Chapter 265: This Damned Big Stupid Chicken
After receiving the order, everyone behind Ximen Chuimaopi quickly dodged and took their stances.
The man carrying a giant white cloth-wrapped sword clasped his hands together, puffed out his cheeks, and spat violently at me. At the same time, he let out a shout from somewhere, “Water Style! Great Waterfall!”
As soon as he finished speaking, a massive wave erupted from his mouth, instantly turning the area into a lake.
I suddenly stood up, stomped on the ground, and flew into the sky. My fists moved like afterimages as I punched towards his direction, also shouting, “Ah cha! Cha cha cha cha cha! Ha tun qu ta tu!”
Innumerable fist shadows, flashing with flames like fiery birds, enveloped him.
The others were not idle either. The purple-haired woman summoned countless paper cranes from somewhere, which transformed into giant angelic wings behind her. As she waved her hands, the lake below churned, and sheets of paper painted with strange patterns flew out. In the center of each paper, a large character, explosion, was written.
She controlled these flying papers, each bearing the character for explosion, to trap me. She shouted, “Explode!”
“Boom boom boom!~”
The numerous flying papers detonated like small bombs, one after another. A large area of lake water was blasted into the sky, turning into raindrops.
In this critical moment, countless thoughts flashed through my mind; I thought, are these guys too damn brainless? Why are they all so impatient? Impatience is, damn it, a kind of emotion. Why can’t they slow down, control their emotions, and speak properly?
Everyone knows there’s the saying “impulsive temper,” but no one says “slow temper,” right? There’s only the word “slowpoke.”
Impulsive people are the most easily controlled by the emotion of impatience. They should train themselves to slow down, to reach the Way of Balance, so that they can become even more formidable.
Slowpokes are the opposite; they should occasionally speed up their reactions to be more adaptable in various situations.
Of course, I was still contemplating this issue at the moment, which was clearly a bit out of place.
The guys in front of me were all using ninjutsu techniques evolved from the Daoist Five Elements. Since that’s the case, Big Brother will use their own techniques against them.
I quickly formed hand seals: “Water Style, Water Diaphragm.”
As my voice fell, I spat out a waterfall-like volume of water, forming a rotating water wall that enveloped me.
“Boom boom boom boom boom!~”
After the explosion, a blond-haired man flew up to me, a huge smile on his face. “Witness my ultimate art.” His body then began to swell, and he shouted, “Ka! Ba ga cha!”
“Boom~!”
Another loud sound echoed, creating an explosion wave centered on me, resembling a giant SpongeBob SquarePants, that lingered in the air for a long time, completely engulfing me.
Damn it, this mortal world truly hides dragons and crouching tigers. These cultivators’ skills all have their unique characteristics. Their strength is not necessarily much weaker than that of ordinary immortals, and it’s not inferior to that of veteran immortals.
The power of this “Ba Ka Cha” technique, if used against other immortals, would be enough to turn them into ashes. But facing me, it was clearly not enough. After enduring this move head-on, it only managed to blow my shirt and pants to shreds, leaving me with no other injuries.
However, the person who unleashed this technique was clearly a complete idiot. After using this move, not only did it fail to harm me, but he himself flew away first. Damn it! Only a fool would cultivate this…
Seeing that the blond-haired man’s self-destruction didn’t harm me at all, a handsome man with blood-red eyes glared fiercely at me. Immediately, countless black crows swarmed around me, cawing incessantly, “Caw caw caw caw.”
Black flames ignited on my remaining stainless steel underpants, searing my lower body and giving me the illusion that my eggs were about to cook.
This infuriated me. Damn it, if you can’t win, you resort to dirty tricks, right?
I charged towards the man who unleashed the black flames and hugged him. “Come on, little buddy, let’s burn together. Damn it!”
The man’s previously calm and expressionless face showed terror at this moment. He glared fiercely again and retracted the black flames.
He had no choice but to retract them! Did he still want to burn me? Would I allow that? If we’re going to burn, we’ll burn together, and he won’t be spared either.
After retracting the flames, he looked down at his own crotch. A gentle breeze blew, and a chill ran up his lower body, entering his heart. What met his eyes was his bare, dark crotch.
Hehehe, my grandmother’s bear! He brought this upon himself. Without my pair of underpants for protection, his fate would naturally be indescribable.
“Ahhh!” After several screams, the kid retreated directly. The hatred in his eyes had turned into scarlet blood tears, flowing down his cheeks.
I had just subdued this kid.
That fool with the great scythe swung his scythe at me. I slightly turned my head to dodge, but then I realized this guy’s scythe was tied to a very, very long rope. Seeing that his attack missed, he yanked the scythe back with great force. Due to my inability to fully dodge, my ear was grazed by the scythe, drawing a little blood.
After yanking his scythe back, this guy licked the blood off it with his tongue, laughed to the sky a few times, and started drawing circles on the ground with his own blood. Soon, after he finished drawing the circle, he walked directly into it, his body instantly turning black and white.
He then pulled out a long, black rod from somewhere. One end was like a large steel needle. This guy raised this large black needle and was about to stab himself. Although I didn’t know what he was doing, I figured it couldn’t be anything good.
As the old saying goes, “When something is unusual, there must be a demon.”
How could I just sit there and wait to die? I secretly mobilized my mysterious power, drawing upon the opportunity of the wind, and quietly added two strokes to the circle this guy had drawn.
I don’t know what was wrong with this guy, but before stabbing himself, he performed a devout prayer. Something about “Great Evil God,” and “I am the Evil God’s most loyal believer.” I couldn’t quite hear the specifics from far away.
After his prayer, this fool started stabbing himself with the big black needle, all the while looking at me and smiling foolishly, “Hahaha, I will offer your life to the Great Evil God as a sacrifice. Enjoy the fear!”
Seeing this idiotic display, I felt like teasing him. He stabbed himself once, and I pretended to be in pain too, playing along with him: “Ah! What, what is this move? It actually? It actually? *Gasp*.”
As I spoke, I deliberately spat out some yellow saliva, stained from drinking too much tea, pretending to be spitting blood.
I have to say, this guy was truly beyond foolish. The stuff I spat out was clearly not blood, right? I don’t know what he was thinking. He got happy every time I spat, he got happy every time I spat. What a damn big fool.
