Chapter 165: Bruce: Superman, Don’t Contact Me Anymore!
“Bang~”
The crystal wine glass in Lucifer’s hand smashed onto the marble bar, amber liquid splashing onto his custom-made suit worth tens of thousands, but he remained oblivious.
One could imagine how unsettled he was internally.
“Some people are about to get another dad~”
The female bartender’s voice was not loud.
However, it still made Lucifer feel as if his heart had been struck by a heavy hammer.
This was undoubtedly the greatest hurt he had ever sustained since birth.
“No, it’s absolutely impossible, Mom wouldn’t do such a thing!” Lucifer’s words were more like self-comfort. He hadn’t been this flustered even when he was kicked out of Heaven back then.
“Oh, Lucifer, you still don’t understand women, do you?”
“Your mother is very eager for revenge on God, revenge on you…”
“And this is truly a plan to kill two birds with one stone. When your mother gives birth to a younger brother or sister for you to raise, I hope you can still remain optimistic.”
The female bartender, Maizi, had finished filming the footage and was now slowly wiping a glass cup. Her face was full of longing for a good show, her eyes sparkling with the schadenfreude unique to demons.
This round.
Lucifer could no longer sit still.
It was like his backside was burning hot on the chair.
He jolted up in shock, stiff as a board.
“Shut up! Shut up!” Lucifer suddenly stood up, knocking over the leather high stool, which hit the ground with a dull thud. If the demons in Hell saw him like this, it would certainly provide a thousand years’ worth of laughter for the future – the mighty Satan, flustered and at a loss because he might get a stepfather.
“Alright, keep deceiving yourself. I’ll bet five hundred pure souls it’ll be a little girl.” Maizi shrugged and slung the rag over her shoulder.
Every word she spoke was a critical blow to Lucifer. The King of Hell, Lucifer, froze in place, his handsome face contorted into an expression no human could possibly make.
“I have to find her! I have to send her back! At least I have to stop her from going mad!” Lucifer grabbed his suit jacket, his movements so abrupt that he almost overturned the bar.
He rushed straight outside.
“Don’t forget to take a family photo~”
Maizi raised her glass and laughed heartily at his panicked back. It was one thing that she was very loyal to Lucifer, but it was another thing to find him so spooked that she felt amused.
Ten minutes later.
On the streets of Los Angeles.
A black convertible sports car sped at a speed that broke the speedometer.
“Metropolis, metropolis…” Lucifer held the steering wheel with one hand, while the other frantically swiped across his mobile phone screen. News alerts from all over America scrolled down his vision like a waterfall.
【Gang War in the East District Results in Mysterious Female Corpse】
【St. Mary’s Hospital Admits Special Comatose Patient】
【Suspected Supernatural Phenomenon Appears in City Center.】
“Damn it!”
Lucifer slammed the steering wheel, stomped on the accelerator, feeling a sense of urgency as if every second counted – this skin could barely contain his great power, which was why Sam’s skin seemed so special.
Coincidentally.
The car’s stereo suddenly played a song called 《Before He Cheats》.
Guess what? I’mma be fine.
I’mma make sure he never sees me cry.
I made up my mind.
I’m gonna show him tonight.
It’s a revenge, plain and simple.
I’mma do it right.
……
“The person singing this song should go to Hell!”
The song’s rhythm was very upbeat, but the lyrics, tapping along with the beat, struck Lucifer’s little heart. He angrily turned off the stereo, almost ripping the entire radio out.
He floored the accelerator again, the car shooting out like a bullet.
And at this moment.
“Screech—”
Amidst the piercing screech of brakes.
A police motorcycle blocked the sports car.
The traffic police officer stopped the King of Hell for his traffic violations.
“Sir, you were speeding.”
The officer chewed on his gum, not having much desire for performance metrics.
“Officer, you have no idea what you’re doing.” Lucifer suppressed his impatience, his fingers nearly striking sparks on the steering wheel, his tone full of ill will.
