Chapter 77: Going to Death Alone
The Mister held explosives, sitting on the embankment until the hour of Mao.
He hoped his prediction was wrong.
As the sky gradually brightened, it took on a faint blue hue.
Before long, the sun emerged.
The morning glow gathered and dispersed, chaotic yet orderly, ever-changing.
He held the explosives tightly, staring ahead motionlessly.
He had not slept all night, his eyes were bloodshot.
The Grand Canal’s water flowed on, oblivious to his thoughts. Yangzhou City had not yet awakened. Occasionally, farmers carried their poles, rushing to sell vegetables in the city early. In front of the breakfast shops, steamers of buns were stacked high, emitting steam. It was a scene of peaceful, quiet years.
At the hour of Chen, he heard the sound of hammering and banging passing by the road along the river.
He couldn’t help but walk closer to look. Everyone’s face was beaming with joy. They carried a sedan chair, heading east. He knew that was the direction of the Zhu Residence.
His wife was getting married today.
The woman who always smiled and stood silently behind him. The woman who had carried his child, on whose belly he had placed his hand for entire nights. The woman he subconsciously wanted to protect and wished happiness for.
She was going to enter another man’s home in this sedan chair.
The sedan chair was truly beautiful.
The veil covering the sedan chair was made of bright red silk, embroidered with patterns of a hundred children, adorned with gold and silver threads, exuding grandeur. The vermilion-lacquered rattan footrest was where she would step to enter the sedan. The sedan body was made of ginkgo wood, with carvings of the Two Immortals of Harmony on both sides. The peonies on the sedan curtain were exceptionally lifelike.
The Mister thought, the man she was marrying must truly love her. Every detail was meticulously crafted.
The peaceful and joyful life she had tearfully spoken of to him would soon be hers.
Did it matter who her husband was?
He already owed her stability.
From the moment she married into the Cheng Family, she had never had an easy time.
He had already caused her too many hardships.
He would forever remember the overwhelming grief on her clear, unadorned face.
The Mister followed the sedan chair for several miles.
He hid under a large locust tree opposite the Zhu Residence, waiting until she left the manor.
Although she was covered by the red veil and he couldn’t see her face, seeing her get into the sedan chair with his own eyes brought him solace.
The sun suddenly hid behind the clouds.
The sky grew increasingly overcast.
Dark clouds gathered instantly, drawing closer to the ground.
He rushed back to the embankment.
Indeed, halfway there, the torrential rain began to pour down.
The wind blew so hard he couldn’t open his eyes.
The Mister knew that at this moment, disaster was already knocking at Yangzhou City’s door.
If such heavy rain continued, the Grand Canal’s water would overflow and flood in just a few hours.
No one in the Yangzhou Prefectural Office would dare make a decision. He knew the rules of officialdom well. They were all afraid of taking responsibility, and when something went wrong, they would shift blame. With a flawed ruler and unclear duties, the world was already riddled with holes.
Reporting layer by layer, by the time the news reached the Capital City, perhaps before even seeing the Emperor’s face, the memorial would be “cleverly” buried. Even if the memorial reached the Emperor, and the current Emperor was willing to issue a decree to release the floodwaters, by the time the decree reached Yangzhou, it would be too late.
How many people in Yangzhou City would die from this embankment breach?
These people would merely be cold statistics in future reports. At most, they would elicit a few sighs from those in power. Some might not even sigh.
The Mister recalled the vegetable farmers carrying their poles into the city early in the morning, the steam rising from the bun steamers, and the noisy wedding procession. Yangzhou City must have had many such mornings. She should have had an undisturbed wedding.
There was no time.
There was no time.
The Grand Canal’s water was like a gaping beast.
What difference would it make to this vast human world if he were gone?
He did not hesitate for a moment to trade his life for the safety of the entire city.
Through the urgent curtain of rain, he cast one last glance at the sedan chair.
Sang Yu.
He called out her name in his heart.
Sang Yu, my wife.
Be well.
He embraced the gunpowder, using his flesh and blood as a cannon, and leaped into the flood diversion channel.
The deafening explosion, accompanied by the roar of the surging Grand Canal floodwaters, shook Yangzhou City.
Death arrived like the wind, swift and sudden.
The water was deep.
The fire was hot.
His two deaths had allowed him to experience both extremes.
If he could have a second chance, he would still choose this path.
He remembered when he and Sang Yu had first become intimate. On a rich and beautiful evening, they lay on the bed, drenched in sweat. Sang Yu asked him a question: “Second Master, do you love me?”
He was silent for a moment.
He had never uttered the word “love” to anyone in his life.
Sang Yu did not press him. She turned over and soon fell asleep. She seemed to be very afraid of hearing a different answer from him. Many times, she thought he loved Xun Yitang. Even he himself had once thought so.
When did he realize?
It must have been when he considered divorcing her.
If Xun Yitang had been by his side then, he would have died with her. But it was Sang Yu who was by his side, and he instinctively wanted to protect her, even in the most resolute way. He only wanted her to live well, even if she hated him.
