Chapter 56: Repaying Debt for Father
Feng Gao looked at me and said, “Elder Sister, he is severely injured and cannot have run far. If Elder Sister insists on finding him, then I…”
The night wind rustled the mulberry tree in the courtyard.
I sat on the bed where Cheng Huaishi had slept. After a long while, I waved my hand at him and said, “No need to look for him.”
Feng Gao sat beside me, his eyes showing a mixture of relief and uncertainty. He asked, “Elder Sister, why do you say that?”
I said, “Before going to prison, he wrote a divorce letter, in duplicate. One copy was entrusted to He Ming to give to me, and the other was sent all the way to the elders of the Cheng family. His intention to divorce his wife was absolute. You managed to rescue him from the death row, and I held onto a sliver of hope, wanting to escape with him to some remote, deserted place and live a life like a paradise. But he chose to go through the flames with Miss Xun. Dou Ya, from that moment on, Elder Sister knew that it was impossible with him. There was suffering in his eyes, and the common people were in his heart; he could never live a reclusive life. He is not a wicked person, never has been. It’s just that, as things stand, fate has decreed it, and my destiny with him is over.”
Once upon a time, on the bed. We chatted about storybooks like 《Jade Hall Spring’s Misfortune Meets Husband》.
He said with great resolve that Young Master Wang should part ways amicably with Miss Su.
Today, he and I have both become characters in a story.
Is it not so?
Feng Gao tightly gripped my cold hand.
“Elder Sister is not involved in the imperial court and doesn’t have so many complicated thoughts. From the beginning until now, I only wanted to stick to my duty and grow old with the one I love. He achieved high honors and became an official; I never thought I would gain glory through my husband. He fell into misfortune and was sentenced to death; I never thought of protecting myself alone. If he were to have wealth in this life, I would manage the household for him; if we had to beg, I would call out for alms. There is nothing that cannot be done. But he was determined to abandon me. I will go along with his wishes.” As I laughed, my lips felt as if they were coated with bitter herbs.
My marriage with Cheng Huaishi had always felt crowded.
From the moment Xun Yitang stopped my horse carriage outside Bright Moon Lake in Yangzhou, I knew her relationship with Cheng Huaishi was not ordinary.
One-third of the world’s bright moon shines, and two-thirds illuminate Yangzhou alone. The vast Yangzhou Prefecture could not contain such profound affection.
Cheng Huaishi never dared to face this issue directly. He always said that she was his mentor’s daughter, and taking care of her was merely a responsibility.
I believed him.
But standing before the raging fire at Peach Blossom Nunnery, I was dazed and confused. Who did he truly love?
Alas.
Alas.
Everything I could and should have done, I have done.
Feng Gao said cautiously, “It is best that Elder Sister can see things clearly. Cheng Huaishi is now a dead man in name, unable to engage in business or officialdom, and has severe burns that have disfigured him. He is no different from a cripple. It is likely he did not wish to implicate Elder Sister. Elder Sister, whoever you like, I will bring them to you. It doesn’t matter who it is; I think it’s all the same. Your happiness is what matters most.”
“Silly. Marital fate is something that can be encountered but not sought. How can it be brought here just by saying so? Elder Sister is now a discarded wife; I don’t wish to think about matters of romance. Living my own life well is enough.”
He lowered his head and said, “There is something that, after much thought, I still want to tell Elder Sister.”
“What is it?”
“Wang Yuzhen is dead.”
I looked at him.
He said, “I didn’t kill her. I later found out the truth about Dou Ya. I wished I could have cut her into a thousand pieces. When the Cheng family had their troubles, Cheng Cangshi fled back to the Cheng family’s shop in Jicheng, and Wang Yuzhen was taken back to Fuliang by her family. I sent people to Fuliang, and her family was holding her funeral. They said she was punished by Old Madam Cheng’s family law, and with the arduous journey, she couldn’t hold on and died. It was too easy for her.”
Dou Ya is a scar on my heart.
I dare not mention it, dare not touch it.
She was in my womb for months, connected to me by blood. Once gone, she vanished without a trace.
Dou Ya’s new green shoots, cherries ripe and red. Half the spring’s beauty passes, mostly amidst the sound of rain.
Loss of a child. Divorce letter.
All hope is gone.
This night, I dreamt of my mother repeatedly.
Moments of trivial, ordinary happiness with her in the Zhu family.
She taught me to paint, sewed clothes for me, and took me to the counter to busy myself with the affairs of the Zhu family’s flower wine.
She picked up her brush and wrote a plaque for the Zhu family: “A pot of wine among flowers.”
She was always so gentle, so capable.
She gave me all the motherly love within her power, so much so that I never doubted I was her biological daughter.
Sang Yu is not late, Ning Yue is like the wind.
The water of the Grand Canal, vast and surging.
I silently made a decision in my heart.
I must return to the Zhu family to repay my mother’s years of nurturing kindness.
The next morning, Feng Gao went to the yamen and instructed the servants at the private residence not to let me get up, telling them to let me rest well. I slept until mid-morning, then got up and returned to the Cheng Residence with Xiao Yin.
Qin Mingxu was waiting for me outside the door.
“Sang Yu, outside Donghua Gate, a new breakfast shop has opened. The owner is from Shandong and makes excellent noodle soup. I’ll take you to eat.” He smiled eagerly.
“No, thank you,” I said.
“Let’s go, let’s go, together. You haven’t had a good meal in a while. What can dispel worries but good food?”
