Chapter 102:
She steadied her emotions and mocked, “How hard is it to get a true word from you, Young Master Lu? Of course I want to hear the truth.”
As if he hadn’t heard her sarcasm, Lu Ziyan gave her a deep look.
Admitting to the girl he loved his extreme affection beyond ordinary people indeed required courage; his face rarely showed a hint of hesitation.
“The truth is,” after hesitating for a long time, he spoke with difficulty, “I want you to have only me in your heart and eyes… only trust me, only care about me, without anyone else distracting your attention.”
Not only that, he also wanted all the emotions of this girl—whether joy or anger, sadness or sorrow—to arise because of him and perish because of him.
She was too good to that maidservant.
So good that he couldn’t bear to watch.
So good that he felt jealousy and hatred.
He himself couldn’t yet obtain her gentle smile, but that maidservant saw it every day.
He had seen how she got along with that maidservant; they chatted intimately, their tones relaxed, trusting each other.
That day, he finally caught that maidservant’s mistake, and the killing intent he had hidden for so long could no longer be endured; he almost didn’t think twice before giving the order.
His hands were stained with countless blood, and he had done many wrong things; the beings who died by his hand were good and bad alike, and he had never regretted it.
Only this matter made him wish he were dead; every time he thought of it, he regretted it beyond measure.
In those days when she was gone, he often wondered if he had been gentler, if he hadn’t been so intolerant of the people close to her, if she hadn’t suffered suffocation from anger, would she not have been poisoned so quickly.
Seven Heart Attraction was not incurable; he could always think of a way, always save her life.
But at that time, he was blinded by jealousy and hatred; the consequence of this matter was that she was poisoned deeply and died in anger.
If he had foreseen such a tragic outcome, no matter how much jealousy and hatred he felt, he absolutely would not have touched that maidservant at all.
He had only just revealed the tip of the iceberg of his deformed possessiveness, yet Xie Wanning was already stunned.
No matter what, she could never have imagined the reason was this.
“You just can’t stand to see me doing well? Er Qing is the only one left by my side who says considerate words to me, you…”
Her eyes slowly widened, “Do you know how I survived those months in the family temple?”
Without Er Qing to accompany her in conversation, she would probably have been driven mad by the prison-like dull loneliness.
“…I know,” Lu Ziyan nodded with a bitter smile, “I’ve dreamed of it. I’ve regretted it, Wanwan. I regret it beyond measure.”
He regretted leaving her in the family temple, turning a flower-like young lady silent and reticent, no longer loving to smile or speak.
It was truly absurd.
Er Qing died so tragically, all because she was loyal enough, considerate enough.
Enough good to her.
In that loneliness and despair, she had only that bit of warmth, and he couldn’t tolerate it.
This was the love he spoke of.
Too absurd.
Her gaze was too cold; Lu Ziyan felt sourness at his heart’s tip from her look, pulling a bitter smile at his lips. “Wanwan, I really know I was wrong. Can you give me an opportunity to make amends?”
How did he have the face to ask such a question!
Xie Wanning’s body stiffened as she endured again and again, finally unable to hold back and raising her hand to slap him.
“If you executed her because she caused Lu Yunpei to be injured, that reason would be more acceptable to me than this one.”
“If you were harmed to this extent by someone, would you give him another chance to hurt you?”
Actually, a boudoir girl’s feeble punches and kicks—even if Lu Ziyan were injured more severely, he could dodge them and counter effortlessly—but he only instinctively raised his wrist a little before instantly stopping.
So, this slap landed solidly on his face.
They say don’t hit the face when beating someone; this was Lu Ziyan’s first time being slapped in two lifetimes, and she didn’t hold back her strength—clear finger marks appeared on his handsome face.
Xie Wanning didn’t expect him not to dodge; after the slap, her heart inevitably panicked a bit, her fingertips trembling from the force, soon gripped by him.
“Does it hurt?” Lu Ziyan lowered his eyes to her reddened fingertip, the white onion-like joints showing red spots prominently; he gently rubbed it and said indifferently, “If you want to punish me, no need to do it yourself—what if you hurt yourself? Just say the word, and I’ll do it myself.”
“Divorce him and stay by my side; you can punish me anytime, how about that?” His tone was calm, with a hint of seduction. “What I owe you, you come collect it yourself; I won’t resist.”
