Chapter 200: Isn’t My Scheme Beautiful?
Yun Ce knew people whose names weren’t very nice-sounding, like Cao Kun, like Peng Zeng, like Liu Changsheng, Wu Tong and such, and women’s names were the same, E Ji, Zhang Min, Hong Niangzi, also not nice-sounding.
But Gui Fang people’s names were very nice-sounding, like Yu Heng, Yu Zhu, Yu Sang, and this damned Lian Cheng Bi right in front of him.
Lian Cheng your mom, Cheng Bi your dad would be one thing, but you actually dared to touch my mutton soup, truly courting death.
Yun Ce’s kick was executed with great skill; it was originally an action designed for him by Doggy, selected according to the principle of the shortest straight line between two points. Doggy knew Yun Ce had no talent for martial arts; before, he had muddled through relying on the strength from Dragon and his thick skin and flesh. Now, after gaining internal breath, doing it this way would make him a laughingstock.
Yun Ce currently had great strength and fast speed; Doggy believed that as long as Yun Ce’s strength was great enough and speed fast enough, he could kill all the enemies in front of him.
Therefore, by simplifying away the extra movements Yun Ce would unconsciously make during movement, and using the most direct way to exert force—that is, activating internal breath to directly exert force, then choosing the nearest attack target—it would be fine.
When Lian Cheng Bi lifted the pot lid, his head tilted toward Yun Ce’s side to avoid the steam, and was also closest to Yun Ce, so Yun Ce’s foot naturally kicked over.
Everyone saw Yun Ce raise his foot and kick Lian Cheng Bi, but no one saw clearly the movements of Yun Ce’s leg in the air; they only saw Yun Ce’s foot heavily kick on Lian Cheng Bi’s head, making a ‘boom’ sound.
This kick was extremely heavy; Lian Cheng Bi’s facial features violently shifted in an instant, his head fiercely slamming into his own left shoulder first, then rapidly bouncing up. Before his head could right itself, Yun Ce’s next foot landed on Lian Cheng Bi’s head again.
The force of the two kicks almost overlapped; only then did Lian Cheng Bi’s head carry his body flying up, crashing with a ‘clang’ into the solid stone wall of the Great Wall watchtower; his armor shattered the moment it contacted the stone wall.
1 Yun Ce stepped forward, raising his leg again to whip Lian Cheng Bi’s abdomen with another kick of great force, forcibly changing the direction of Lian Cheng Bi’s falling body, sending it straight flying toward the second-floor wooden board of the watchtower. With a ‘crack’ sound, one of Lian Cheng Bi’s legs that had been flung up actually smashed the second-floor wooden board, firmly wedging Lian Cheng Bi’s body in it.
1 The crowd looked up at Lian Cheng Bi’s body softly stuck in the floorboard, hands hanging down, head swaying violently like a pendulum, and only then did they deeply inhale and look at Yun Ce, who had just caught the spoon and wooden bowl.
1 All this happened in a flash; the previously lively Lian Cheng Bi became a dead man deader than dead in an instant.
1 Yun Ce replaced the pot lid that Lian Cheng Bi had lifted, then said to Zhao Shu: “It’s still a bit short of done.”
1 Zhao Shu smiled and said: “Since my young friend has given me food, this old man can’t eat for free.”
1 Then Yun Ce saw Zhao Shu, who had been sitting on a wooden stool, spread his arms wide, hands forming claws that at some point had gripped the throats of the armored soldiers sitting on either side of him. His arms retracted, and the two armored soldiers’ bodies swiftly came together, a series of teeth-gritting bone-cracking sounds ringing out. Before the two armored soldiers’ corpses could hit the ground, Zhao Shu waved his large sleeves, flying incessantly like a gray old butterfly in the narrow watchtower.
1 When the last armored soldier drew his blade, Zhao Shu’s fist landed on his forehead; the soldier’s eyeballs immediately flew out from their sockets, wetly landing on the ground. Fledgling Eagle watched greedily, quickly burrowing out from the blanket on the red date horse, and in two bites swallowed those two eyeballs.
1 Yun Ce dragged a corpse over to sit his buttocks on, and said to Zhao Shu who had sat down again: “A famous general of a generation, how did you end up at the point where Gui Fang people can bully you at will?”
1 Zhao Shu smiled and said: “If I didn’t do this, could a hero like you replace the incompetent Liu Che as Jingkou Pass commander?”
1 Yun Ce was about to lift the pot lid and noticed blood on it; looking up, he saw blood dripping down from Lian Cheng Bi’s dangling hand, so he jumped up, yanked Lian Cheng Bi’s corpse out from the floorboard, and casually tossed it out the lookout opening.
2 Zhao Shu also felt the blood on the corpses affected his appetite, leaving only two corpses that had died from internal injuries to serve as stools, and tossed the remaining nine corpses out the lookout opening as well.
2 Yun Ce took out another wooden bowl, filled it full of mutton and handed it to Zhao Shu, saying: “Eat meat first, then soak the flatbread and drink soup. From what you said earlier, it seems there’s some hidden story?”
2 Zhao Shu grabbed a piece of mutton and ate it into his mouth, twirled his tongue once, turned his head and spat out a mutton bone from the lookout opening, then said to Yun Ce with a hint of sigh: “The Great Wall garrison has long been rotten through; Iron Enclosure Pass has long lost its former might, and the Gui Fang people are eyeing it covetously. If this old man didn’t think of a way, when the Gui Fang people come south, relying on the Great Wall defense line, who could it stop?”
2 Yun Ce gnawed on mutton and said: “You’ve held the position of Great Wall Grand Governor for thirty-six years.”
2 Zhao Shu chuckled: “Do you know who in the Great Wall garrison has garrisoned the Great Wall the longest in the world, and for how long?”