“Every minute you waste here, my mother might give birth to another litter of younger brothers for me.” It’s unclear what kind of creature Lucifer’s mother was in his mind.
The traffic police officer paused for a moment.
He tried his best to sort out his thoughts.
“I’m sorry, please accept my condolences. I’ve seen similar things on TV about second-generation rich fighting over family inheritance. I must say, 《Inheritance War》 once recorded something similar.”
The traffic police officer had clearly misunderstood.
“This isn’t some melodramatic TV series!” Lucifer frantically tore at his tie, “This is a cosmic crisis! A creation-level disaster! A million times more serious than your human world wars!”
Lucifer was not exaggerating, but mortals, of course, couldn’t understand his words. The traffic police officer blinked in confusion. In the end, he still took out his pen.
“I don’t understand family disputes very well, but your speed exceeded the limit by double, so I still have to issue you a ticket.” Seeing that the officer was about to go through the complicated procedure.
Lucifer laughed in extreme anger.
“Fine, very good, I know what you want.” Lucifer directly grabbed a handful of money and scattered it into the air. While the officer fumbled to catch the money, he slammed on the accelerator.
The sports car roared like a monster, instantly leaving the police officer as a mere speck. Soon, the King of Hell, driving the car he had empowered, arrived at the metropolis.
Inside St. Mary’s Hospital.
Lucifer adjusted his collar, instantly switching to a suave mode. He walked directly to the nurse station, displaying his signature smile, the kind that could make a woman’s heart race instantly.
“Good afternoon, miss. I need your help with something.” The Demon King winked at the blonde nurse at the station, who immediately hurried over, blushing and with her heart pounding.
“I heard a special comatose patient was admitted this morning? The one brought in from the gang shootout? I’m her family, so I’d like to see her briefly.”
Lucifer never lied, so his words were all true. The demon’s eyes held the power to entice humanity’s original sins, causing the nurse’s reason to evaporate instantly.
She stared at Lucifer like a lovesick fan, not bothering to verify any identity information or go through the procedures. All she felt was the urge to sleep with Lucifer and primal desire.
“She’s… in the intensive care unit, but that’s not a place you can just enter freely.” The nurse became smitten, her voice as sweet as it could be.
“Just a peek, sweetie.” Lucifer gently took her hand, and a diamond ring magically appeared on her ring finger, after which he obtained more useful information.
And the access card.
Five minutes later, when the nurse dizzily regained her senses, she couldn’t remember anything. Only an inexplicable feeling of loss gnawed at her heart.
The kind of feeling that makes one realize it’s time to change their underwear.
Meanwhile.
Lucifer tidied his suit and strode into the intensive care unit.
“Sir! You’re not allowed here—” several medical staff tried to stop the mysteriously appearing Lucifer, but he merely glanced at them, and they froze as if time had stopped.
Time seemed to have paused. The doctors’ expressions were frozen in shock. As Lucifer walked past them, they collapsed to the ground like rag dolls with their bones removed.
Like scarecrows blown down by the wind, they fell with a dull “thud.”
Although the skin Lucifer was wearing wasn’t a perfect fit, he could still use some of his power. If he used too much, his skin might tear, and he would turn into a bouncing bomb like Ian.
“Sorry.”
Lucifer casually stepped over the sprawled bodies.
“I don’t have time to play hide-and-seek with you today.” The electronic beeps of the monitors were exceptionally jarring in the silence. In the silent intensive care unit, Lucifer searched everywhere.
“Not this one, not this one. This person clearly failed her breast augmentation, she’s poisoned by silicone. Get out of the way too.” Lucifer searched for his target.
Finally, he found the comatose patient admitted that morning.
He stood by the hospital bed, his expression complicated as he stared at the sleeping woman on the bedding—the woman entangled with various tubes. Her chest rose and fell faintly, and a gruesome scar from a healed bullet wound remained on half of her cheek. The Demon King’s long fingers flickered in front of her forehead, but after a flash of golden light, there was no reaction.
