Chapter 201: Just Doesn’t Love Her
The concept of family status and class was even stronger in the past than it is now.
Old Master Zhong and the elder members of the Zhong family looked down on Lian Jingcheng’s status and were unwilling to let Ji Tan marry him, forcibly taking her away. She resisted, but the strength of one person was always limited.
Ji Tan: “Those years were difficult times. Beneath the calm surface of Sijiucheng, cruel struggles between prominent families were hidden. The Zhong family, to protect themselves, moved everyone abroad except for those essential to remain in the capital. They only began to return gradually five years later.”
Five years…
Lian Li couldn’t help but ask, “When did you return to the country?”
Her question was like a hand pushing open the window of Ji Tan’s heart.
Lian Li’s pupils reflected Ji Tan’s face, and she suddenly realized that the other woman’s unwillingness and vulnerability were like silent spiders, having already spun thick webs in every corner of her heart.
“Ten years ago,” Ji Tan said.
Lian Li’s heart suddenly jolted.
“After returning to the country, I officially changed my name back.” Ji Tan reached out to hold Lian Li’s hand, but Lian Li abruptly stood up and took a step back.
In her panic and confusion, the hem of her skirt brushed against a box on the coffee table. The box lost its balance and instantly spilled onto the floor.
“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry…” Lian Li bent down to pick things up, only to find the square paper tickets on them were very familiar.
Her eyes quickly scanned one ticket after another—they were all concert tickets from the years she had been attending.
A ridiculous thought resurfaced in her mind.
Lian Li’s eyes were filled with moisture. Even though her throat felt blocked by cotton, making it difficult to breathe, she still managed to ask with difficulty, “Did you know all along?”
Did Ji Tan know that Lian Jingcheng had brought his daughter to the Capital City, that Lian Jingcheng had died ten years ago, leaving a twelve-year-old daughter all alone, and that the father and daughter had been looking for her… Did Ji Tan know all of this?
Lian Li hoped Ji Tan would say no, but the other woman slowly nodded.
Lian Li didn’t understand. She had been within her line of sight.
Why did she carefully keep her coins but refuse to acknowledge her? Why did she prepare Taiwanese pastries for her, understand, and even attend her concerts, yet ignore her as a person?
In an instant, Lian Li felt defeated. Her shoulders slumped slightly, and she took a deep, increasingly heavy breath.
Her mother loved Lian Jingcheng, just not her.
Lian Li was dazed. Ji Tan stepped forward and took her hand, finding it unusually cold. “My parents blocked me from finding you. By the time I found you, it was already too late… Your father had passed away, and you had a new life.”
Jin Yan Ting would not mistreat Lian Li.
Lian Li’s life and studies were flourishing at that time, and she seemed to have moved past the grief of her father’s death. No one had the heart to reopen her wounds.
Ji Tan was in pain and didn’t want to drag her daughter down with her.
“I hate my parents, and I hate myself even more. I hate my powerlessness, my inability to resist, my decision to leave, and my failure to return sooner,” Ji Tan’s tone was filled with both reckless courage and endless regret. “If only I had returned a little earlier, perhaps your father wouldn’t have died…”
If she hadn’t left, if Lian Jingcheng hadn’t come to the Capital City to find his wife, if she had returned earlier, if Lian Jingcheng were still alive…
Unfortunately, there are no “ifs” in the world.
Ji Tan hated herself so much that she couldn’t face her own daughter.
She was worried.
What was she worried about?
Worried that I would blame her? Lian Li thought.
Ji Tan gazed at Lian Li’s face, which was surprisingly calm.
Ji Tan held her cold hand. “Lili!”
“I’m very sorry about your story,” Lian Li picked up the concert tickets and placed them on the coffee table. “I should go. Someone is waiting for me outside.”
She pulled her hand away.
Ji Tan stepped closer, but Lian Li still dodged. “I’m sorry, I really must go.”
Ji Tan stared at Lian Li’s pale face. “Lili!”
