Chapter 84: What The Hell Is Sitting-forgetting Dao?
The car started, and along the way Jiang Ce learned quite a few secrets about the Gatekeeper from Lou Leshan’s mouth.
None of them matched what he had heard from Wei Lao’s mouth or seen with his own eyes.
Jiang Ce finally understood why those guys had all gone to sit in the back; not only was Lou Leshan a chatterbox, but everything he said was completely nutrientless trash.
While driving the car, Lou Leshan said enthusiastically: “Let me tell you something, but you can’t tell anyone else.”
“Mm, go ahead.” Jiang Ce smiled and nodded, wanting to see what else he could come up with.
“It’s about Cao Gong.” Lou Leshan’s expression became a bit more solemn.
“Oh?” Jiang Ce perked up a little with interest. Matters about Cao Gong couldn’t be made-up nonsense, right? If he dared to spout nonsense about that, then I could only say he was truly ruthless.
“After my meticulous analysis…” Lou Leshan’s voice got smaller and smaller.
“Mm?”
“I suspect Cao Gong and Wei Lao might be dragon friends?”
“Holy shit, you’re really not afraid of dying!” Jiang Ce was so shocked he tactically leaned back: “You’re one hell of a man!”
Lou Leshan turned around: “Liang Zhi Che, he’s using profanity, aren’t you a Confucian Cultivator? Tell him off quick!”
Liang Zhi Che in the back seat had been listening to the two big brothers’ nutrientless conversation up front and was already drowsy, refuting feebly: “He’s my Big Brother, what am I supposed to say to him? What about you, aren’t you a Confucian Cultivator too? Why don’t you say something?”
“Ah right, I’m a Confucian Cultivator too. Forget it, I’m a new era Confucian Cultivator, I don’t do that rotten Confucian stuff.”
But upon hearing this, Jiang Ce grew suspicious. Though he thought it probably wasn’t the case, he couldn’t help but probe:
“Leshan, let me ask you a few small questions.”
“What?”
“Confucius was blocked and robbed on the road; who was the robber?”
“Zi Lu.”
“One basket of food, one gourd of drink, in a shabby alley, that’s referring to”
“Yan Hui.”
“Did Wei Zheng accept Legalist ideology or Mohist ideology.”
“Legalist! Mohists are all about inventing stuff.”
“The thing you cultivate is some bullshit Confucianism! Wei Zheng accepted North practical Confucian ideology! These are all basic common sense. You’re not a Confucian Cultivator; what the hell are you cultivating?!”
Jiang Ce’s words were like a bomb thrown into water, stirring up huge waves.
Not only were the group of youngsters shocked, even Xuan Qing and Ku Zhen were drawn to pay attention, looking over in confusion.
“My perfect disguise was still seen through after all…”
Lou Leshan smiled sadly: “I thought if I could fool myself, I could fool everyone, but unexpectedly someone still saw through it.”
“That’s right! I’m a Martial Artist! I pretend to be a Confucian Cultivator every day to eavesdrop on all kinds of gossip! Because Confucian Cultivators are the most popular!”
With that, snow-white Protective Energy rose around Lou Leshan’s body, a sharp hissing sound rang out, and a small white fox phantom appeared.
Xuan Qing and Ku Zhen, being well-informed, realized something the instant they saw that phantom and closed their eyes to rest again, putting away their curiosity.
But Qin Shen Bo, also being a Martial Artist, was greatly shocked and couldn’t help saying: “Such a vivid Martial Soul, top quality!”
Jiang Ce wasn’t very familiar with Martial Dao terminology and just said meaningfully: “You can fool brothers, just don’t fool yourself.”
Meanwhile, Liang Zhi Che’s recognition of the extent of Lou Leshan’s fakeness rose another level, and he said in a daze: “You’ve been in the Gatekeeper for three years, always acting as a Confucian Cultivator; how could that be fake?”
Lou Leshan opened his mouth to explain, but Jiang Ce cut in first: “You don’t get it; negative times negative makes positive. From the moment you all thought he started turning into Sitting-Forgetting Dao, you’d automatically default that everything on him before that was real.”
“Amitabha, you’ve disguised yourself for so long, and it was exposed so easily?”
Ling Xun asked curiously.
“It’s not really a secret; whoever knows, knows. Lots of people know. Lu Yun knew early on and just didn’t tell you.” Lou Leshan didn’t care at all.
Seeing everyone’s questioning gazes turn to him, Lu Yun explained awkwardly: “Ah, I’m always one to respect others. If it’s harmless, I won’t support it but I also won’t oppose or criticize it.”
As he said this, Jiang Ce vaguely saw a layer of pure holy light emanating from Lu Yun’s body.
Holy shit, this is a real Saint!
“Does Xiao Zhi Men know?” Jiang Ce asked casually.
“He knows.” Lou Leshan nodded: “He didn’t say anything wrong about it. The strange thing is, he seemed really excited at the time, saying something like paper can’t wrap fire, and that on the day the truth comes out, I’ll face the greatest tribulation of my life and be reborn through nirvana.
How can finding fun be any tribulation? Pretty strange; I don’t really get it.”
Jiang Ce thought of those deceived by Lou Leshan, then recalled what Xiao Lin had done to him, and sighingly patted Lou Leshan’s shoulder: “It’s okay if you don’t get it; I do. He’s a habitual offender. When you reach my age, you’ll understand.”
Liang Zhi Che in the back seat didn’t get it and could only mutter in dissatisfaction: “Riddler.”
The rest of the journey was much quieter for Jiang Ce for once.
Perhaps because he was countered by Jiang Ce right at the start, plus having his pants pulled down, Lou Leshan felt defeated and didn’t say another word the whole way, driving quietly.
Soon, night fell, and Lou Leshan got off the highway, pulling into a nearby farmhouse restaurant.
Everyone was puzzled, and Qin Shen Bo asked directly: “Martial Artists have abundant physical energy; they can go ten days or half a month without sleep no problem. Why stop and stay overnight?”
Lou Leshan hemmed and hawed: “They check strictly at night.”
“What do you mean?” Jiang Ce suddenly had a bad premonition.
“I don’t have a driver’s license.”
“Didn’t you just say you do DiDi on the side? You can bullshit about even this?!” Jiang Ce was so angry he nearly fainted, thinking it was no wonder the car felt like it was floating; helplessly he turned back and asked: “Does anyone have a driver’s license?”
Everyone shook their heads; only Lu Yun raised his hand: “I do, but it’s expired; I didn’t renew it.”
“Driver’s licenses can expire?”
Lu Yun nodded and explained: “Because most of the time the car isn’t as fast as I can run, so I sold my cars, and the driver’s license naturally wasn’t useful anymore.”
“Then what do we do?”
Lu Yun thought for a moment and said: “We can only go to the vehicle management office tomorrow to apply for an out-of-town replacement. We definitely can’t leave tonight.”
Lou Leshan, if nothing else, had thick skin; after getting out of the car, he ignored everyone’s resentful gazes and even sighed: “The air in the wild is really nice.”
“Don’t talk about irrelevant crap; let’s just stay one night first.”
Jiang Ce cursed his bad luck inwardly; before closing the car door, he subconsciously checked if anything was left behind. Just this one look, and he was completely stunned: “You didn’t even pull the handbrake?!”
