Chapter 57: Farewell
I ordered Xiao Yin to go and fetch the physician.
The knife in Qin Mingxu’s chest not only pierced his flesh but also shattered the fragile peace that everyone present had been trembling to maintain.
The sins of over twenty years ago, the wounds of over twenty years ago, were finally exposed in their rawest form.
Qin Mingxu took the blame for his father. But ultimately, he was innocent.
A child swapped in the snow. He took Feng Gao’s life, stealing the maternal love that rightfully belonged to Feng Gao. But he, too, was merely a pawn manipulated on a chessboard. The fate of an infant in swaddling clothes was not something he could decide.
Madam Qin held Qin Mingxu.
Qin Mingxu, his face pale, looked at Feng Gao calmly, blood soaking through his inner robe.
Feng Gao looked at Madam Qin, then at me. He realized the complexity of the situation. He could not be as resolute with the Qin family as he had been with the Feng family years ago. Too many things were entangled here.
He turned his back and said, “The Eastern Depot has its rules. Feng has his rules.”
A long pause.
Madam Qin rose, took a letter from her sleeve, and handed it to Feng Gao, saying, “Child, this is a letter of divorce. Give it to Qin Ke. From now on, he and I go our separate ways. I have borne the title of Madam Qin for over twenty years, and I wish to be Cai Qingyao again. In this life, I have lost all that I should not have, and never gained what I should have. With the remaining half of my years, to be reunited with you is enough of a wish.”
Feng Gao took the divorce letter, helped his mother to the couch, and said softly, “You were just measuring me for clothes, Mother. Have you finished?”
“I’ve finished. Mother will sew you a padded jacket tonight.”
Cai Qingyao glanced again at Qin Mingxu kneeling on the ground, then took Feng Gao’s hand and said, “Child, the Way of the Sages is broad yet solemn, strict yet warm, gentle yet upright, fierce yet benevolent. You have suffered greatly, and Mother’s heart aches more than anyone’s. But Mother wishes for you to cultivate good fortune. The Eastern Depot is too heavy with bloodshed; Mother does not wish for you to gain a reputation for cruelty. Qin Ke is old now, merely a withered old man. Please forgive him. Mother begs you. Consider it a closure for Mother and the Qin family.”
Having been the mistress of the Qin household for over twenty years, she did not wish for the Qin family to suffer utter destruction. She was gentle yet magnanimous. She lived her life through forgiveness.
She truly knelt before Feng Gao.
Feng Gao quickly helped her up.
He said nothing and strode out.
I chased after him and called out, “Dou Ya—”
“Sister, are you going to advise me too?” His ashen face erected a cold, icy wall. Within that wall lay all his helplessness, confusion, and vulnerability.
“No, I’m not advising you. I just wanted to tell you that I’m planning to return to Yangzhou.”
“The capital is indeed not a good place; there are too many troubles, and it’s a daily bloodbath. It’s not a place for Sister to endure. It’s good that Sister wants to leave. When will you leave?”
“Dou Ya, will you come with me?”
He was silent for a moment and said, “I still have unfinished business in the Capital City. His Majesty cannot do without me at the moment. When I have handled it, I will come to find Sister.”
“I heard His Majesty has promoted you to Supervisor of the Imperial Guard, to discuss state affairs with the Grand Secretaries.”
He turned back and looked at me tenderly, “When I was little, I was most afraid of being separated from Sister, even for a moment. If Sister went to buy wine for the troupe leader, I would follow. If Sister went to buy needlework, I would follow too. I was always afraid that when I opened my eyes, Sister would be gone, and I would be alone again. But in the end, I was still separated from Sister. I have lived this long without learning how to say goodbye. Sister, I will not come to the ferry terminal to see you off on the day you leave. My heart will always be with you.”
“Dou Ya, Sister will wait for you.”
“Mm.”
He thought for a moment and then said, “I have too many political enemies. It would not be good if others knew of our relationship. Sister, let her live with you. I will provide for her for the rest of her life.”
I knew that the “she” he spoke of was Cai Qingyao.
I nodded. “You should. Dou Ya, don’t worry. I will treat her as my own mother.”
He walked away.
I watched his slender figure disappear from sight, like a sandpiper sinking into the water.
A sandpiper, a solitary bird, alone for a lifetime.
The physician arrived.
I ordered several servants to carry Qin Mingxu to the couch in the side room.
He had lost too much blood and had fainted.
The physician carefully examined his wound. Although the wound was very deep, it was fortunately three inches away from his heart, so his life was not in danger. The physician bandaged his wound, prescribed medicine, and instructed him to rest for some time.
By the second watch, he still had not woken up.
I helped Cai Qingyao to the west wing room and said, “You rest here, I’ll take care of things.”
She looked back several times with concern and said, “Sang Yu, thank you for your trouble.”
She did not sleep.
Instead, she began sewing a padded jacket for Feng Gao under the lamplight.
As she sewed, she murmured, “It’s best to put in plenty of cotton. The winters in the Northern Lands are cold. Let him be warm and comfortable.”
I returned to the side room and stayed by Qin Mingxu’s side.
The lamp dimmed slightly, and I picked up the scissors to trim the wick.
Suddenly, I heard the person on the couch cry out, “Sang Yu, Sang Yu—”
I looked at him.
His eyes were closed.
He had not woken up. He was still dreaming.
“Don’t take me away, I have unfinished business.”
He reached out, as if desperately trying to break free from something.
I watched him quietly.
The bamboo on his outer robe was lush and vibrant, with strong branches.
Sweat dampened the hair on his forehead.
His pale lips, filled with deep sorrow.
“One song, one performance, one lifetime devoted to one person. Sang Yu, I cannot leave you. I will wait for you my entire life. Cultivate for ten years, and we can cross a river in the same boat. Cultivate for a hundred years, and we can find marital fate. I will cultivate for a hundred years then.”
