Chapter 90: Can I Really Not Go To Arkham?
When Batman is not panicking.
Most likely, the only one panicking would be Superman.
“We’re doomed!”
Ian has super hearing.
At least when he perks up his ears, he really does.
So the sound of Superman choking on his overtime coffee from the other end of the phone was something Ian could hear very clearly—he had already started climbing out the window to temporarily run away from home for a few hours.
Taking his little savings jar with him, then bravely venturing into the world. With this move, Ian felt truly wronged; the evil capitalist was splashing dirty water on him.
“Gotham really has no good people!”
Ian’s plan was to take advantage of the opportunity when Clark was also dragged into overtime by the Newspaper Agency due to the 【Batman bravely charging into Metropolis】 incident, and sneak into Grandmother’s bed to hide for a bit.
Unfortunately.
The idea was certainly nice.
But when he pulled back the curtains he had previously closed himself, Ian discovered he could only see a grid of iron bars. It seemed like when Batman had climbed over the wall to come in, he had conveniently sealed this place off as well.
What a cunning Batman.
It could only be said that Ian had his vigilance lowered a bit by Bruce Wayne’s skin.
He thought Master Wayne definitely had a magical bio-electric field too!
Even if Master Wayne could prove he didn’t have one, Ian had to insist that Master Wayne really did! The youth who had been stymied felt that only by thinking this way could he feel a little better.
“Let Ian take the phone.”
This was Clark’s voice from the other end of the phone; Ian’s super hearing was very sharp. He mouthed it to Bruce, and Bruce was indeed a lip-reading expert.
He easily read Ian’s lip movements.
But.
“Your son wants me to help him shift the blame to the Demon, yes, that head. It looks like he’s done this more than once.” But Bruce had no intention of cooperating with Ian.
“Mm, this Demon is quite pitiful; even I have to admit that.”
He walked up to that iron box, opened it, and saw the Demon Head inside still chewing on a pile of toilet paper, sincerely giving a heartfelt evaluation.
“Humans~”
The Demon Head spat out a pile of toilet paper, preparing to scare Bruce badly, but Bruce just plucked one of its cow hairs, then closed the iron box again.
His expression didn’t even change.
“I’m not exaggerating.”
After putting away the hair from the Demonic Minotaur’s head, Bruce also squatted down, chatting with Clark while observing the iron box Ian used to hold the Minotaur’s head.
He seemed to have discovered that this box was a bit suspicious.
“No no no, what I’m discussing with you isn’t laser weapons… so, he has standard-issue laser weapons too, right?” Bruce once again stopped Ian’s attempt to bolt out the door.
“No movement here; your son wanted to slip away, I stopped him… No, I don’t like grabbing people’s necks.” Bruce glanced at Ian, who had been tripped by his invisible rope.
He hadn’t grabbed Ian by the scruff of the neck as Clark had suggested.
“You have a factory?”
Bruce still walked forward and helped Ian up.
Mainly because he noticed that once Ian was on the ground, he started playing dead.
If he didn’t help him up, he was afraid Ian would just fall asleep right there.
“No.”
This Ian really didn’t.
He wanted to ask where he could pick one up.
“It’s the truth.”
Bruce felt slightly relieved.
He continued talking to Clark on the other end of the phone.
“Looks like the book I had Alfred send you, you haven’t read a single word of it?” While solemnly criticizing Clark, he kept a close eye on Ian, who might cause trouble at any moment.
“I’m not running.”
Ian was utterly helpless.
Good news.
The place where Clark was working overtime probably had a lot of people, so he couldn’t come back for now.
Bad news.
Bruce had handcuffed himself and Ian together—there was no other way; Bruce had discovered that Ian’s bull strength was truly enormous, and only this could stop Ian’s “guilty” escape.
Batman was very resourceful.
But the equipment he could bring on a trip out was ultimately limited.
“Since you’ve read it, tell me how he managed to make this kind of thing right under your nose.” While on the call, Bruce still didn’t forget to pick up the miniature reactor and examine it again.
This level of craftsmanship.
Astonished him.
Absolutely not something Earth technology could achieve. For that reason, it wasn’t surprising that Bruce suspected Clark had been secretly teaching the kid how to whip up nuclear reactors in his spare time.
