Chapter 98: The Real Jie Luo
“How did you two get here?” Sitting on a stone, Mike inquired of the two. At this moment, Komiya was holding bandages to wrap Mike’s wounds.
“What do you mean how did we get here? If it weren’t for Sister Karen’s arrow, you’d still be racing the ogre right now.” Komiya complained.
“Alright, it’s my fault. But you two actually didn’t return after finding the spring water. That’s not like the previous plan.” Among the five, both Karen and Komiya had planned to turn back after finding the spring water.
“Wasn’t this to find you all? It’s safer if we’re all together.” Komiya tied off the bandage, then stood up straight.
“Phew, that’s it. Your external injuries aren’t serious.” She gave a simple evaluation.
Afterward, the three exchanged intelligence. Mike also went in the direction Komiya and the others had come from and fetched the spring water.
“This way, everyone’s first goal is completed. As for the second goal, well, that’s one done too.” Komiya looked at the ogre that had died not far away.
“This one counts as Sister Karen’s, right? She has the greatest merit. Mike, you have no objections, do you?”
“I have no objections.” Mike shook his head. Just now, if Karen hadn’t acted, he probably would have been chased to death by that ogre.
“So what do we do with the remaining time? Do we just head back like this, or look for Tiya and Lei and the others?” Komiya asked the two.
“Either works for me.” Karen thought both were fine.
“I…” Mike originally wanted the two to join him in avenging their team members, but thinking of the danger involved, he closed his mouth.
“I want to go find Brother Jieluo first. He’s hiding in a cave two li away.” Mike said.
“Since there’s a clear direction, let’s go then. Otherwise, it’ll be dark soon.” Komiya patted her skirt hem, then stroked the ‘dough’ beside her with one hand.
After the three decided, they set off. With companions joining them, they all felt much more at ease and could take turns keeping watch, saving energy.
In the evening, they found Jieluo again. By now, Jieluo had woken up. He stood on the former battlefield with a face full of shame, trying to dig up his teammates’ bodies from the ground, but those people had long been eaten by the ogre, leaving no remains.
Night.
“Sorry, Mike.” By the campfire, this man spoke dejectedly.
“It’s not your fault, Brother Jieluo. The ogre was too strong.” He had nearly died at the ogre’s hands just now too.
“It’s not just that. I’m too weak.” Jieluo stared blankly at the campfire with both eyes, answering in a low voice.
“Are you curious why I used ‘Shaking Sun Grass’ to numb myself?” He slowly spoke of the pains and weaknesses of these years.
“I’m actually far from as strong and resolute as you think. Every moment, I want to escape this adventurer life, but everyone relies on me. Once I leave, this adventurer team falls apart.”
“Brother…” Mike thought of his past self, who had been the same, relying on Jieluo just like the other teammates.
“I’m very afraid, very afraid of dying.” Jieluo murmured.
“You all always think that someone who’s been through many battles will become brave, but I’ve never thought so.”
“I just feel that the more life-and-death experiences one has, the more cowardly it makes a person.”
“Many people have died. Some were my seniors, some were my former teammates, and others were mere passersby I’d met once.”
“The longer I do this adventurer thing, the more I realize how fragile life is, how easy it is to die, and how death holds no value.”
“An experienced snake catcher, just from one careless moment, got bitten by a poisonous snake. He didn’t have time to drink the antidote potion and died on the road, even though he’d been in the trade for decades.”
“Soon his name was forgotten by people. Even when mentioned, it’s with mockery, saying it was his final careless blunder.”
“Before he died, he was the best snake catcher in several nearby villages and the pride of his family.”
“After he died, his wife remarried within a year, and his child became filthy and neglected, completely different from the clean, healthy appearance before.”
“I’ve also led several young teammates and companions. They joined the adventurer team and didn’t last long—some hadn’t even earned enough for equipment—before dying on a task.”
“Death is too common, life too weak…” Jieluo kept repeating this, his gaze dull.
“Every time before a task, I wanted to hide in the house, using the anesthetic hallucinations from ‘Shaking Sun Grass’ to comfort myself, to get a bit of relaxation and solace.”
“Brother…” Mike lightly patted the other’s back to comfort him.
“I’ve always maintained an image of strength and resilience in front of you all, because that way everyone believes in me and listens to me.”
“No one pays attention to a coward’s words, no one respects them. I’m very afraid of death in adventures, but I also crave your admiration, the revelry in the bar. That’s truly wonderful…” There was a hint of greed and obsession in his voice.
