Chapter 266: Take A Big Slap From This Old Man
Everyone else also thought I had really fallen for this fool’s trick, and they all watched us with the appearance of watching a show.
“Pfft.”
“Ah!”
“Pfft!”
“Ugh!”
I played along with this guy for half of it, stabbing myself until I was barely recognizable, and before I could even react…
But if I keep acting like this, it’s meaningless, it’s all gotten boring. Just after he stabbed himself again, I stopped acting, took out a cigarette, lit it, and just watched him with a smile.
He stared at me with an expression of disbelief, as if asking me why I was fine. I didn’t pay him any attention.
He didn’t believe it and kept stabbing himself, trying to use this method to inflict the same injuries on me.
Hehehe, this is really funny, I’m going to get rich. As the old saying goes, the righteous path in the mortal world is full of hardships. If you want to practice such evil arts to harm others, you have to be prepared to like a big cow not eating grass but stubbornly eating its own milk. It’s purely self-inflicted humiliation.
Ah, people, when cultivating, you must cultivate wisdom, that is, your brain. Only when your brain is clear will you be intelligent. Look at his foolish disposition, his self-righteousness and self-entrapment. No matter how high his magic is cultivated, it’s useless, and it only harms himself.
Seeing this guy stabbing himself repeatedly, while I was still as if nothing happened, I hung in the air leisurely smoking a couple of cigarettes and watching.
Ximen Chuimaopi and the others finally reacted. One by one, they looked with disdain at the cultist of the evil god who was still stubbornly stabbing himself.
Among them was a red-haired kid who pulled out a scroll from behind his back, formed some hand seals, and slapped it.
“Bang!”
After the white smoke, hundreds of puppets holding weapons appeared beside him. This kid used spiritual energy to form threads connecting to these puppets and controlled them to pounce at me.
I, Laozi, pinched my cigarette with one hand and flicked the ember towards those wooden puppets; “Fire Style, Great Fire Annihilation.”
As my voice fell, the flicked ember grew explosively in the wind, instantly turning into a sea of fire that engulfed the puppets.
To be honest, this red-haired kid is really stupid. He actually brought out a bunch of puppets to try and deal with me? What kind of wood can withstand fire? This is only because I wasn’t fully prepared today. If I had been fully prepared, this guy would purely be sending me firewood for barbecue.
If I were to have a whole roasted pig barbecued with wood fire, cough cough cough, to put it crudely, it would definitely be amazing.
After I dealt with the red-haired kid, another man with a peculiar appearance and a black mask walked forward a few steps, tore off his cloak.
His body was covered in dense scars sewn with black thread. He formed hand seals, and four masked black monsters emerged from his back.
These four monsters had different appearances and simultaneously unleashed wind, fire, lightning, and earth magic.
Upon seeing this, I, Big Brother, rapidly formed hand seals. My speed was so fast that my hands were almost invisible.
After forming the seals, I opened my mouth and spat out a power with the attributes of wind, fire, lightning, and earth. Wind against wind, fire against fire, lightning against lightning, earth against earth, canceling out the attacks of the four monsters.
Seeing that none of his many subordinates could apprehend me, Ximen Chuimaopi signaled them to retreat, and he himself slowly floated into the sky. At the same time, he spread his arms and began to chant an incantation: “Ichidai, Mayou, Karagiro, Ichidai, Mayou, Kairou, Ichidai, Mayou, Kodore, Ichidai, Mayou, Ushire, Ichidai, Mayou, Shirenaretoni, Hondondon Gorouna Watara, Kokoyoni, Shikaiyoni, Kuwamiya, Shira tensui.”
After he finished chanting these incantations, the sky lit up with white light. Nothing else could be seen in the field of vision except for Ximen Chuimaopi standing before the white light.
“Boom boom boom!”
Suddenly, an invisible force, so powerful it was suffocating, erupted with a deafening roar! This force swept over like a surging tide, instantly engulfing me, Big Brother.
After the white light, a giant crater beyond imagination appeared on the solid earth, and surrounding buildings were blasted everywhere, creating a scene of utter devastation.
However, amidst this chaos, not a trace of me, Big Brother, could be found, as if I had never existed.
Ximen Chuimaopi scanned the surroundings, trying to find any fragments of my blasted remains.
After a long time with no success, he laughed to the sky; “Hahahaha! Hahahaha! All those who oppose my Ximen Family will die, hahaha!”
At this moment, above him, there was a handsome young man, standing on a golden cloud and urinating downwards.
“Gurgle~!”
“Cough cough cough.”
It happened to land in the mouth of that old man Ximen Chuimaopi, choking him into a violent cough.
That’s right! Wahahahaha, this person is none other than me, Big Brother, hehehe.
Just before the explosion, I, Big Brother, summoned the Golden Cloud and flew directly above Ximen Chuimaopi to avoid it.
Heeheehee, I say, cultivators like me who have brains are different. Although I could have endured this big explosion, it wouldn’t have hurt me too much, but it would still hurt, right? Who would be foolish enough to stand there and wait to be blown up? I’m not a tiger, am I?
Besides, this move of his is fierce, but it’s really not me being petty. He can only attack things in front of him and on the ground, his airspace is completely devoid of any threat. All I have to do is jump out of his attack range, right?
This is like cultivators facing any problem by directly stepping out of the problem and standing outside of it.
No matter how serious the problem is, if I step outside of it, the problem won’t affect me, and then I can solve it, right?
While Ximen Chuimaopi was still gagging, I, Laozi, jumped up again from the Golden Cloud. During the process, I saw a little bird, and I lightly tapped its back with my size 40 foot to show off.
Then, head down, I flew towards Ximen Chuimaopi with a palm technique from the sky. During the process, due to the high speed, there was intense friction with the air, and I, Big Brother, turned into a ball of flame.
This scene stunned Ximen Chuimaopi; he stood there dumbfounded; “What is this? Could this be? Is it that legendary lost palm technique from the sky?”
He asked in disbelief, “Could it be the Tathagata Divine Palm?”
I spat fiercely into my own palm and replied, “Wrong! It’s your father about to beat you up! You brat!”
Hearing this, Ximen Chuimaopi became enraged and almost vomited blood and died.
It’s slow in speaking, but it’s very fast in reality. It’s practically impossible for him to dodge now.
Just as I, Big Brother, was about to touch him, I yelled loudly:
“Damn it! Take this Big Slap from me!”