“You don’t know either? Heh.”
Bruce didn’t believe Clark’s words.
“I’ll look for it.”
He was also interested in the laser weapons.
“Where did you hide your laser weapons?” Bruce first checked under the bed but didn’t find any, then questioned Ian while still on the call with Clark.
“What laser weapons? My dad worked overtime so hard he started hallucinating. So yeah, people just shouldn’t work; even Kryptonians can’t handle the pressure from work.”
Ian discovered his teeth were as useless as ever.
That was normal.
After all, the handcuffs had 【Superman exclusive】 written on them; though the handcuffs looked a bit old, even so, Ian really wasn’t a match for Superman in his younger days.
“Your dad says the laser weapon is in the ceiling of his bedroom.” Bruce thanked Ian for the assist; Superman dad had sold out his son at unprecedented speed.
“…”
Ian tasted betrayal for the first time.
And so.
He could only take Bruce to “identify the scene.” Luckily, the corridor was dark, and Jonathan and Jordan were probably asleep; otherwise, there would definitely be three handcuffed boys in this house.
Arriving at his parents’ bedroom.
Bruce immediately locked onto the hiding spot of the laser gun. He just took out what looked like an intelligent grappling hook, opened the ceiling, and retrieved the hidden laser rifle.
He casually handed the manuscript in his hand to Ian and examined the laser rifle.
“This isn’t Kryptonian technology.”
Bruce spotted the anomaly at a glance.
“I never said it was.”
Ian scratched his head with his other hand.
“Interesting, the magazine is also a miniature reactor…” Bruce quickly figured out the structure of the entire gun with hands-on inspection; it was not only a weapon but looked like a piece of artwork.
The overall design had a streamlined shape.
The body was made of lightweight but extremely durable unknown metal.
“This shouldn’t be able to blow up America?”
Ian tentatively asked; he actually couldn’t figure it out—clearly, the big reactor in the Iron Man story could at most blow up Manhattan, so how could a thumb-sized reactor have that much power?
On this question.
Bruce gave the answer directly.
“Your gun and your miniature reactor won’t explode; they’re very stable. But your nuclear energy research base has a chance of exploding, and when it does, we’ll all go up with it.”
He looked at the boy in front of him with scrutinizing and slightly confused eyes.
At first, Bruce suspected Ian had secretly built an extremely advanced base outside behind Superman’s back, one even more equipped and sophisticated than his own secret base.
But now it seemed.
Bruce had already noticed that Ian had that clear-eyed look of someone who hadn’t gone to college.
Since Clark had hung up due to pressure from his superiors, Bruce could only stare at the boy in front of him, trying to analyze what was really going on.
“I don’t have a nuclear weapons research base.”
Ian was stunned by Bruce’s wild imagination.
“I’m the son of a farm boy; our family has been farmers for generations. We got bullied too much, so picking up some self-defense weapons on the street should be reasonable, right?” He knew Bruce wasn’t like his parents, so he didn’t tell the full truth; his super intelligence told him to be extra wary of the man in front of him.
“Mm, very reasonable.”
Bruce nodded.
“But you didn’t tell the truth.”
He suddenly changed tack.
Those deep eyes stared at Ian, making him a bit uneasy.
“Alright, I’ll tell the truth.”
Ian’s super intelligence started signaling again that in life, there are always times for “that said.” So he chose to tell the truth, but not the whole truth.
The writer’s earth-shattering talent came online at full power.
After a bout of explanation.
Bruce Wayne nodded repeatedly as he listened.
“What you’re saying is, on your way home from school, you met a street vendor man that only you could see, who tried to sell you a pair of glasses that could read others’ thoughts and see through things.”
“Due to your pure heart, you resisted the temptation of those glasses, giving up a life of debauchery and chances to flirt with countless types of peerless beauties.”
“So the street vendor man admired you greatly, insisted on taking you as his apprentice, and taught you the universe’s top scientific knowledge. These two trinkets are his test for you?”
Bruce Wayne had a sense of déjà vu like he was reading Ian’s new work.
The corner of his eye twitched a few times.