His rough fingertip slowly massaged her fingertip; Xie Wanning curled her fingers to withdraw her hand, but he straightened them one by one.
Their ten fingers intertwined; it surprisingly looked a bit like vines growing together under an old tree, inseparable.
The thought just flashed through her mind when she subconsciously frowned. “I don’t want that! I don’t want any entanglement with you anymore.”
His fingertip was still moving slowly; Xie Wanning grew impatient and, unable to pull her fingers free, simply dug her nails into him.
Not holding back at all, her neatly trimmed nails nearly dug into his flesh.
Threads of pain spread; Lu Ziyan not only wasn’t annoyed but showed a strange light in his eyes, leaning down to peck and kiss her fingertip, startling Xie Wanning into crying out.
Hearing her voice, he regained some reason; his reddened eyes lifted slightly as he smiled gently at her, sighing lowly, “Wanwan, you’re right; I do seem a bit like a beast.”
His voice was low and hoarse, laced with lingering affection, the ending tone rising slightly; paired with his stern face, it was indeed vividly alluring.
But Xie Wanning wasn’t seduced at all; she was stunned, her expression indescribable.
Panic, resistance, detest, and disbelief that there was such a shameless person in the world.
There was such a shameless person in the world!
“Don’t look at me like that,” Lu Ziyan was thick-skinned; he didn’t feel embarrassed at all, just a bit hard to endure.
Over two lifetimes combined, how long had he abstained from sex—even his soul wanted to hold her.
If not afraid of angering her, he could act even more recklessly; by now, he would have already…
“If you knew what you mean to me, you’d understand we’re destined to entangle for life.”
His gaze was focused, his eyes still tinged with red from unfulfilled desire. “I can never accept you as another man’s wife, Wanwan. Divorce him.”
When he said this, his expression was fairly calm, but the stubbornness in it was enough to chill the heart.
Xie Wanning’s whole body stiffened first, then a wordless anger rose.
“What if I refuse?” she said. “Whether you can accept it is none of my business; why should I divorce because of one sentence from you?”
Lu Ziyan pursed his lips, looking at her quietly.
Xie Wanning met his gaze fearlessly and smiled. “If I refuse to divorce, what will you do to me?”
The room fell quiet; the person opposite didn’t speak for a long time.
Xie Wanning continued, “Are you planning to trap me here for a few days, wait for rumors to spread in the capital city until my reputation is ruined, then release me, forcing Pei Yuqing to reluctantly divorce me, and marry me back as my savior?”
“No, no,” she shook her head repeatedly with a cold smile. “With your style, perhaps you’d be even harsher.”
Lu Ziyan’s gaze turned fierce. “Shut up!”
Xie Wanning naturally wouldn’t shut up; staring at his icy expression, she said word by word, “Beast, you wouldn’t be thinking of raping a good woman, would you?”
“…” Lu Ziyan’s jaw clenched; he was actually amused to anger by her.
“Deliberately provoking me? No matter; you can describe me as even more despicable. Anyway, I’m willing to be a beast in front of you.”
He lifted her jaw, pinching it to raise it, lowering his eyes to smile at her. “You forgot how comfortable this beast can make you.”
“Comfortable?” Xie Wanning smiled faintly too. “I only feel disgusted.”
…Disgusted.
Lu Ziyan took a deep breath; the joints of his fingers gripping her jaw trembled slightly.
After a long time, he properly suppressed all his emotions, his voice softening.
“What will it take for you to divorce him? Me kneeling to beg you?”
He paused, then said, “No matter how much I owe you, it’s between us two. However you want to punish me, just say it—don’t drag a third person in; that’s no fun.”
He couldn’t stand a third person between them.
Even if that person hadn’t touched her.
But they had shared a bed for three days—an ironclad fact.
She had shared a bed with another man, facing each other day and night.
Even, they had intimately kissed in the carriage.
That was the one time he witnessed; in the days they spent together out of his sight, how many more such intimacies had there been?
The man who hadn’t been angered by repeated cold mockery now paled from his own imaginings.
But Xie Wanning was oblivious; she said, “Give up; no matter what, I won’t divorce him. Our entanglement from the past life is already thoroughly severed; now I just want to live my days peacefully.”