This caught Lucifer by surprise.
His pupils dilated slightly.
“Mom isn’t in here.” Lucifer irritably ran a hand through his hair. Although his omniscience couldn’t locate his mother, he could at least confirm that this shell was empty.
His omniscient halo was like a broken radar now, only catching a blinding blankness. It was normal, after all, he was trying to probe his own mother.
Something that existed before the concept of omniscience and omnipotence was born.
“What on earth is she up to…” Lucifer let his hands fall to his sides, a conspiracy theory surfacing in his mind. He knew very well how much trouble his mother could cause.
“What does Mom want to do?” Lucifer wasn’t just worried about getting a stepfather; he knew that every move his mother made would have a purpose. As a former Creation Goddess, her wisdom and power were unparalleled. Her escape this time must hide a deeper plan.
At this moment.
Lucifer thought of his mother’s resentment towards God. In Heaven, she had been one of the most respected beings, but she was ultimately imprisoned in Hell, which was undoubtedly a huge blow to her dignity.
“Revenge” was the first keyword. His mother might wish to retaliate against God in some way, perhaps by disrupting the cosmic balance or directly challenging God’s authority.
Regardless, having been a guard and remaining indifferent to his mother’s imprisonment, even taking pleasure in it, he would surely be a target of revenge, just as Maizi had said.
The more he thought about it, the more uneasy Lucifer became. Lucifer also suffered from paranoia. The DC Universe was a giant mental hospital. Lucifer even considered more far-reaching possibilities.
Was his mother executing some plan for God or Michael? After all, her escape was too “coincidental,” as if a higher power was pushing it forward.
It definitely wasn’t because of Ian; Ian couldn’t release his mother… Besides himself, only God himself could undo the ban God had placed on his wife.
This made Lucifer unable to help but overthink. Just as Lucifer felt he was about to be targeted again, a familiar shiver ran up his spine to the crown of his head.
It was a special kind of gaze.
“Samael~”
A similarly special voice seemed to echo in Lucifer’s ear, a voice that had existed since the dawn of creation. After many years, it was the first time it had actively communicated with Lucifer.
Information that no third person could know was being communicated. The clamor of the ICU monitors seemed to fade away at this moment, and the world seemed to contain only the voice lingering in his ear.
“Heh heh, you remember me now?”
Lucifer suddenly let out a cold laugh at the empty air. He was indeed responding to some voice.
“No, I don’t agree! You won’t control me anymore!”
“Damn it! No! You’re lying!” Lucifer suddenly covered his ears, his face instantly turning pale, his pupils dilating wildly, and his mouth twitching uncontrollably.
“Yes! You’re lying!”
The King of Hell’s eyes turned blood red, as if the voice had revealed something that made him extremely uneasy. The temperature in the ICU plummeted, and the white mist he exhaled condensed before his eyes. A layer of ice crystals formed on the surface of the IV bags of the critically ill patients, and several unconscious medical staff curled up unconsciously.
Suddenly.
Lucifer’s shirt tore without warning from his back—a pair of flawless white wings violently unfurled, immense and divine, each feather shimmering with a faint radiance.
The wings of a Messenger of Light were the purest wings in Heaven.
Not just a symbol of identity.
But also the key to being able to wield certain authority in the Human World.
The next moment.
A gust of wind swept through the entire ward, medical equipment toppled over, and Lucifer’s figure disappeared into the air, leaving no trace of his entry. When the medical staff slowly woke up, they only saw a few white feathers slowly drifting down, dissolving into fine golden light the moment they touched the ground.
Meanwhile.
On the top floor of a skyscraper in another part of the city, Ian’s mother—Lois Kent—was in her spacious and discreet office, receiving an unexpected visitor.
Lucifer hovered outside the glass curtain wall, his eyes piercing through the opaque glass to see clearly. In the conference room, Lois Lane was pouring tea for a blonde female lawyer. The lawyer sat with posture so upright it was almost rigid, a perfect 45-degree smile on her lips—Charlotte Richards.
