Chapter 33: “lin The Half-immortal”
When they exited the passage, Fatty was already waiting at the airport pickup spot, holding a “Lin Yan comrade” sign in his left hand and a “Wu Xie comrade” sign in his right hand. Paired with his fairly serious expression, he looked just like a cadre at a meeting, standing out refreshingly unique among a bunch of “XX Boss” and “XX Company” pickup signs.
After nearly a month apart, when Wu Xie and Lin Yan saw Fatty’s grinning face again, they still felt like the days of supporting each other underground in Lu King’s Palace while escaping for their lives were just yesterday. Though not the happiest memories, by a twist of fate they had become teammates they could trust with their backs. For these two who had their first tomb raid be such a big scene of either Blood Corpse or Corpse Beetle, this was definitely one of the deepest impressions of their lives.
So when they saw Fatty, Wu Xie looked very excited: “Fatty! Over here!”
Fatty, who had been tiptoeing and straining to look around in the crowd, turned at the sound. He was first startled by Lin Yan in ancient-style clothes, then saw Wu Xie smiling and waving at him.
“Sorry, excuse me, coming through!” Fatty squeezed over to them, looked them up and down, first gave Wu Xie’s shoulder a hard pat as a greeting, then circled around Lin Yan: “Hey, young comrade, what’s the deal with you? How come after a few weeks you decided to dress up like an actor in opera? This outfit is finely made, who would’ve thought, young comrade, you’re actually a rich guy.”
Lin Yan shook his head with a wry smile: “It’s not like I wanted to dress like this, the situation was special.”
Fatty didn’t pry further; he wasn’t that curious. With his experience standing firm at Panjiayuan for so long, some secrets were better left undug. So he nodded with a grin and beckoned them to follow: “Come on, come on, Fatty Ye just got a new car, your lucky day!”
“Whoa, not bad at all, Fatty Bro’s a rich guy!” Lin Yan’s eyes lit up looking at this brand-new Prado. He loved big off-road vehicles like this, though back in his previous era before crossing over, what caught his eye was the later popular Hummer.
Fatty watched Lin Yan’s eyes practically glued to it and tossed his head confidently: “You bet! After coming back from there, I brought out a little thing, made a bit of money, plus my savings, just enough for a new ride. What do you think, doesn’t Fatty Ye have good taste? Wanna take it for a spin?”
Lin Yan nodded eagerly: “Sure, sure! Thanks, Fatty Ye!” In his words, he quietly bumped Fatty up a generation, and seeing Fatty’s pleased face, it clearly hit the spot.
Wu Xie chuckled quietly to the side. These two clowns together were basically a comedy duo live show!
Once in the car, Lin Yan fondled the steering wheel, the dashboard, even played with the handbrake all over. Fatty sat in the passenger seat chuckling as he watched, and when he seemed done, suggested: “How about it, take her for a drive? I’ll give directions, let’s go eat roast duck to welcome you guys and wash off the dust?”
At the mention of roast duck, even though Wu Xie’s favorite was stinky tofu, his eyes lit up, staring intently at Fatty. Beijing roast duck was famous! They said the line could stretch two li every day. Coming to Beijing without eating it once just wouldn’t do! Lin Yan needed no saying; he fired it up and took off in one smooth motion, so fast Fatty didn’t even react: “What are we waiting for, let’s go!”
But before going fifty meters, Lin Yan suddenly remembered something, slammed on the brakes, pulled over, hurriedly unbuckled and tried to get out. Fatty was baffled: “What’s up?”
Lin Yan dashed to his side and opened the door: “Fatty, you drive! I just remembered, I don’t have a driver’s license! If we get checked, we’re done for?”
Hearing this, Fatty and Wu Xie’s faces both darkened.
Good grief, daring to drive without a license? That bold?
Lin Yan awkwardly rubbed his nose. Cough, well, in his previous life he’d gone to driving school and gotten his license, just no car! When the itch hit, he could only borrow a friend’s or colleague’s, or go to a racing club or something. Just arriving in this world, he hadn’t thought of it yet, acted on reflex and went for it. Good thing he remembered early! If they got checked, who’d be the unlucky one? Fatty!
Fatty clearly thought of it too, sitting in the driver’s seat with lingering fear as he exhaled: “Good grief, lucky you remembered early. If I recall right, there’s a stretch right out of the airport that’s for drunk driving checks, random spot checks—if they picked us, we’d really be screwed!”
Wu Xie nodded cooperatively, and threw Lin Yan a glare. Totally unreliable! Lin Yan muttered unconvinced: “It’s random spot check, right? If it was you driving, you might get checked, but if it was me, maybe I’d pass right through! I’m the luck king!”