“The girls in the bar all flock around me. With just a look from me, they’ll sit in my lap.”
“Mike, do you know how proud that makes me feel? Every time, I’m the center of attention for everyone. They all wait for my orders. If I say we set out today, we act today—no one says no.”
……
“Sorry for disappointing you, Mike.” After finishing, Jieluo lowered his head.
“I’m not a good brother. Just an ordinary man with limited ability who’s afraid of dying.” His voice was especially low.
By the fire, Karen silently added firewood without speaking. Komiya curiously shifted her gaze back and forth between Jieluo and Mike. And that snow-white Ti Lang lay at her side, its two front paws over its nose, eyes fixed on the golden-brown roasted meat chunks on the fire.
After hearing Jieluo’s confession, Mike also fell silent. He felt guilty for not caring for this brother before, and also a sense of his beliefs collapsing.
Before this, he had always aspired to become a great adventurer, not just because the profession was respected, could help many people solve problems, and brought ample rewards far exceeding ordinary work.
And in his mind, Jieluo was the best example. The other had pulled him out of the village inn where he’d grown up, made him a real man, and sent him to study with Scholar Heide, completely changing his fate.
“No, it’s not like that.” Mike shook his head in refutation.
“It’s true, Brother Jieluo isn’t as brave and resolute as I once imagined, but I still respect you.”
“Without you, I’d probably still be doing odd jobs at that inn, living a lowly life disrespected like my mother.” He murmured, recalling past days.
“I’ve never regretted coming out with you and joining the adventurer team.”
“At first, I got hurt a lot, but that was because I wasn’t mature enough or strong enough. If I had your experience and strength, it wouldn’t have happened.”
“I’ve always admired you. Walking behind you made me feel secure.”
“Though you say you’re cowardly and afraid of death, your caution and thorough preparation have saved many teammates’ lives and solved many problems.”
“This time it was just bad luck.” He comforted Jieluo and soothed his own shattered ideals.
“No, it’s not like that…” Jieluo painfully closed his eyes.
“Don’t say any more.”
“You don’t understand, you don’t understand how terrifying death is, that feeling, that scene…” Jieluo fell into massive emotional turmoil again.
This blow completely shattered his mental defenses and will, making him utterly fragile.
“Watching your companions fall one by one, dying with eyes wide open, while you’re powerless, as the enemy approaches bit by bit—that fear, that panic, that suffocation—you won’t understand, Mike…” Jieluo repeatedly denied Mike’s ideals.
“Don’t become an adventurer anymore. Yes, don’t be like me, doing this line of work.”
“You’re Scholar Heide’s student, and you’ve met Viscount Xue Feng. After graduation, find a job in Jiaoshi City, become a stable guard. The income may be lower, but you can live quite comfortably.”
“I’ve always wanted to become a guard, but couldn’t let go of the lavish spending habits.”
“This time I won’t hesitate. I’ll never do tasks again, never adventure. I just want to be an ordinary guard who’s mocked by others, quietly living out the rest of my life.”
“Brother…” Mike lightly patted the other’s back and said no more.
He already understood the other’s intentions and stopped comforting or persuading.
The firewood crackled quietly as it burned. The four sat silently around the campfire until the fat from the roasting meat dripped onto the charcoal fire, sizzling and sending up green smoke, breaking the silence.
“Woo.”
The white Ti Lang stood up, wanting to lick the roasted meat, but was pressed down by Komiya.
“Wait a bit. This piece isn’t for you.” Komiya stood up, took down that piece of roasted meat, and handed it to Jieluo across from her.
“Eat some. Rest well tonight, and go back with us tomorrow.”
“Th-thank you.” His parched throat made a sound. Jieluo took the roasted meat, slowly chewing and swallowing. As he ate, tears flowed uncontrollably again, perhaps thinking of many people and things from the past.
“This one’s for you.” Komiya took down another piece and handed it to Mike.
Silently taking the roasted meat, Mike bit into it tastelessly, recalling these years’ experiences and beginning to reexamine his short life.
Should he continue as an adventurer in the future, or as Brother Jieluo advised, just be a safe, unremarkable guard in Jiaoshi City?
‘Only by truly understanding oneself can one begin life.’ — An ancient precept of the Candle Fort School.
The words Heide once taught them now truly revealed their charm and profundity.
