Chapter 100: If We’re Going Crazy, Let’s Go Crazy Together! If We’re Dying, Let’s Die Together! 【 Monthly Ticket Bonus Update 7 】
In this era, all grace, whether thunder or rain, comes from the Emperor. But that doesn’t mean Fu Youwen and his men will passively wait for death.
After all, who doesn’t want to live a good life? Except for that ‘madman’ named Zhang Biao.
While others rack their brains to survive, he is doing everything he can to die.
It’s actually a bit funny.
However, Zhang Biao at this moment was indeed very frustrated.
Originally, he thought that with his abstract memorial, Old Zhu would definitely explode upon reading it.
Yet, the reality was that Old Zhu not only didn’t explode but also planned to use him to clear up accumulated malpractices.
This was practically sending him and his brothers to their deaths.
Because their previous actions, though seemingly crazy, were actually reasonable.
After all, they were the ones who were owed salaries, so they had a right to make a scene at their workplace.
However, Old Zhu’s decree directly turned their ‘legitimate rights protection’ into a ‘political purge’.
This suddenly changed the nature of their actions.
After all, no matter how much they made a fuss before, the Imperial Guard wouldn’t arrest people, but if it turned into a political purge, the Imperial Guard would definitely arrest people.
So, in this case, they wouldn’t just be making a fuss; it would be a fight for survival.
Then, could he and his brothers all survive?
At that time, wouldn’t they retaliate when they were cornered?
Even if they didn’t retaliate, Old Zhu would eventually ‘kill the dog after it served its purpose’.
Therefore, he had no choice but to tear up the imperial decree to forcibly halt the audit.
It didn’t matter if he died; he was seeking death anyway, and there was no need for Shen Lang and the others to follow him.
Even if Shen Lang and the others weren’t afraid of death, Zhang Biao felt it was unnecessary to involve them.
“Alas! Why is it so hard to die!”
Zhang Biao stood by the Qinhuai River and sighed to the sky.
At this time, the sounds of pipes and flutes along the Qinhuai River began to wail, and the lanterns on the pleasure boats lit up one by one, reflecting in the murmuring water, creating a scene of a gentle, drunken paradise.
But Zhang Biao had no mind to pay attention.
“Brother Biao—!”
Just as Zhang Biao was feeling depressed, a familiar voice suddenly rang out from behind him. He was stunned for a moment before looking in the direction of the sound.
He saw Shen Lang, Li Mo, Sun Gui, Zhao Fengman, Wu Nai Da, and the group of brothers he had driven away, all appearing behind him with smiling faces.
Each of them had changed into official robes, no longer looking so impoverished as they did during the audit.
Moreover, each of them was holding tables and benches, as if they had just gone out to rob a house.
“What’s the meaning of this?”
Zhang Biao looked bewildered: “What do you guys want to do?”
“Brothers—!”
Shen Lang ignored Zhang Biao’s confusion and directly pointed to the banks of the Qinhuai River, saying loudly, “This is the den of indulgence, built with the hard-earned money of us workers!”
“Roar!”
The crowd immediately let out howls.
Zhang Biao was even more bewildered, thinking to himself, “Are you guys planning to go whoring in official robes?!”
Is this really so absurd?!
Then, Sun Gui raised the chamber pot lamp again and shouted, “Let us use light to illuminate the darkness of this den of indulgence! And rescue those women who have fallen!”
“Hahaha!”
The crowd burst into laughter.
Following this, Li Mo came out holding a newly purchased Analects, and said with a resounding voice, “The Master said, ‘It is easy to die for righteousness.’ I, Li, am willing to go whoring with my brothers.”
“Holy crap!”
Zhang Biao finally couldn’t help but curse: “What the hell are you guys doing! Are you all crazy?!”
“Heh heh, Brother Biao, you can’t possibly want to abandon us! We’ll follow you for life! If we’re going to be crazy, let’s all be crazy together!”
Zhao Fengman said with a smile as he stepped forward.
The others also stepped forward one after another, saying in unison, “If we’re going to be crazy, let’s be crazy together! If we’re going to die, let’s die together!”
“I”
Zhang Biao opened his mouth, wanting to speak but stopping himself.
Damn it!
These bastards!
What should I do, I’ve got sand in my eyes!
“Brother Biao, we’ve all gone back and arranged our affairs. If the Emperor is truly shameless and implicates our families, then we’ll be family again in the next life. At least this life, we have no regrets in dying!”
