Chapter 104:
Lu Ziyan lit two red candles in one go, turned back to glance at her, then walked to the table by himself and sat down.
His fingertip lightly tapped the tabletop twice before he finally spoke, “I was wrong just now. Whether you believe it or not, I didn’t mean to harm you.”
Even he felt these words were pale and powerless as he said them, and Xie Wanning just sneered coldly to herself.
Her lips and tongue were still numb at the moment.
Perhaps to him, “no harm” meant not stripping her naked or committing rape or coercion.
Lu Ziyan had also thought of this.
He tugged at the corner of his lips, pulling at the wound she had just bitten open, paused slightly, and said, “In that dream, I was always by your side and knew about many of your misunderstandings of me.”
He raised his hand to pour himself a cup of tea, barely calming his emotions, and continued, “Let me explain one more time for myself: from beginning to end, I have always regarded you as my own wife, never with the slightest disrespectful intention. Don’t wrongly accuse me of treating you as a concubine for my pleasure.”
As he spoke, he raised his eyes to look at the person by the window, his tone strange as he said, “Who treats a concubine taken for pleasure like…”
“Shut up!” Xie Wanning could not bear to hear him mention those absurd bedroom matters again.
Lu Ziyan obediently stopped talking. He could see her emotions on the verge of collapse and truly dared not provoke her.
But in his heart, he felt some grievance at being wronged, so he muttered a quiet defense for himself, “Clearly, it has always only been me serving you…”
Under her icy gaze, he said no more.
They fell silent again, quiet for a moment, then he pointed to the chair opposite, “Aren’t you tired standing there? Sit for a while?”
Xie Wanning ignored him completely.
She had already seen through his stubborn, unyielding nature.
No matter how heartlessly she spoke, he could always deflect with ease. As long as he was unwilling to let go, she was destined to be entangled by him for life.
He would not care about her thoughts or her wishes; he only cared about his own feelings.
To think she had loved such a man for an entire lifetime.
Lu Ziyan did not know he had disappointed his beloved once again. Seeing her still standing motionless by the window, he frowned slightly and said, “If you don’t want to come over, that’s fine, but at least change your position. The wind is strong there.”
The nighttime autumn wind grew even cooler, blowing in through the unclosed window pane. Xie Wanning felt the chill sweeping across her back; it was indeed cold.
The image of her past life, weakly confined to a sickbed, was still fresh before her eyes. She cherished her current healthy body greatly—no one would willingly make things hard for themselves unless driven to desperation.
The girl hesitated for a few breaths before carefully shifting to the side a little.
Her uneasy, constrained manner made Lu Ziyan feel both pity and bitterness.
He wanted nothing more than to pull her over and warm her body, but he did not dare.
She had spoken so ruthlessly; he could not tell how much of it was true heart and how much was angry words.
But Lu Ziyan knew very well that he did need to give her an explanation.
He could not let her hold this grudge in one breath like this.
A competent general never fought unprepared battles, but when facing her, he could never be at ease, never single-mindedly advance step by step. A single disgusted gaze from her was enough to rout him completely, leaving him without reason.
Lu Ziyan smiled bitterly in his heart, pinched the bridge of his nose, and slowly said, “You say you like being with Pei Yuqing, and I can understand that. It’s because I’m not gentle enough, not considerate enough toward you, so a little tenderness moves you. That’s not your fault.”
The fault lay with that sickly person.
“But Wanwan, everything I just said to you is the truth. As long as I’m alive, I cannot watch you being intimate with another man, let alone become a couple, sharing a bed.”
“This is my own stubbornness, my inner demon binding me,” he said. “But I have no choice. If I could, I would not want to live as such a madman. As long as I am alive, I cannot leave you, cannot let you go, and only want you.”
She already understood just how mad this man was.
Hearing such words again, Xie Wanning’s expression was as calm as a still pond.
She parted her lips lightly, “What do you want?”
To trap her here and force her to divorce?
Or go find trouble with Pei Yuqing?
At worst, he would take her purity here, in this room.
She was not afraid.
At most, it would be mutual destruction; she could pretend she had never lived.
A dark flame ignited in her eyes, and Lu Ziyan saw it clearly. His breathing hitched as he said, “What do you want, Wanwan? The choice is in your hands.”
“I have done many wrong things and paid a painful price. In the end, you’re right—it’s I who let you down, I who owe you. But even the most heinous criminal deserves a formal sentence.”
At this point, he lifted his chin and asked, “What kind of punishment do you plan to sentence me to?”
Hearing this, Xie Wanning almost instinctively said, “Death penalty. Go die.”
Lu Ziyan’s expression did not change as he slowly nodded, “You’re right. I owe Er Qing her life, and I should pay it to you.”
He opened a hidden compartment, took out a dagger from inside, tossed it on the table, and gave her a slight smile, “Wanwan, come and take it.”
Xie Wanning stood in place, motionless, clearly not believing it in the slightest.
“Once you’ve made your choice, come over.”
Lu Ziyan lowered his eyes, no longer looking at her, and said, “My love for you is true; no one in the world will love you more than I do. Take this as the last conscience of this madman of mine.”
He said indifferently, “I remind you, this is your only chance to get rid of me.”
“Come over now, pick up this dagger, and kill me—then you’ll be free for life. You can start a new life, without a disgusting man like me coveting you.”
At this point, he seemed to think of something and chuckled lowly, “You do understand me. Toward you, I am indeed in heat all the time.”
Xie Wanning recognized the dagger on the table; she even had an identical one.
At fourteen, her snow blindness had healed, and Lu Ziyan had just returned. At that time, she was searching everywhere for the scholar who had played the qin to soothe her, and he had thrown a huge tantrum.
Normally, she would definitely consider her fiancé’s feelings first, but that time, she unusually refused to yield and insisted on finding the person.
Lu Ziyan was so angry he did not speak to her for a long time, but she ignored it.
In the end, she did not find the person, and on top of that, she had a big quarrel with her fiancé.
It was nearing the year-end then; the two families exchanged New Year’s gifts, and with several invitations from the Lu Family, she had not even had the face to step through his family’s door.
Finally, Lu Ziyan took the initiative to come to the Xie Family to find her. He did not mention the previous matter again but gave her a dagger, saying it was her New Year’s gift.
They made up, and neither mentioned the unnamed scholar who had caused their quarrel.
That was also one of the rare times in Xie Wanning’s memory that Lu Ziyan had yielded.
She just had not expected that the dagger was actually a pair?
Two chapters complete~~
