Chapter 53: Let’s Eat Some Appetizers To Condition
The battle continued for over half an hour. My two brothers and I were beaten black and blue by this monster, to the point where we didn’t even look human anymore.
Honestly, even Xue Pan, a ghost, had wet himself more than ten times. You can imagine how intense the battle was.
After narrowly dodging the monster’s attack, I gasped for air, trying to stay calm.
Any fellow Daoist who reads often will understand that in critical moments, it’s essential to keep a clear head. Only then can you find the enemy’s weaknesses and seize an opportunity to deliver a fatal blow.
I raised my hand, wiping the blood from the corner of my mouth, and carefully analyzed the monster.
This monster before me had thick skin and astonishing defense. Trying to break through its external defenses was clearly a fool’s dream.
I originally thought about doing something with its gaping maw that it opened from time to time, but every time I saw its sharp fangs, I immediately abandoned the idea.
It’s not that I wanted to, but honestly, I really didn’t dare to attack. What if I missed and it got crippled! What would happen if it bit my arm?
After much thought, the only weakness this thing might have is its chrysanthemum.
Because every time my brother Gou and I attacked it, it didn’t seem to care, not even letting out a fart.
Only the damage Xue Pan inflicted on it caused it to whimper a few times.
From the sound, it was not difficult to tell that this monster was definitely in a lot of pain.
Just then, Xue Pan, who was lying on the monster’s butt, was forcefully flung away by the monster.
Seeing this, I was overjoyed. Damn it, a golden opportunity!
After all, as a big brother, I am an excellent talent who is good at seizing opportunities, so I definitely couldn’t let such a good chance slip away.
So, I exerted force with both legs and suddenly accelerated.
“Killing blow! Chan Xin pierces the chrysanthemum~!”
“Sizzle!”
Perhaps it was because I used too much force, or perhaps it was because I rushed too fast.
As a big brother, both of my arms instantly submerged completely into the monster’s chrysanthemum.
“Awoo~!”
The monster cried out in pain with an earth-shattering roar.
Then, before I could even pull my arms out, I felt its chrysanthemum tighten.
Uh! Damn it, I’m stuck!
My heart leaped in alarm! It’s over! This thing better not sit on me! If such a large butt sat on me, even if it didn’t kill this big brother, it would definitely cripple me!
At this critical moment of life and death, to my surprise, my little brother, comrade Gou, exploded with the power of the primeval universe. He leaped more than five meters high and, while the monster was roaring in pain, steadily stuffed a piece of exorcism dog feces into it!
After the dog feces entered the monster’s mouth, it made a “sizzling” corrosive sound.
The monster instantly spewed black smoke from its mouth and gagged violently.
“Pfft!”
I don’t know if the monster did it intentionally or not,
With a push, a green fart directly blew both my arms out.
Along with me, I was sent flying back over twenty meters.
Damn it, luckily I have the ability to perceive danger. I instinctively reacted at the first moment and stored a breath of Innate Qi in my abdomen. Otherwise, this big brother would have been so choked by this fart that I would have ascended to heaven immediately.
After Brother Gou’s successful attack, Xue Pan followed closely. Using his advantage as a spirit body, he dove into the monster’s chrysanthemum through the opening I had expanded.
Afterwards, as expected, with our coordinated efforts from both inside and outside, we successfully sent the monster to the Western Bliss.
Cough, cough, cough.
Of course, the main credit goes to Xue Pan. After all, if it hadn’t been for him to cause damage from the inside, it would have been difficult for us to succeed.
Although we won and saved Golden Toad.
However, after this incident.
I don’t know what I was thinking, but I always felt that Xue Pan was definitely a bit abnormal in his heart.
Think about it, what kind of ghost likes to drill into a chrysanthemum?
What kind of hobby does this guy have? If he’s not screwing monsters with his dick, he’s drilling into their chrysanthemums.
Every time I recall this scene, I feel a chill, making me deliberately avoid him. Even when he smiles kindly at me upon seeing me, my heart pounds, and I involuntarily clench my anus.
I thought to myself, damn your old balls, if you dare to have any ideas about me, don’t talk about being brothers, you’re my biological father, and I’ll still bash your head and fart on you. If I don’t make your soul scatter and condemn you to eternal damnation, then I’m not Chan Xin.
Later, when my injuries had almost recovered, Golden Toad arranged a thank-you drink. While drinking, I realized that I had truly judged Xue Pan by my own standards and looked down on a ghost.
Because after Xue Pan got drunk, he cried and said to me and Brother Gou: “Brother Xin, Brother Gou, I know that ever since the three of us saved Golden Brother and fought that monster, you two have been disgusted with me and deliberately avoiding me. *Sniffle*, honestly, it’s not that I’m being emotional because I’ve had a few drinks today.
My brother doesn’t have any perversions. You two think about it, I, Xue Pan, am nothing. I’m just an ordinary lecherous ghost. What can I do when I fight others? Do you think I wanted to screw it? I wanted to drill in? Damn it, that stupid monster’s skin is so thick, we can’t harm it from the outside. For you and Brother Gou, and to save Golden Brother, if I don’t drill into the chrysanthemum, who will? If I don’t go in and disintegrate it from the inside, can we have a chance of success? *Sob sob sob*…”
After hearing this, my old face turned red, and I felt deeply ashamed. What Xue Pan said made sense! If it weren’t for Xue Pan, let alone being able to sit here and drink, it’s debatable whether I would even be alive.
Damn it, thinking about how I, as the elder brother, could think of my brother like that. Yes, although Xue Pan is a lecherous ghost, ever since I met this brother, he has always been a good ghost with good taste in lechery and moderation in drilling chrysanthemums. Moreover, he is very loyal. Just based on the fact that he helped Li Meng punish that beast Wu Sheng, this ghost is not a bad ghost, but a good ghost with great righteousness in his heart.
How could I have thought of him like that?
Thinking of this, I raised my hand and slapped myself twice.
I apologized to Xue Pan and said, “I’m sorry, brother, my mind was narrow. I was wrong.”
“Hey! What are you doing, Ah Xin!”
Golden Toad quickly reached out to stop me. So did Xue Pan.
Xue Pan said, “What’s past is past. What are you doing, Brother Xin? Can brothers still pick on you? No matter how you see me, just because you helped me save Golden Brother, you, Chan Xin, will always be my great brother for life!”
Hearing this, I was truly moved to tears. I haven’t had many good brothers among the living, but unexpectedly, after cultivating immortality, I made good buddies among ghosts. Life is like this, what more could one ask for!
Seeing me like this, I don’t know if Brother Gou was drunk or if some wire in his brain snapped. Maybe he wanted to be sentimental like me.
He didn’t say a word, but directly took out two handfuls of dog feces from his pocket and stuffed them into his mouth. Not only did he stuff them in, but he also chewed them.
This scene left Golden Toad, Xue Pan, and me three stunned.
Brother Gou saw the three of us staring at him blankly, and no one spoke. His awkward face turned red.
He probably didn’t expect that none of us would try to stop him.
So, awkwardly, he opened his mouth and said, “Uh, well, these past two days, as Dog Lord, I’ve been observing the celestial phenomena and found that my maternal uncle is coming. I’m afraid of pain, so I’m eating some abdominal rice to condition myself, Hahaha…”
The three of us…
