Chapter 34: Break Illusions Again
After I broke through my form using that method at that time, I saw my true appearance, and also saw that my past self was merely a cognition pattern filled with mental habits.
Beyond this cognition pattern is the true self.
Because I broke through my form with Buddhist Dharma, I have absolute faith in Buddhist Dharma, and I have absolute faith in the words spoken in the name of Buddha.
I believe that cultivating Buddhism and illuminating the mind to see one’s true nature refers to the self that is no longer controlled by cognitive habits after breaking through form.
My friend died, and I was only sad for a minute before I pulled myself out of the emotions of missing him.
Because I know that my emotions originate from what I think.
I don’t think about his death; I only think about the happy memories of being with him. It’s the same person I’m thinking about, the same good things about him, yet the emotions obtained are different.
Gradually, I discarded all emotions, leaving only joy.
Some people say that Buddha has no discrimination, is joyous about whatever he sees, and has no negative emotions.
Thus, I see all sentient beings, every flower, every blade of grass, every person, every object, and feel joy.
I believe this is bliss, spiritual bliss, because I am no longer bound by the cognitive habits of the mortal world.
Everything looks good to me, and even feeling my breath is beautiful.
I have let go of everything: family, friends, plants, trees, insects, rats, and ants without discrimination.
They are unified with me and have only one designation: life.
In this state of only joy, I also pity the suffering of sentient beings, because they are just like my former self, reincarnating amidst various chaotic thoughts.
One moment they experience immense happiness and go to heaven, the next moment they experience immense pain and go to hell.
They cannot break free from the cage of cognitive patterns; they instinctively think about whatever they encounter, and what they think determines their mental state.
The only difference between them and me is that what I encounter depends on which emotion I want to have, not on the event or the person. It depends only on my ability to freely control my thoughts to think according to my original heart’s arrangement in any situation, switching angles at will to control and obtain the emotions I need.
Although I really want to help others understand this principle, I also know that I cannot forcibly interfere. I can only let them realize this truth themselves.
In my eyes, there is no longer good or bad; good is good, bad is good, living is good, and one day leaving is also good.
At this time, my girlfriend said something to me:
“Can you not be like this? You seem like a completely different person. Whatever I say to you, you just happily say it’s good, with no emotion. It would be better if you just scolded me a few times.”
After hearing this, I was still happy and said nothing, but I did ponder a question.
I asked myself, if I only have joy and no other emotions, is that fair to the people around me? I have cultivated my mind to this point, but they have not. If I only focus on myself, having no trouble or pain, isn’t that also a form of selfishness?
After thinking this, I began to train myself to deliberately distinguish right from wrong, deliberately evoke emotions, deliberately get angry, and so on. Because I had already gotten rid of emotions, I needed to do it deliberately first; once I got used to it, I would return to my previous state.
Just as I thought, after a period of time, I jumped out of the state of only joy again.
I merged the two versions of myself into one. Looking back, it turns out that the bliss spoken of by Buddha is also a form, and I only resided there for a period.
In other words, I used the cognition of Buddhist Dharma to jump out of the cognition of ordinary people, and now I have jumped out of the cognition of Buddhist Dharma as well.
What you can see now, those masters who have few emotions, are happy with everything they do, do not make things difficult for themselves or others, and have no desires or suffering, are those whose hearts reside in bliss.
Because their hearts have no emotion of suffering, only emotions of full joy and compassion for sentient beings.
Through these two instances of breaking through form, I discovered that people are always dwelling in forms. Learning from people means dwelling in human form, learning Buddhism means dwelling in Buddha form, and learning from sentient beings means dwelling in sentient being form.
Buddha says: Buddha has no form, no human form, no self-form, no sentient being form.
Therefore, one does not become a Buddha by learning Buddhism; rather, one can only become a Buddha after not even desiring to become a Buddha.
I continuously absorb various knowledge to study and comprehend, to comprehend what Buddha is, why one should become a Buddha, to comprehend what Dao is, and why one should cultivate the Dao.
How is the spiritual sense used? What is the primordial spirit for?
After another period of study and comprehension, it coincided with many principles I had previously realized through enlightenment.
Here, I will insert some plot points from the TV series “The Way of the Master” to explain.
At that time, Mr. Ding went to Mount Wutai to discuss Dao and wrote a poem:
“To realize Dao, speak not of heaven’s will; to cultivate, seek not the true sutra. One sorrow, one joy, one withering, one flourishing, which past life is destined? The kashaya is inherently not pure, the mortal world does not stain emptiness of nature. The ancient temple’s thousand-year bell, all is a fool’s dream.”
The Master then asked Mr. Ding, “What is the true sutra? If one cultivates without seeking the true sutra, what kind of cultivation is it?”
Mr. Ding said: “The so-called true sutra is the ultimate method that can lead to emptiness and nirvana. It can be understood but not cultivated. Cultivation to become a Buddha is seeking; understanding is illuminating the nature and knowing; cultivation is using actions to govern the nature; realizing Dao is implementing through nature. The enlightened ones create rules from the heart; cultivators use rules to restrain the heart. Those who have faith without verification, though they do not fall into bad karma, still dwell in cause, dwell in effect, dwell in thought, dwell in the mind. Thus, birth and death do not lead to nirvana.”
To put it simply:
To become a Buddha, one can only realize, not cultivate. Cultivation refers to seeking to become a Buddha, to achieve certain things, to ask “how I should…”, which is seeking with a purpose.
Realization is to clearly know within one’s heart the patterns of the mind, to know that thoughts and the true self are not the same thing.
Cultivation is the act of forcibly changing the patterns of thought operation through behaviors such as adhering to precepts and instilling ideas.
Realizing Dao is directly issuing commands from the original heart, that is, from the nature, or fundamentally, from the true self, to change the patterns.
Cultivating through faith can also lead to good karma, meaning it can change bad habits. However, because there is a desire, there is still a self-attachment in the heart, and fundamentally, nothing has changed.
This is like when I broke through my form using Buddhist Dharma before. Before I began cultivating, I discovered that my thoughts were uncontrollable, wandering to various things, which made me very troubled. Thus, I began to doubt that my thoughts were not my true self. To clarify this reason, I started cultivating, which was with purpose.
When I used the methods of the Buddhist School to verify my guess, it was equivalent to borrowing the form of Buddha, entering another form from the original form.
Although I jumped out of the original form, I was still within a form and had not awakened. I only thought I had awakened.
If I had not jumped out again, I would have remained trapped in that form. Although there was no pain, only joy, I had not truly been liberated.
