Chapter 56:
“That winter when I was fourteen, I suffered from snow blindness and could not see. I came specifically to the farmhouse to recover from illness. There, I met an elder brother. He was knowledgeable and erudite, played the qin exceptionally well, and taught me to play the qin. Several times he saw me about to cry and, to coax me, read books to me and told me stories.”
She paused for a moment and said, “Even my father wasn’t so patient with me.”
Pei Yuqing’s lip corner twitched slightly, his eyes showing helplessness.
Xie Wanning ignored him and continued, “After my eye illness healed and I could see again, he disappeared. I didn’t know his age or his identity. I only remember he told me his name was Pei Changqing.”
“I searched through all the tenant farmers in the manor and the nearby village, but there was no Pei family. He was so learned, so he certainly wasn’t from an ordinary farming family. I thought he was at least a scholar, so I searched the surrounding academies, but still found nothing.”
As she spoke, she raised her eyes to look at him and asked, “Was that Pei Changqing you?”
Pei Yuqing was silent for a few breaths, then slowly nodded in acknowledgment. “It was me.”
Xie Wanning’s tone carried accusation. “Why did you disappear back then?”
“…” Pei Yuqing paused slightly and said, “You had a fiancé you were wholeheartedly devoted to. It wasn’t appropriate for me to associate with you too closely.”
He was utterly candid, so candid that it left Xie Wanning somewhat stunned.
She remembered the winter two years ago, that half month when she suffered from snow blindness. Her eyes were covered, and the world had no color. She had come to the farmhouse to recuperate.
At that time, it was approaching the year-end. Her parents were busy with affairs, and her elder brother, the new third scholar, had entered court as an official. They had no time to stay by her side constantly and could only visit the farmhouse occasionally when they had time.
That summer, Lu Ziyan had been ordered to follow the First Prince to Lingnan. When he left, he only said he would return before the new year.
So, in the deep winter, with her suffering from an eye illness, besides two close maidservants by her side, she had no family or loved ones to accompany her.
The letters she wrote to Lu Ziyan never received a reply. Normally, she didn’t feel much about it, but when ill, people are always especially fragile.
Xie Wanning several times forgot about her eye illness and felt so aggrieved that she wanted to cry.
It was Pei Changqing who inexplicably appeared, gently and meticulously coaxing her, patiently diverting her attention so she wouldn’t feel sad or frightened.
He accompanied her through those days.
When Lu Ziyan returned to the capital and came to the farmhouse to see her, her eye illness had just healed, and she could remove the white silk that had always covered her eyes.
But after Lu Ziyan appeared, she could no longer find that person no matter what.
Seeing her go to such great lengths to search for a man, Lu Ziyan even got angry.
For once, Xie Wanning rarely disregarded his feelings and stubbornly searched every nearby village, but found nothing and had no choice but to give up.
Thinking of that year-end when she searched everywhere for him, Xie Wanning’s eyes reddened slightly. She glared at him stubbornly.
Pei Yuqing couldn’t bear to see her looking so aggrieved. His wrist almost instinctively lifted, wanting to stroke her clear and bright eyes to coax her.
Once reason returned, he stopped his movement. After a long while, he moved his lips and explained, “I couldn’t let my existence affect you.”
During that time, she treated him like an elder brother, trusted him completely without any defenses, and shared many of her heart matters.
She said how much she liked the Lu Family Young Master, that they had an early engagement, and after she came of age, they would set the wedding date and marry.
He had seen Lu Ziyan. Not yet twenty, he could already be solely responsible, an extremely outstanding youth.
In terms of birth, ability, age, character, and appearance, he was unparalleled among the rising stars in the capital city.
Their marriage would be one of the capital’s renowned golden matches.
While he was eleven years older than her, frail and often ill, afflicted with a heart condition since childhood, liable to die at any moment from heart overload, not destined for a long life.
How could he dare appear before her in such a state?
His original plan was simply to watch her happily marry and have children.
This was the young lady at the tip of his heart. If Lu Ziyan treated her better, was more patient, didn’t always hurt her, didn’t keep a concubine, he never would have appeared before her.
Xie Wanning blinked gently. “Why did you think you would affect me?”
Pei Yuqing looked at her quietly, silent for a long time. Xie Wanning just waited, as if determined to get an answer.
After an unknown time, he lowered his eyes and said, “Do you think I can affect you now?”
Xie Wanning: “…”
She was stunned for a moment and finally understood his meaning.
He thought that after seeing him back then, she might…
Xie Wanning’s lip corner moved slightly. She hadn’t expected this man to be so confident.
However, it was undeniable that when she first saw him, she was truly stunned by his appearance.
Her little expressions were very lively. Pei Yuqing watched for a while and asked, “What do you want me to promise?”
“…” Xie Wanning fell silent. She had worked hard to lay the groundwork all evening, and he asked so directly.
She hesitated for a few breaths but still couldn’t say it outright.
Last time, she had been rejected by him once…
But thinking of that aggressive Lu Ziyan, she steeled her heart and said, “Can’t you tell?”
Pei Yuqing’s expression paused slightly, somewhat dazed.
Xie Wanning pursed lips and simply said straightforwardly, “Have you ever thought about getting married?”
She emphasized, “With me.”
Pei Yuqing’s eyelashes trembled. He awkwardly turned his face away, not looking at her. “I’ve never thought about it…”
“Elder Brother Changqing,” Xie Wanning interrupted him gently. “Think carefully. I asked you this question once before, and you rejected me. This is the last time. Are you sure you still want to reject me?”
She lowered her head, her gaze falling on their overlapping shadows. “If you reject me, I won’t be able to speak to you calmly in the future.”
What young lady could have no resentment toward a man who rejected her twice in a row?
The fingers hidden in his sleeve slowly curled. In Pei Yuqing’s lowered eyes, there was full of struggle.
Xie Wanning couldn’t sense his mood. Seeing him silent for so long, disappointment surged over her again.
She felt she was ridiculous for forcing him repeatedly.
Having lost both face and dignity, she couldn’t stay any longer and turned to leave.
“Wanwan…” Pei Yuqing called to her, his voice trembling slightly. “If you’re doing this to avoid Lu Ziyan… and want to marry, there’s no need… Even if you don’t marry me, I won’t stand by idly.”
Xie Wanning’s steps halted. She stopped turning and raised her eyes to look at him. “You know what Lu Ziyan did to me at your residence last time, right?”
Although he arrived after Lu Ziyan had stopped his indecent act, he had said those filthy words.
Something about it tasting good…
She pointed to her lips. “He kissed me.”
The palm in his sleeve clenched fiercely. Pei Yuqing lowered his eyes, his gaze falling on her beautiful lip shape, the emotion in his eyes unclear.