One of America’s most famous devil’s advocates.
“Ms. Richards, are you truly willing to hand over the evidence of the Joker Gang’s crimes to me?” Lois pushed the teacup over, her fingers trembling slightly with excitement and eagerness.
When she received the mysterious call this morning, she thought it was a prank from some bored individual. Even now, she still found it hard to believe such momentous news would come to her.
Her house had been blown up several times.
Surely, God was about to bestow good fortune?
“Yes, yes, criminal evidence, of course, no problem.” Charlotte’s smile widened slightly. She smiled like a robot learning to smile.
“Not just the Joker Gang, I have criminal evidence against many criminal organizations… God knows why humans can’t be cleaner when they do bad things.”
“Oh, I mean we humans, yes, we humans.” Charlotte Richards quickly corrected her wording, her tone having a strange flatness.
Fortunately, Lois didn’t notice the odd phrasing when the other woman said “you humans.”
She was already dizzy from this sudden exclusive scoop.
Lois was an experienced investigative reporter who had exposed countless dark secrets, but this was the first time she had encountered a prominent lawyer actively coming to her with evidence.
Had she suddenly awakened and decided to turn over a new leaf? Although perplexed, Lois didn’t ask. Reporters just needed to get the news, not understand why others provided it.
That was an unspoken rule of the industry.
“Thank you, madam, thank you for your contribution to society, and thank you for your trust in me. I will definitely apply for the most proper special protection for you.” This was undoubtedly the most powerful assurance, even more so than that of special forces. Just as Lois reached for the document bag.
“Wait.”
Charlotte suddenly stopped her hand.
“This is a transaction.”
A glint of gold flashed in the female lawyer’s eyes.
“You need to agree to one thing for me.”
She began to reveal her true intentions.
The female lawyer’s tone carried a condescending superiority, as if she were not speaking to a mortal, but looking down on a swarm of ants.
Lois frowned slightly.
But she maintained her professional smile.
“Do you have any other concerns? Don’t worry, retaliation from the gangs won’t be a problem. Perhaps you’ve already investigated; I’ve never failed in protecting witnesses.”
Lois’s hand hung in mid-air. She was eager to receive the evidence. However, due to the other party’s sudden interruption, she thought she had guessed the reason for the hesitation.
However.
“No, I’m not worried about that, I just want you…” Charlotte was about to speak when the conference room door was violently pushed open. Lucifer, out of breath, charged towards Charlotte.
His suit was disheveled, his tie askew. He rushed to Charlotte in three steps, grabbed her wrist, and without a word, dragged her along.
“Excuse me, we have something to discuss.”
Lucifer tried his best to maintain his elegant demeanor, but his family’s unspeakable matters could not be revealed. Lois stared, dumbfounded, as the stranger dragged her interviewee into the restroom.
Before the door closed.
She vaguely heard the female lawyer say.
“Hi, long time no see, my son.”
Charlotte was also surprised by Lucifer’s appearance. She watched as Lucifer locked the door and then walked to the sink, turning on all the faucets.
“Put away your hypocrisy, Mom.”
Lucifer scrutinized the Creation Goddess occupying the human body with distrust.
He could, of course, see her true nature, so his voice was low and dangerous, his shadow twisting into the shape of a demon on the wall.
“Oh? Hypocrisy?” Charlotte, or rather, the Creation Goddess occupying this body, tilted her head. This overly girlish gesture looked exceptionally horrifying on an elite lawyer.
At least, that’s how it seemed to Lucifer. Charlotte looked at him, a familiar smile gracing her lips, her tone so gentle it made Lucifer’s scalp tingle.
“You’re approaching Superman’s wife, you must want to kill Lois, make Superman blacken, and thus destroy the world, right?” Lucifer’s gaze swept over Charlotte.
His eyes held vigilance, anger, and a trace of indescribable complex emotions.
