Chapter 73: Censor Zhang, Give Me A Chance! Seeking Monthly Tickets
The next morning, the weather was cold.
Zhang Biao, leading his ‘Salary Demand Troupe’, arrived in full force at the Ministry of Revenue’s doorway.
The formation was quite peculiar:
Some were wrapped in straw mats, some carried chamber pot lamps as their banners, some hopped on one foot as if looking for a shoe, and there was a group of low-ranking capital officials whose legs were no longer numb but whose expressions were of facing certain death.
The Ministry of Revenue’s vermilion gate was tightly shut. The clerks guarding the doorway had pale faces and trembling legs, their water and fire staffs almost slipping from their grasp.
Zhang Biao walked up. Instead of knocking, he kicked the heavy door panel with his foot, producing muffled “bang bang” sounds, and yelled at the top of his lungs:
“Hey! Vermin inside! Open the door! You have the nerve to owe salaries, but not the nerve to open the door? Don’t hide inside and stay silent, I know you’re home!”
“Hurry up! Open the door quickly! Let’s negotiate the issue of salary arrears for the Hongwu years twenty-four and twenty-five! We can talk about interest, a 1% discount!”
Silence reigned from within the Ministry, broken only by the heavy panting of the clerks.
Shen Lang was a bit nervous and asked in a low voice, “Brother Biao, do you think they’ll resort to force?”
“Resort to force? They wouldn’t dare!”
Zhang Biao scoffed:
“We are now the vanguards of rights protection, protected by the laws of the Great Ming! Besides, we haven’t caused any disturbances, nor have we smashed or looted. We are demanding salaries civilly, reasoning, and presenting facts. On what grounds would they use force? Because their faces are big?”
As soon as he finished speaking, a small head popped out from above the gatehouse. It was a director from the Ministry of Revenue, his face ashen, who shouted, “Censor Zhang! Vice Minister Fu said he’s not here! Please come back!”
“Not here?”
Zhang Biao sneered, then took a large pig’s head bone from a low-ranking capital official beside him and gestured towards the gatehouse, “See what this is?”
The director was taken aback, “This is… this is a pig’s bone?”
“Wrong!”
Zhang Biao said righteously, “This is evidence! This is our performance art to protest your Ministry of Revenue’s salary arrears during the court session at the Hall of Supreme Harmony and in the Hall of Supreme Harmony Square, showing that we are reduced to gnawing on bones!”
“Now that the physical evidence is here, and the witnesses are present, your person in charge says he’s not here? Then you are the acting person in charge! Open the door quickly!”
“Otherwise, I’ll perform ‘starving wretches gnawing bones, crying out with blood and tears’ right here at your doorway, so that the people of Yingtian Prefecture can all see how your Ministry of Revenue has pushed us, officials appointed by the court, to this point!”
The director above the gatehouse was close to tears, “Censor Zhang! Don’t make it difficult for your subordinate!”
“Difficult?”
Zhang Biao threw down the bone, clapped his hands, his expression suddenly changed, and he sneered:
“Today, I will indeed make it difficult for you! I’ll give you three breaths of time. If you don’t open the door, I’ll let you witness what a mandatory audit procedure is!”
With that, he turned to Shen Lang and shouted:
“Accountant Shen! Prepare to calculate! Department Director Sun! Light your chamber pot lamp! Provide some light for our on-site audit!”
“And you, Editor Li! Prepare to record!”
“Today, we’ll be doing on-site office work right here at the Ministry of Revenue’s doorway, calculating if Vice Minister Fu and his brother-in-law’s illegal income is enough to offset our salaries!”
“Alright, Brother Biao!”
Shen Lang, from goodness knows where, produced a small abacus and started clicking away. Though his hands trembled a bit, his demeanor was professional.
Sun Gui fumbled to relight the chamber pot lamp, its faint, smelly glow illuminating Zhang Biao’s arrogant face.
Li Mo quickly put on his shoes and took out his frozen brush. He licked it, found it wouldn’t work, and decided to dip it in saliva to prepare for recording.
The director in the gatehouse, looking at this extremely abstract audit team, felt his professional career and worldview had been dealt a double blow.
One breath!
Hasty footsteps and whispers came from inside the Ministry.