“I’m fine… Maybe I’ve eaten too much seafood recently and am feeling a bit unwell.” Lian Li pulled down the sleeve of her left arm, covering the red jade bracelet on her slender wrist. “I’m leaving…”
She didn’t know how to address her and paused for two seconds before continuing, “Madam, thank you for your hospitality today. Goodbye.”
Lian Li brushed past Ji Tan. Ji Tan grabbed her arm and examined her expression. “You never gave up looking for me, did you?”
Ji Tan’s voice was choked with emotion and fear.
Lian Li felt a chill run down her spine.
She couldn’t deny it.
She could only keep repeating: Someone is waiting for me, I have to go. Goodbye.
Ji Tan released her hand, her face pale. “Aren’t you staying any longer?”
“No, thank you.” Lian Li’s eyelashes fluttered haphazardly as she mechanically and politely bid farewell. “Madam, thank you for the tea.”
She turned and left without looking back.
Lian Li’s mind involuntarily recalled the look in Ji Tan’s eyes as she watched her leave—she wanted to hug her.
I can’t.
I can’t…
Lian Li’s steps quickened, almost as if she were fleeing in panic.
Seeing her hurry away, the maid glanced at Ji Tan, then at Lian Li. “Miss, I’ll see you out!”
“No, thank you,” Lian Li refused.
The questions that had troubled her for years had been answered.
All she wanted now was to leave quickly; she didn’t want to stay here for another moment.
Not for a single moment.
The tightly shut gate opened from the inside. Jin Shi Yue and Lu Hansheng looked up almost simultaneously.
Lian Li’s steps gradually steadied, but no matter how hard she blinked, her tear-filled eyes couldn’t return to normal.
Jin Shi Yue’s heart felt as if it were clutched by a hand, tightening instantly. He strode towards her.
Lian Li tilted her face up, her long, thick, curled eyelashes fluttering slightly.
Jin Shi Yue raised his hand, his long fingers tucking a stray strand of hair from her forehead behind her ear.
“What are you running for? You missed me so much in just an hour?”
Without waiting for her reply, Jin Shi Yue took off his black jacket and put it on Lian Li.
He put his arm around her shoulder, pulling her into his embrace, and noticed she was trembling slightly.
Jin Shi Yue raised his other hand and casually waved twice at Lu Hansheng. “Let’s go.”
Lu Hansheng watched the retreating figures of Lian Li and Jin Shi Yue thoughtfully, his brow furrowed, his gaze deep.
In less than a moment, someone else emerged from the house.
Lu Hansheng shifted his gaze to Ji Tan, who was standing at the doorway watching Lian Li and Jin Shi Yue leave.
Ji Tan’s expression was no better than Lian Li’s.
“Aunt,” Lu Hansheng walked over and extended his arm as if to support her.
Ji Tan did not react.
Her heart felt as if it had been crushed by the wheels of a car, causing unbearable pain.
The immense regret and pain from the past, now experienced once more, brought no less suffering or remorse.
After Lian Li and Jin Shi Yue were out of sight, Lu Hansheng spoke. “You had no choice, Lili won’t blame you.”
Ji Tan, however, said, “I wish she would blame me.”
Lu Hansheng frowned and said nothing further.
Life is full of ups and downs; the events of the past cannot be judged by present-day thinking. Everyone had their own difficulties. He was not a party involved and could not decide for Ji Tan or Lian Li.
*
The black sedan sped along, its headlights streaking past the window like flowing lines, the city’s neon lights flashing by in a blur.
Lian Li rested her head against the car window, her pupils unfocused as she stared outside. The glass reflected her lost and dejected profile.
It had started raining outside.
Raindrops hit the car window, splashing into a wave.
Jin Shi Yue hooked his arm around her waist, turned her to face him, and embraced her tightly and warmly.
“Tell me about it?”
Lian Li remained silent, burying her face in his shoulder, her fingers tightly gripping his clothes.
“You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” Jin Shi Yue was helpless with her. “We agreed beforehand, no bottling things up alone.”
Lian Li’s tears fell silently, rolling down into his collar, wet and sliding into Jin Shi Yue’s heart.
