Chapter 3: Said We’d Cultivate Immortality, But You’re Making Me Play Liao Zhai Here?
The bright moon spits out light.
The courtyard is secluded and cold.
In the Ascension Hall, lamps blazed brightly, incense filled the hall, and rising steam from the water mist made the entire space warm like spring.
Several pretty maids stood in the corner of the main hall, whispering secretly, their faces showing more or less some worry.
“This batch of new immortal seedlings has more people than last time. We expected to keep a few more, but there are more useless ones like silver spearheads with wax heads—shiny on the surface. After screening, only seven passed.”
“Even fewer than last time. If it displeases the immortal aunts and they punish us, what will we do?”
“I’m not afraid of the other immortal aunts getting angry, just afraid of the Mother of Virtue and Power…”
“Shh! Shut up!”
Perhaps the ‘Mother of Virtue and Power’ was too terrifying. Just mentioning the name made these maids tremble, and they quickly shut their mouths, only exchanging glances, all worried and fearful in their eyes.
Suddenly, a crisp laugh came, and a maid with damp clothes walked over from the hot spring pool side. She was also fifteen or sixteen years old, with a relaxed expression.
“Don’t worry. Though fewer in number this time, we picked up two treasures. If the Mother knows, not only will she not punish us, she’ll reward us!”
“Ah?”
……
Xiao Chan had changed back into a colorful dress, though the collar was inevitably damp. She left the Ascension Hall alone, taking small steps down the stairs, looking around with her eyes, and softly calling, “Granny Shi, are you here?”
Clack clack!
Dull footsteps came from behind.
Xiao Chan turned her head and saw a person emerge from the shadow of the corridor pillar: a square-faced, broad-foreheaded, dark-skinned sturdy woman with a scar about an inch long on her left eyebrow, giving a somewhat ferocious look.
This woman with a somewhat fierce face was not only dressed neatly and sharply, but her build and frame were unusually burly, no less than a sturdy man.
At this moment, she stared expressionlessly at Xiao Chan, making the latter shrink her neck. She quickly held out a notebook with both hands. “Granny Shi, this time’s list is out. Please deliver it to the immortal aunts for review first. Later, this servant will bring the new immortal seedlings over.”
Granny Shi took the notebook, opened it, and checked it under the light from the Ascension Hall, frowning deeply.
Xiao Chan quickly said, “Though the number this time is unsatisfactory, there are two outstanding ones. The Mother and the immortal aunts will surely be satisfied when they see them.”
She pointed a slender finger lightly on the notebook, where the page clearly listed names, followed by notes on natural talent, capacity, and so on. Xiao Chan pointed to two names. “This Young Master Hong, Granny must have heard of him. Natural talent top-tier, handsome and elegant, with a golden quality and jade face. And this Wang Ai, the warrior. His natural talent is average… but he has a special talent, a very particular kind, unprecedented…”
Xiao Chan racked her brains but couldn’t think of a fitting adjective, so she said, “Granny, you’d better see for yourself!”
Granny Shi had only roughly scanned the numbers before. Now following Xiao Chan’s finger, she immediately drew in a cold breath. “Really?”
“True!” One word, Xiao Chan said firmly.
“A true celestial being!”
……
“The warrior is no mortal, but a celestial being!”
Several pretty maids gathered around Wang Ai, exclaiming in admiration, tilting their heads up, their faces full of awe, respectfully helping Wang Ai change clothes.
Wang Ai puffed out his chest, gazing arrogantly, even deliberately twisting his waist quickly, as if making ‘whoosh whoosh’ sounds.
“Is it that shocking?” The other five newcomers were dumbfounded, their faces blank, all seeming struck.
After bathing, only seven remained from the ten or so after eliminations, led by the maids to change into new clothes. But besides several serving Wang Ai, even Hong Yuan had only two maids.
“Where’s the promised Flying Immortal Pool to shed the mortal body? It’s all damn nonsense!”
Hong Yuan felt it only washed away his body odor. This place increasingly looked like certain places, like a brothel. Of course, as a cultured scholar, Hong Yuan elegantly called it heaven on earth.
But this seemed exclusively for women.
Very reasonable!
Gender equality, no reason women can’t visit brothels.