Two breaths!
Zhang Biao had already begun to count aloud:
“Fu Youwen, Hongwu year twenty-four, three sets of new silk official robes, estimated value fifteen taels! His brother-in-law, chartering a pleasure boat on the Qinhuai River three times, estimated consumption…”
“No! Stop calculating!”
A wailing scream came from within the Ministry.
Before three breaths were up!
“Creeaak—”
With a grating sound, a sliver of the Ministry of Revenue’s heavy vermilion gate actually opened.
Fu Youwen’s face was ashen as paper and dripping with cold sweat.
He had clearly been eavesdropping behind the door and could no longer hold back.
Squeezing through the gap, he looked at the mob of monstrous figures outside, especially Zhang Biao’s half-smiling gaze, and felt immense pressure on his bladder.
His voice trembled with endless grievance and fear as he cried, “Censor Zhang! Give me a chance!”
Pfft!
The group of nervous low-ranking capital officials behind him almost burst out laughing but quickly covered their mouths.
“Oh, Vice Minister Fu, you want a chance?”
Zhang Biao also chuckled, crossing his arms:
“Sure! First, settle the hard-earned money you owe us, then voluntarily hand over your corruption and your brother-in-law’s illegal income to the National Treasury, and I’ll petition the Emperor to give you a chance.”
Fu Youwen’s face turned green:
“Censor Zhang, the Ministry of Revenue, the Ministry of Revenue truly has no money! The imperial treasury is empty…”
“Here we go again, here we go again!”
Zhang Biao impatiently interrupted, “Can you change your tune when crying poverty? The imperial treasury is empty? I think your personal treasury, Fu Youwen, is not empty, is it?”
He suddenly leaned closer to the door gap, lowering his voice like a devil’s whisper:
“Vice Minister Fu, tell me, if a group of low-ranking capital officials, who just made the Emperor faint and fear nothing, were to storm your storeroom right now, would they find any surprises? For example, is your private treasury even richer than the National Treasury, hmm?”
Upon hearing this, Fu Youwen trembled all over, cold sweat pouring down, his eyes filled with despair.
He knew that Zhang Biao, this madman, was capable of doing it.
But he absolutely could not give them the money.
Because without Old Zhu’s order, he didn’t have the courage to give it.
After all, what Zhang Biao and his group had done was enough to warrant exterminating nine generations of a family. They were just waiting for Old Zhu to wake up and deal with them.
Therefore, in just a moment, the despair in his eyes and the trembling all over his body vanished.
Instead, he suddenly shouted sternly, “Zhang Biao! Are you trying to rebel?! You caused trouble at the Hall of Supreme Harmony Square before, and now you’re gathering people to cause trouble. Are you truly not afraid of heavenly wrath descending?!”
“Heh, Vice Minister Fu is getting tough now!”
Zhang Biao smiled, a chilling smile:
“To be honest, if you weren’t being tough, I wouldn’t know how to play this scene! Since that’s the case, let’s conduct an on-site audit!”
Saying that, he directly turned to Shen Lang and said, “Accountant Shen! Calculate for me! I want to see how long Vice Minister Fu can remain tough!”
“Zhang Biao! How dare you be so insolent! Who do you think you are to meddle in the affairs of my Ministry of Revenue?!”
“Hahaha!”
Zhang Biao suddenly threw his head back and laughed, then his gaze fell on Fu Youwen, and he clapped his hands, “Good! Excellent question!”
After speaking, he stepped on the pig’s head bone and said with conviction:
“I am the Left Vice Censor-in-Chief of the Censorate, Fourth Rank, ordered by imperial decree to supervise the Ministry of Revenue’s money and grain, with the right to report directly to the emperor. Matters that the Censorate can handle, I handle. Matters that the Censorate cannot handle, I also handle. You ask me who I am?”
“I’ll tell you right now, imperial prerogative, execute first, report later! Don’t agree?”
“Let’s curse the Emperor together then!”
Boom!
Fu Youwen was struck as if by lightning.
…
Requesting monthly tickets~~
Requesting monthly tickets, requesting monthly tickets, requesting recommendation tickets, requesting follow-up reads, requesting all forms of care.
【 Also, remember to like the pig’s head meat 】