Shen Lang walked over with a smile, put his arm around Zhang Biao, who was about to turn away to secretly wipe his tears, and said softly:
“As the saying goes, ‘A woman adorns herself for the one who admires her, and a scholar dies for his confidant.’ In this age where ambitions are difficult to realize and everything is hard to achieve, it’s rare to find someone like Brother Biao who holds the dawn in his heart.”
“That’s right, Brother Biao.”
Sun Gui also walked over, holding the lamp: “We met by chance, and you could have ignored us. But you risked your life for us, so how could we let you down?”
“In the torrent of the mortal world, it is already a great struggle to stand firm; to aspire to prominence is harder than climbing to heaven.”
Wu Nai Da shook his head and sighed; “In the Ministry of Personnel, I have seen too many good officials who pleaded for the people but were unable to get promoted for over ten years. Not to mention doing what we are doing today, they probably wouldn’t dare to imagine it in their lifetime.”
“In this world, someone has to sacrifice. If we don’t sacrifice, our descendants will. Let us be the ones to sacrifice.”
Zhao Fengman looked at Zhang Biao solemnly: “Man proposes, God disposes. The road ahead is long, why don’t we spread our wings and fly together, shall we, Zhang Jianxian?”
“Brother Biao!”
“Censor Zhang!”
“Zhang Jianxian!”
As Zhao Fengman finished speaking, more and more shouts rang out one after another.
Zhang Biao’s heart trembled, and he then turned to scan these people. Seeing their determined gazes and readiness to face death, he was greatly moved.
He now finally understood what it meant to have like-minded companions.
Since ancient times, there have always been a group of reckless people who, upholding the righteousness in their hearts, sacrifice themselves without hesitation.
He never expected that he, Zhang Biao, would encounter such a group of people.
“Hahaha—!”
Zhang Biao suddenly threw his head back and laughed, as if all his previous frustration had vanished, and he had returned to his arrogant and dismissive state: “Good! Brothers, you’ve said it well! If we’re going to be crazy, let’s all be crazy together!”
“Tonight, I’ll take you all to a different venue to audit this den of indulgence!”
“Roar—!”
The crowd howled again, even more full of heroic spirit than before.
Soon, they swaggered into the pleasure district.
Passersby, pleasure-seekers, and even the singing girls and patrons on the pleasure boats looked at this strange procession with surprise and disbelief.
“Who are these people?”
“They look like officials, but their attire…”
“Look at that one! He’s even holding a chamber pot?!”
“What are they carrying tables and benches for? Are they setting up a stall by the Qinhuai River?”
“The one leading them… isn’t that the Censor Zhang who made the Emperor faint before?!”
“Hiss, it really is him! What is he doing here?!”
Amidst the murmurs, Zhang Biao walked directly towards the most luxurious and largest pleasure boat on the riverbank, “Phoenix Seeks Mate”.
The pimps and guards on the pleasure boat saw this display and their scalps tingled. They stepped forward to block them, forcing a smile: “Gentlemen, may we ask what brings you here? This pleasure boat today… has been booked.”
“Booked?”
Zhang Biao raised an eyebrow and pointed at Shen Lang and the others’ official robes, saying arrogantly, “Open your dog eyes and see clearly! Who are we? If we take off these official robes, is that enough to book your broken boat ten times over?”
The pimp was startled, and upon seeing the official robes of the lower-ranking capital officials, his legs turned to jelly: “Enough, enough, absolutely enough! Please, sirs, come aboard! Quickly, please!”
“That’s more like it!”
Zhang Biao waved his hand grandly: “Brothers! On board! Today we will transform this ‘Phoenix Seeks Mate’ into the ‘Workers’ Union Team Building Center’!”
“Woo—!”
The crowd cheered and swarmed onto the pleasure boat like bandits entering a city.
The well-dressed singing and dancing girls who were preparing to perform on the pleasure boat were all terrified and screamed, hiding to the side when they saw these strangely dressed patrons with their own props.
Some noble scions who wanted to come forward to reason saw that the leader was that madman Zhang Biao, who dared to infuriate the Emperor, and immediately scurried away along the edge.
Zhang Biao unceremoniously occupied the main seat, pushed aside the elegant furnishings in the pleasure boat, and placed Sun Gui’s chamber pot lamp in the center of the table as a mood light.
“Madam! Where is the Madam?!”
He slapped the table and shouted.
A heavily made-up Madam, still possessing her charms, tremblingly came over: “What are your commands, sir?”
“Call out all your most popular girls! Those who can sing, sing! Those who can dance, dance! Those who play the pipa, play with all your might!”
“Sir, we have one girl per boat. If you want them all, other sirs…”
“What do you mean one per boat? If the corrupt officials next door see this, they’ll think we honest officials can’t afford it!?”
