Chapter 185: I’m Not Greedy—i’m Easy To Please
“Holding a Shehuo Festival north of the Great Wall? Does his family have Shehuo, to hold a Shehuo Festival?”
Cao Kun looked at Yun Ce’s invitation letter, then couldn’t help muttering softly.
“Tsk, he actually hunted down two Elephant Pigs and invited me to taste Elephant Pig meat? Uncle, do you think he can really hunt down a Giant Beast like an Elephant Pig?”
The old butler Zheng Tianshou, who was sitting across from him reading a book, looked up at Cao Kun, who had no proper sitting or standing posture, thought for a moment, and said: “He probably captured young beasts.”
“That’s what I think too. Even if an adult beast stood there letting him kill it, he probably couldn’t kill it.”
Zheng Tianshou ignored Cao Kun’s nonsense, shook the book in his hand, and said: “Don’t underestimate the Yun Clan. This is a family with extremely deep heritage. Not to mention anything else, just this book《The Art of War》—a family that doesn’t even own it, let alone has heard of it.”
In front of Zheng Tianshou, Cao Kun retracted all his claws and fangs, behaving like a true playboy. Hearing Zheng Tianshou praising Yun Ce, he couldn’t help saying: “Since the Yun Clan is so powerful, how come our people found nothing? They only know Yun Ce comes from the Wilderness and is a Wildman.”
Zheng Tianshou reluctantly put down the book in his hand and said to Cao Kun: “Not to mention anything else, I’ll just tell you this: this《The Art of War》 is the complete thirteen chapters, from the《Initial Calculations Chapter》 to the final《Use of Spies Chapter》, all connected seamlessly. It should be the original text, not some so-called ‘Thirteen Chapters of Sun Tzu’ pieced together by busybodies.”
The Yun Family is called the Yun Family because of Yun Ce, and the Yun Family might not have been called the Yun Family before.
Cao Kun said thoughtfully: “Uncle, now I understand what you mean. Yun Ce might have enemies still alive, or his reputation was ruined before, so he had to use a new name.”
1 Hahaha, Chuyun Prefecture, of course he has to have the surname Yun.
1 Although he’s sneaky, when flattering our family, he’s quite sincere. He sent these six books as gifts. Should I bring more provisions to send over to him?
1 I heard he and his wife now eat only one jin of grain a day. It’s quite pitiful.
1 Since he’s going all out this time to hold a Shehuo Festival, it looks like he wants to collect more gifts. As his brother who shares life and death with him, I have to help him maintain some face, so I’ll just call more people over then.
1 But when he talked about the Elephant Pig Beasts, he was vague, not like he wants to trick me. Uncle, what do you think?
1 Zheng Tianshou pondered for a moment and said: “What Yun Ce said makes sense. Eleven Elephant Pig Beasts crowded in an area fifty li deep and no more than twenty li wide, unwilling to leave even with scarce food—there is indeed a problem. I just don’t know if the problem here is good or bad.”
1 Yun Ce spoke bluntly to you, but there might be an intention to borrow your strength to investigate the secret of Eddy Bay on the Qingshui River.
1 Overall, it’s not a big deal. You decide yourself.
1 Cao Kun licked his lips and said to Zheng Tianshou: “Uncle, this time I got the recipe for Yun Clan oil-splashed noodles for you and had the family chef make it for you. Honestly, I never thought a coarse food could haunt my dreams and be unforgettable.”
1 Oh, and their pond, especially the maidservant raising her palm and wiping from her buttocks crack a few times—it’s truly intoxicating.
2 “Mm, go there and relax properly for three days. You’ve been pushing yourself too hard lately. The fight with your brothers—it’s too early to start now. In such matters, whoever strikes first falls into disadvantage. Wait until they’ve walked themselves into a dead end, then strike to clean up. No one in the world will say anything against you.”
2 “Uncle, how is my dad so fertile? Just yesterday, he gave me a younger brother and a younger sister in one day. If this continues, when the family business comes to me, will there be anything left?”
2 “The Patriarch is healthy and full of vitality. As his son, you should submit a memorial to celebrate, not complain.”
2 Cao Kun irritably bounced around the room, then said to Zheng Tianshou: “So annoying, so annoying. I’ll take two Albatrosses and go to Jingkou Pass first. Uncle, have the new guards my dad sent ride horses to Jingkou Pass.”
2 Zheng Tianshou frowned and said: “There’s no need to waste these people on Elephant Pigs. That’s not appropriate.”
2 Cao Kun grinned and said: “If they were proper guards, I’d treat them as comrades. But these people, when idle, like to secretly report my news to my dad. Uncle, this is intolerable.”
2 Seeing Cao Kun leave, Zheng Tianshou couldn’t help sighing. The Eldest Son’s mood has really been bad these past few days. Since his advice isn’t heeded, he has to do cleanup work for what the Eldest Son is about to do.
2 An adult Elephant Pig, even after removing the internal organs and skinning it into an empty shell, still weighs sixty thousand jin. After removing the one-chi-thick skin, the remaining meat is still forty thousand jin.
2 As Yun Ce expected, this Giant Beast’s body had little fat, and the muscle fibers were too coarse, making it very hard to cook.
2 Yun Ce threw large blocks of Elephant Pig meat into two newly made large grindstones, grinding the fresh large blocks into minced meat, then drying the minced meat to make fluffy meat powder. This Elephant Pig meat could be eaten by adults or children.