He pulled me into the horse carriage without further ado: “Sang Yu, I have something important to tell you.”
He seemed to have returned to how he was when we first met, when he was treating my foot.
In the horse carriage.
I asked him, “What is it? Tell me.”
“About the Zhu family.”
He said, “The Zhu family’s business is not covering its expenses. Last month, Zhu Xifeng caused trouble in a brothel and got into a fight with the son of the prefect of Dongchang Prefecture over a singer. The prefect is pressing hard and demanding a large sum of compensation. Master Zhu had no choice but to mortgage his house.”
“Has it really come to this?”
He quickly said, “Sang Yu, don’t worry, listen to me. I have already paid to buy the Zhu family’s old residence. However, the Zhu family has offended the local prefect, and their days will likely be difficult. The prefect is making things difficult for the Zhu family everywhere. The Zhu family is struggling in Dongchang Prefecture. I think, why not—”
He looked at me and said earnestly, “Why not have the Zhu family move to Yangzhou? Jiangnan is a prosperous land, and the Zhu family has the ancestral recipe for flower wine. If they want to start their business again, Yangzhou is the most suitable place. I am familiar with the Chamber of Commerce…”
“I bought a residence in Yangzhou and hung the plaque of the Zhu Residence. I have already mentioned this to Master Zhu, and he is very pleased. He will be setting off by boat with Young Master Xifeng in a few days.”
I said, “We are not related by blood or by marriage, so why are you helping the Zhu family so much? I understand my father; if you help him once, twice, or ten times, he will get used to it and come to you whenever he has a problem.”
Qin Mingxu smiled and said, “It’s good if he comes to me! I’m afraid he won’t! What do you mean by not related by blood or by marriage? I am your good friend, and your family is naturally my family. The ancients had a bond of entrusting their entire families; shouldn’t we be the same?”
As we spoke, we arrived at the breakfast shop.
He familiarly found a seat, wiped the stool, and then let me sit down.
The waiter brought the food.
The bright red broth, the tender green leaves. Red mixed with green, a pleasing color.
He smiled, “Eat quickly.”
I picked up my chopsticks.
He ate while looking outside.
The Eastern Depot was at Donghua Gate. From the breakfast shop, one could see the sign of the Eastern Depot in the distance.
A moment later, I heard movement from across the street.
Feng Gao emerged from the Eastern Depot.
A group of people followed him closely.
A look of worry suddenly appeared on Qin Mingxu’s face.
He hesitated for a moment and then said to me, “Sang Yu, do you know? Something has happened at the Qin Manor.”
I put down my chopsticks.
“The servants at the Qin Manor told me that people from the Eastern Depot have taken my father away.”
Feng Gao had finally made his move.
Ever since that day, when he learned the truth, I had been worried about this matter.
It had finally happened.
I remained silent.
Qin Mingxu lowered his head and said, “Sang Yu, the last time I returned to Yangzhou, my father… he told me everything.”
Although Minister Zhang did not expose this matter during his lifetime, his care for the Qin family’s business was unlike before. Furthermore, Madam Qin had not returned for a long time, and Master Qin, an experienced businessman, must have noticed. As for his intention in summoning his son back to the manor, I do not know.
Qin Mingxu learned of his true parentage.
His unreasonable reactions upon hearing the news of Minister Zhang’s death and seeing Madam Qin’s intimacy with Feng Gao now made sense.
“Sang Yu, my father’s sins in this matter are indeed grave. He who has sinned should bear the consequences. I do not blame Director Feng.”
I said, “It is truly rare that you can think this way.”
Because of Master Qin’s abandonment, because of Master Qin’s selfishness, because of Master Qin’s deception, Feng Gao had a bitter first half of his life. I truly could not bring myself to advise him to “forgive.” I was not qualified to forgive anyone on his behalf.
Given Feng Gao’s temperament, his not taking his anger out on Qin Mingxu was already a consideration for Madam Qin and me.
Qin Mingxu returned to the Cheng Residence with me. On the way, he also bought pickled vegetables and salted fish that Madam Qin liked.
West Wing.
Feng Gao was also there.
Madam Qin was sitting and talking with him.
Feng Gao had a youthful smile on his face.
Madam Qin was measuring his height with a ruler.
Qin Mingxu and I walked in.
Feng Gao saw Qin Mingxu and said nothing, but he stood up and called out to me.
Qin Mingxu looked at Feng Gao, then at Madam Qin, and suddenly knelt on the ground, saying, “Mother, Director Feng, my father’s sins are beyond redemption. No matter what the Qin family does, it cannot compensate for the pain of separation between mother and son, nor for the suffering Director Feng has endured. I accept all of this. However, my father is old. As a son, if I see my father in trouble and do not save him, it would be inhumane and unfilial, violating human ethics and principles. The ancients said, ‘A son pays his father’s debts,’ which is as it should be. I am willing to use my life to repay my father’s debts!”
He took a short knife from his embrace and swiftly stabbed himself in the chest.
Madam Qin, in great alarm, rushed forward and hugged him, “Xu’er, why must you do this? Xu’er, this has nothing to do with you. Mother has raised you for over twenty years, and you are also Mother’s son…”
The mother-son affection of so many years was real.
The daily companionship of so many years, Madam Qin’s love for him, was also real.
Blood flowed out.
Qin Mingxu said with tears, “Mother, the Qin family has wronged you.”
Madam Qin felt a heart-wrenching sorrow.
Feng Gao, standing beside them, frowned deeply, his face showing pain and hesitation.