She was merely the wife he was betrothed to in his youth, not someone he had chosen himself. Yet, losing her caused him such great sorrow.
In prison, the moment he handed her the divorce letter, his heart shattered like thin ice stepped upon.
She tore up the divorce letter, and he almost spoke his true feelings.
In the end, he held back.
After the prison door closed, he squatted on the ground, holding his head, and wept.
He repeatedly recalled scenes involving her in his mind.
What he cherished was not their physical intimacy, but her warm hand placed on his chest in the dark of night.
It was by staring at her in front of Peach Blossom Nunnery that he overlooked Xun Yitang.
It was only when Xun Yitang set the fire that he noticed.
Words can be faked, actions can be faked, but the heart cannot.
He loved Sang Yu.
More deeply than he had imagined.
He loved her clumsily, and the words he spoke were like sharp knives.
Rushing into the fire and embracing Xun Yitang was merely going with the flow. Firstly, with the abolition of the New Policies, he was utterly disheartened. Secondly, Sang Yu was so resolute; only this action could make her completely let go and start anew. Thirdly, his teacher’s daughter was infatuated; allowing her to achieve her imagined fulfillment in death would be a way to repay their childhood companionship and compensate for her lifelong misplaced affections.
Who knew that fate would not let him burn to death.
That day, a torrential rain saved him; today, a torrential rain sent him off.
Perhaps, Heaven pitied the common people, allowing him to die later and save Yangzhou from suffering today.
In a daze, he seemed to see Sang Yu walking towards him, wearing a simple home robe.
Her smile was as cool as the shade of trees in June: “Second Master, please rest.”
Mm.
Rest.
Now, he would truly rest forever.
He tried his best to open his eyes wide.
Human life has limits, but my thoughts of you are boundless.
To fail the people is to fail the nation; how can I bear to fail you? The people cannot be failed, nor can you.
I am truly sorry.
That word, “I love you,” I will never be able to say to you in this lifetime.
You know me, I’ve never been good with words. From now on, others will whisper gentle words in your ear for a lifetime.
May you be surrounded by grandchildren.
May you live a long and happy life.
May you no longer remember me.
After a loud “bang.”
The sedan bearers froze in place.
The musicians forgot to play.
Many people ran towards the river embankment, following the sound.
I lifted the sedan curtain and looked towards the river. The rain was dense, and I couldn’t see anything clearly.
Feng Gao sternly rebuked everyone, “What are you standing around for! Hurry up! If we miss the auspicious time, I’ll hold you accountable!”
The crowd, in fear, continued forward.
I asked, “Dou Ya, what happened over there?”
Feng Gao replied, “No matter what happened, Elder Sister’s wedding is important.”
I lowered the sedan curtain, feeling inexplicably flustered.
With such heavy rain, what could have happened by the river embankment?
I said to Hua Lian, “Go and see.”
Hua Lian quickly replied, “Yes, Owner.”
After Hua Lian left, she did not return for a long time.
Upon reaching the Qin Manor gate, the sedan chair was set down.
Qin Mingxu, dressed in a red brocade robe and wearing a jade crown, stood under the eaves waiting for me.
Feng Gao helped me out of the sedan chair, and a Servant Woman came to hold an umbrella for me. Qin Mingxu snatched the umbrella from her hand, raised it high with his only remaining good hand, and walked towards me.
The Master of Ceremonies announced in a drawn-out voice: “Magpies perching on branches welcome the newlyweds, may your love last forever!”
Feng Gao placed my hand into Qin Mingxu’s.
At this moment, someone arrived and reported to Feng Gao, “Eunuch, your subordinate has an urgent matter to report!”
Feng Gao thought for a moment and said to Qin Mingxu, “I’ll be back for the wedding banquet later.”
Then, he said to me, “Elder Sister, I’ll be back shortly,” and left with the person who had arrived.
With Hua Lian gone and Feng Gao also gone, I suddenly felt empty.
The Qin Manor was filled with the sounds of gongs and drums, a lively scene.
Qin Mingxu led me by the hand into the manor.
Amidst the music, he softly said, “Sang Yu, only when I saw you step down from the sedan chair did my heart finally feel at ease.”
With my veil on, I lowered my head and looked at his shoes.
There were many mud stains on them.
He must have walked out into the rain repeatedly to look.
I said softly, “It is our auspicious time; of course, I had to come.”
He tightened his grip on my hand.
A Servant Boy brought over a fire basin for me to step over.
According to custom, a remarried woman did not need to perform the full wedding ceremony upon entering the groom’s home, only a toast to the gods. However, Qin Mingxu insisted on marrying me as if it were my first marriage. Cai Qingyao sat in the seat of honor. I stepped over the fire basin, and Qin Mingxu and I bowed to heaven and earth, to the elders, and then performed the ritual of bowing to each other as husband and wife.
The Master of Ceremonies shouted: “The ceremony is complete—”
The Steward invited the guests to be seated for the banquet.
The Clan Elders of the Qin Family wrote my name into the family genealogy, stroke by stroke.
And so, Qin Mingxu and I became husband and wife…
