Chapter 195:
Her waist was gripped tightly, Xie Wanning couldn’t even turn back, and the moment he pressed up against her, she got angry all at once, gritting her teeth as she said, “You dare to try coming in!”
“Oh?” Lu Ziyan paused his movements, bent down to press against her back, his lips kissing her butterfly bone, kissing it again and again, “If I go in, what does Wanwan want to do?”
He lifted her chin, lowering his eyes with a smile as he asked, “What’s wrong? Not aroused by me?”
Two years as a couple, how could he not sense whether she was in the mood or not.
In this life, it was only their second night, yet she was utterly unenthusiastic; no matter how hard he tried every trick, she showed no joy…
Lu Ziyan’s gaze darkened, his waist sinking down a bit, yet his voice was calm, “Wanwan wouldn’t be tired of me already, would she?”
“Let go of me first!” Xie Wanning twisted her waist to dodge his closeness, too lazy to deal with his sharp words, saying, “Many problems can’t be solved by doing this kind of thing.”
“Is that so?” His tone was indifferent, “Why don’t you first tell me who was on your mind when you were under me just now.”
As he spoke, the hand pinching her jaw applied a bit more force, leaning down to look into her eyes, “Come on, tell me, does he make you even happier?”
“…” Xie Wanning laughed in anger, “What answer do you want to hear?”
What answer!
Lu Ziyan’s gaze sharpened, his lips trembling slightly, only to hear her continue, “Lu Ziyan, you have to admit a fact—it’s you and I who let down Pei Yuqing; you forcibly took his wife, slept with me, and now do you want to force me to compare your bedroom skills to decide who’s better?”
She tilted her head to look at him, smiling with malice, “You really want me to say it?”
As if scalded by her smile, the iron clamp-like hand at her waist suddenly let go; Xie Wanning finally turned around, raising her hand to slap him, but before it could land, her wrist was seized and stopped.
“I’ve never felt I let down that sickly person; the truth is he snatched my person first, taking advantage of our quarrel to worm his way in!” Lu Ziyan gripped her wrist, his face twisted, enunciating each word, “The moment he touched you, he should have been prepared to make deadly enemies with me.”
He had cherished her like a treasure, placed her at the heart’s tip and treasured her above all—yet this young lady had been touched by another man, from body to heart invaded by someone else; if he could calmly let it go, he wouldn’t be Lu Ziyan!
“Finally not pretending anymore, huh!” Xie Wanning burst out laughing, “Finally admitting you’ve never let go of your killing intent toward Pei Yuqing, right? Lu Ziyan, do you know what the consequence will be for deceiving me!”
What consequence…
“No matter what, you just want to go back to his side,” Lu Ziyan laughed too, his laugh brimming with killing intent, “No problem, you’ve never stopped having that thought anyway; once I carve him up, you’ll finally settle down and live properly with me.”
Hearing this, Xie Wanning nearly doubled over in laughter; she wanted to wipe away the tears from laughing, but her wrist was held tight, so she could only look at the man before her with teary eyes, smiling, “I know I can’t stop you; go ahead and kill him.”
“What do you want to do?” Lu Ziyan pinched her nape, gritting his teeth as he demanded, “What do you want to do!”
“What else can I do,” Xie Wanning looked at him like he was a fool, “Of course, die with him; you’re so powerful, we can’t win against you alive, but we can always die.”
The moment the words fell, dead silence surrounded them.
Lu Ziyan seemed frozen, staring blankly at her.
Xie Wanning had long been on the verge of collapse, no longer caring how hurtful her words were; she stared unblinkingly back at him, saying slowly, “If anything happens to Pei Yuqing, I’ll die; you can try it.”
The man before her seemed to suddenly lose all strength, the tight grip on her wrist loosening; before Xie Wanning could pull her hand free, she saw him suddenly open his mouth and spit out a mouthful of blood.
A few drops splashed on her face, scalding hot enough to nearly burn her cheek.
Xie Wanning blinked lightly, clenching her hands into fists, forcibly holding back the urge to support him; the vicious words on the tip of her tongue could no longer be spoken.
She had angered him into spitting blood again…
Lu Ziyan slumped sideways at the edge of the couch, blood staining his lips, yet he didn’t even have the strength to lift his hand and wipe it.
He stared blankly at the canopy embroidered with green bamboo, motionless, his expression dazed.
……What a heroic, unyielding pair of lovers.
