Chapter 276: Wear Underpants That Fit Your Buttocks
As the saying goes, one wears underpants that fit their buttocks, and boasts according to their capabilities.
If one hasn’t even broken through their ego, how can they talk about the bigger picture?
The intention to do something for all living beings is good, but we must also weigh our own capabilities.
If you say you can let me live a life of luxury, or make me do this and that. Come on, show me $2 million first? If you can’t produce it, does that embarrass you?
If you produce it, and then I say it’s not enough, I need $20 million, will you produce it? If you can’t, does that embarrass you? Does it hurt your pride?
Speaking boastfully is easy, but if I wanted to eat a whole dragon and drink an ocean in one sitting, could you provide it?
Do you think steamed buns aren’t delicious to me? Is it because I can’t afford meat? Or does what I eat have anything to do with what I need to do?
Is this how you test officials with such boasts? Which official can’t withstand this test? Hahahaha.
You have to burn high-quality incense when you pray to gods and Buddhas, yet you come to ask a True Immortal and then make empty promises, saying you’ll help the True Immortal succeed? What are you thinking?
The methods you use to break through attachments and distracting thoughts are things I invented when I was in the early stages of enlightenment. You haven’t even broken through your ego when I tried to help you, yet you tell me disciples are not necessarily inferior to masters.
Child, why is that thought so foolish? For you to surpass your master, first you must learn everything your master knows, and then take a step further!
Did you learn it? No, right?
Even if you think you’ve learned it all.
Then is the master not cultivating anymore? Or what is going on? Are you dreaming of surpassing me?
My cultivation speed is like cheating! If I put my heart into nurturing you, even if I dreamed of preaching the Dao, you would have the same dream, and in that dream, I would be imparting something to you.
Is it fun? Is it magical? You’ve never seen this before, have you? If you haven’t seen it, you won’t believe it, will you?
How do you think you can achieve such wondrous feats in the real world through your own cultivation?
I can do it, can you? I told you that arrogance is not inherently wrong, but I also taught you humility, why didn’t you remember that?
Losing a humble heart, this arrogance is no longer arrogance, it becomes karmic obstruction that obscures the mind, dust upon the heart.
“Disciples are not necessarily inferior to masters” doesn’t mean being superior to the master in their strongest areas. It means you have your own specialties, and in those specialties, you might be a little better than your master, but that’s not enough to be boastful in front of your master.
Because the things your master taught you are equally incredibly powerful for you. Without them, you wouldn’t be able to be so amazing in this area either.
I will not stop you from developing your strengths, and I will strongly support you in doing so.
After all, if you want to learn car repair, and I don’t know how to repair cars, I wouldn’t stop you from learning. I couldn’t do something like that; it’s too narrow-minded.
The sea embraces all rivers, and with magnanimity comes greatness. A master who cannot tolerate even this is not a good master.
A good master is like one who nurtures flowers, providing them with upward nourishment, not hindering their blooming.
But when you learn something from me, you must set your heart straight in front of me. Don’t show off, otherwise, after showing off, the things I taught you might stop working, and you won’t be able to grasp anything further.
Even if you have the heart to rebel against heaven and earth, in front of me, it’s like child’s play. Not to mention that people in their twenties or thirties are like children in front of me, even those over a hundred years old are the same.
Do not provoke me to the point where I am unwilling to deal with you. After I stop interacting with you, it will be even harder for you to truly awaken.
Human desire is insatiable, like a snake trying to swallow an elephant. Always remember this.
To devour all evil thoughts in the world, one must first cultivate oneself into a seven-colored sky-devouring python. Without such ability, what are you swallowing?
If Monkey King hadn’t learned the Seventy-Two Transformations and the Somersault Cloud back then, he would have just been an ordinary monkey. Did you forget that after his initial mastery of techniques, he was punished for carelessly showing off and was directly expelled from the mountain?
How do you think you compare to him?
…
My thoughts returned to the present, sweeping away the dust from my memories, the wind came and went, the clouds formed and dispersed.
It had been quite some time since I last visited the East Sea, so I casually brought two gourds of peanuts and flew there.
Little Third Son had followed my arrangements precisely, and had completely transformed the seawater, restoring it to its usual clarity.
Upon seeing me arrive, the Old Dragon King, also known as Brother Long of the social scene, couldn’t help but laugh heartily, “Hahahaha, good brother, it’s been a while, hope you’re well, hahaha.”
His laughter was so intense that after the saliva sprayed into the sky, it directly began to rain.
Damn it, doesn’t that old guy know what he’s capable of? He can cause weather changes just by sneezing or farting. So what if he sees me, why is he laughing so hard?
How presumptuous! This little bit of rain directly soaked my clothes.
I rolled my eyes and said irritably, “Brother Long, can you laugh a little lighter? Are you doing it on purpose?”
My teasing made the Old Dragon King’s flushed face even more awkward. He chuckled foolishly, “Not at all, not at all. How could I dare to look down on you like this, brother.”
Saying that, he threw an arm around my shoulder, “Come, come, brother, let’s go to my place and sit for a while. We brothers must drink until we’re completely drunk today.”
Upon arriving at the Dragon Palace, the Dragon King arranged for a table of good food and wine to entertain me.
At the same time, I presented him with the two gourds of peanuts, “Here, this is for you, Brother Long. It’s roasted peanuts from an old man in heaven who raises cows. This thing is called something like a Nine-Revolutions Great Elixir, it’s very nourishing. I eat it every day while drinking.”
Hearing this, the Old Dragon King was stunned. Huh? Peanuts roasted by an old man in heaven who raises cows? Which old man raises cows? And roasts peanuts? He couldn’t recall any immortal in heaven like that.
So, he asked me, puzzled, “What does this old man you’re talking about look like? I don’t recall any immortal in heaven who roasts peanuts.”
“It’s just that one with two young attendants, who’s always around a large furnace called the Eight Trigrams Furnace, roasting peanuts.”
Upon hearing this, the Old Dragon King’s pupils, which were originally as large as bronze bells, instantly dilated, as if they were about to pop out of his eye sockets.
His wrinkled face contorted with extreme shock, his mouth agape, his jaw almost dropping to the ground, revealing a completely disbelieving expression. He shouted in shock, “You, what did you just say that old man used to roast peanuts?”
“What the heck is the Eight Trigrams Furnace, and two kids fanning the flames there.”
“Ah? Roasting peanuts with the Eight Trigrams Furnace? This?…”
Seeing his unworldly and surprised demeanor, I said helplessly, “What’s wrong? Don’t all professional peanut roasters use large furnaces?”
“Th-th-th-this…”
The Old Dragon King stammered in disbelief for a long time, completely exhibiting an unworldly appearance.
I couldn’t help but feel a bit helpless, shaking my head, and said, “What’s so surprising about this? What’s so strange about someone roasting peanuts?”
But unexpectedly, the guy kept repeating, “Th-th-th-this…” He was so shocked that he could barely speak coherently.
I, for one, didn’t care. I started eating and drinking on my own. The guy was frozen there like he’d been acupunctured for half an hour, “Th-th-th-this…”
After he reacted, he quickly put away the two gourds of peanuts I gave him, as if he had received a great treasure.
Due to extreme excitement, his greenish dragon face was flushed, as if he had just married eight hundred wives.