“No, sir, everyone is treated the same!”
“What do I care about all that! Hurry! Arrange one for each of my brothers! And make sure they’re skilled!”
Zhang Biao said this and then looked at the other tables, adding, “Also, bring out good wine and good food! I’m in a good mood today, I’m treating my brothers to some fun!”
The Madam was about to shout “Someone’s causing trouble!”, when another more perceptive old attendant quickly called out, “Oh! Sir, please rest assured! We will definitely satisfy you and all the esteemed sirs!”
Saying this, she ignored the Madam’s expression and immediately shouted behind her, “Girls! Hurry! Come out and meet the guests! Bring out the good wine! Bring out the best feast!”
“Coming—!”
Instantly, the sounds of string and bamboo instruments rose, and beautiful singing and dancing filled the air, with fine wine and delicacies being served like a flowing stream.
“Loosen up, damn it all!”
Zhang Biao stepped on a stool, picked up a large bowl of wine: “We’re here to enjoy ourselves today! Forget everything before! Tonight, there is only wine and women! Cheers!”
“Cheers!”
Infected by his mood, everyone picked up their wine bowls and drank them down in one gulp.
After a few bowls of wine, the atmosphere quickly became lively.
Zhao Fengman, embracing a singing girl, loudly boasted about how he had taken away Duke Cao’s screen that day.
Another Censor gesticulated with a dancing girl, describing his heroic feat of scolding Ru Chang.
Sun Gui even tried to use the chamber pot lamp to shine a light on a pipa player, scaring her so much that she almost threw the pipa into the river.
The entire “Phoenix Seeks Mate” pleasure boat was completely transformed by these absurd fellows into a large team-building event for lower-ranking capital officials.
Elegant music of string and bamboo mixed with the sounds of shouting during drinking games, graceful dances accompanied by the shouts of bragging, and the light of the chamber pot lamp intertwined with the ornate palace lanterns.
Looking at this absurd scene, Zhang Biao felt both amused and a sense of inexplicable satisfaction.
Yes! That’s right!
Indulge yourselves! Act out! Go crazy!
It would be best if the entire Yingtian Prefecture knew tomorrow that they, under imperial decree, were auditing and reveling on the Qinhuai River.
And they had even received rewards from Old Zhu.
He didn’t believe that Old Zhu could resist not looking for him.
He saw himself drinking until his face was flushed, staggering to the bow of the boat, facing the lights on both sides of the Qinhuai River. He gathered his internal energy and shouted loudly:
“Zhu Chongba! Aren’t you a lunatic?! If you have the guts! Come and chop me to death right now!”
“If I so much as frown, I’m not your grandfather—!”
The sound traveled far across the river, causing countless people on the pleasure boats to peek out in astonishment.
They’ve gone mad!
They’ve completely lost their minds!
Imperial Guard scouts hidden in the crowd on the shore recorded the events expressionlessly.
【 At the third watch of the night, Zhang Biao, on the “Phoenix Seeks Mate” pleasure boat, openly squandered reward silver, consorted with prostitutes, and again insulted the sovereign in a public setting.】
Inside the pleasure boat, Shen Lang had also had a bit too much to drink. He held up his wine bowl and approached Zhang Biao, slurring, “Brother Biao… will we still be auditing from now on?”
“Auditing my ass!”
Zhang Biao slung an arm around Shen Lang’s shoulder and shouted drunkenly:
“Tomorrow, I’ll go to the Hall of Supreme Harmony and ask Old Zhu if the consumption level on the Qinhuai River is reasonable! And ask if his imperial treasury has enough silver for us to come and enjoy ourselves every day!”
“Good!!”
A group of drunkards joined in the commotion.
However, at this moment—
A dissonant voice, filled with tears and extreme anxiety, pierced through the clamor of the pleasure boat: “Brother Biao! Brother Biao! It’s bad!”
A minor clerk who had been left guarding the temporary storeroom rushed onto the pleasure boat, scrambling and tumbling, his face ashen, panting:
“Jiang Huan! Commander Jiang has brought the Imperial Guard and surrounded our storeroom!”
“He claims it’s an imperial decree to take over all the illicit gains and materials!”
“Our people have been driven out! All the goods are under their guard!”
The boisterous pleasure boat fell silent in an instant.
The music stopped, the singing and dancing stopped, the shouting during drinking games stopped.
The drunkenness of all the members of the ‘Audit Dream Team’ was instantly shaken off by more than half, and fear appeared on their faces.
The Emperor… he’s finally making a move?!
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