He was so fortunate to witness such undying love; should he applaud?
Thinking this, he actually raised his hand and clapped.
Xie Wanning clutched the quilt and sat up, seeing his pale face, blood at his lips, and his hands clapping—it was both frightening and heartbreaking.
“…You,” she pursed her lips, reaching out to push him, “Do you really have to kill Pei Yuqing?”
The man lightly clapping stopped, saying nothing.
Xie Wanning paused, leaning closer to wipe the blood from his lips; her hand had just lifted when it was grasped.
Lu Ziyan lifted his eyes, “Shouldn’t he die?”
The emotion in his eyes was extremely faint, even his tone flat; it was a question, but really stating a fact.
Xie Wanning, who had originally wanted to try persuading him, felt powerless too; she gave a bitter laugh and said no more.
She was the one who should die.
She finally understood: she was the jinx; as long as she lived, he and Pei Yuqing were destined to be irreconcilable, never ending.
Without her, Pei Yuqing would still be the noble, dignified Young Lord of the Duke’s Estate, high above all.
After marrying her, he hadn’t had a single day of peace; now his wife had been kidnapped, forced into divorce, his reputation in ruins.
Even his life was in peril because of her.
She should die.
Without her, Lu Ziyan’s mind wouldn’t have twisted like this.
It was all her fault!
She was truly fed up with this life of being fought over, constantly at the center of the vortex.
Fought over by two men, even falling into the hands of bandits for half a month—anyone could guess the gossip in the Capital City.
No better than a calamitous seductress.
Where was any good reputation left.
The Xie Clan was dragged down by her, this jinx.
If she could, Xie Wanning wished to disappear completely, far from these infuriating people and matters.
Many thoughts were fine if they never stirred, but once they sprouted, they grew like weeds in the wind, unstoppable.
Xie Wanning supported herself on the couch, lowering her eyes to look at the man beneath her.
His face was still very pale, eyelids weakly closed, his whole body shrouded in deathly pallor, full of despair.
……Actually, when he spat blood, she had felt heartbroken.
But she couldn’t admit it.
She remembered owing Pei Yuqing, so how could she let herself feel sorry for the man who wanted to kill him.
But now, since she’d decided to disappear completely…
She thought for a moment, then suddenly leaned down and kissed his lips; the instant their lips touched, she clearly felt the man beneath her breathing stop.
Soon, his lips curved slightly, saying, “For him, you’re really willing to go all out.”
At such sarcasm, Xie Wanning didn’t get angry; she quietly looked at the man before her, and after a while, pecked his lips again.
“Enough!” Lu Ziyan pinched her nape, stopping her movements, “Honey trap won’t work.”
Xie Wanning pursed her lips, reaching to touch his face, “Then what will work?”
Lu Ziyan suddenly opened his eyes wide, gritting his teeth, “For his life, you’re willing to do anything?”
Xie Wanning said nothing.
He sneered viciously, “Fine, come serve me too.”
As he spoke, the hand gripping her nape suddenly tightened.
Xie Wanning wasn’t prepared and fell onto him; his voice rang in her ear, “Did he teach you this?”
Hearing this, her eyelids twitched hard, and the bit of heartache she’d just gathered vanished into smoke.
This man didn’t deserve even a shred of kindness from her!
“What’s wrong?” Not waiting for her to speak, Lu Ziyan gave a strange smile, “Not willing?”
Xie Wanning hummed, saying, “Not willing.”
“Weren’t you willing to go all out for him?” He pinched her nape and lifted slightly, seemingly puzzled, “I can do it for you, why can’t you?”
His movements were as casual as pinching a kitten, reigniting her just-subsided anger; after struggling twice and seeing he wouldn’t let go, Xie Wanning snapped, “That’s you willingly debasing yourself.”
She couldn’t beat him, couldn’t break free, so she could only lash out with her mouth—this was already quite futile, but to Lu Ziyan, her words hurt no less than blades, even far more.
The moment she said it, his face changed drastically.
Xie Wanning realized it too, nervously staring at him, afraid she’d angered him into spitting blood again, hurriedly saying, “I was talking nonsense; don’t take it to heart.”
No matter what, she shouldn’t trample him like that.
Lu Ziyan was silent for a long time, his face ashen.
Xie Wanning added, “I didn’t mean to belittle you; don’t spit blood again.”
