Chapter 67: Xue Pan Reforms And Becomes A Good Citizen
However, after I sobered up, I realized it wasn’t a dream after all.
Holy crap! Isn’t that great then?
I won’t dare say I’ll be amazing in the Immortal Realm in the future, but to be amazing in the mortal world and the underworld, Big Brother, it’s not wrong for me to say that, is it?
Cough cough cough.
I don’t know if it’s the confidence my godfather gave me, or if my cultivation has taken a leap forward again.
Big Brother, my heart, it feels so comfortable! So arrogant.
Now, when I go out, I see everyone as a mere target or a common dog, not worth mentioning!
If I encounter an old great cultivator like Third Uncle again, I won’t even need to fight him. I’ll just reveal my identity as King Yama’s godson, hehe.
Damn it! Who dares to touch me? Are they tired of living or what?
Of course, this is only for people in the Immortal Cultivation World. If I see an old woman from the village chasing me with a kitchen knife, I’ll have to run.
As the old saying goes, a hero never fights with women. A cultivator doesn’t fight with mortals. Big Brother is quite self-aware of this.
If I break this principle, it won’t be long before I fall into demonic ways.
After this incident, Old Second and Old Third didn’t change much, but to my surprise, the most unruly Old Fourth, Xue Pan, underwent a great change in his state of mind.
I don’t know if it’s because Mother Skin, Huang Luoshi, used some trick on him, or if she’s just living too good a life and has him wrapped around her finger.
Suddenly, Old Fourth found me and said, “Big Brother, I want to reform and become a good citizen. I won’t go out and fool around anymore. I want to live a good life with Huang Luoshi.”
At first, I was a little worried that my foolish brother might be confused. If he was so infatuated with Huang Luoshi that he didn’t know right from wrong and did something outrageous, I, as his Big Brother, would have a serious headache.
Also, I’ve heard of old prostitutes reforming, but I’ve never heard of old lechers reforming!
However, a few days later, my heart settled down considerably.
Because Xue Pan has indeed become honest. Not only does he not go out at night anymore, but he also bought a few large cows to raise.
I heard he wants to raise cows and sell milk, and live a good life from now on.
Since buying the large cows, this guy has truly changed. He gets up early and goes to bed late, cleaning up the cow dung and diligently adding fodder.
If I didn’t know Xue Pan’s character, I would have thought this guy was originally a simple and diligent honest fellow.
I originally thought that Xue Pan being like this was also quite good. At least he’s become more honest and knows how to live a stable life.
Who knew that after Xue Pan started raising cows, he squeezed milk every day for three months, but no milk came out. Therefore, he specifically went to learn, but in the end, he didn’t succeed.
However, after all, Xue Pan is very persistent. Whether he can squeeze milk out or not, he still insists on squeezing diligently every day.
Until one day, his large cow couldn’t take it anymore and was squeezed into speaking.
“Moo moo! Oh, for your mother’s sake! Stop squeezing! I’m a bull! Moo moo!”
This angered Xue Pan so much! He immediately wanted to kill the cow in anger and said, “I’ve been squeezing for three months, why didn’t you say so earlier? Fuck!”
Because of this incident, my two brothers and I laughed for more than half a month.
Fortunately, Xue Pan was not discouraged. After selling the large cow, he started raising dogs. This time, the kid learned to be smart. He specifically collected dog feces, dried them, and sold them to Chinese herbal medicine shops. Although he couldn’t earn much money, it was enough to support his and Huang Luoshi’s daily life.
Normally, Mother Skin, Huang Luoshi, should be held accountable for Wu Sheng’s death by the underworld. However, since she is with my Fourth Brother, I, as his Big Brother, cannot just watch my sister-in-law get caught, can I?
Through my connections, the underworld has temporarily granted a reprieve, sentencing him to five years of probation. If he doesn’t make any more mistakes during this period, then this matter will be considered over.
It can be said that the couple living such a life is quite good, but as everyone knows, Old Dog’s greatest hobby is collecting dog feces every day. Now that Xue Pan is raising dogs, Old Dog often comes to stroll around. At first, he was polite and would greet Xue Pan.
“Fourth Brother! Uh, Third Brother is taking some of your dog feces, okay? Third Brother will use it.”
Xue Pan was also very generous and didn’t say anything.
“Okay, Third Brother, take it if you need it! It’s all our own, no need to be so polite with your brother.”
Anyone who knew better would understand Xue Pan’s sincere and polite words.
But that Old Dog, whether he’s truly foolish or pretends to be, actually took these words seriously and came to Xue Pan’s place to take dog feces every day.
Later, he stopped greeting them and just took them and left.
This caused Xue Pan and his wife to argue all day long.
“You, Xue Pan! I can’t live like this with you anymore! Look at the kind of brother you have! Don’t you know our family makes a living by selling dog feces? Why don’t you understand right from wrong and let him take our dog feces every day? If he took a little every few days, I wouldn’t say anything! But he takes it every day! Xue Pan, I fuck your mother, I can’t live like this with you!”
“Hey! Luoshi, what are you saying? You can say whatever you want about me! Don’t talk about my Third Brother! You know my Third Brother isn’t a good person, why are you arguing with him? Sigh… At worst, I’ll talk to him later and ask him to take less, won’t that solve it?”
After much persuasion, Xue Pan managed to stabilize Huang Luoshi’s emotions.
However, out of brotherly affection, although he said he would talk to Old Dog, every time Old Dog came, he couldn’t bear to hurt his brother’s feelings.
Sigh… To me, Xue Pan is simply overthinking. Nowadays, caring too much about face and reputation only makes yourself suffer; only by being shameless can you take advantage.
Later, when there was really no other way, Xue Pan came to me and told me about it. I called Old Dog over for a private talk.
“I’m your damn father! Do you have any decency as an elder brother? It’s already difficult enough for Old Fourth and his wife to make a living selling dog feces! You, damn it, instead of helping them as an elder brother, why are you always taking advantage of them?”
Old Dog’s face turned awkward after being scolded by me, but after he quickly recovered, he still forcibly argued.
“I didn’t! Old Fourth said I could use it. Why are you scolding me, old ghost? Besides, Old Fourth and his wife haven’t said anything… you…”
Fine, I can’t say anything. They, the couple, haven’t said anything, so what can I say?
“Alright, alright, Big Brother is wrong, you can take whatever you want from now on, I don’t care anymore.”
I thought after I said that, this guy wouldn’t go anymore, right? But he still went. In the end, Xue Pan was at his wit’s end. With a gritting of teeth and stomping of feet, he sold the dogs again.
He started collecting scrap, all day long riding a backwards-pedaling donkey cart and shouting: “Collecting old furniture, washing machines, tape recorders, scrap copper and iron!”
Fuck, this life is worse than before. Before, at least I could eat without worrying about anyone else. Now, trying to live a good life is even harder.
Of course, this is definitely related to the shamelessness of the brothers around me.
But, what can I say? …