“No, I have to leave.”
Understanding was understanding, but he still needed to escape. Hong Yuan’s plain scholar’s robe was left by the hot spring pool. Now, under the two maids’ arrangement, he changed into loose robes with an inner lining, soft in texture, warm to the skin—clearly top-quality silk clothing.
Hong Yuan glanced at the two maids, slim in build. He clenched his fist, and his arm tensed under the robe, feeling a surge of strength.
No way to test now how much the transmigration benefit had boosted him, but one punch each, these maids should be easy to knock out.
Hong Yuan made up his mind to slip away at the right moment.
Moments later, everyone was dressed properly. Xiao Chan stepped in front of them and smiled. “Now that you’re ready, please follow this servant, immortal seedlings, to the Immortal Platform to pay respects to the immortal aunts.”
“But before that, this servant says in advance: on the road, don’t ask questions. In front of the immortal aunts, don’t speak, and absolutely don’t act frivolously or offend their beauty. Follow the immortal aunts’ instructions only.”
“Immortal Maiden Xiao Chan, rest assured. Wang won’t dare act wild.” Wang Ai laughed.
Xiao Chan frowned slightly, but seeing it was Wang Ai who spoke, she didn’t get angry, just lightly waved her hand and led the group of maids with lamps to guide the way.
Just out of the Ascension Hall, Hong Yuan’s face suddenly changed.
Eight sturdy servant women were already waiting in the outer courtyard, though women, all in tight-fitting clothes, tall and burly, with thick powerful arms and legs—not the kind that would collapse with one punch.
Most crucially, two sturdy women had bulging waist pouches, likely hiding short weapons, while the other six each held quarterstaffs.
The eight sturdy women didn’t greet Xiao Chan, quickly splitting into two teams, sandwiching Hong Yuan and the others in the middle, their gazes stern, as if any misstep would bring the sticks down.
Hong Yuan inwardly cried out that this was bad. He didn’t know his own strength, how many he could take on barehanded, but facing sharp sticks and weapons, he’d definitely suffer.
Moreover, Hong Yuan peered into the dark depths and listened closely, hearing faint footsteps. Clearly, the guard strength of this Biwu Immortal Realm was not just these sturdy women.
The others were also startled, not daring to meet the sturdy women’s sharp gazes.
“Can only play it by ear.”
Hong Yuan sighed.
The so-called ‘Immortal Platform’ was actually the main house of this large estate. The route passed the lakeside courtyard where Hong Yuan woke up, then deeper in another hundred steps or so, arriving at the destination shortly.
Compared to other buildings, the Immortal Platform’s foundation was raised three feet, adding a sense of majesty. Bright red light shone from within, illuminating the hall front.
The other maids had quietly dispersed. Only Xiao Chan held a lamp into the hall, flanked by the eight sturdy women guarding, leading Hong Yuan and the seven into the hall.
This main hall was extremely spacious, with the ceiling nearly twenty feet high. At the innermost top was a high platform as tall as a person, with three sides hung with bronze mirrors carved with strange patterns.
At this moment, seven people sat on the huge high platform. Six hid behind hanging curtains, vaguely visible, hard to discern clearly. Only the one in the middle had no curtain, sitting boldly like a golden knife.
In the hall, Yang Lie, the hook-nosed youth, and others stood with heads bowed submissively, not moving.
The newcomers entering the hall, even Hong Yuan looking toward the high platform at this moment, though dazzled by the reflected light from the bronze mirrors, all gaped, completely stunned.
What kind of person was this?
This was damn a pig!
No, in this era, even getting a pig this fat would be extremely difficult.
Though seven on the high platform, the one in the middle took up space equivalent to three.
This was an old woman about fifty or sixty, her big face piled with horizontal flesh, eyes sunk in layers of fat, squinting out vicious gazes.
The chair beneath her was enormous, adorned with all sorts of jewels. Rather than sitting on it, she slumped on it, the whole person like a mountain of flesh.
Yet she wore luxurious cloud brocade, covered in jade and gold beads, even her tree stump-like wrists wore more than one gold ring!
Hong Yuan didn’t know others’ feelings, but he was nearly nauseous.