At the checkpoint Fatty mentioned, they saw the cars ahead go straight through, but when it was Fatty’s turn, the traffic cop waved the little flag in his hand.
Fatty: ???
Wu Xie: !!!
Lin Yan was totally dumbfounded too: “See, what did I say? You driving and you still got checked.”
Of course Fatty had no issues; after a quick check they were on the road. On the way, Fatty gave Lin Yan a weird look: “Little comrade Lin, you’re spot on with that. If I remember right, there’s two more checkpoints a few kilometers ahead. Wanna prophecy again?”
Lin Yan was inwardly muttering too, that was eerily accurate! But if he drove and actually got checked, wouldn’t that ruin his rep? He glanced at the rearview mirror and suddenly had an idea. If he remembered right, Wu Xie had a driver’s license?
“Cough cough, if you swap Wu Xie to drive, maybe you won’t get checked.”
Wu Xie looked at him in surprise: “How do you know I have a driver’s license?”
Lin Yan was stunned: “How wouldn’t I know you have a driver’s license?” Suddenly he got what Wu Xie meant—Wu Xie had never driven in front of him or shown him his license, so how did he know? That couldn’t be explained by prophecy!
In an instant, his brain cells fired at max speed, IQ instantly breaking 250: “I saw you drive me!”
Wu Xie looked suspicious: “Really?”
Lin Yan swore earnestly: “Really!”
Fatty looked totally baffled beside them: “What are you two talking about? I understand every word, but put together it makes no sense.”
He looked at Wu Xie in the rearview: “Wanna pull over and switch, you drive?”
Wu Xie hesitated: “Shall we try?”
Before in Lu King’s Palace, Lin Yan claimed to have seen future scenes, like a vague prophecy back then, not as precise as now, but he couldn’t tell if Lin Yan was joking. Maybe try it?
With doubts, he swapped positions with Fatty and drove toward the road Fatty pointed. Not long after, sure enough they reached the spot Fatty mentioned, except now it was completely empty.
“This…” Fatty fell into doubt. If they hadn’t switched just now, he wouldn’t have been checked either? So was Lin Yan right or wrong? Couldn’t tell!
Wu Xie was speechless too, watching Fatty’s doubt life expression through the rearview, and probed: “Shall we… switch back?”
Fatty nodded: “Let’s try! I don’t believe he’s targeting me today!”
Lin Yan pursed his lips, thinking that wasn’t necessarily true… Fatty was famously Crow’s Mouth, he’d set up such a flag, of course he’d get checked!
Sure enough, shortly after Fatty switched back to the driver’s seat, they reached the third traffic cop spot.
This time the car in front of Fatty was being checked. Fatty smugly said: “See, not checking me this time, the one before was just bad luck and you got it right by coincidence!”
He didn’t notice Lin Yan’s schadenfreude face.
Lin Yan had a wider view than Fatty; Fatty’s view was blocked by the car pulled over to the left in front of him, missing the other team of traffic cops ahead.
Sure enough, Fatty got checked again.
Back in the car, Fatty looked utterly incredulous, while Wu Xie sank into thought… Was this Lin Yan’s “prophecy” evolving again? Related to that thing in his head? Higher assimilation or fusion level? Good or bad?
Lin Yan watched Fatty’s expression and snickered inwardly: This wasn’t me saying it, you set your own flag, can’t blame me!
Right once is luck, three times in a row is more than luck! Fatty looked like his worldview had been reshaped: “Young comrade, be honest, you’re really not some hidden sect inheritance disciple come down the mountain to cultivate in the world? You’re way more accurate than those old half-immortals at our Panjiayuan! They guess based on reactions to scam money, but you—this is real prophecy!”
Lin Yan was dumbfounded. What hidden sect half-immortal, why not say I’m a cultivator calling wind and rain? I was just mouthing off, you set your own flag, blame me? He rubbed his chin and sank into thought… In a way, knowing some plot, he really was a prophet? Maybe earn a title like Lin Half-Immortal? Sounded pretty cool, at least better than Wang Pangzi!
Wu Xie held back laughter in the back: “Cough, Fatty, you might not know, Lin Yan has a nickname back home ‘Lin Half-Immortal’, go to him for fortunes, super accurate!”
Lin Yan glared at him, meaning: Don’t sabotage me! I don’t know everything!
Wu Xie looked back innocently: But didn’t you just nail it?
Lin Yan: .
Fatty met his eyes too: What are you two eye contacting about?
Lin Yan didn’t know how to explain, simply imitated Zhang Qiling, closed his eyes, leaned back, and meditated, leaving Fatty utterly confused: These two young comrades, so mysterious, what for? Speaking of, how accurate is super accurate? Can I get him to read my love luck?
PS: How can Crow’s Mouth be such an ugly nickname? At least Half-Immortal sounds right!