Lu Ziyan’s eyelashes trembled, lifting his eyes to her; the emotion in his eyes was suppressed, as if the next instant he’d spit blood for her to see.
Such a gaze left Xie Wanning at a loss for words; after hesitating long, she tentatively reached out…
He was extremely sensitive; her hand had barely touched when he reacted.
Xie Wanning’s breathing hitched; they’d just done it once, both naked.
She lowered her eyes and looked for a long time…
Several times she gritted her teeth and lowered her head, but still couldn’t bring herself to do it.
Finally, his arm tightened, pulling her into his arms, saying faintly, “Don’t do such self-debasing things.”
“…” Her own words thrown back at her verbatim, Xie Wanning was speechless for a while, still trying to explain, “We just… you…”
He should at least wash first!
She spoke haltingly; Lu Ziyan couldn’t understand her meaning and didn’t want to make things difficult for her on this.
Self-debasing it was.
Whatever she said, he’d accept it.
The two who had just been arguing red-faced now held each other, seeming full of tenderness.
For a moment, reluctance stirred in Xie Wanning’s heart; she reached to wrap her arms around his waist, asking softly, “Can’t you really let Pei Yuqing go?”
The surface warmth shattered; Lu Ziyan closed his eyes, his heart ice-cold, countering, “Even if I agree to let him go, would you believe it yourself, Wanwan?”
“…” Xie Wanning choked, no more words needed.
Indeed, even if he promised to let Pei Yuqing go now, she wouldn’t believe it.
The fact was, as long as she existed for a day, their enmity was irreconcilable for a day.
Only if she disappeared forever, vanished from before them, never to appear again.
She would leave a letter for Lu Ziyan, telling him that if anything happened to Pei Yuqing, she absolutely wouldn’t live alone; only thus could she ensure Pei Yuqing’s life.
This was the only way Xie Wanning could think of.
As long as she stayed by Lu Ziyan’s side for a day, his killing intent toward Pei Yuqing wouldn’t vanish.
He would think that even if he killed Pei Yuqing, he could use her parents and elder brother to force her to live on.
Only by leaving completely, beyond his control over her life and death, would he have scruples.
Pei Yuqing would arrive within ten days; she had to leave before then…
Probably never imagining she’d think of leaving, Lu Ziyan hadn’t restricted Xie Wanning’s whereabouts.
These past few days, she’d gone out and learned about Northern Frontier City.
After the Jin Dynasty’s defeat, the city gates weren’t strictly guarded; with constant disasters and many refugees everywhere, no travel permits were needed to enter or exit the city.
As long as she planned well, she could escape.
But where would she go?
Determined to stay far from these infuriating people and matters, she couldn’t return to the Capital City or go to Pei Yuqing.
In this war-torn era, and she was just a young lady…
So what—even dying outside was better than watching Pei Yuqing be chopped into minced meat.
She could ride horses, draw a bow and shoot arrows; she’d even learned some martial arts from Lu Ziyan for a few months back then—not much compared to these men with deep internal energy, but decent among ordinary people.
Her embroidery skills were passable too; she absolutely wouldn’t starve.
Of course… if leaving, she had to take plenty of silver money; if she could avoid hardship, she didn’t want it.
Having made up her mind, for the next two days, Xie Wanning didn’t go to the study; at dawn, she’d take a few guards out of the estate to scout escape routes, returning only when dusk fell.
She showed great curiosity about local customs, buying only local clothes in drab colors, utterly inconspicuous.
To avoid attention, she dressed plainly when going out, deliberately darkening her face and hands; with winter’s cold, wrapped head to toe, she blended perfectly with other pedestrians on the street.
Lu Ziyan had no mind-reading; unaware of her plans, he thought she was just avoiding him.
This day, Xie Wanning returned from outside, the several guards behind her laden with her purchases.
As she walked, she turned to look at Ming Feng beside her, arms full of things, asking, “As a deputy general, following me around these two days—won’t it affect your duties?”
Ming Feng said nothing, just shook his head.
Xie Wanning smiled; though both Ming Feng and Ming Jian were Lu Ziyan’s most trusted confidants, she was actually more familiar with Ming Jian.
In her past life, when Lu Ziyan went on campaign to the Northern Frontier, during the months she lived in the family temple, she was required to copy a Buddhist scripture by hand each day, checked by Ming Jian.
As for Ming Feng…
Past life and this one, their only contact was that time at Hot Spring Villa.
He had protected her with his life to let her leave.