3 Normally, this stuff should be dried into dried meat before grinding, but unfortunately, once dried, it becomes as hard as iron, clanging like metal when struck together, even enough to lift the grindstone.
3 The small Elephant Pig’s body, however, had a lot of fat. After opening the stomach, it was almost all lard inside, and the meat quality was much more tender. It was good material whether pan-fried, stir-fried, boiled, or deep-fried.
3 Now, the people in the camp all looked sallow and emaciated, clearly severely lacking in fat intake.
3 Cao Kun flew in from Yujin Pass early in the morning. After arriving, he didn’t rest at the Yun Clan Villa but went straight to Yun Ce, who was rendering Elephant Pig fat.
3 Yun Ce had just scooped a large ladle of fried residue from the large pot. Seeing Cao Kun arrive, he put the fried residue on a plate, sprinkled some green salt on it, and handed it to Cao Kun while hot.
3 “What is this, waste from filtering oil?”
3 “Things in this world are just tasty or not tasty. There’s no high or low, noble or lowly. Honestly, if you were thrown into the oil pot and fried, your taste might not surpass those slaves.”
3 “Why?”
3 “Your meat isn’t as firm as theirs.”
3 “Mm, that’s a point. Next time we’re free, let’s grab a pampered noble and a hard-labor slave, throw them both in the oil pot to test.”
4 While talking, Cao Kun picked up a piece of fried residue and put it in his mouth, then in a very short time, ate a whole plate of fried residue, drinking water nonstop from the greasiness.
4 “I never thought you’d throw inedible Elephant Pig meat into the grindstone to grind into minced meat, finally making meat powder. Don’t feed this stuff to those slaves anymore—it’s too wasteful for them. I’ll trade provisions with you. This is top-grade military rations. Don’t tell me you didn’t notice?”
4 “What if I did notice? When people are starving to death, even dragon liver and phoenix marrow are just for filling the stomach.”
4 “What a waste—”
4 Cao Kun looked around and saw Yun Clan’s slaves everywhere on the hillsides, none idle. They were clearly well taken care of by Yun Ce—though thin, their spirits were good, just with too many women and children.
4 Since Yun Ce was so good at supporting people and loved supporting people, Cao Kun felt that as Yun Ce’s brother who shared life and death, he had an obligation to help his brother again by sending more women and children over.
4 Compared to Cao Kun’s false pretenses, Yun Ce was far too sincere.
4 Since Cao Kun mentioned military rations, Yun Ce fetched grain for fodder powder, stir-fried it golden in the large pot with the meat powder, and added some Elephant Pig fat, salt, and sweet root powder.
4 Without waiting for the mixture to cool, he put it into a mold, covered it, and squeezed hard. In moments, dark green blocks came out of the mold.
4 Yun Ce handed one to Cao Kun and said: “One block is enough to sustain an officer or soldier for a day.”
5 Cao Kun weighed it in his hand and said: “Just half a jin or so. Really enough to fill up?”
5 After speaking, seeing his own guards hurriedly riding Thunder Smoke Beasts over, knowing they hadn’t had breakfast, he had Cao Ling deliver the blocks Yun Ce just made to them, declaring it was their one day’s rations.
5 “The taste might not be great, but in the military, don’t be so picky. Think about it: if each cavalryman carries dozens of these on their back, they can charge ten thousand li without needing supplies. One block for twenty jin of provisions isn’t expensive, right?”
5 Cao Kun looked at Yun Ce and laughed, pointing at him repeatedly with his finger, saying: “A handful of meat powder, a handful of grain for fodder, a bit of salt and oil—if I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes, I really wouldn’t believe your business heart is this black.”
5 Yun Ce frowned and said: “Black?”
5 Cao Kun immediately said: “Black as pitch dark where you can’t see your hand.”
5 Yun Ce said again: “When I sell you this batch, I’m selling the recipe too. Do you still think it’s pitch black now?”
5 Cao Kun jumped half a day high, pounding his chest and saying: “I looked earlier—nothing special. Even I, who never cooks, could easily make this stuff.”
5 Yun Ce grabbed a warm piece of fried residue, tossed it in his mouth, and laughed: “Before I made this thing, did it exist in the world?”
5 One sentence silenced Cao Kun. He looked at Yun Ce and said: “Why do you always have this ability to turn decay into magic?”
6 “One jin of military rations for twenty jin of provisions. Trade or not?”
6 “Trade, trade, trade. But just this batch. Later I’ll make it myself. Doing business with you would ruin my conscience.”
6 Having gotten grain from Cao Kun, Yun Ce stopped pretending to be busy with cooking.
6 The two climbed a small mountain hillside and sat on folding stools brought by Yun Clan guards. Though Cao Kun really wanted to study this lightweight seat, considering it might be another of Yun Ce’s stratagems, he forcibly held back and said to Yun Ce: “How about I handle the Elephant Pig matter? You pretend not to know.”
6 Yun Ce nodded and said: “No problem. But I want two adult Elephant Pig corpses and one young Elephant Pig corpse.”
6 Cao Kun asked puzzledly: “You don’t want the things in Eddy Bay?”
6 Yun Ce shook his head firmly: “No. I only want Elephant Pig corpses. If you can’t pass it, send me all the Elephant Pig corpses, and I’ll be satisfied.”
6 Originally could finish before four, but I was forced to go see a beauty. Once there, she held my hand and wouldn’t let go. I struggled to no avail… Later, she drew a tube of my blood, saying it was to check my glycated hemoglobin… Time was wasted like that.
