Chapter 62: No Matter How Small Fish Struggle, They Are Still Small Fish! Seeking Monthly Tickets
“If Heaven had not born Brother Biao, Great Ming would have been in eternal darkness!”
“Give us back Brother Biao! Give us back pig’s head meat!”
“Pay our unpaid salaries! Release Brother Biao! Otherwise, we’ll lie here dead!”
These resounding slogans echoed continuously in the Hall of Supreme Harmony Square, attracting countless gazes.
However, Shen Lang felt it wasn’t tragic enough, not eye-catching enough.
Because Zhang Biao had taught him that true ‘dying for a cause’ requires extreme contrast and absurdity.
So, he struggled to poke half his body out of the ‘corpse bag’ and said to Sun Gui, who was shivering beside him:
“Brother Sun! Where are the things?! Bring them out!!”
Hearing this, Sun Gui jolted all over and hesitantly took an object from his chest.
The moment that thing was brought out, the entire square’s atmosphere instantly shifted from tragically absurd to astonishing.
“Oh my goodness! It’s a chamber pot!”
Someone couldn’t help but exclaim.
There stood Sun Gui, who usually cared the most about appearances among the capital officials, now with a look of resolve mixed with tragedy, shame, and desperation.
His hands trembling, he took a small stub of a candle from his chest and fumbled to light it.
Then.
Under the stunned gaze of everyone.
He carefully, meticulously, inserted the burning candle stub into the mouth of the chamber pot.
Next, he raised the chamber pot lamp high.
Like the Statue of Liberty.
The faint candlelight flickered at the dirty opening of the chamber pot, illuminating Sun Gui’s face, which held a look of defiance unto death, and also shone on the mottled stains on the pot’s walls.
An indescribable tragic aura, mixed with the smell of urine and candle wax, instantly permeated the air.
“Brothers!”
Sun Gui’s voice was choked with tears, yet exceptionally loud, “Brother Biao is our light! Without Brother Biao! We live in this dark and sunless chamber pot!”
“Light it up! Light a lamp for Brother Biao!!”
“Let the Emperor see! The hearts of us low-ranking officials are like the candlelight in this chamber pot! Though faint, though the smell isn’t great!
But it’s lit! It hasn’t gone out—!”
“Pfft—!”
Some eunuchs and low-ranking guards who were secretly observing from afar couldn’t hold back and burst out laughing, then quickly covered their mouths.
This scene was too flavorful!
Too shocking! Too indescribably much!
With Sun Gui leading the way, others also took out their own light sources.
Some had a wick in a broken bowl!
Some turned over a broken shoe sole and placed a candle in it!
The most brilliant was Editor Li Mo; he struggled to sit up, took off his broken shoe that had exposed toes, stuck the candle in the toe hole, and also raised it high.
“Light!”
“We need light!”
“To illuminate this dark world!”
He shivered from the cold, yet still quoted classics as he roared.
Thus, the Hall of Supreme Harmony Square witnessed the most bizarre, most tragic, and most flavorful scene since the founding of the Great Ming Dynasty:
Dozens of officials, some in tattered official robes, some without, either lying or sitting, holding various light sources emitting strange odors.
Chamber pot lamps, broken bowl lamps, broken shoe lamps…
In the cold wind, before the solemn Hall of Supreme Harmony, they once again roared in unison those astonishing slogans:
“If Heaven had not born Brother Biao, Great Ming would have been in eternal darkness—!”
“Give us back Brother Biao! Give us back pig’s head meat—!”
“Pay our unpaid salaries! Release Brother Biao! Otherwise, we’ll lie here dead—!”
At the same time.
In the adjacent office.
The brazier was burning warmly, and the high-quality silver frost charcoal emitted a pine fragrance, a stark contrast to the tragedy emanating from outside, like hell and heaven.
The Ministers and Vice Ministers of the Six Ministries, along with several old nobles who had just left court, were gathered here.
“Heh!”
Minister of War Ru Chang sneered:
“Listen, listen to this commotion! It’s that group of clueless ants making noise again!”
“They just sprayed us with saliva in court, and now they’re lying in front of the Hall of Supreme Harmony pretending to be dead dogs? They’re never quiet for a moment!”
“Pretending to be dead dogs?”