“It seems you still don’t understand me enough.”
Charlotte sighed softly, her tone laced with a hint of grievance, “That’s right, after so many years, you haven’t even visited me once, and you even sent your henchman to torment me.”
There was no anger in her voice, but rather a hint of resentment, like a mother who had been neglected by her son for years finally seeing him, only to be met with indifference and suspicion.
This made Lucifer even more uneasy.
“No! Don’t be so friendly!” he almost shouted, “You must have a trick up your sleeve!”
“Yes, I certainly have a trick up my sleeve,” Charlotte admitted frankly, even with a hint of pride. “I am the world’s first goddess; your intelligence comes from me as well.”
Lucifer became happy upon hearing this.
“Very well, what do you want to do? What are you doing with the criminal evidence you provided to Lois? Don’t tell me the Creation Goddess suddenly wants to be a messenger of justice.”
He rubbed his hands together, his mind constantly conjuring up the super conspiracy his mother might be planning. Her answer made him feel like things were returning to his control and expectations.
Lucifer still firmly believed in his conspiracy theory.
The air in the restroom was subtly charged.
Lucifer’s back was against the tiled wall. The cold sensation seeped through his shirt but couldn’t extinguish the bulging veins on his temples. Charlotte—or rather, his Creation Goddess mother—was currently standing by the sink, adjusting the neckline of this human body in the mirror, her fingers seductively sliding over her collarbone.
“My plan is flawless,” Charlotte’s lips curved into a chilling arc, while the reflection in the mirror maintained the “perfect” smile expected of an elite lawyer.
However, the deliberate imitation made her smile somewhat similar to 【 Weibo Xiaoting562】, the kind of eerie thing that normal people wouldn’t dare to search for.
“I am the world’s first goddess; my messenger of light, your intelligence also comes from me,” Charlotte admitted frankly, even with a hint of pride, making Lucifer’s eyelids twitch.
“Very well, then what do you want to do?” Lucifer gritted his teeth, even starting to worry that his relationship with the detective lady might change due to his mother’s appearance.
“Son, don’t you understand? My goal is very simple,” Charlotte gave a mysterious smile. “I need to become good friends with that woman outside, and then…”
She paused deliberately, her eyes filled with anticipation.
“And then you will use this to carry out your grand plan to destroy the multiverse,” Lucifer immediately replied, his tone full of sarcasm.
“Of course not.”
Charlotte rolled her eyes, looking at her mentally ill son with suspicion before speaking, “I just want her to order Ian Kent to sleep with me.”
The Creation Goddess’s high heels tapped out a crisp rhythm on the floor tiles. She extended a finger coated in nude nail polish and drew a glowing flowchart in the air.
“First, I need to become good friends with that human woman outside… This way, she will help me order Ian Kent. Apart from you, normal little boys definitely can’t refuse their mother’s orders.” Charlotte felt her plan was brilliant. She seemed to have an excessive honesty.
“This woman has a great figure. Perhaps I can try sleeping with Ian Kent’s mother first—I’ve already found out that human women control the world by sleeping with others.” The goddess proudly puffed out her chest, the buttons on her lawyer suit groaning under the strain.
Lucifer’s expression was like being stuffed with a mouth full of Michael’s saliva-soaked lemons. He stood pressed against the wall in utter horror, watching his Creation Goddess mother start to touch the butt of this human body.
She even squeezed her chest on the spot, making Lucifer wish he’d never touched this part of humans in his life and just covered his eyes.
“Stop! Stop! The last thing I want to see is you discussing this topic with me! This is simply a nightmare! It’s hell! It’s like I’ve returned to hell!”
Lucifer’s voice was very, very loud.
He truly hadn’t expected this.
The damned old man was right.
Mom’s evil conspiracy was actually such an absurd thing!
This was even harder for Lucifer, who was three years old at heart, to accept than her saying she would destroy the universe!
An eerie silence permeated the air. Fragments of shattered mirror floated in mid-air, each reflecting Charlotte’s expression as she looked at her new body with interest.