“Yes, respected teacher Tony Stark, He is the Cosmic Machine God.” Ian nodded firmly, looking like a zealous youth ready to join the party at any moment.
“…”
Bruce couldn’t help rubbing his brow.
“You only told the truth in that last sentence.”
He sighed helplessly.
How to put it—even someone as shrewd as this Gotham master was still fooled by Ian, even if just a little; that was still a win, a big win, a huge win, a mega win.
“I only tell the truth, never lie.”
Ian loved telling little white lies.
He just braced himself as Bruce sized him up for a good while.
“I understand.”
Who knew what Master Wayne understood. He seemed to have a sudden realization and returned the laser gun and miniature reactor in his hand to Ian, who was still brainstorming.
“That’s it?”
Ian was a bit dumbfounded.
“What more do you want?”
Bruce sighed; he really wished Ian were an utterly wicked demon child, but alas, just a demon child without the wickedness—this was definitely the most headache-inducing group for him in middle age.
Bratty child.
“I thought I’d be sent to Arkham.”
Ian let out a long sigh of relief.
He began to be astonished at how overly calm his emotions were.
“Not to that extent yet; after all, you haven’t done anything bad. I was just getting the situation.” For some reason, Bruce’s words left Ian a bit disappointed.
“I remember the door is that way.”
Bruce suddenly put his mask back on.
Batman walked out of the bedroom.
“I really won’t be sent to Arkham?”
Ian chased after him.
“No.”
Batman’s voice grew hoarse again.
“Really not?”
The boy’s tone carried a hint of reluctance.
“Really not.”
Batman sighed speechlessly.
“Fine… Arkham’s beds are too hard; I probably wouldn’t sleep well anyway…” Ian could only console himself like that, his sour tone laced with disappointment.
He had mainly just realized earlier that Arkham was basically heaven for him.
He could hide from dad.
And there were endless chemical reagents; no need for three years east of the river or three years west—he could skyrocket to become a max-level ancestor.
Wouldn’t that be a total win?
“Gotham bans you from entry!”
Batman suddenly became alert at that moment; he still didn’t know why Ian wanted to go to Arkham so badly, but he felt he had to guard against Ian sneaking into his city.
Gotham was chaotic enough now.
It really couldn’t fit another demon child from the Superman family.
“Remember, kid—if I catch you coming to Gotham, I’ll suggest to your dad every day that he beat you at home. I’ll buy the Newspaper Agency where he works and make him send me ten thousand photos of you getting beaten every day!”
This wasn’t Batman.
This was Master Wayne’s money power threat.
“Hiss~”
Ian sucked in a cold breath.
He had been firmly pinned down; with this move, the Metropolis Gambler didn’t dare bet, so no choice—he could only watch Batman slam the door and leave, his cape picking up some muddy water in the light rain.
Moments later.
Batman circled back.
“Forgot the manuscript.”
He snatched the manuscript from Ian’s hand again… Ian guarded the door; Batman couldn’t slam it successfully this time and could only fling his mud-stained cape into the night.
This operation left Ian utterly dumbfounded.
A long while later.
“I get it—he won’t let me into Arkham because he’s afraid I’ll find out he has his own dedicated bed there.” Ian truly didn’t understand Batman’s come-and-go operation.
But that didn’t stop him from seizing the chance to poke at the Gotham Freak.
His mobile phone was upstairs.
Batman definitely couldn’t hear.
Thinking this, Ian closed the door and headed upstairs when he heard heavy breathing, so he accidentally pulled a still-connected mobile phone from his pocket.
“Forgot.”
Ian’s heart skipped a beat.
But.
This didn’t affect his outward calm.
“I told you dual-SIM phones are no good; you’re bound to run into awkward situations like this sometimes…” After saying that, Ian quickly hung up and pressed the power button.
The integrated phone wouldn’t let him remove the battery, but that wouldn’t have much impact, because Ian had decided to throw this phone under his second brother Jordan’s bed every night.
“I’m still so brilliantly wise!”
Ian couldn’t help but marvel. He knew he definitely couldn’t correct Master Wayne’s eavesdropping habit, so all he could do was make sure Master Wayne overheard plenty in one go.
How thoughtful.
His rapport with Master Wayne was sure to grow day by day.
The power ring was in sight.
