Chapter 19: This Thing’s Alive… What The Hell Do We Do?
Lin Yan grabbed Wu Xie’s shoulders and poked out half his head: “I say Fatty, Third Master, this isn’t the time to talk about that, right? The thing gasping inside—isn’t that this thing? Shouldn’t we solve it first and then split the loot?”
Fatty gave him a smack on the back of the head: “Lin young comrade, that’s not right, how can you call it splitting the loot? This is clearly the spoils we got after going through hell and back, nine deaths and one life! Third Master, you say, right?”
Wu Xie was speechless. If Fatty didn’t speak, it was fine, but as soon as he opened his mouth, the serious tomb raiding turned into a crosstalk show site? Once they got out, should he sign Fatty and Lin Yan up for a class so their talents wouldn’t go to waste?
Wu Sansheng wasn’t in the mood to deal with them yet; he was carefully observing this armor-like thing. Up close, the stuff on this corpse was clearly jade pieces. After thousands of years of sedimentation, some had turned black, and worn on the corpse, it looked just like a suit of black armor.
After a good while, Wu Sansheng straightened up: “This is a jade burial suit! Who would’ve thought, who would’ve thought, I’ve been tomb raiding for half my life, and it actually let me find this divine artifact! They say the jade burial suit can make one youthful again, but no one’s ever been able to describe what it looks like—today I finally got to see it!”
He looked excited, as if tears were about to flow out.
Wu Xie and Lin Yan couldn’t fathom that feeling of a lifelong pursuit suddenly coming true; they were more like Fatty, focused on the value and legends of the jade burial suit.
Seeing them approach, the living corpse wearing the jade burial suit clearly started breathing rapidly; its already ferocious features became even more ferocious, almost scrunching together—not sure if it was fear or anger. Or both?
Fatty circled it a few times: “Third Master, you say this jade burial suit can make one youthful again, so look— this person inside is still gasping, but is it a living person or a corpse? If it’s really a living person, wouldn’t that make it a several-thousand-year-old monster?”
Lin Yan had been watching this corpse stay motionless for so long, letting them observe freely, so his courage grew; he poked out from behind Wu Xie and started prodding it: “Look at its skin, it’s white to the point of transparency. And look in the coffin, all these black patchy things—how do they look just like snake scales? If they’re really snake scales, then where’s the snake?”
Wu Sansheng leaned in to look: “What scales? That’s skin! They say this jade burial suit sheds a layer of skin every five hundred years; looking at the stock here, it’s at least five or six layers. No wonder this male corpse is so young!”
Wu Xie looked at the corpse, unsure for a moment what to do with it: “Then Third Uncle, should we take this jade burial suit? If we take it, will the person inside die? He’s lived this long already—if he dies by our hands, wouldn’t that be murder?”
Lin Yan interjected: “Not necessarily; maybe once it’s removed, he turns into a zombie right away. Besides, who can really live three thousand years? Anyone surviving three thousand years is either a god or some barely clinging heretical path. Don’t think this method comes without a price—I’m telling you, anything related to longevity, the price is always human life, and thousands upon thousands of human lives!”
At these words, everyone’s expressions changed. Wu Sansheng narrowed his eyes, indicating he was now making an important decision: “How do you know that?”
Lin Yan felt a inexplicable chill; he shrank his neck: “Isn’t that common knowledge? In history, which emperor pursuing longevity had a good end? The spectacle got bigger and bigger, more and more people died, but did anyone really achieve longevity? It was all fake! Wu Xie, don’t think just because it’s still gasping that it’s alive—it’s just a corpse with one extra breath!”
At these words, even Wu Sansheng was stunned: “That’s it?”
He couldn’t help muttering inwardly: I wanted you to explain how you know about longevity-related matters, but that’s your answer? Just that? Did I overthink it—your knowledge of longevity didn’t come from “it,” and it’s not related to those families? Still, this reasoning is quite something; if everyone could think this way, how great would that be—I wouldn’t have to…
“Huh?” Lin Yan was also stunned. He had no idea what had happened, or that he’d unknowingly brushed past death. If he’d answered that question poorly just now, the old fox would definitely kill him even in front of his nephew, sending him to see Marx.
Wu Xie looked left and right, completely unable to figure out what was up with their talking-past-each-other dialogue, so he could only study with Fatty how to remove the jade burial suit.