The truth of the past life was bizarre and hateful, but no matter the truth, she had already died once; she was too tired.
Love, hate, resentment, grudges—those emotions were too complex; she didn’t want to experience any of them again.
“Why?” Lu Ziyan looked puzzled. “Your marriage to him wasn’t…”
Xie Wanning quickly interrupted, “My marriage to Pei Yuqing was of my own will; not to revenge you or avoid you, as you think.”
“Is that so?” Lu Ziyan asked lowly, his hand on her jaw tightening slightly, his voice hoarse. “Then why haven’t you consummated?”
Xie Wanning was slightly stunned by the question, about to speak when her lips were pressed by his fingertip, stopping her.
“Don’t speak first; let me guess,” he thought, then sneered. “Don’t tell me he can’t get it up.”
Such a topic repulsed Xie Wanning; she instinctively tried to turn her face away, but Lu Ziyan wouldn’t let her; his hand on her jaw didn’t move an inch.
He leaned down, eyes fixed on hers; their gazes met.
Three days—they had shared a bed for a full three days.
If she truly married of her own heart, if they were in love, who could endure not touching their wife for three days.
Either she was unwilling, or that sickly person couldn’t; no third possibility.
He had thought the former before; now it seemed the latter.
She was willing!
No matter the outcome, she was willing to be intimate with another man.
Lu Ziyan’s gaze darkened as he forced a smile. “You really like him, huh?”
His smile was ferocious; Xie Wanning was terrified, her hand instinctively gripping her sleeve.
The jade hairpin hidden there gave her some courage.
If not clarified, he might pester her for life.
Thinking this, Xie Wanning suppressed her panic and softly hummed, “I like him; I like him very much.”
Her voice trembled from nervousness, light and powerless, but this soft sentence was like a thunderbolt to Lu Ziyan.
Sweetness surged in his throat, swallowed hard; his scarlet eyes glared at her like a cornered fierce beast.
After a long time, he said lowly, “He can’t get it up, and you still like him?”
Xie Wanning’s heart flared with anger; she snapped heavily, “Yes, even if he can’t, I like him; I just like him!”
“Like what about him? That face?” Lu Ziyan’s cheek muscles twitched slightly; when he spoke again, residual blood trickled from his lip corner, his teeth stained red.
His voice suppressed, “Shall I destroy it?”
“Lu Ziyan!”
“Good girl, shout softer,” Lu Ziyan chuckled lowly. “So reluctant? If I destroy that face, will you still like him?”
“!!!” Xie Wanning glared furiously. “Of course I…”
Before she finished, the red-eyed man had already leaned down, kissing her rosy lips.
He had wanted to do this for so long, wanted to cover the traces left by another man.
How forcefully must they have kissed for her lips to still be swollen like this.
The forcibly suppressed sourness surged again.
Uncontrollably, an image flashed in his mind of her held in that sickly person’s arms, passionately kissing.
She was willing!
She willingly let that sickly person hold her in his arms!
Lu Ziyan hated it to death!
He couldn’t bear to blame the girl in his arms, so he could only blame that old man who had nothing but a face.
Sickly person.
Such a waste dared to stir his Wanwan’s heart!
The sudden pain on his tongue tip only paused him for an instant.
He then plunged in without restraint, entangling deeply.
Xie Wanning’s back pressed against the windowsill; her pushing hands were pinned above her head by one of his, her jaw controlled by his other hand, her legs suppressed by his approaching body.
Her whole person, except for her pried-open teeth, couldn’t struggle at all.
This could no longer be called a kiss.
This was biting!
Her one-sided biting.
The full mouth of bloody smell was his.
But the man before her seemed to feel no pain, kissing with focused passion.
Xie Wanning’s tongue tip was kissed numb.
In the end, her legs went weak and she couldn’t stand; held in his arms by his waist, even her teeth lost strength.
After an unknown time, he finally released her lips, kissing away the moisture overflowing at her lip bit by bit, forehead against hers as he panted lowly.
“Don’t… let him kiss you again.” His muscles were tense all over, aroused to the extreme; the forcibly endured desire leaked from his voice.
“I’ve experienced thoroughly how it felt for you then; it really is unbearable… but I’ve never kissed anyone else like this.”
Yet you truly had intimate whispers with another man.