Vice Minister of the Ministry of Revenue Fu Youwen scoffed:
“They’re performing a monkey show for the Emperor! Lying on gilded bricks? Holding chamber pots? Lighting broken shoe lamps? Tsk tsk, they actually thought of that! The smell is offensive even from this distance!”
He exaggeratedly covered his nose with his sleeve, as if he could truly smell the stench of the chamber pot:
“For that little bit of meager salary, they’ve lost all dignity! A bunch of scoundrels! Disgracing the official code!”
“Scoundrels?”
Marquis of Wuding Guo Ying snorted tremulously.
He was an old brother who had fought alongside Old Zhu through countless battles, having seen mountains of corpses and seas of blood. At this moment, his cloudy old eyes held only indifference towards ants.
“Ants are just ants!”
“Back then at Poyang Lake, Chen Youliang’s towering warships blotted out the sky, so what?”
“Weren’t they all burnt to ashes by the superior and us old brothers, with a single fire!”
“A few spineless shrimp and rotten fish dare to run wild in front of the Hall of Supreme Harmony? Commander Jiang’s actions are still too slow!”
“Marquis Guo speaks the truth!”
Another noble, Li Jinglong, in his prime, his heroic face filled with arrogance and impatience.
“What a damn nuisance! It wasn’t enough to disrupt the court session, and now they’ve pulled this stunt! That chamber pot lamp, ugh!”
He made a gagging motion, eliciting a burst of laughter from the young noble disciples beside him.
“And that slogan? ‘If Heaven had not born Brother Biao, Great Ming would have been in eternal darkness’? Pfft!”
“An arrogant fool who doesn’t know the immensity of heaven and earth, dared to be compared to a sage? He’s light? I think he’s more like a troublemaker!”
He spoke with increasing anger, heavily placing his gold goblet on the rosewood small table:
“Give us back pig’s head meat? Listen! Listen! Is this their so-called righteousness?! A bunch of filthy wretches only fit to think about lowly food!”
“Their lives are not as valuable as a hunting dog in my estate!”
“Duke Li, please calm your anger, don’t let the filth from those ants taint your good wine.”
Another noble chimed in with a smile:
“Look at their pathetic state, some lying down, some holding chamber pots, some lighting broken shoes.”
“Especially that Shen Lang, wrapped up like a beggar’s burial shroud!”
“And that Li Mo, frozen like a quail still writing a bloody tear letter? His snot and tears are all over his face, his ink must be frozen too! Hahaha!”
“It’s more entertaining than the monkey shows under the overpasses! They’ve truly brought shame upon our Great Ming officials!”
He slapped his thighs in exaggerated laughter, drawing more echoes of laughter from those around him.
“Entertaining? It is indeed entertaining!”
Fu Youwen picked up the conversation, a shrewd glint in his sharp eyes:
“A bunch of penniless, starving wretches, fed a few words of bewitchment by that Zhang Biao, they really think they’re loyal ministers pleading for the people? They should take a piss and look at themselves!?”
He shook his head with a cold laugh, as if mocking a group of fools dreaming impossible dreams:
“Who is the Emperor? He’s a true dragon who fought his way out of mountains of corpses and seas of blood! Zhang Biao can’t even save himself now, how can he manage these ants?”
He paused, slowly sipping his tea, as if savoring some cruel truth:
“No matter how much the ants thrash and splash, they are still ants! Their fate is to be netted, dried, and used as bait!”
“Vice Minister Fu has insightful words!”
Another noble interjected with a fawning grin:
“Do you believe that if you kill them, there will be a group of poor, starving people cheering? The poor won’t pity the poor!”
“If you ask me, Commander Jiang should just charge in and stomp on those lying ‘corpses’ like cockroaches!”
“Yes! That’s what should be done!”
Ru Chang’s eyes flashed with ferocity; he was clearly pleased with this suggestion: “A bunch of clueless fools! Do they really think they can succeed by imitating that madman Zhang Biao?”
“Zhang Biao is a madman, a rebel, but he at least has a bit of madness!”
“Them? Hmph, imitating the ugly woman’s dance; trying to draw a tiger but ending up with a dog! They don’t even qualify to be mad!”
Just as they were discussing the inferiors with the airs of superiors, a notification suddenly came from outside.
“The Emperor has arrived—!!”
