Chapter 82:
Xie Wanning had always known that Lu Ziyan’s hands were also very good-looking, with slender finger bones and broad palms, giving a strong sense of security just by looking at them.
But at this moment, his outstretched left hand was covered in blood, the blood flowing down from the wound on his arm, sticky and bright red.
This hand unhesitatingly grasped her skirt hem, little by little staining her dress dirty.
His mouth kept obsessively repeating that sentence “Come home with me.”
Looking at the man kneeling before her, covered in blood, Xie Wanning didn’t know what her expression was like now, but she knew her heart actually felt very bad.
She had once thought that the Lu Ziyan in her dream treated her so poorly, and even if he died right in front of her, it would be what he deserved.
She absolutely would not shed a single tear for him.
But at this moment, he was even covered in blood and kneeling before her, yet she didn’t feel the relief of great vengeance achieved; instead, her heart clenched, faintly aching dully.
The affection grown up together could not be faked; even if she wanted to sever all ties with him, she seemed unable to just watch him humbly embarrassed, falling from the clouds into the dust.
How could Lu Ziyan weakly plead with others? He should be proudly overlooking the world, majestic and awe-inspiring.
Xie Wanning blinked, holding back the sourness in her nasal cavity, and again thought of the Lu Ziyan in her dream whose eyes were dead silent, staring straight at her old clothes.
……Had she really done wrong?
Perhaps she shouldn’t have rushed into marriage; at least she should have given him a buffer time, waiting for their feelings to completely end before talking about others.
But if he hadn’t repeatedly forced her, how could she have……
She quietly looked at the skirt hem gripped tightly by him, then Xie Wanning slowly squatted down, meeting his eyes at the same level.
No cold mockery, no impatient annoyance; her gaze was calm, like facing a familiar friend.
“Lu Ziyan,” she softly called his name, even her tone very gentle, “I don’t know why you’ve suddenly become so obsessed with me; after all, these years, you haven’t cared much about our engagement, but we really can’t go back. Accept reality.”
“I cared, I’ve always cared,” the hand gripping her skirt corner moved upward, this time grasping her wrist; Lu Ziyan explained in a trembling voice: “I just cared too much about my face, didn’t want people to think I was greedy for romantic love……I was wrong……I won’t care about my face anymore from now on.”
He seemed extremely aggrieved; with a ‘clang,’ he even let go of the spear his right hand had been holding.
Both hands together grasped the young lady’s hand and placed it at his lips to kiss, his tone accusatory: “In the days approaching the wedding date, I was always counting the days, yet you broke off the engagement just like that.”
Xie Wanning’s fingers curled up, instinctively wanting to pull away, but she froze upon hearing his later words.
She suddenly remembered that day in the back garden of Wuyuan Marquis’s Estate, by the rose flower wall, after Lu Ziyan heard she wanted to break off the engagement, he had coldly rebuked that marriage was not child’s play, there were still fifty-one days until their wedding date, and told her not to throw a temper tantrum.
At the time, she hadn’t thought much of it, but under his words now, she finally reacted.
What he said might be true; he really was counting the days every day, looking forward to the wedding date.
……What kind of thing was this?
Clearly he liked her too, clearly cared about the marriage too, clearly had no concubine, hadn’t touched any other woman, yet he could say so many ruthless words, making her entire passionate affection turn completely cold.
She still remembered the chill in her heart that day when she discovered everything in the dream was true and heard his repeated questioning.
If it was because he was young and cared about face, not knowing how to please his beloved, then why could she unhesitatingly and frankly admit her feelings, chasing the person she liked with a heart full of true heart?
Once the marriage was set, she never cared about others’ views.
She was even two years younger than him.
The long-lost sourness came again; Xie Wanning sniffed, shaking her head: “Too late, I’ve already married someone else.”
“Not too late,” Lu Ziyan held her hand, burying his face into her palm, his voice muffled: “As long as you come home with me, it’s never too late.”
The man’s scorching hot breath paired with the newly sprouted stubble pricking her palm made it a bit itchy; Xie Wanning frowned, opening her mouth to speak, but then felt liquid flowing from her palm to her fingertip……
Her fingertip trembled; realizing what it was, her slightly parted lips froze, and after a moment, she said dryly: “Pei Yuqing and I have completed the wedding rites.”
Lu Ziyan hummed, “It’s fine, I don’t care.”
“I care,” Xie Wanning said: “The wedding ceremony is done; not only did we bow to heaven and earth and parents, we also drank the cross-cup wine. We’ve completed all the procedures a new couple should. I’m already the legitimate Pei Family wife; what home would I return to with you?”
……What home would I return to with you?
“Pei Family wife?” Lu Ziyan’s teeth clenched, suddenly lifting his eyes to grip the back of her neck, staring at her for a few breaths before coldly smiling: “Don’t you remember what you yourself said?”
He gritted his teeth: “You once said in this lifetime you’d marry no one but me, Lu Ziyan; you said it three times. Do I need to remind you under what circumstances?”
“…” Xie Wanning pursed her lips silently; she had meant it every time she said it, so how could she not remember.
The first time was at fourteen; that year’s spring hunt, Lu Ziyan hunted a pure white fox, its fur truly beautiful, even the imperial consort in the imperial palace wanted it for a scarf, but he didn’t give it.
The fur of that white fox later was given to Xie Wanning to make a pair of hand warmers.
She was never a young lady stingy with expressing her feelings; upon receiving the gift, she smiled and praised him for being great.
Lu Ziyan had just started leading troops then, the killing aura around him not yet so heavy, and not as cold as later; hearing this, he even half-smiled and asked: “How great?”
Xie Wanning said: “So great that if I can’t marry you in this lifetime, it would be far from perfection.”
At that time, the Xie and Lu Families interacted frequently, with deep ties; their engagement had been set for four years, steady as Mount Tai.
But Lu Ziyan still straightened his expression upon hearing it, rebuking her not to speak nonsense.
Xie Wanning didn’t take it to heart, still smiling: “Brother Ziyan, in this lifetime, I’ll marry no one but you.”
As for the second time……
Xie Wanning closed her eyes, not recalling further.
Over so many years between them, of course there were warm times together; if not for his hot and cold, distant and near behavior, how could she have sunk deeper and deeper.
If he had always been cold as ice, never treating her differently, she would have given up long ago; in the dream, she wouldn’t have been certain he had feelings for her and insisted on marrying into the Lu Family, ending up with a miserable death.
All these rights and wrongs, in the end, she hadn’t wronged him.
Perhaps in the dream of their past life, he had betrayed her, he had taken her life; for self-preservation, what was wrong with her taking another path?
On what grounds did he judge her as the betrayer!
