Chapter 47: Make Him Eat Feces For Me
The next morning, Old Dog and I each had a bowl of tofu pudding and two fried dough sticks. Then, we took a long bus ride, followed by a minivan, and finally a motorcycle, all the way to the brick-making machine. After more than two hours of arduous travel, my butt felt so sore it must have gotten fat, but we finally arrived at Old Dog’s village.
Upon arriving at the village, I first met with Old Dog’s parents and the village chief.
Afterwards, I asked Gouzi to prepare some things for me, like dog feces, rooster comb blood, high-proof baijiu, and cinnabar.
I don’t know how that kid has been getting by all these years, but he didn’t gather all these items until it was almost time for dinner that evening.
After casually drawing a few talismans and making some other preparations, at nine o’clock that night, Old Dog and I directly staked out the doorway of Teacher Wu’s house.
In the afternoon, I had inquired with the village chief about Teacher Wu’s situation. This Teacher Wu’s real name is Wu Sheng; he is exactly fifty this year. He used to be a teacher at the town’s middle school in his early years, but then, for some reason, he quit and returned to the village. He never got married and doesn’t have many loved ones around him. Encountering such a situation, he is truly quite pitiable.
Time passed quickly, and in the blink of an eye, it was past eleven o’clock at night, which is the Zi Hour.
Just as I expected, Wu Sheng emerged from his house, completely naked, hopping and skipping.
Under the moonlight, we two looked at him. Wu Sheng had disheveled hair, and his entire being gave off an eerie feeling.
I could even see wisps of green light constantly spreading outwards from various parts of his body, clearly a sign of external evil possessing him.
Of course, Old Dog couldn’t see these things.
However, this scene alone was enough to make him feel terrified, and he was already at a loss for words from fear.
If I weren’t standing here, that kid would have probably run away long ago.
Upon seeing the two of us, Wu Sheng stood in place, his expression shifting from its original dullness to something peculiar, and he let out a strange, cackling laugh.
The sound made my scalp tingle and my whole body feel uncomfortable.
Damn it! Is this guy showing off to me?
Laughing? Laughing at your grandmother, you brat?
Seeing the idiot Wu Sheng appear, my expression changed, and I shouted, “How unrestrained! Bold evil spirit! Retreat quickly upon seeing this humble monk!”
“Jie jie jie, whose dog child are you? How dare you meddle in this Lord’s affairs!”
Hearing my words, Wu Sheng, while cackling strangely, mocked me.
Damn it, this guy really doesn’t take Laozi seriously!
I suppressed the anger in my heart and continued,
“No matter who you are, I’m telling you, the mortal world is not a place for you to run rampant. If you leave now, there’s still time! Otherwise, don’t blame this humble monk for not giving you an opportunity!”
I don’t know how others handle things, and I haven’t seen it, but when I handle things, out of compassion,
I usually try to persuade them a couple of times. If the other party is sensible and retreats, then fine. If not, hmph!
“If I don’t leave, what can you do to me? You brat with no hair on your chin, let me see how you don’t give me an opportunity?”
Damn, this guy’s mouth is really tough.
Hearing this, I stopped wasting my breath with him.
“Old Dog!”
After shouting for Old Dog, I charged forward myself.
“Heaven and Earth Without Limit, Heaven and Earth Borrow Law, Divine Weapon, Swift as Decree! Release!”
While chanting the incantation, I pulled talismans from my pocket and threw them rapidly at Wu Sheng.
“Bang bang bang!”
This external evil is not weak; its movements are very agile. Each time, just as the talisman was about to touch his body, he would immediately dodge.
But it doesn’t matter, this was all within my calculations.
Just then, Old Dog took out two pieces of dog feces and threw them at Wu Sheng. The dog feces scattered in the air like a celestial maiden scattering flowers.
They hit Wu Sheng with “pattering” sounds,
“Ahhh!”
A burst of sparks flew, and Wu Sheng was blown back, emitting black smoke.
Seeing this, Old Dog’s eyes lit up, and his heart rejoiced.
He truly didn’t expect that the dog feces processed by me would have such a magical effect. When they hit Wu Sheng, it was like the snap-and-pop firecrackers we played with as kids, making Wu Sheng grimace and yelp.
Seeing the miraculous effect, Old Dog didn’t stop his actions and continuously threw dog feces at Wu Sheng.
Hehe, it’s a joke to think so. This dog feces is my exclusive blend, made by mixing rooster comb blood, high-proof baijiu, and cinnabar with dog feces.
Among these, rooster comb blood, cinnabar, and high-proof baijiu are all utmost yang items, which inherently counteract yin and evil. As for dog feces, in Chinese herbal medicine, it’s called “Xū Fù Mǐ” (dog-bellied rice) and has the effect of treating indigestion and irregular menstruation. Of course, I added it not to condition the body of the yin entity, but purely because of the stench of dog feces.
Imagine it, three utmost yang items plus the volatile stench of feces, tsk tsk tsk, even a ghost king would be afraid.
Wu Sheng was forced to retreat steadily under Old Dog’s attack. Old Dog, however, was not as afraid as before; instead, he seemed a bit excited.
“Hahaha, hey! Monster, don’t run! Behold my dog-feces incantation, from your dog-lord!”
“Pīlipīlipāpāpā…”
Well, those who know understand that I brought Old Dog out to fight ghosts. Those who don’t might think Old Dog is a closed-door disciple of some high master from the mountains. Come to think of it, if Old Dog were wearing a Daoist robe right now, with his chubby build, he would indeed look quite imposing.
Seeing Old Dog fighting with great excitement, I didn’t rush to act. The main reason was to give Old Dog an opportunity to gain experience. Let’s say, when people do things more often, they will definitely improve. Especially courage, the more you use it, the bigger it gets.
Ten minutes later, Wu Sheng knelt on the ground, trembling.
“Grandfather, grandfather, grandfather, I, I, I know I was wrong. I’ll leave now, don’t, don’t, don’t hit me anymore.”
“Slap!”
Without a word, I delivered a big slap to Wu Sheng’s face.
“What? You recognize me now? I gave you an opportunity and you couldn’t use it? Huh? I gave you an opportunity and you couldn’t use it? Still showing off?”
Actually, logically speaking, most external evils, if they can’t win, can at least escape. Once they leave the human body, that’s it.
However, I had already anticipated this. Among the twelve zodiac animals, the dog belongs to yin, so dog feces are also yin entities. Yin entities have an adsorption effect on other yin entities, which is the opposite of the common principle of opposite sexes attracting. Ghosts and monsters are generally attracted to those of the same sex and repelled by those of the opposite sex. At this moment, for it to try to escape from Wu Sheng, who was covered in the smell of dog feces, was obviously impossible.
Seeing me question him, the entity possessing Wu Sheng timidly lowered its head and dared not answer.
“Slap!”
“Your mother! Bold evil spirit! Didn’t you hear my Big Brother asking you a question? Are you seeking death?”
Seeing that the evil spirit wasn’t speaking, Old Dog, imitating me, gave him a slap and asked fiercely.
I don’t know if this guy was scared by Old Dog, but when Old Dog asked him, he was very obedient.
“I’m not showing off anymore, I, I, I was wrong. I won’t dare to do it again.”
Oh dear, he speaking back was even worse. Seeing that Old Dog’s words were more effective than mine, I became even more infuriated. I thought to myself, is this guy really that foolish? Doesn’t he even know the difference between major and minor kings?
“Slap slap slap!”
“I’ll slap your mother! You’re wrong, your mother’s ass!”
“Old Dog, feed him some feces.”