“I say, why not just dismantle this corpse?” Panzi was getting impatient and finally made his first constructive suggestion, but Fatty shot it down with one sentence.
“How did it get to dismantling? This living corpse has held onto that breath for thousands of years— you dismantle it directly, won’t it feel uncomfortable? I say, you southern faction folks are too trigger-happy. Let Fatty Ye look around; if I’m not wrong, there must be a mechanism up here to remove this thing intact. Otherwise, how does the corpse shed its skin? Doesn’t it have to dismantle this thing?”
As Fatty spoke, he squatted down and felt inch by inch over the jade burial suit, not missing a single spot—not even lifting the arm to check the armpit.
Lin Yan saw this was also a patient job; waiting idly was boring, so he simply looked into the coffin for other treasures. And he actually found one.
“Wu Xie, Wu Xie, come quick, see what this is?”
Wu Xie leaned over and saw a delicate purple jade box, so he asked: “Where’d you find it? How come I didn’t see it before.”
Lin Yan replied: “Who told you to focus all your attention on this living corpse? I found this box behind the coffin. See if there’s a mechanism? If not, I’ll open it and take a look?” He couldn’t recall exactly what Wu Xie’s group got from here in the end, but he figured it wasn’t the ghost seal.
Wu Xie took the box and felt it over carefully; it was ice-cold to the touch: “Seems like there’s really no mechanism. Open it and see.”
Lin Yan carefully opened it and found only a roll of silk manuscript inside; looking closely, it even shimmered with golden light: “Good grief, gilding craft this early?”
Wu Xie glanced at it: “What gilding? That’s inlaid gold—gold threads directly embedded in the fibers! This craftsmanship is remarkable… Let me see, Underworld Duke Mourning King Earth Book?”
Lin Yan took a look and gave up. He’d always recognized the ancient script characters but not what they said; this professional stuff was best left to Wu Xie. He stuffed the silk manuscript into Wu Xie’s arms and reached to put the purple jade box into his bag.
Wu Xie grabbed him with one hand: “Hey, what are you doing?”
Lin Yan looked at him in bewilderment: “Putting away the treasure.”
Wu Xie looked exasperated: “At least wait till I skim the silk manuscript? It’ll have to go back in the box later—this thing’s delicate; if not preserved properly, it won’t be worth much.”
Lin Yan thought about it and agreed; he withdrew his hand, then held the open box sitting beside, waiting for Wu Xie to finish with the silk manuscript and put it back—looking perfectly obedient.jpg, if you ignored the green glow in his eyes fixed on the purple jade.
Over there, Fatty finally found the clue: “Finally, Fatty Ye found it! Third Master, look!” He pointed to a jade piece in the armpit of the jade burial suit, where there was a barely noticeable thread end beside it. Wu Sansheng squinted for a long time before spotting it, his face a bit embarrassed: “It is; you’ve got an eye for it.”
Fatty looked excited: “So we open it now?”
Open what? Open the burial suit? Lin Yan, immersed in his money-filled world, suddenly overheard the conversation and remembered something: “Wait! Don’t open it yet!”
“What’s wrong?”
Now everyone looked over.
Lin Yan had just remembered this thing would rise as a zombie once opened, but he couldn’t say it directly since he didn’t know how to explain. So he hemmed and hawed, then tried to dissuade them indirectly from opening the suit outright: “What if it rises as a zombie once opened? How about we consider taking it out first?”
He suggested cautiously, leaving everyone exchanging glances.
Fatty mulled it over and thought it made sense: “Third Master, I think the young comrade has a point—shouldn’t we stuff a black donkey hoof in its mouth first?”
Wu Sansheng thought about it: “A black donkey hoof isn’t foolproof… Like this: stuff it first, then once we remove the head side, chop the head right off. No matter how fierce the corpse, without a head, let’s see it rise!”
Fatty gave a thumbs-up: “Third Master thinks of everything!” Then he and Panzi exchanged a smile; those grabbing black donkey hooves got them, those drawing knives drew them. Da Kui, seeing he had nothing in hand, raised his gun at the male corpse’s head, ready to unload a burst anytime, but Wu Sansheng pressed it down: “What if it goes off!”
He touched his head aggrievedly and retreated to Lin Yan and the others’ side, making space for Wu Sansheng and them.
Just then, a voice came from outside the cave: “That won’t work.”
“Who?” Da Kui reacted fastest, his gun already aimed at the door.
