Chapter 288: Cherish
Xue Sui chose silence.
It wasn’t difficult to be hard-hearted. What was difficult was, under such a gaze, in Li Zhao’s deep, burning eyes, to utter words that would push him away by a thousand miles…
She was a clear-headed and insightful person.
She didn’t want to deliberately hurt him…
But Li Zhao pressed step by step, the pain and unwillingness churning in his eyes made her throat tighten, forcing her to look away.
“Xue Ping’an.” Li Zhao suddenly leaned down, staring at her face, his nose almost brushing her brow bone, his warm breath fanning her forehead, stirring a subtle tremor.
“Give me a response.”
“Your Highness.” Xue Sui glanced sideways at the tassels swaying on the window lattice, avoiding his overly intense breath.
“My injuries have mostly healed. I should leave…”
Li Zhao’s brows furrowed.
His raven-black long lashes cast sharp shadows beneath his eyelids.
“Zhang Huaicheng said your lung meridian has not fully recovered and it’s not advisable for you to overexert yourself or take risks.”
“One cannot be trapped and die in a medicine pot while alive. I also cannot be confined like a canary in Your Highness’s You Huang Ju…”
She paused, then said softly:
“Besides, I have some private matters that I urgently need to attend to.”
“Private matters?” Li Zhao sneered, his Adam’s apple rolling violently in his plain white collar.
“Is it to find your old subordinates in the Old Mausoleum Swamp to help you escape, or to find the vicious dogs who stripped you that year for revenge?”
Xue Sui looked up.
The candlelight cast his chiseled face in half-light and half-shadow, as if shrouded in a thousand-year-old cold pool, icy to the bone, yet deep within his eyes, a fierce flame burned.
Her heart suddenly clenched.
“Since it’s a private matter, Your Highness shouldn’t inquire.”
“Is that so?” Li Zhao advanced half a step, the tip of his dark boots landing on the blue stone slabs before her, steady and powerful.
“I said, your life was snatched back by me from the gates of hell. I won’t allow you to act recklessly.”
“I have my limits.” Xue Sui took half a step back, her tone distant and polite: “Your Highness, please rest assured.”
“You are always like this…” Li Zhao’s Adam’s apple rolled violently, his voice as hoarse as a poplar tree weathered by sandstorms, carrying the pressure of a superior, yet revealing a hint of exasperation at the end.
“Aren’t you afraid the Imperial Street assassination will happen again? If I’m not by your side then, who will save you?”
Xue Sui remained silent for a long time.
Outside the window, the Love Silk Flowers swayed in the wind, as if sighing.
As Li Zhao approached, he blocked the light, their silhouettes overlapping on the screen, a thick ambiguity gradually fermenting, as if crushing some illusory peace…
“Your Highness.” Xue Sui met his imposing gaze, her voice steady, though it felt like a fishbone stuck in her throat, making it difficult to speak.
“Most things in this world are tribulations; they cannot be avoided.”
“Have you considered my predicament?” Li Zhao asked.
“Your Highness should understand.” The candlelight in Xue Sui’s pupils shattered into two flickering lights.
In their sway, his taut face was reflected.
“Precisely because I am considering Your Highness, I must leave. The path Your Highness walks is the imperial road to the throne, with a vast empire ahead, and ruling Under Heaven is within reach…”
She smiled, a bitter curve appearing at the corner of her lips.
“Xue Liu is merely a humble orphan. To have accompanied you for a while is already a great fortune. In this world, the beginning and end of fate are predetermined. It was but a fleeting firework; why not let us each live in peace?”
The air instantly froze.
The scent of medicine filled the room, weighing heavily on their hearts.
Li Zhao suddenly chuckled softly.
“Your mouth can truly twist black into white.”
Xue Sui shook her head, looking at him quietly.
“Your Highness, you are a very important person to Xue Liu. I grew up watching others’ faces, experiencing all the world’s hardships. Besides my Master and Senior Brothers and Sisters in the Old Mausoleum Swamp, Your Highness is the only one who has ever given me warmth—”
Her voice suddenly trembled, her fingertips tracing an old scar on her wrist. “Xue Liu will never forget the fox fur coat Your Highness threw to me in the snow at Pu Ji Temple that year. That bit of warmth helped me endure many cold nights. It is precisely because of this that I must strive to protect Your Highness’s reputation…”
Li Zhao remained silent.
He had never heard such soft, honest, and unguarded words from Xue Sui’s cold lips. They were so sincere that his heart tightened, and he couldn’t bear to interrupt…
Xue Sui took a deep breath, meeting his deep gaze, and laid bare the cruelest reality:
“I do not wish for Your Highness to be tainted with the stigma of colluding with the Martial World and harboring assassins because of a woman of unknown identity who carries a blood feud. Nor can I leave a handle for others to attack on Your Highness’s path to the throne. Your Highness is destined to be an iron-fisted, wise ruler, bearing the weight of the empire. You should have a clean and upright imperial body, without blemish, to ascend to heaven’s will and bring peace to the people. Only then can you command the four seas and be remembered in history books…”
“Xue Ping’an.”