Suddenly.
“Knock, knock, knock~”
Three hesitant knocks came from outside the door.
“Um… First Goddess, and Messenger of Light, and all that… Since you’re so powerful, you should know I’m still outside with my ear pressed to the door, listening, right?”
Lois’s voice came through the door.
Her peculiar tone was even more peculiar than the strange atmosphere inside the restroom.
…
On the stubborn old site of the Kent family home.
The wooden house, which had been warm for another day, was now just a pile of smoking, charred wooden beams. Clark Kent stood before the ruins, the throbbing of his temples no less intense than Lucifer’s.
“So let me get this straight, you’re saying that while I wasn’t paying attention, you went to hell for a spin, not only did you gain seniority from Bruce, but you also encountered some messy romance?” Clark’s temples danced wildly on either side of his head.
His expression was indescribably odd.
He stared intently at the youth in front of him, “You originally just wanted to be friendly fellow patients with a super goddess, but that super goddess has a tendency to want to be bedmates with you?”
Superman’s mind was actually very strong; he had already built strong psychological defenses, but after hearing Ian’s 【 Hell Adventure 】, he still felt his defenses weren’t enough.
“Yes, that’s how it is. I didn’t want this to happen, but that super goddess seems to think she can recapture the taste of first love with me.”
“It’s all my damned charm,” Ian also regretted it immensely. He had indeed sensed something was wrong and fled. The Dark Lady’s previous comment about him having the aura of a young god was probably the key issue.
“So the current situation is…” Clark mechanically repeated, “This goddess is looking for you all over the world, and you suspect this is a warning from her ex-husband?”
It was hard to imagine such a soap opera plot occurring in real life.
Clark had faced countless crises in his life—General Zod, Doomsday, Darkseid—but none had made the Man of Steel feel as strange as he did now.
“Most likely?”
Ian guiltily kicked at the charcoal at his feet. A normal gas leak explosion wouldn’t create such perfect ruins, let alone the fact that their new home hadn’t even been connected to gas yet. A gust of wind swept up a few burnt 《 Daily Planet 》 pages—Lois’s treasured Pulitzer Prize feature articles.
No one knew if this was another omen.
“Is this super goddess’s husband a super male god too?” Superman’s signature gentle voice now sounded as if irradiated by Kryptonite, or as if subjected to some weak and powerless negative influence.
There was no way.
He could tell from Ian’s reaction that Ian was also flustered, an emotion that had never appeared even when Ian caused so much trouble before.
Clark wanted to know exactly how big a mess Ian had gotten himself into. Ian hesitated, not daring to be too direct, so he used an indirect expression.
“Let’s put it this way. Dad, have you heard of Catholicism, Christianity?” Ian’s Adam’s apple bobbed. He lowered his head to study the tips of his shoes, his voice as quiet as a mosquito’s buzz.
Clark suddenly felt that the Kryptonian’s super hearing might be malfunctioning.
It had to be!
Just then.
Under Clark’s increasingly wide eyes.
Ian continued to speak to the ground, “If my chastity isn’t preserved, Dad, your seniority in these religions will truly become… very, very high.”
He was trying his best to make his voice sound steady and to think positively. However, even if his meaning wasn’t clear, Clark’s super brain was working unusually hard.
A strange silence.
The crickets in the green belt seemed to fall silent collectively. On the distant highway, a passing pickup truck suddenly blew a tire, and the driver’s grumbling voice was particularly clear in the silence.
“????????”
A bead of cold sweat trickled down Clark’s temple.
Then a second.
A third.
One drop after another.
Time passed, and he didn’t know how long.
Clark swallowed.
He silently took out his phone.
The dialing speed was so fast that the human eye couldn’t capture it.
“Clark, what’s wrong?”
Bruce Wayne’s voice answered from Gotham. Bruce Wayne was in the Batcave calibrating a new wheelchair, with Alfred in the background marveling at how Bruce’s wheelchair was faster than a sports car.
