Chapter 145: Apologizing To Oneself
The false self has no fixed form, it changes according to the arrangement of one’s original heart. This is the state of no self and no other.
Nothing is absolutely right or wrong; right can be wrong, and wrong can be right.
Thinking itself is a paradox. Can humans fly? Then, unable to fly, they found ways to fly, and airplanes were invented.
When people go on long journeys, can they not ride horses? Small cars were invented.
Someone wondered if lightning could be captured and studied.
Then electricity was invented, leading to electric lights. In reality, all scientists are merely porters of nature; they start with doubt, research the traits and changes of matter, and then utilize them.
Nothing is created from nothing; it all already exists and is merely taken and used.
This “already exists” doesn’t mean airplanes and cars already existed, but rather that the matter composing them has always existed. Humans simply extract, process, and assemble these components, creating something else, which is called invention.
Everything originates from the natural world, acquired from nature. Therefore, we must protect and care for nature even more.
Without some plants absorbing carbon dioxide and producing oxygen, it would be difficult for humans to survive. Humans and nature are inherently one body.
The vital energy (qi) between them is interconnected. For example, smelling the fragrance of a flower or plant can improve one’s mood, or certain scents might be good for the lungs, while others are good for the stomach. Don’t underestimate these things.
Even observing the vitality emitted by plants can influence one’s psychological activity.
Wang Fei wanted to keep a potted plant, and the boy said there was no need to spend money; things would come naturally with the flow.
One evening, on the way back from a stroll, the boy happened to see a large pot of pothos by someone’s doorway. However, the owner was not present, and the boy did not touch it.
Wang Fei said, “Is this something someone doesn’t want anymore? Should we take it?”
The boy smiled and said, “Impossible. If they didn’t want it, they would have already thrown it by the trash can. It’s obvious they want it if it’s placed by the doorway; don’t touch other people’s things.”
“Impossible. If they still wanted it, why wouldn’t they bring it inside so late? Besides, this isn’t by the doorway; it’s across the way.”
The alley they were walking through at the time was only about one point eight to two meters wide, and the pothos was placed by the wall on the opposite side.
“It’s their property; they can put it wherever they want. Maybe they took it out to sunbathe during the day and forgot to bring it back, or maybe they intentionally placed it there. What business is it of yours where they put it?”
Seeing that the boy had so much to say and was unwilling to move the pothos, Wang Fei continued, “This is definitely unwanted. If you don’t move it, I will.”
Hearing Wang Fei say this, the boy laughed, “Holy crap, hahaha, you’re incredibly funny. To steal something, you even comfort yourself and brainwash yourself into thinking the flower is unwanted. You’re truly amazing.”
“How am I stealing? I’m just saying. Besides, it was already placed here by someone else. Did they say they still wanted it? What’s wrong with me taking it?”
“Then take it, damn it! Why don’t you go to a bank and take some money, claiming they don’t want it? The ATM is there every day, so you can say they’re discarding it, right? There’s no one around, so you can say they haven’t said they still want it, right? Why are you so selfish?” the boy couldn’t help but retort.
Upon hearing this, Wang Fei quickly explained, “I was just saying, I didn’t really intend to take it.”
The boy sneered, “Nonsense! You didn’t really intend to take it, you intended to trick me into taking it. You couldn’t trick me, and you don’t dare to take it yourself, damn it! Why do you keep saying they’re throwing it away and it’s unwanted? What does it have to do with you whether they throw it away or not? Let’s not be so useless!”
“I know, I was just saying. If you really asked me to move it, I wouldn’t.”
Seeing that Wang Fei had honestly admitted it after his scolding, the boy continued, “If you really want it, I’ll ask the owner for a few leaves when I happen to see them another day. This thing is super easy to grow; just soak it in water, and it will root, sprout, and grow a lot of leaves.”
This is ridiculous. Wang Fei almost misunderstood the boy’s earlier statement about things coming naturally with the flow. Cough, cough, damn it.
This is not what we call going with the flow; don’t misunderstand the word “flow.”
Don’t do wrong things impulsively. Before you die, when your brain explodes with energy, looking back on your life and examining yourself, then it will happen. Doing anything, like stealing chickens or dogs, will be reviewed by your conscience, and your conscience will distinguish between what is good and what is bad. The more good deeds you do, the more free your spirit will be; the more bad deeds you do, the more unhappy your spirit will be.
There is a saying: “When a man is about to die, his words are good.” This is exactly how it is; even the most evil person will have a change of heart at the end.
However, it’s not absolute. Be aware, there are those who are purely evil and will not change.
Don’t think of anything in absolute terms. Learn to look at problems from an inverted perspective, because many things in this world are actually the opposite.
For example, someone tells you that being honest and upright will lead to a good life, so you are polite and don’t argue with anyone in everything you do. But you find that not only do you not get a good outcome, but you also seem to be easily bullied by everyone.
Your honesty, uprightness, and politeness are not wrong. The mistake lies in the lack of moderation; exceeding the balance makes people feel that it is acceptable to bully you, and if you are easily bullied, you should be bullied.
Conversely, sometimes if you are a bit fierce, others will fear you and dare not provoke you. However, you will then be isolated by others. This is also exceeding the balance.
Find that balance for yourself. Being kind and compassionate is a good thing, but too much of it can aid evil. Sometimes, intentionally displaying your strength, or making others understand that you are not foolish and are not to be trifled with, can actually stop others’ malice.
If this balance is not managed well, and one side is too high, people will feel wronged. They feel wronged whether they are bullied or isolated, and they don’t understand why.
Sometimes, people should apologize to themselves for not understanding this principle for so many years, causing themselves so much grievance.
Why do we cry when we see a temple or feel warmth from someone? There are two reasons. One is ignorance, meaning not understanding, and feeling one’s own suffering and grievances, which accumulate over time.
Another reason is that the true self is suppressed by the false self. The true self, which is naturally complete and free and unfettered, cannot manifest. One lives unhappily, feeling suffocated and wronged. Can that not lead to feelings of grievance?
Human nature is to love being unrestrained and free. Being trapped by various restrictions in one’s own cognition, worrying about this, not daring to do that, wanting to do one thing but worrying about another, doing that and then worrying about this, becoming entangled and anxious, the heart is bruised and battered.
“Put down the butcher knife and become a Buddha.” What is being put down is always the butcher knife in one’s own heart. People hurt their own hearts with their self-righteousness; this fear, that chaos, thoughts like willow leaves, scraping at the heart.
Can one not feel sad? It would be strange if one didn’t! Have you ever seen a live pig facing the knife that isn’t terrified, fearful, and squealing?
When people are ignorant, they are no different from lambs waiting to be slaughtered by life.
Encounter a small problem, and feel that you should be annoyed, unable to figure it out, or accustomed to being annoyed, and so you become annoyed.
Encounter a small good thing, and your heart feels happy again, and you feel better.
It looks normal, but in reality, it’s all arranged. These are shackles.
Where does good and bad come from? You think of it first, don’t you? You habitually differentiate, don’t you? This is actually a specific pattern.
（ Isn’t this statement blunt enough? If you still don’t understand this, I really don’t dare to speak directly anymore. I have already disrupted the order for the sake of giving you more possibilities. Because I fear you will be trapped in pain, going through reincarnation like I did, and I also fear you will suffer unbearably and want to give up like Zhuan Shen! I am not a savior. If you can understand what I’m saying, you can learn to save yourself. If you don’t understand, it’s no different from listening to a story or listening to someone fart. ）
