Chapter 71: Batman: Listen To Me, Thank You
Ian ultimately overestimated Franklin’s purchasing power, or perhaps he underestimated the economic strength of the group that enjoys role-playing. The money he brought with him only allowed him to buy a low-quality imitation suit.
Of course.
Pinching the plastic Bat darts, tugging at the ill-fitting cloth battle suit on his body, Ian was still full of confidence. He used the night as cover and arrived at a relatively remote public telephone booth.
This kind of communication facility is still everywhere in America, and thanks to his parents’ profession at home and his own excellent memory, Ian had memorized the contact information of many well-known media outlets backwards and forwards.
The first call was of course to the renowned editor-in-chief of the 《Daily Planet》.
“Hello? I’m a concerned citizen.”
He deliberately made his voice sound like an adult’s.
“I saw Batman in Old Town! Yes! It’s him! I swear on my father! If I’m lying, may my father run into a bunch of super villains the moment he steps out!”
“Yes, yes, I always like making vicious oaths, even if it means running into super villains.” Ian ended the first call, then made two, three, four, five, six, seven… a total of eighteen calls.
He didn’t spare the local TV station either.
“Batman! Oh my god! I saw Batman! He’s in Old Town on a date with a woman! I don’t know why he’s out on a date wearing a superhero uniform.”
“Maybe his date has special tastes… Look at how you phrase it—a date of course requires avoiding your own city. Them coming to Metropolis is perfectly reasonable!”
Next.
Another media outlet that particularly likes gossip news.
“Exclusive scoop—can I get the TV submission bonus… I saw Batman coming out of an alley, the kind of place where cheap streetwalkers often hang out.”
“I believe Batman must be in Metropolis on business and stopped by to help those poor women. Specific location? Right in the gathering spot in Old Town where black brothers like to hang out.”
“Gotta go, Batman is walking toward me with his pants up.”
Every media outlet.
Ian chose the kind of news they liked most. He was once a man who had browsed UC Reader and lingered in UC’s shock department, so of course he knew how to seize marketing hot spots. After notifying most of the media he knew, Ian hesitated slightly but still chose to call his reporter mother.
He didn’t want his mother to miss out on the bonus for today’s Batman news. Reporters in Metropolis are very competitive—some of his mother’s news reports were clearly staged with his old father.
“Beep beep beep~”
The call connected.
His mother’s voice came from the other end, asking who it was.
“Lois, it’s me, I’m Batman, your old friend… I’m planning to expand my superhero career to your side of Metropolis tonight.”
Ian lowered his voice, imitating Bruce Wayne’s deep, raspy throat cancer voice perfectly. His 【learning】 talent made it easy for him to pick up many life skills.
But.
“No, I’m not Ian, and I’m not out causing trouble.” To be fair, Ian’s voice had perfectly replicated Batman’s tone.
Yet he still faced strong doubt from the other end of the line.
“I really am Batman—can’t you just believe me for once—damn it, don’t come out! Tonight Batman isn’t going to Old Town; he’s heading back to Gotham overnight!”
“It’s me heading back to Gotham overnight… Hiss, no, I’m not gasping because I got beaten up. I’m just checking if my head has grown pointy.”
“Okay, Mom, I’ll be right back.”
Ian hung up the call with Lois in frustration.
Of course, he wouldn’t choose to go home immediately—”right back” never means immediately, but whenever he gets home, that’s when “right back” ends.
The right to explain is definitely with Ian.
Of course.
Ignoring the right to explain, the right to beat him is with Lois.
“Whatever! To overcome fear, you must become fear itself!” Ian used Batman’s clipped bubble voice and re-entered the role he was playing.
The night in Old Town was also lively.
He didn’t find any robbery.
But that didn’t stop Ian from wearing his shoddy Batmobile battle suit, imitating the running posture of ninjas from 《Naruto》, darting to the rooftops and walls wherever there were crowds.
He was practically afraid others wouldn’t spot him in black at night.
【Job Transfer Mission: Gain sufficient public attention and support（432/100000）】
Facts proved Ian’s thinking was correct; he and his system were still very in sync. After wandering around a bit, his job transfer mission had already made good progress.
The darkness concealed his cheap battle suit, so most people had no doubt about his identity. After all, not every cosplayer can leap seven or eight meters between high-rises to another rooftop, complete with a dozen backflips in mid-air—this even Bruce Wayne himself probably couldn’t do without technology.
“Oh! My god! Batman is here! Has some super terrifying disaster appeared in Metropolis again?”
“Look! He slipped off a fourth-floor rooftop! Didn’t die from the fall! Got up and ran again! It’s Batman! This must be the real Batman!”
“Yeah! Just like everyone says—the one who can’t be killed is Batman!”
……
【Job Transfer Mission: Gain sufficient public attention and support（841/100000）】
【Job Transfer Mission: Gain sufficient public attention and support（1367/100000）】
【Job Transfer Mission: Gain sufficient public attention and support（1842/100000）】
……
While darting around.