I had never heard such passionate words before, and instinctively lowered my head, at a loss for what to do.
The wind swept in through the window.
The person on the couch soon became calm again.
Those dream murmurs, resting beneath the stars, sank deep into the night.
Qin Mingxu rested in the side room for several days before waking. Several groups of people from the Tiansheng Tower counter came looking for him, wanting the young master to make decisions on business matters.
During this time, Feng Gao visited twice.
He had finally made his decision.
He solemnly told his mother that he had ordered Qin Master to be released, and that Qin Master had signed the divorce letter, severing all ties between the Cai clan and the Qin family. However, with no mistress in the Qin household, the many concubines had their own ambitions, vying to be officially recognized, causing great chaos.
Cai Qingyao had never cared about these matters in the first place. Now, she cared even less.
She cherished every moment and every drop of time spent with Feng Gao.
One day in early October, someone from the money house arrived. Qin Mingxu, evasive and avoiding me, spoke with him for a long time before the man left.
I stood under the eaves and blocked his path, “Is there something you’re hiding from me?”
He quickly replied, “No.”
I pondered, “A while ago, you withdrew all the cash from the counters along the Grand Canal, raising ten thousand taels of gold. Was it for business turnover, lacking funds, and you sought a loan from the money house?”
He laughed heartily, “Sang Yu, you truly have a sharp mind; nothing escapes you. It’s a small matter. When doing business, borrowing money is inevitable. When the season for selling winter clothes arrives, the difficult period will soon pass. It’s nothing, nothing.”
When Cheng Huaishi was saved, he spared no effort in handling all the arrangements.
I said, “I should repay this sum to you. Also, the money you spent for the Zhu family, I should repay that to you as well.”
He looked at me and said, “Do you want to return to the Zhu family and help Master Zhu revitalize the Zhu family’s flower wine?”
He had seen through my thoughts.
I said, “Yes. When my mother was alive, it was the peak of the Zhu family’s flower wine. I grew up smelling the wine. My father’s letter to me a while ago implored me to return home and support the family. I’ve thought about it for a long time; I am, after all, the eldest daughter of the Zhu family, and it is my duty.”
He seemed very pleased. “Sang Yu, this is a good thing. You don’t know, after you left Yangzhou, stories of your cleverness in dealing with Bai Zhou were still circulating in the marketplaces of Yangzhou. The Monkey King’s rampage on Black Wind Mountain and Guanyin’s subjugation of the Bear Monster have even been turned into storybooks.”
I couldn’t help but smile.
He caught my subtle emotion and said, “Sang Yu, you’re finally smiling. I haven’t seen you smile in a long time.”
The eighth day of the twelfth lunar month, an auspicious day, suitable for travel.
By the time we reached the ferry terminal, it was snowing heavily.
Last year, on the day I saw Cheng Huaishi off, it was also snowing like this.
I would be taking a boat to Jiangnan.
Leaving this majestic Capital City.
Qin Mingxu’s injuries had improved considerably. He supported Cai Qingyao, while Xiao Yin and others carried the luggage. The group boarded the ship one by one.
Feng Gao indeed did not come to see them off.
Cai Qingyao kept looking back, reluctant to leave. Only when I told her that Feng Gao would reunite with her soon did she feel slightly at ease.
The Eastern Depot belonged to His Majesty. Feng Gao was His Majesty’s man. She knew he held a high position and had many unavoidable circumstances.
The snow fell silently. I stood at the ferry terminal, gazing at the vast expanse of heaven and earth.
Not far away, on top of a wine building, a familiar figure was constantly looking towards the ferry terminal.
I knew he had come after all.
He watched me and Cai Qingyao, his deep affection falling with the snow.
Dou Ya, he didn’t fail to learn how to say goodbye; he simply couldn’t bear to part.
Having witnessed all the sorrows of parting at the ends of the earth, I did not speak of my return, only to find the fallen flowers scattered like this.
Due to the Grand Canal being frozen, the ship took half a month to reach Yangzhou.
The twenty-third day of the twelfth lunar month, noon, at the ship’s ferry terminal.
Yangzhou was bathed in sunshine, the winter mountains sleeping.
From afar, many familiar figures stood on the shore.
Third Miss and Lu Gui stood together.
Wu Bi and He Hua stood together. He Hua’s belly was already large, and she was not far from her due date.
Xiao Yin helped me ashore. Third Miss came forward and called out, “Second Sister-in-law.”
Immediately, she felt she had misspoke and awkwardly corrected herself, “Elder Sister Sang Yu—”
I said, “The water and soil of Yangzhou truly nourish people. Qing Shi has gained weight compared to when she was in the Capital City. Is it the delicious food of Yangzhou, or is Mr. Lu taking good care of you?”
She lowered her head.
On this ferry crossing, time had passed, and joy and sorrow had come and gone.
Cheng Huaishi’s “death” was an abyss, a topic everyone tacitly avoided and dared not mention, for various reasons.
Young Master Lu cupped his hands and said, “I received a letter from Young Master Qin, informing me that you were returning to Yangzhou, and I told Qing Shi. Qing Shi was overjoyed and has been pulling me to the ferry terminal every day for the past few days, waiting. You’ve finally returned.”
I nodded.
Wu Bi bowed to me respectfully, just as he always had, but no longer called me “Second Young Mistress.”
He Hua was the last to approach me, tears streaming down her face. She looked me up and down, and after a long while, said, “You’ve lost so much weight.”
I reached out and gently touched her belly.
I don’t know if it was my imagination, but after disembarking, I always felt that behind the large willow tree not far away, a pair of strange eyes were watching me in secret…
I quickly looked over, but there was only the shadow of the wind swaying the willow branches.
