After all, back then, I, Big Brother, was treated like a delicate flower. My three brothers worked their lives away to earn money for me to spend. Godfather would also give me some whenever he felt like it, and Uncle Li would sometimes do the same. I, Big Brother, never worried about money, which is why I developed the habit of spending lavishly.
Hearing Uncle Li say he won billions playing Mahjong yesterday, I couldn’t help but ask curiously, “Uncle, how big are your Mahjong games?”
“Heh, not that big. Small stakes, you know, a hundred million floating to a billion.”
My handsome face twitched upon hearing this, and I couldn’t help but sigh. Look at that, you really have to work for a big shot. They say a prime minister’s butler is practically a seventh-rank official. Look at Uncle Li here, working for my Godfather, King Yama. He’s not any less important! Although he’s not greedy or corrupt, his Mahjong skills are unmatched. Cough, cough.
Back when I, Big Brother, lived in the Underworld, to my knowledge, Uncle Li’s annual salary was only around twelve hundred million. He was frugal with food and clothing. I never expected this old fellow to gamble so high at Mahjong. Damn it!
After asking Uncle Li for eight hundred million in spirit money, I turned around and waved my hand, sending the money to eight old women.
I thanked them, saying, “Thank you, Aunties. You’re dismissed. You’re off duty, haha.”
Seeing this, Uncle Li’s old face showed an expression of a spendthrift looking at me.
It’s not hard to imagine that Old Li must be thinking I’m a good-for-nothing brat. I’ve been away for so many years, not only did I not earn any money, but as soon as I returned, I asked for some and spent it all.
If I hadn’t just returned, he would have surely given me a couple of blasts with his Italian cannon for being such a spendthrift.
I followed Uncle Li into King Yama’s Mansion.
After a round of greetings with Godfather, he sent someone to summon my three brothers to see me.
He also called Black and White Impermanence, Ox-Head, and Horse-Face.
Everyone sat together. Godfather sat at the head of the table, I sat to his left, Uncle Li to his right, and everyone else took their places accordingly.
Initially, Uncle Li didn’t intend to join the table, but he couldn’t resist my persuasion and, under Godfather’s threat, reluctantly sat down.
This was Uncle Li’s first time at the table drinking with us. He knew his place and behaved very properly. I remember how he used to be, and he was never like this today.
I reckoned, firstly, he was genuinely happy about my return today, and secondly, it was highly likely that after spending eight hundred million on me, he wanted to eat and drink more to compensate. After all, this meal today must have cost Godfather quite a bit.
On the enormous table was a seventeen-pound dragon lobster, just caught from the Nether River and still gasping for air, along with about twenty pounds of large crabs.
There was a black fish as thick as a water vat, and as for other side dishes, not to mention anything else, even the giant scallions were no ordinary scallions; each one was over ten meters long. The dipping sauce was even more incredible; it was said to be a soy sauce made from phoenix eggs. I don’t know if it’s true or not.
Just looking at it, one could feel how extraordinary this meal was.
Everything at the banquet was pleasant. Everyone was cheerful, laughing, and chatting, boasting about each other’s past glories.
White Impermanence said to me:
“Younger brother! It’s not me bragging, but over the years you were gone, the Underworld had quite a few incidents. A few years ago, an old turtle, after being killed, came to the Underworld and caused trouble. Even with numerous ghost messengers, it couldn’t be subdued. When I, your White Brother, went, my two wailing sticks instantly chopped off its head like it was farting, haha.”
As soon as White Impermanence finished speaking, Black Impermanence chimed in:
“That’s right. And there’s more. A few months ago, an old monk and two giant pythons fought to the death and ended up in the Underworld. I said, ‘You’re here now, so stop acting tough and just behave.’ But they wouldn’t stop. They started fighting again before the Ghost Gate. Those two snakes cast a spell and caused a flood that almost submerged the Ghost Gate.
I, your Black Brother, was so angry. I grabbed my soul-reaping chain, which was about four hundred meters long, and went over to bind them. Damn it, if I had brought anything shorter, it wouldn’t have been effective. Those two snakes were incredibly long.”
Ox-Head said, “What’s that compared to yours, Blacky? Remember when Er Lang Shen’s Sky-Howling Dog came to the Underworld to show off? I, Old Ox, subdued it with my two forks, didn’t I?”
Horse-Face retorted, “Nonsense, Old Ox, you’re just talking big. Didn’t I kick the Sky-Howling Dog a couple of times first, dazing it, before you could fork it?”
“Even without your kicks, I, Old Ox, could have forked it just the same!”
“What could you fork? Besides forking straw, what else can your broken fork do?” White Impermanence challenged.
“Exactly, are you really going to lose face like that? If Old Horse hadn’t kicked it a couple of times, would you have been able to fork it? Besides, Old Horse, you shouldn’t have either. That Sky-Howling Dog was already unsteady when it arrived; it probably had been drinking. Even if you hadn’t kicked it, it would have been subdued!” Black Impermanence also argued.
…
Watching these old brothers argue fiercely over bragging, I, Big Brother, felt both amused and helpless.
They’re all quite old, and yet they’re fighting over who can brag better.
Compared to the four of them, Jin Buque, Old Dog, and Xue Pan were much more composed. However, I suspected it wasn’t that these three were naturally composed, but rather they were somewhat afraid to be too unrestrained in front of these elders. When any relative arrived in this realm, wouldn’t they be handled by these few? Who would dare to show off in front of them?
Godfather, at the head of the table, watched it all with a happy and steady demeanor. Uncle Li, meanwhile, was silently stuffing his face, grabbing whatever dish was in front of him and shoving it into his mouth, regardless of whether he liked it or not.
If it were about other things, I, Big Brother, might have been lacking, but when it comes to bragging, who am I afraid of?
When Black and White Impermanence, Ox-Head, and Horse-Face were arguing so furiously that they were about to go outside and settle it, I, Big Brother, suddenly burst into laughter. “Hahaha, Brothers, I’m not bragging, but what you’ve all said is nothing!”
