Chapter 185: You Are The King
The boy remembered a friend from the past. Why “from the past”? Because this person suddenly disappeared.
It was a roommate the boy met when he first started working in the south. Since this roommate was quite cheerful, he and the boy became close. The boy also treated him like a younger brother, often inviting him out to eat whenever he had free time.
Interestingly, this roommate had the exact same name as a classmate the boy had in school; his name was also Jian Xin.
Jian Xin was the type of person who remembered the kindness of others. When he had some money, he always wanted to treat the boy to a meal.
During this time, Jian Xin also rented a room, which was very close to the boy’s rental, only a two-minute walk away.
Several months passed in the blink of an eye, and it was the end of the year. They had originally agreed that if neither of them went home for the New Year, they would spend it together.
On the evening of the twenty-eighth day of the lunar calendar, Jian Xin even came to the boy’s rental room to have tea and chat.
Who knew that just one day later, this person had vanished into thin air.
No matter how much the boy messaged him on WeChat, he received no replies. He called out a few times downstairs from Jian Xin’s rented room, but there was no response.
At first, the boy didn’t think much of it. He assumed Jian Xin had suddenly gone home, perhaps due to being too busy.
But the more he thought about it, the more it felt wrong. How could a living, breathing person just disappear so suddenly?
Besides, given their relationship, if Jian Xin had gone home, he would surely have told the boy. Why would he leave without a word? The boy had even bought extra food for him when he went shopping for the New Year.
Two months passed in the blink of an eye, and Jian Xin still hadn’t shown up. The boy worried something had happened to him and reported it to the police station. The police station said that Jian Xin’s family would have to report him missing.
The boy felt helpless. No matter how worried he was, there was nothing he could do. This person had been missing for over two years and still hadn’t reappeared.
The boy went from initial worry to helplessness, and finally to relief. He was the only one among all his friends who had mysteriously disappeared.
It wasn’t until the boy attained enlightenment and severed his passive attachments that he let this matter go.
Ah, people, precisely because they are sentient, often attach their hearts to others and become entangled. Because they are friends, they miss them, but what good does missing them do? It’s nothing more than ignorance, occasionally thinking of them and feeling sad. In essence, it’s self-indulgence stemming from one’s own will.
It’s like many things are this way. For example, if someone says something about you, and you don’t say anything or care about it, but later you think about it, you feel unusually upset and unhappy inside.
Or, for instance, if a friend or family member says something, and you originally don’t take it to heart, but later when you recall it, you still feel irritated.
These kinds of things seem insignificant, seemingly nothing much. But as time goes on and more of them accumulate, they become a tormenting inner demon.
When they all pile up, and you can’t get over these hurdles in your mind, you easily fall into a big pit of self-doubt and self-negation.
Over time, people tend to become depressed. The word “depression” itself isn’t that scary. Most people experience it, but no one pays attention to it. Whether one gets it and recovers is often baffling.
If you examine it closely, you realize, “Damn, everyone has some of these symptoms to some extent.”
Things like low mood, loss of interest, anxiety, slowed thinking, self-blame, and guilt.
There are also the “three no’s” symptoms: helplessness, uselessness, and hopelessness.
Helplessness: Reduced self-evaluation, feeling worthless and full of failure.
Uselessness: Feeling powerless and isolated.
Hopelessness: Believing there is no way out, no hope, and a bleak future.
These might not seem like much, right? Everyone can relate to some of these things!
So, is everyone depressed? Certainly not! Then why do they all have corresponding symptoms?
It comes from various things and people in life. When others fart around you a lot, you inadvertently take it in. Later, when you think about it, it’s really bothersome. And after a lot of such “farts,” who wouldn’t get agitated?
There’s a saying: “Living without a care is not tiring.” It means let others say whatever they want; it has nothing to do with you. It’s all just their own opinions.
In other words, bring your mind back and focus on yourself. Don’t be too sensitive to external matters, because no one can empathize with you as you do with yourself. You don’t need anyone’s understanding or approval; you only need to understand and approve of yourself.
Even Buddha himself gets cursed by some people. Sometimes, it’s because people are spoiled.
If you’re unwilling, then push back. Don’t keep it inside yourself. Every thought arises as a cause and effect. Today you feel you’ve sown a minor cause, and tomorrow you’ll reap the fruit of annoyance.
Whoever wants to be annoyed, let them be. Don’t let yourself be annoyed.
Some people say, “Why do good people die young and bad people live long?”
The reason is right here. When good people don’t understand, they always think they are good and right, so they endure everything themselves. Not only do they endure it, but they keep it all inside, feeling suffocated. How can they live long?
What about bad people? Bad people do whatever makes them happy. They don’t bottle things up inside, so how can they not live long?
Those bad people who don’t live long are because heaven has struck them down. As long as they know to restrain themselves and give back to society, their crimes wouldn’t be punishable by death. Heaven would leave them a sliver of hope.
This is not to encourage anyone to be a bad person, but simply to illustrate these two mindsets.
One is the self-righteous belief that one is good, followed by feigned generosity, but every single event is internalized and cannot be let go. This “goodness” isn’t true goodness; it’s self-abuse. After a long time of self-abuse, one gets sick.
The other is: “Whatever others do, let them. I’ll do what makes me happy. Say whatever you want; I’ll just argue back if I don’t like it. No one is going to spoil you.” By not internalizing bothersome matters, the body naturally stays healthy.
Many people worry, “Oh dear, this is my friend, they said a few words to me, I should just tolerate it,” for fear of losing this friend if they argue back. What a big fool! She’s not afraid of losing you, so why are you so scared? Will fearing loss prevent you from losing her? Will fearing the flower will wither stop it from withering?
The more you fear something, the more likely you are to be harmed by it. Conversely, the less you fear it, the less likely you are to lose it.
People come and go, and I remain unconcerned. When they come, I welcome them; when they leave, I find relief. Just as the wind comes and goes, and the rain falls and stops, I remain unshaken in my upward aspirations, unaffected by the wind and rain.
A fragile inner heart is not a good thing. No one can accompany another forever. Don’t be afraid of losing anyone; it’s all temporary. First, dare to say no to things you are unwilling to do, and then you can live as yourself. If you listen to this person and that person, you’ll end up having no opinions of your own. Who wouldn’t be dazed then? Who wouldn’t feel upset?
When you know full well that no one can empathize with you, why insist on making others understand you? If everyone understood you, wouldn’t they all become you?
That cognitive perception is a big bug. It seems the same, but in reality, it’s completely different.
Learn to understand yourself, advise yourself, and encourage yourself. This is the king’s way. Only when you approve of yourself can you become the best version of yourself!
The victor becomes king, the vanquished is a bandit. When you live as yourself and live wonderfully, hehe, in fact, you are the king.