Ian of course also handled some trivial matters.
Like drunkards fighting, small-scale gang brawls, and deadbeats who refuse to pay for PCs.
He actually did encounter cases like bank robberies, but Ian was afraid of a Superman vs. Batman scenario, so he pretended not to see them and didn’t dare intervene.
This was for Batman’s reputation—not wanting the world to see Batman getting beaten by Seven Wolves. Fortunately, the arriving media were far friendlier to the “visiting superhero” than to the local hero.
“Helping the elderly! Helping kids! And possibly disabled people who don’t want to cross the street! He even smiled at the camera—is this still the Batman we know?”
“Yes, this is Batman, this is true knight spirit! We’ve all been fooled by Gotham’s peers before! Batman cares more about the underclass than Superman!”
“I see, just like how we like to smear Superman—it seems the news from Gotham can’t be trusted at all. Look at this Batman—does he seem like someone who likes to appear and disappear mysteriously?”
“Batman’s jawline is so handsome!”
“Batman’s clothes look a bit off? Must be my imagination, definitely my imagination! For tonight’s overtime pay! This has to be my imagination!”
……
The local reporters were really quite friendly.
They vividly demonstrated what it means that visiting heroes are still the best.
And with these reporters’ arrival.
【Job Transfer Mission: Gain sufficient public attention and support（3232/100000）】
【Job Transfer Mission: Gain sufficient public attention and support（4331/100000）】
Ian truly experienced the benefits of sufficient fame. If he used the 【Nylon Stockings Superman】 account to fight crime, he couldn’t possibly attract such a huge spectacle.
“Look! The TV station is doing a live stream!” Ian stood on a rooftop, facing the incoming lights, lowering his voice to speak gravely.
“How did you know I came to Metropolis? I don’t need attention—great power comes great responsibility; justice never needs others’ approval.”
Ian muttered a mishmash of lines.
He asked knowing the answer, pretending he was accidentally discovered. To be fair, Ian’s behavior wouldn’t fool Gotham locals— they’d spot the fake at a glance. But who let this be Metropolis? Metropolis citizens aren’t as familiar with Batman as Gothamites.
This is why Ian chose to impersonate Batman instead of stealing his old father’s account. He had considered the gentler Wonder Woman, but his legs really weren’t long enough.
Some people arbitrage products with information asymmetry, while Ian arbitrages hero images with information asymmetry. Reality is always this absurd—he not only succeeded but succeeded big time.
“Click click click~”
The sound of cameras kept going off.
“Does Superman know you’re in Metropolis?”
A busybody shouted loudly.
“I’m here because I saw a negligent Superman. In the corners of Metropolis, many criminals are still active, but Superman? He only focuses on big cases—I’m in Metropolis to tell the world that what Superman ignores, I Batman handle; what Superman doesn’t catch, I Batman catch!”
Ian imitated Batman’s tone, his voice passionate and stirring. “And the criminals Superman dares not kill… uh, I don’t kill either. I always just lock them all up in prison.”
He almost went out of character with that.
Fortunately, he quickly re-immersed in the role.
Countless applause erupted below the high-rise, and perhaps also on the other end of the TV live stream. Anyway, Ian’s attention, recognition, and support were rapidly approaching the mission goal.
【Job Transfer Mission: Gain sufficient public attention and support（34133/100000）】
【Job Transfer Mission: Gain sufficient public attention and support（47568/100000）】
……
With the TV station live streaming, the gains and feedback were truly impressive. Just as Ian was overjoyed, racking his brains to say more resonance-inducing remarks.
“Vroom vroom vroom~!”
A massive engine roar sounded in the sky. A reporter looked up and exclaimed first, “Oh my god! It’s the Batmobile! He really is the real Batman!”
Now, even the sharp-eyed reporters who noticed Ian’s costume anomaly had to believe. After all, who doesn’t know only the real Batman has the Batmobile.
The onlookers instantly boiled over.
Only Ian on the rooftop froze in place.
He knew his “account stealing” couldn’t fool Bruce Wayne, but he hadn’t expected Bruce Wayne to rush over overnight to stop him.
Good news.
The Batmobile was in unmanned mode.
As for the bad news.
“Splat~”
The Batmobile directly airdropped a mobile phone.
Ian pretended not to catch it.
Who knew this phone was even tougher than a Nokia. Though it smashed onto the concrete rooftop, it was unscathed and even auto-connected a call.
Sensing disaster, Ian rushed forward and stomped it hard several times, but couldn’t damage the fallen phone. Just as Ian regretted not bringing his hammer, a male voice that had anticipated his actions and remained extremely calm rang from the other end.
“Kid, what are you doing?”
Very magnetic.
That old Bat flavor was spot on.
〔ps: Tomorrow’s follow-up reading is crucial. Begging big shots to support tomorrow night if possible. If we successfully get Jiangsan, I’ll do 30k+ updates on launch day, with a daily guaranteed 15k.〕