“Bruce, I’ve run into a bit of a problem.”
Clark had no time to worry about the hundred-kilometer acceleration of Batman’s wheelchair.
“It’s a truly significant problem. Just in case, I want to ask if you, with your vast abilities, could create something special.”
His voice was chillingly calm.
“Take your time, don’t rush, what problem did you encounter?” Bruce Wayne’s voice sounded surprised; he had never heard Clark’s voice tremble like this before. On the other end of the line, Bruce Wayne’s breathing came through the Batcave’s sophisticated communication equipment, as clear as if he were right beside him.
“Bruce, do you think you could…” Clark took a deep breath, a monumental request for Superman, “Could you invent a new universe for my family and me to move into?”
He knew how absurd his request was.
But what could Superman do?
He was just an ordinary Superman!
There was a three-second silence on the other end of the line.
“Clark,” Bruce’s voice, rarely, carried a hint of hesitation and a touch of realization. “It seems you’ve finally lost it too?”
Batman clearly had a very specific judgment about the Kent family.
“The situation is this…” Superman said with a wry smile, looking at Ian, who was squatting by the charred doorframe drawing circles. His youngest son was doing some graffiti in the ruins with charcoal.
At a glance, it looked like he was writing a letter of apology.
Clark described Ian’s current predicament in the briefest language possible, not daring to tell Bruce Wayne about encountering the King of Hell in hell.
After all, he still needed Bruce Wayne’s wisdom. How could Superman let Bruce Wayne know who Ian had tricked? He only mentioned Ian’s “mad suitor.”
A “click” sound came from the communication channel, likely due to a mistake in Batman’s operation.
“If you weren’t calling me, I’d think it was April Fools’ Day,” Bruce was also stunned. After a long silence, he offered his suggestion.
“The best course of action right now is,” Bruce paused for a full five seconds before stating his idea, “Clark, I think we shouldn’t contact each other anymore.”
Clark’s blue eyes widened slightly.
“Bruce~ Honestly, I don’t think this is something Ian intentionally provoked.” His tone became increasingly helpless as he continued to defend his youngest son.
In fact, it wasn’t Ian’s intention to cause trouble.
“I’m being very serious right now,” Batman’s voice returned to calm. “Based on your description, maintaining distance from the Kent family is the most rational choice.”
“I will rearrange the Justice League’s duty roster. Of course, the fact that you are still alive means the other party doesn’t want to resort to extremes. Therefore, the most feasible plan is to have Ian undergo an ‘infallible’ surgery. His own company has the latest developed medical equipment,” Bruce’s voice carried Batman’s signature cold rationality.
“It’s useless,” Ian squeezed his head in front of the communicator, with a hint of regret. “I’m too strong; this kind of surgery would probably just make my body adapt to the environment.”
“Mine will only get longer the more it’s cut. This is also because my body has always been considerate of me; it would think I was dissatisfied with the original length.” Ian’s words silenced Bruce again.
Just then.
Clark’s phone suddenly rang with an unfamiliar ringtone, clearly a new number calling in. Reporters usually chose dual-SIM phones.
Ian returned the phone to his father.
“The work schedule for the second half of the year has probably been finalized.” Superman looked at the caller ID from his boss, hesitated, and decided to still attend to work at this time.
He answered the phone.
After a series of responses: “Okay, okay, fine, but, alright, I accept,” Superman hung up the phone, but his expression and demeanor had become somewhat unpleasant.
“What’s wrong?”
Ian quickly asked.
“The editor-in-chief wants me to go to Africa to interview wild elephants…” Clark looked up at the sky, where a cloud shaped like an elephant was drifting by.
“I hope it’s really just an interview with elephants.”
Clark sighed, not daring to suspect anything unusual.
He suddenly missed the simple days when he only had to deal with Doomsday. At least back then, he didn’t have to worry about absurd family issues like “my future daughter-in-law might be a divorced Creation Goddess.”