Li Zhao suddenly raised his hand, his fingertips gently brushing the new white stubble at her temples. His gaze was like a blade quenched in ice, low and dangerous.
“Grand-sounding reasons are nothing but excuses. You might as well say directly that you are not fond enough of me. If you liked me enough, how could you push me away repeatedly and insist on leaving?”
He turned his head, gazing at her, his thumb slowly sliding down, with the rough, calloused skin honed by the winds of the Western Frontier, gently stopping behind her sensitive ear.
The gentle caress sent a subtle tingling sensation through her skin.
His voice also seemed to become hoarse and burning from this action.
“If you truly want to consider me—there is only one way.”
“Your Highness, please speak.” Xue Sui did not dodge, allowing the warmth of his fingertips to press against her skin. Her long eyelashes drooped, concealing the emotions in her eyes.
Li Zhao lowered his gaze, his eyes falling on her pale lips.
“Let me settle all your deep hatreds for you.”
“Your Highness knows it’s impossible.” Xue Sui’s voice lowered, with a hint of helpless sigh.
“You are the Crown Prince, the heir to the throne. Your actions concern the foundation of the state. So many eyes are watching in the Imperial Court, so many forces are waiting for an opportunity. Your Highness… must consider the overall situation.”
“The overall situation?”
Li Zhao chuckled softly, the vibration in his chest brushing her forehead. His gaze was like a torch, and he spoke word by word.
“In my eyes, you are the only overall situation.”
A clear breeze passed through the hall…
It stirred the tassels at the corner of the curtain, carrying an almost suffocating chill…
The air inside the room was ambiguously intertwined.
Xue Sui looked at the ardor in his eyes, and suddenly placed her palm on his firm, warm chest. Through the clothes, she felt the steady, powerful beat of his heart, and a sharp ache rose in her throat.
“Your Highness, I must leave.”
She said softly, her fingers unconsciously curling.
The warmth of his chest remained on them.
“Some things, I must settle myself to truly be free…”
Li Zhao stared at her pale nape, watching the new stubble gleam like pearls in the candlelight. His jawline was pulled taut.
After a long while, he squeezed two words from between his teeth.
“As you wish.”
He released the hand gripping her arm.
As he turned, he caught a glimpse of Xue Sui’s hand clenched into a fist at her side, trembling slightly. He ultimately said nothing and left resolutely.
Xue Sui slowly sat down, as if drained of all strength, feeling a chill surge from the soles of her feet, her limbs numb as if immersed in ice water.
Cold. It was truly cold.
Suddenly, she heard a very faint sound from above.
“Xue Ping’an—”
Her heart leaped, and she met Li Zhao’s gaze.
“Remember, your life belongs to me. You still owe me, and it’s not yet repaid.” Li Zhao’s voice came from the doorway, with a barely perceptible hoarseness.
“If you dare to lose even a single hair, I will tear down the Old Mausoleum Swamp and be buried with you.”
The door creaked open, and the damp, cold wind slowly poured in…
Li Zhao stepped into the courtyard and walked further and further away.
The iron wind chimes at the eaves were violently struck by the strong wind, making a rapid sound, just like the crisp clinking of the jade pendant at his waist when he came through the snow many years ago on that biting snowy night at Pu Ji Temple…
Xue Sui looked at the empty doorway, her plain clothes fluttering in the wind.
Frail and bravely alone, like a female bird about to spread its wings.
–
Xue Sui took her leave at dusk.
A fine rain slanted down, wetting the blue stone slab road.
The sheep horn lanterns cast warm yellow halos, making her face, hidden beneath her black veiled hat, appear pale.
Jinshu looked at her complexion and tightened her grip on the medicine packet.
Xiao Zhao bit her lip and turned back to gently close the door.
Ru Yi, however, couldn’t keep her words to herself. She trotted to catch up, her lantern bumping against Xue Sui’s waist.
“Young Lady, this maidservant sees that the Crown Prince truly cares for you…”
“Ru Yi!” Jinshu stopped her with a stern voice.
Ru Yi made an “oh” sound, pouting, wanting to argue further, but was glared at fiercely by Xiao Zhao, who tugged her, causing her to stumble.
“True feelings should not be let down.”
Xue Sui’s words were as light as the wind.
Carrying an undeniable resolve, they drifted into the unknown night…
“You don’t know how heavy the snow was at Pu Ji Temple that year… If it weren’t for the fox fur coat the Crown Prince threw to me, I would have frozen to death by the rockery.”
She had crawled out of the mud, thinking her life would only hold blood and hatred, but in her dark and hopeless youth, she had encountered the only light in her destiny…
The warmth he gave was too scorching, too much so that she couldn’t bear to disregard the thorns on his path after shouldering the shackles of blood feud…
The warmth of human affection in this world is worth cherishing.
She was merely a shadow stained with blood; she could not tarnish his path to the throne…
“It’s very good here.” Xue Sui said softly, “But it doesn’t belong to me.”
In the courtyard of You Huang Ju, the Love Silk Flowers rustled in the night wind, their red petals falling all over the ground. The figures of the mistress and her servants were stretched long by the lamplight, crushing a ground of light and shadow…