2 Seeing Yun Ce seemingly thinking, Zhao Shu directly said: “Don’t guess; I’ll tell you. The family that has garrisoned the Great Wall the longest has been stationed on it for a full thousand years.”
2 Seeing Yun Ce put down the meat piece as if to speak, Zhao Shu continued: “Are you thinking that the longer they’ve garrisoned, the more affection they have for the Great Wall, and the more likely they are to stand with the Great Wall defense line through life and death?”
2 “Don’t speak; listen to this old man tell you.
2 The longer they’ve garrisoned the Great Wall, the more unbalanced their hearts become. Why can other families, other people live lives of drunken revelry in prosperous places like Chang’an and Luoyang? Why must they stay away from the shelter of shehuo, drinking the northwest wind on the Great Wall?
2 A thousand years, eight hundred years, five hundred years, three hundred years, a hundred years—even if they started full of ambition, after such a long time, the guilt toward their wives, the debt to their children, the worry for their descendants—these are what the officers and soldiers guarding the Great Wall think about in their hearts.”
3 Yun Ce raised his head and said: “Even so…”
3 Zhao Shu roared: “Shut your stinking mouth, you bastard. Are you going to say the court treats the Great Wall garrison generously, with ample rewards, honors bestowed?
3 This old man tells you, there never has been.
3 In the third year of Da Zheng, the Great Wall defense line’s stored grain was based on half a year; officers and soldiers’ salaries were paid every three months. Though not generous, it was enough to support families.
3 In the fifth year of Da Zheng, the court stipulated Great Wall garrison stored grain issued every three months—listen clearly, issued every three months, not stored for three months.
3 In the seventh year of Da Zheng, when Northern State’s Yongjia Marquis Zhang Qing rebelled, his forces pointing straight at Chang’an, it was this old man who led eighty thousand Great Wall iron cavalry on a starlit night to rush aid, finally intercepting Zhang Qing’s rebel army in Liangzhou, fighting a great battle with Zhang Qing. The eighty thousand iron cavalry under this old man lost over thirty thousand in battle, finally breaking Zhang Qing’s offensive and creating enough time for the world’s relief forces.
3 When Zhang Qing was executed, the officers and soldiers full of joy awaited the court to award merits and rewards; those dog days not only didn’t give rewards to the officers and soldiers, but under the crime of leaving posts without authorization, forced the officers and soldiers under this old man to no longer demand military merit or rewards.
3 From then on, the Great Wall garrison’s backbone was broken.
3 Then, in the ninth year of Da Zheng, the court, saying the Great Wall garrison numbers were too many, issued that damned 《streamline troops and simplify administration policy》; military rations and pay were only sixty percent of previous years. This old man had no choice but to dismiss two hundred ten thousand Great Wall garrison soldiers.
3 After that, there was no so-called Great Wall garrison in the world, only a group of walking corpses left.
4 Seeing Zhao Shu’s expression agitated, Yun Ce poured the already cooled mutton back into the pot, refilled a bowl of hot for him, placed it in his hand and said: “Eat meat, eat meat.”
4 Zhao Shu placed the wooden bowl in his hand on the wooden pot lid and said: “These years, this old man has exhausted all fawning efforts to get more provisions and pay for the Great Wall garrison, just hoping to leave them one last breath. Then, as you know, the Grand Marshal fought with the Emperor.
4 Once they fought, Chang’an City truly had blood flowing like rivers, floating pestles; a million corpses might be an exaggeration, but three hundred thousand was more than ample. At that time, provisions, money—Chang’an didn’t have enough; do you think when it came to the Great Wall garrison, how much could be left?”
4 Yun Ce smiled and said: “Then you led the army to live off Chang’an?”
4 Zhao Shu laughed loudly: “The officers and soldiers all say that only in those days in Chang’an did they live like humans—eating their fill, dressed warmly, with ample silver money; it was the best time of their lives.
4 It was just too short a time; that doggy Zhou Bo collected the officers and soldiers too quickly. After the Emperor’s side gave money for a while, they realized something was wrong and stopped.
4 After that, this old man was driven out of Chang’an City, reduced to a pile of stinking dog shit that anyone who sees it finds dirty.
4 Everyone in the world says this old man is the greatest villain of the age. Youngster, as a beneficiary of this old man’s random actions, tell me, am I a villain?”
4 Yun Ce smiled and said: “Yes, a villain—at least when history books write about you, you’re the prodigal son of the era, the chief culprit who destroyed the Great Wall defense line; leaving a name reviled for a thousand years is certain.
4 Moreover, there’s no way to clear your name, because everything you’ve done lately has confirmed those charges.”
5 Zhao Shu laughed heartily: “After this old man fell into ruin, I personally walked through all seventy-eight passes on the Great Wall one by one; guess what I discovered?”
5 Yun Ce said: “Each pass naturally has banners flying, drums and gongs thundering, brimming with killing intent.”
5 Zhao Shu ate a mouthful of cold mutton and happily said: “Exactly so; the seventy-eight passes under this old man’s rule are each deathly still, permeated with an air of death.
5 Hahaha, the garrison has been replaced; those who didn’t want to continue guarding the Great Wall have all left, replaced by a batch of ambitious people treating the Great Wall as their own territory.
5 Since Great Han people and Gui Fang people are mortal enemies, no matter which Han person comes to guard the Great Wall, the end result is still deadlocked with the Gui Fang people. Does it matter whose territory it is, who comes to guard it?
5 Yun Ce, what do you think of this old man’s scheme—is it brilliant or not?”