“Damn it,” Ian felt a pang of discomfort. He kicked a piece of charred charcoal, utterly speechless. He was clearly the victim, targeted by an old woman since he was fourteen.
“You go to school first, and we’ll think of a solution later.”
Clark glanced at his watch.
He paused and added, “Don’t get too close to your female classmates. Based on the power you described for that super goddess, she might possess any girl you are familiar with.”
This was definitely super intelligence at work.
Superman activated his super intelligence when encountering danger.
“I still have to go to school for this… Alright, I’ve always been pure. For my first time, I’ve only ever wanted to give it to a girl who is eighteen but already gentle, beautiful, and full of substance.”
“I know that one day, she will definitely appear in a moment of great expectation, wearing yoga pants, a bodysuit, and rainbow stockings to marry me!” Ian drew out the syllables, his voice loud and clear, as if declaring his orientation to God, hoping God wouldn’t worry about him being indiscriminate.
God did not respond.
On the street, only the sound of his father flying off to work could be heard. Ian burned a few more handwritten apology letters and promises, which miraculously turned into golden light and flew towards the sky.
However.
Neither God’s voice nor any hint appeared. Unable to help himself, Ian checked the time and had to go to school for now, entrusting his super brain to think of a countermeasure during school hours.
At school.
The other students were full of energy.
Ian, on the other hand, was dejected.
He rested his chin on his desk, staring blankly at the Christmas countdown on the blackboard—”12 days until Christmas”—with a crooked Santa Claus drawn next to the chalk writing.
“Hey, Ian, why do you look like a squirrel that’s been struck by lightning today?” his deskmate Madison poked his arm with a pencil. “Didn’t this morning’s explosion at your house, which happens like clockwork, wake you up yet?”
She seemed to know all about the explosions that always occurred before dawn at Ian’s house lately. The witch-like girl with no wrinkles in her brain thought it might be Ian’s special alarm clock that he was addicted to.
“I wish I were dreaming.”
Ian replied weakly.
“Oh, by the way, a strange woman was looking for you this morning.”
Madison suddenly leaned in conspiratorially.
Upon hearing this.
Ian’s back instantly tensed, and the desk let out a creaking cry.
“Wh-what kind of woman?” His voice suddenly rose an octave, causing classmates in the front row to turn around.
Madison took out a strawberry-flavored lipstick and slowly applied it, deliberately drawing out her tone: “It’s a demon who has risen from the dead. Is that your mistress in Hell, Ian?”
That was really hitting below the belt.
Ian suddenly covered her mouth.
“Don’t talk nonsense! That’s my most beloved Auntie! An Auntie for life!” His voice was very firm, and Madison rolled her eyes, muffled.
The maiden gasped for air after breaking free.
“What’s wrong with you?”
She sensed that Ian’s mental state was a bit uneasy.
Ian didn’t answer, just propped up his small face and sighed. After a long while, under Madison’s repeated questioning, he asked her a philosophical question.
“If a boy offends a petty Creator, how can this boy salvage his image?” Ian stared at his panel.
Fortunately, the position of key NPC hadn’t been revoked yet.
“I get it, so that’s how it is. The solution is very simple!”
Madison’s blue eyes lit up instantly. She “swished” and tore off a sheet of homework paper, writing a line of large characters with a flourish, and then “slapped” it onto Ian’s face.
“You have a way?”
Ian’s eyes glanced over.
The next moment, he was stunned.
He froze like a frog struck by lightning.
Only then.
The paper clearly read 【God is dead, Ian shall reign】.
“Ian, why don’t we rebel? Tonight I’ll go find the tight-lipped Old Stone Mason and carve hundreds of these glowing stone tablets to hide in your factory, waiting for the angels to find them.”
Madison was still talking eloquently.
Perhaps.
Ian’s audacity and Super Intelligence were just fake Mythology.
Madison.
This Witch, also fourteen years old.
She was the real idea generator and god of audacity in this World.