This flesh mountain of an old woman, just sitting on the chair, kept ‘huffing and puffing’ from her throat, making hoarse bellows-like sounds.
She coughed sharply, and immediately two in colorful dress leaped out.
Actually, these two had always been on the high platform, standing behind the old woman, but blocked by the flesh mountain, so even Hong Yuan hadn’t noticed them at first.
Now he looked once, then again, no longer just nauseous but wanting to gouge out his own eyes.
Originally thought these colorful dress ones were servant women, but now realized they were two powdered and rouged men in female attire. Even in such mismatched dress, their original looks were quite handsome.
One smoothed the fat woman’s chest to help her breathe—god knows if he could find it… The other half-squatted, head raised, extremely obedient.
I f**k…
These young men!
The fat woman finally coughed out the thing stuck in her throat, her big hand pulling the approaching colorful dress man.
The colorful dress man’s body trembled, legs already weak.
Hong Yuan wasn’t without manners, but now he really wanted to curse. Unable to watch, he suddenly averted his eyes to the lightly shuddering, head-lowered, eyes-closed Yang Lie.
Got it! All understood!
‘Brother Yang, you’re the real hero!’
No wonder Yang Lie, tall and sturdy, had dark circles under his eyes like he hadn’t slept. He’d be damned if he could sleep well.
Hong Yuan suddenly thought of Liaozhai and various strange tales, many about scholars, youths, warriors, merchants who by chance entered immortal realms, met immortal maidens, and had spring nights.
From a modern view, some interpreted it as: what immortal realm, immortal maidens—just lonely noblewomen in deep manors playing tricks, pretending to be gods to seduce men.
This situation, how similar?
Hong Yuan had guessed cultivators, suspected the Biwu Immortal Realm was mountain demons at work, but now it seemed just an illusory immortal realm built on power and vast wealth.
Actually, by this era’s understanding, maybe not illusory. To ordinary people, what’s the difference between these nobles and gods in immortal realms?
Even in Hong Yuan’s previous life’s ancient times, to people then: temple ones were seated city gods, county magistrates standing city gods, jinshi scholars and top scholars were descended Wenqu stars, emperor the son of heaven…
All sacred, no mortals!
“Urgh!”
Finally, someone beside couldn’t hold back a dry heave!
The fat woman, served by a colorful dress man wiping her mouth, slanted a vicious little eye, and immediately a sturdy woman pounced forward, thick palm pinching the retcher’s nape like an eagle grabbing a chick, dragging back.
The man coughed loudly, struggling fiercely. The sturdy woman’s free hand balled into a fist, smashing down ruthlessly, one punch to the temple.
The man’s body convulsed, instantly going limp as mud.
The sturdy woman snorted coldly, arm extending to clamp him under her armpit and drag him out of the hall.
Hong Yuan’s pupils shrank slightly.
The others were silenced like cicadas in winter.
Another sturdy woman slammed her quarterstaff hard on the ground, booming as she sternly said, “Before the Mother of Virtue and Power’s presence, how dare you be impudent? Everyone, heads down, no staring at the Mother’s holy visage.”
The ‘Mother of Virtue and Power’ waved her fat big hand, her squinted eyes looking down from above over the crowd, nodding. “This time the Immortal Realm recruits fresh immortal seedlings. This seat takes only two as inner disciples…”
She spread her big hand, a fat finger pointing at Hong Yuan and Wang Ai, rasping a laugh. “These two enter my tutelage to cultivate immortal methods. The rest immortal seedlings, divide among yourselves.”
This book’s genre actually wanted wuxia, but with sorcery elements, didn’t select it. Don’t be misled by the title; I really didn’t know what to name it!
After the lesson, I deeply realized high power levels are too abstract, not easily controlled. One day, I suddenly saw a clip from that Iron Horse movie, then spent two days rewatching old wuxia films. I was once obsessed with these, later forgot, but now suddenly felt again the beauty of strength from the ground, fists and feet coming, blades clashing—not lightness skill floating in the sky endlessly, but stepping a wall to rise and borrow force! Fist and foot kung fu not one punch with qi boiling, killing across the universe!
So volume one is hundred-man foe. A hundred-man foe is already very strong, superhuman! Could Xiang Yu single-handedly, no horse no armor, foe a hundred?
