Chapter 51: Evil Cult
After hearing Xiao Du’s broadcast, unlike me, Old Dog listened with a dazed expression.
He couldn’t help but ask me,
“Old Ghost, what the hell is a cult?”
“Fuck, you don’t even know that? It’s just a bunch of demons pretending to be gods to deceive the world, harm living beings, and so on!”
While I was having this dialogue with Old Dog, I didn’t hide it at all from these livestock opposite us.
Upon hearing my conversation with Old Dog, the members of the Disciples Society all revealed malicious, wicked smiles.
The White-Haired Old Man leading them, though still wearing a grandmotherly smile, his mouth wasn’t honest at all.
“Young man, God will punish your ignorance, but as long as you sincerely repent, the Almighty God will save your soul, Amen!”
Oh dear, I can’t believe this old bastard is trying to brainwash me!
Fuck! He’s talking, Big Brother has been around for so many years, and I’m still going to let you guys brainwash me?
Hearing the old bastard’s brainwashing rhetoric, I felt a bit playful for a moment and couldn’t help but say with a wicked smile;
“Hello, this foreign old bastard, have you ever heard of Amway?”
Hearing my words, this group of cult scoundrels all showed confused expressions, thinking I was talking about some god and wanting to proselytize them like they do.
Since Xue Pan had been a ghost for many years, he didn’t understand what I meant. Old Dog, however, held back for a long time before finally being unable to resist bursting into laughter.
“Hahaha, Old Ghost, it’s all thanks to you, hahaha.”
His laughter didn’t matter much, but those big idiots opposite us instantly understood that I was playing them.
They all drew various unknown weapons from their waists and were ready to attack directly.
Even the White-Haired Old Man standing at the very front slowly took out a red-skinned Bible from his arms.
Seeing this posture, I gestured for Xue Pan and Old Dog to act according to the situation. Judging by the weapons of the opponents, they seemed to be a combination of warriors and magicians.
Just then, the old bastard glanced at me, then bowed his head, flipped open the Bible, and began to chant;
“Oh death, where is your victory? Oh death, where is your sting?…”
As soon as the old bastard’s words were sung out. The entire sky instantly darkened, and countless strong winds appeared all around, continuously howling.
This scene scared Xue Pan, the lecherous ghost, into being at a loss, but out of loyalty, he did not choose to run.
Similarly, Old Dog was also quite scared at this moment. Of course, you can’t blame them; who wouldn’t be afraid in such a situation?
However, after spending a long time with me, Old Dog’s aura was clearly very different from before.
Although he was still afraid, if observed carefully, there was a trace of stubbornness hidden in the depths of his eyes.
Moreover, after more than half a month of continuous practice of the Eightfold Vajra Technique, Old Dog’s overall quality, essence, qi, and spirit had all improved considerably.
I was very calm, hmph, just kidding, ever since I attained enlightenment, I haven’t known the meaning of the word fear.
Damn it! Since ancient times, the strongest secret manual in the immortal cultivation world is: strike first to gain the advantage, strike later to suffer. I can’t wait for them to finish their pre-attack gestures.
That’s something an idiot would do, cough cough cough.
While the White-Haired Old Man was chanting intently.
Suddenly, I pretended to be greatly alarmed, pointed towards the sky above these idiots, and exclaimed; “Follow me! GO! GO! UFO!”
As expected, these foreigners have this habit; as soon as they hear this, they can’t help but look back.
Hahaha, fuck! If not now, then when?
“I’m going to your mother’s, you old bastard!”
Big Brother, I seized the opportunity and delivered a flying kick directly towards the White-Haired Old Man’s face. I’m not bragging! The force of this kick alone sent the old bastard flying seven or eight meters away, landing with a “thud” into a smelly ditch by the roadside.
As quick as lightning. I then hurriedly turned around and gave the cultist closest to me a big slap,
“What the hell! You’re all too much!”
Of course, Old Dog and Xue Pan behind me were not idle either. They rushed forward, following me.
Not to mention anything else, just look at the dog feces falling all over the place, indiscriminately hitting friend or foe. It should be easy to guess that Old Dog was a bit flustered in this fight. Several times, Xue Pan was strangling a cultist’s neck, only to be startled by the dog feces thrown by Old Dog, making him grin and curse;
“Damn it, Brother Gou! Watch where you’re throwing!”
“Holy shit, there are so many people, how can I watch? Holy shit.”
Just as I was slightly distracted, observing the situation, “I’ll be damned!”
“Sss!”
