Chapter 52: Monster
Just when I thought the three of us had a firm grip on this group of cultists.
“Holy spirit wandering in the world~! Please heed my call, I am your loyal believer! Please grant me strength! Amen!”
Damn it, I don’t know when this white-haired old man sneakily crawled out of the ditch, hiding behind a car and chanting magic!
After finishing singing, he joined hands with the two cultists who had just run away, forming a circle and jumping and howling.
“Hoo ga ha ga hei yo hei! Hoo ga ha ga hei yo hei~!”
Damn it, I didn’t understand what the hell they were yelling.
Just as I was thinking of rushing over and giving their butts a critical hit.
At this moment, the three of them turned pale instantly, spat out a mouthful of green unknown liquid, and their bodies convulsed continuously.
Immediately afterwards, I felt their momentum rapidly increasing at an incomprehensible speed.
In just a few seconds, I saw these three bastards, like the monsters in “Alien vs. Predator”, undergoing a terrifying transformation.
The white-haired old man grabbed the hands of the other two cultists, and like a vacuum cleaner, sucked the other two cultists into his own body. Then his head began to bulge outwards. Afterwards, this old man completely transformed into a giant monster ten meters tall with wings on its back.
Ah, damn it! Are cults so perverted now? Damn it, it’s more perverted than me sticking it to their butts!
Damn it. How am I supposed to fight this? I can still mess around with people, I’m not a Calabash Brother or Ultraman!
How can I fight a monster?
I am just a kind, handsome, upright, sunny, awesome, excellent Huaxia cultivator, I’ve never fought anything this perverted before~!
Not knowing what to do for a moment, I directly took out my mobile phone and took a few close-up shots of the monster with a “click”, and casually posted it on my Moments.
Brothers! Fellow Daoists! Big brothers, big sisters, aunts! Please tell me, how should you handle such a situation when you encounter it? Urgent inquiry! Waiting for a reply online!
…
Damn it, to be honest, I really wanted to run away, but my heart is as big as my butt!
If anyone else encountered this situation, what would they do? Wouldn’t they just run away?
Many people encounter danger and don’t run, wanting to post on Moments to show off, and end up losing their lives.
Cough cough cough.
But I’m different from them, I’m exorcising demons and protecting the way, not the kind of person who rushes into danger without knowing how to run, which would be diluting my innocence, wouldn’t it?
However, at this moment, even for someone as awesome as me, to tell you the truth, I was a little scared.
But what I didn’t expect was that my brother Old Dog showed me absolute trust! He walked over calmly, patted my shoulder,
And slowly said:
“What do we do, Old Ghost? Fight it? If you say fight, then I’ll fight it with you! Damn, this guy is really showing off, and it even went through ultimate evolution!”
Hearing this, my mouth twitched, and cold sweat instantly broke out.
Holy crap, I really wanted to tell him, big brother, just be my big brother, this is already beyond my cognition! You still want to fight?
I’m afraid I’ll lose my life! You really trust me~!
Xue Pan also floated over, rubbing his chest and saying:
“Big Brother, what do we do with this thing? Shall we three go together? Or will you go first and we’ll follow?”
Damn it, I’m speechless, you two be my big brother, father, Old Dog doesn’t understand, I won’t say anything, but you, a lecherous ghost, who gave you the courage?
Liang Jingru?
To be honest, although I was a little scared, at this point, neither of these two bastards backed down, so why should I, the big brother, be afraid?
Didn’t General Li Yunlong say it! A cowardly soldier makes a cowardly army, a cowardly general makes a cowardly army. Speaking of which, after mixing around for so many years, can I still be scared by a monster?
Isn’t this just a slightly larger livestock? Doesn’t it still have one head and four legs? Damn! It’s not like it’s immortal, is it?
Thinking of this, my mind steadied. Damn it, I absolutely cannot lose face in front of my two younger brothers. If I don’t hold steady at this critical moment, how will I continue to show off in the future?
So I pretended to be profound and coughed twice, and said with a show-off air:
“Oh my god! What is this? Speaking of which, we warriors are full of courage, can we still be scared by it? This is only in peacetime, our ancestors are gone, if this were before, this kind of guy dared to come to Huaxia, they would have become our rations, it’s just that we live better now and are picky about food, otherwise, you two look, big brother will definitely barbecue it! Damn!”
Hearing me say this, Old Dog immediately laughed,
“Holy crap, that’s good, Old Ghost, why don’t we three rescue Old Jin, and then grill this thing tonight?”
“Yes, yes, Big Brother, I haven’t eaten a monster yet!” Xue Pan also chimed in.
…
Fine, damn it, these two bastards really can’t see the cold sweat all over my head, my face is almost covered in dark lines, how can you two not see it? And you still want to eat monsters? You might as well eat me, okay? Heavens, Earth, Celestial God, Esteemed Lord, I’m truly speechless.
But after thinking about it carefully, damn! I’m still cultivating immortality! Compared to them, I’m nothing! They have less strength than me but are braver than me, why am I scared?
Just as I was lost in thought, thinking of saying something else to show off, the monster didn’t give me that time.
“Roar~!”
“Jie jie jie! Kōku, warishi wa.”
The monster had completed its transformation, drooling at the corners of its mouth as it looked at the three of us.
It was as if it hadn’t eaten for eight hundred years. It was evident from its gaze that it was starving to death.
Damn! Let’s go all out!
“Old Dog, Panzi, damn it, kill it, big brother will grill skewers for you tonight! Go get it~!”
After saying that, I didn’t dare to move, and these two bastards rushed forward, still shouting as they ran:
“Kill! Eat my Dog Lord’s dog feces incantation!”
“Kill! I’ll let you see how lustful your Lord Pan is!”
I slapped my forehead and gritted my teeth, “Damn it, Mount Lu Ascending Dragon Strike!”
Then I also rushed forward.
“Bang bang bang!”
“Boom boom boom!”
The battle was extremely fierce and fought with great passion.
Old Dog continuously threw dog feces, and was kicked away by the monster from time to time.
Xue Pan clung to the monster’s butt and was really thrusting away, which almost made me scold him. You damn old bastard! What are you doing? Are you fighting it or having sex with it?
“Dad’s butt, Mom’s chest, Grandpa’s head, Grandma’s bear.”
This fight made my mouth stutter, and I couldn’t even say an incantation.
“Ah ya ya ya, you grandson’s fourth maternal uncle and grandmother! I’ll fight you to the death!”
I fiercely took a bite at the monster’s jaw.
