Chapter 44: Depression
I don’t know if any of you have any understanding of depression as a psychological illness.
Actually, in this humble monk’s opinion, if a depressed person can walk out of their predicament, it is a great opportunity.
Looking back, after setbacks in relationships and physical injury, I had thoughts of giving up on myself.
It might have something to do with my personality; I’m the type of person who becomes more rebellious when I’m at my lowest point.
Simply put, I refuse to accept it.
The fact that I was born into this world is already an incredibly awesome thing! When life was first conceived, hundreds of millions of life forms were competing for a single embryo.
If I could win that, and then be born into this world safely, buddy, tell me, am I awesome or not?
Then, did you come here just as awesomely?
Since you’re here, play a bit longer. You have to leave eventually anyway, so what’s the harm in leaving a little later? What’s the rush?
If your heart feels bad, fix your heart. If your butt hurts, fix your butt.
With someone as awesome as you, how can you let yourself be tormented?
Don’t think depression is such a serious thing. Look it up online; basically, everyone has it, it’s just a matter of severity.
Everyone has it, so what’s there to dwell on? The more you dwell, the less happy you are.
No matter how serious it is, even if you sometimes want to say goodbye, haven’t you ever thought about it? If you’re not afraid of dying, are you afraid of living?
Why be a coward? You’re not living for others. Let others say whatever they want. If you don’t like it, curse them out! It doesn’t matter who they are!
Don’t overthink what others might think of you! That’s just you thinking things up because you’re bored.
Find something you like to do, and to hell with everyone else. Do what makes me happy. Forget about what’s good or bad, I’ll do as I please. I’m not living for you. In my words as Big Brother, if you tell me I should do this, and tell me I should do that, do you think I’ll just accept it? That’s idiotic, dammit!
Don’t be afraid if you have depression. Big Brother tells you, as long as you can conquer yourself and walk out of this predicament, you are a god!
Depression is actually the fastest way to cultivate immortality. Don’t believe me? Look at those who have overcome depression; haven’t they all been reborn?
What you couldn’t get over before, what you couldn’t bear, becomes nothing once you come out. Nothing matters!
My concept of cultivating immortality is to consider nothing to be a big deal under any circumstances. If a friend dies, they die. Remember the good things about them.
If a dog dies, it dies. I’ll help it achieve salvation. What can’t be overcome? What is there to worry or fuss about? We think so much, isn’t it just because we are too kind? Isn’t it because being too kind makes us easily hurt?
If you’re afraid of interacting with people, we won’t interact with them. Cultivate the Dao with me.
With me here, what are you afraid of? I’m someone who can even defeat my own mind patterns. I’ll teach you to conquer yourself and control yourself.
If you say someone annoys you, or influences you, I’ll teach you how to use the laws of human nature to defeat them.
You are all like gods, just like me. Why are you tormenting yourselves in your own minds? Come out, and let’s talk in a happier direction together.
I’m still like a child. Even in my thirties, I still ride children’s toy cars when I’m bored. Uh, I’m actually over thirty, I don’t even keep track of that.
I’ve always considered myself to be in my twenties. I do whatever makes me happy. Thinking too much is just tormenting yourself, isn’t that silly? Why think about those things?
Get better immediately! Don’t feel like doing anything is meaningless. That’s because you haven’t met me. If you hang out with me, everything will be meaningful.
Do you know how awesome I am? If I can’t beat someone in a game, I’ll secretly go poop at their place, and sometimes I’ll even use explosives to bomb them, hahaha.
I have no choice; if I can’t beat them, I’ll be cunning.
I can also sing, and I’m very charming. Every time I pick up the microphone, I feel like I instantly transform into a deeply affectionate little prince. I have to make at least one or two people cry, otherwise, it wouldn’t show how awesome I am.
I’m the type of person who lives for today and worries about tomorrow when it comes. I primarily go with whatever feels right.
I deeply understand the state of feeling like everything is meaningless, feeling incredibly lost and pained, and feeling like nothing has any significance.
If you hang out with me, things will be interesting. If anyone bullies you, I’ll take you to their rooftop in the middle of the night to poop. I’ll poop a load in the first half of the night, and another two loads in the second half. Before we go, I must have a bowl of not-so-clean spicy hot pot. If I don’t get diarrhea, it’ll be because Big Brother is spoiling them!
With Big Brother here, what are you afraid of? If you’re afraid of ghosts, I eat ghosts. If you’re afraid of gods, I catch gods. Don’t believe me? Go ask around. Which younger brother or sister who hangs out with me do I not protect like my own child?
The legendary “protective of one’s own” refers to people like me.
Mortals, don’t be afraid. Ghosts and gods, no need to be afraid either. And all those who practice Buddhism, cultivate the Dao, or practice spirit mediumship, don’t be afraid of any of them. Big Brother can take them all on.
Don’t tell me about the immortal behind them being a dragon, or whatever immortal is behind them. Damn it! Go ask Brother Jesus if he’s afraid of me, and that’ll be that.
If you try to show off to me, even Jesus can’t save you, I said it! One lightning incantation and I’ll make their ancestral graves smoke.
In short, just stick with Big Brother. If you don’t do well, then find the reasons yourself. Hahaha.
Don’t feel like life’s pressure is too much, oh dear, feeling like you can’t breathe. Can you fart? If you can fart, it means you still have vitality, so say less discouraging things.
Read this with Big Brother: “I am f***ing awesome, I was always awesome, I’ve been awesome since I was a child! Things that ordinary people can’t do don’t mean I can’t do them, because I am not an ordinary person! Whoever I want to be, I’ll be!”
Don’t tell me about feeling bad and then burning yourself with cigarettes or cutting your arm. Big Brother did that when he was young and reckless, what kind of ability is that?
When Big Brother takes you to poop on someone else’s rooftop, then think about it, who is it worse to bully than to bully ourselves? That’s being a big idiot, isn’t it?
Just remember this! There’s no problem that one load of feces can’t solve. If there is, then just poop a few more loads.
Who said that line? Life is not just the melodrama in front of you, but also the feces we leave on other people’s houses. Hehe, just stink them out. Haha.
Family, friends, strangers, let them say whatever they want. What they say can’t stop us from pooping or farting, right?
If I like what I hear, I’ll listen. If I don’t like it, it’s just air.
We are self-strengthening, our spirit is unmatched. Don’t look down on ourselves just because we haven’t achieved much yet.
There are only three people in this world worthy of your admiration: your father, your mother, because these two created life for us.
The third is ourselves, because we were born with an awesome aura.
We’re not even afraid of death, so why would we be afraid of living? What can’t we do? What can’t we accomplish?
If we haven’t accomplished something yet, it’s because we haven’t studied or thought or acted seriously! Once we get serious, achieving a few miracles is not a problem.
Whether it’s a younger brother or a younger sister, do you know what you’re lacking now? You lack the courage to be as awesome as Big Brother! If you don’t have it, if you feel like you can’t do it, then open your mouth, and Big Brother will blow some into you, （ only for younger sisters ）. Don’t think Big Brother’s breath smells bad. Big Brother brushes his teeth on time. If it really smells bad, maybe Big Brother ate stinky tofu, so please don’t mind. Haha. Cheer up! You are a god, why are you pretending to be a son of a bitch!