Dammit, a cultist successfully sneak attacked me, using something that felt like a knife or an iron rod, and directly stabbed me in the buttock!
Feeling the pain, I gritted my teeth and fiercely kicked the person in front of me away.
I suddenly turned around to glare at the scoundrel who attacked me.
If there were a mirror now, I would definitely see my own face looking as evil as a demon.
Goddammit, fighting is fighting, why the hell did you stab me in the butt?
The more I thought about it, the more furious I became.
I reached out, grabbed the scoundrel who sneak attacked me by the collar, and gave him a barrage of blows,
After dazing him, I threw him to the ground with an over-the-shoulder throw, and then took out my Demon Subduing Pestle and pounded his buttocks.
Fuck! It’s just that I didn’t bring chili oil, but if I had brought a bottle of Lao Gan Ma, I would have made sure he had a lifelong unforgettable bad memory.
“I’m going to your mother’s! I’m going to your mother’s! I’m letting you stab my butt, letting you stab my butt!”
The cultist whose buttocks I was incessantly stabbing let out a pig-like scream, a sound that made everyone present tremble in their hearts and break out in cold sweat.
They all dodged me from a distance as if avoiding the plague god.
Even the White-Haired Old Man, who had finally crawled out of the ditch, seeing my ferocious act, quietly squatted back into the ditch.
He had originally planned to use some magic to sneak attack me. Now he had directly activated the “Amen” blessing prayer mode.
“Lord, God, Amitabha, protect me, let this demon go to hell, please don’t let him see me! Demons and monsters, go away, demons and monsters, go away…”
I…
Let’s say, the leading cult leaders in typical novels and TV shows are usually very tough and very powerful.
Why is it that the one I encountered seems like a fake, or a shoddy product, how come he’s not as brave as a minor soldier?
It makes sense, though. Ordinary people fear nothing when they have nothing, but as soon as they achieve something, they truly cherish their lives!
“Puchi puchi puchi!” The cultist whose buttocks I had stabbed forty-nine hundred and seventy-seven times was foaming at the mouth and fainted with oil oozing from his buttocks.
With bloodshot eyes, I turned to look at the others.
Two little brats, avoiding my gaze and not daring to meet my eyes, turned and went towards Xue Pan.
However, a few were quite bold and dared to have their backs to me.
They were currently kicking Old Dog in a circle.
Heh~! Fuck! They really have some guts!
A wicked smile appeared at the corner of my mouth.
I quietly walked behind these few people,
“Puchi puchi puchi puchi puchi puchi~!” “Hey~! Intelligent and clever!”
I struck like lightning, fast and precise, one pestle each to the buttocks, then a cold glint arrived first, followed by the spear like a dragon~!
“Ahhhhhhhhhhhh~!”
“Ahhhhhhhhhhh~!”
“Ah-shi-di-ah-shi-dao, ah-shi-di-ge-dao~!”
“Ah-shi-di-ah-shi-di-ge-dao~!”
Miserable cries continuously echoed in the arena, rising and falling, like Teacher Gong Linna’s famous divine song.
Those who knew what was happening thought they were fighting, but those who didn’t would think Teacher Gong Linna had come for a concert.
Old Dog reacted at this moment, and seeing the scoundrels kicking him being pinned to the ground by me and getting poked one by one. Good heavens, this kid directly took dog feces and stuffed it into their buttocks.
While stuffing it, he also grumbled fiercely; “I’ll let you bully your Dog Lord! I’ll let you bully your Dog Lord! Damn you, I’m stuffing feces into you!”
Unlike us brothers, Xue Pan’s side was a bit more tragic.
The remaining five cultists who dared not confront me propped up Xue Pan, intending to give Xue Pan a “five scoundrels divided by one ghost” rhythm.
Fuck! Seeing this scene, I quickly called out to Gouzi.
“Old Dog~!”
After I called out to Old Dog, I abandoned tormenting the ones on the ground.
I rushed over to save Xue Pan.
“I hey! Vajra pestle to the buttocks!”
Old Dog followed closely behind,
“I ha! Fierce dog stuffs feces!”
I pestle one, Old Dog stuffs one, I pestle one, Old Dog stuffs one. After a set of coordinated attacks, except for two who discovered it in time and ran fast without suffering harm, the other three were directly pestled to tears.
I think they must be regretting it madly in their hearts, shouting;
“Wuwuwu! Wuwuwu~! I will never believe in cults again, I want to go home, ahhh! Mom, Huaxia cultivators are too scary!”
