Chapter 226: Golden Cicada
Originally, I thought that causing a ruckus in the Underworld, without causing any serious consequences, would just be let go.
Who knew, it turns out Big Brother was thinking too little.
As it happens, Godfather asked Uncle Li to notify me, saying Empress Houtu wanted to see me, and she seemed very angry about the previous incident.
Forget about my ass, seeing Empress Houtu, even Big Brother is a bit nervous.
Usually, when making sworn brotherhood vows, we often say: “Heaven above, Houtu as witness.”
The “Heaven” in this refers to the Jade Emperor, the king of the Heavenly Realm. “Houtu” refers to Empress Houtu, who is Mother Earth.
Everyone thought the Underworld was beneath the earth, but actually, the Underworld is just one of the regions governed by Empress Houtu.
After receiving this news, Big Brother was in a complete panic. Although Empress Houtu wouldn’t kill me, what if she slapped Big Brother’s face?
Things really turned out as Big Brother predicted. As soon as I arrived, Empress Houtu, with her incredibly beautiful face, pinched Big Brother’s cheek in anger and berated me: “Hmph? You brat, you’ve got some nerve! From the first time you entered the Underworld, I’ve been observing your every move. Don’t think I don’t know what you’ve been up to in the Underworld. You’ve been showing off endlessly, haven’t you? Hmph? You even fought with Ksitigarbha and Zhong Kui. Brat, if you dare to show off again, I’ll twist your face off, believe it or not?”
Big Brother was in so much pain, what could I do? What could I do? I couldn’t win a fight, and I didn’t dare to pretend. She’s Mother Earth! She’s one of the most powerful benevolent deities. We all grew up nourished by her. Er Bai, what should Big Brother do?
Just act humble, pretend to be a grandson, what else can I do?
“Heh heh, Elder Sister, Elder Sister, please stop pinching. I admit I was wrong, alright?”
Hearing this, Empress Houtu was so angry she laughed. What kind of seniority is this? I call Ksitigarbha Grandfather, Zhong Kui Uncle, and King Yama Godfather. Empress Houtu is a much higher being, with countless generations of superiority. I’m actually calling her Elder Sister?
“Hmph? What did you call me? Say it again if you dare?”
“Heh heh, Elder Sister, beautiful and invincible Empress Houtu, in my heart you are as compassionate as a mother and as kind as an elder sister. And you are so beautiful that I can’t help but call you Elder Sister. Elder Sister, please don’t pinch me anymore, I admit defeat.”
Empress Houtu originally wanted to kick Big Brother, but seeing how well Big Brother spoke and praised her, she was directly amused; she raised her hand and gave Big Brother’s back a light tap.
“Brat, who taught you to talk like that? You’re so eloquent, hahahaha.”
This single tap meant nothing to her, but it was torture for Big Brother. What was my cultivation level? Mother Earth patted me once? Damn, my blood rushed to my throat and then I swallowed it back. It’s not that I didn’t want to spit it out, I really didn’t dare! If I spat on the ground and disgusted Empress Houtu, I wouldn’t even know how I died, and even death wouldn’t help; everything is under her jurisdiction. Damn it!
“Heh heh, Elder Sister, I know I was wrong. From now on, I’ll behave myself when I’m in the Underworld. Heh heh, please don’t be angry anymore. There’s a saying in the mortal world that beautiful women get wrinkles when they’re angry. You’re so beautiful, you shouldn’t get angry with me, heh heh.”
Big Brother forced a bitter smile, like a chrysanthemum, and fawned over her.
Actually, I was about to cry. Damn! It was too terrifying!
Seeing me holding back tears and forcing a smile on my face.
Empress Houtu couldn’t help but burst into laughter:
“Hahahaha, hahahaha, Golden Cicada, Golden Cicada, I didn’t expect you to be cornered by me, hahahaha…”
Hearing Empress Houtu say that, Big Brother was bewildered. What? What’s this Golden Cicada? She’s not going to fry me into a golden brown and eat me, is she? Huh?
Thinking of this, Big Brother’s head started to sweat uncontrollably. This was the first time I had sweated since I began cultivating! I’m not afraid of death, I’ve never feared anything, but when such a powerful being mocks me like this, Big Brother feels like an idiot. It’s as if she recognized the original me, then I lost my memory, and now seeing me afraid of her, she’s mocking me…
I…
…
On the other side, Celestial Master Zhong Kui and Ksitigarbha Bodhisattva were in a small courtyard. Zhong Kui said, “Old Di, what’s the background of this kid? He’s been with us brothers for many years. I never felt he was anything special before, but why did his strength suddenly increase so much when he fought us that day?”
Hearing Zhong Kui speak, Ksitigarbha rolled his eyes and retorted, “Sigh, you’ve been cultivating for so many years, Brother Kui, and you still haven’t realized this? Brother Kui, I don’t mind telling you, my Tianding actually heard it long ago. This kid, don’t let his nonchalant appearance fool you, he’s a reincarnation of Golden Cicada. It’s just that he doesn’t know it himself. Before he came down, Tathagata sealed his memory with his great magical power. You, Brother Kui, should be more discreet with this kid from now on. If you fight him again, I won’t help you. We are of the same origin, so I’ll be fine, but you, Brother Kui, might not be!”
Celestial Master Zhong Kui, who was initially displeased with Ksitigarbha calling him “Brother Kui” repeatedly, was stunned on the spot upon hearing that he was the reincarnation of Golden Cicada. After a long while, he finally came to his senses: “Damn! No wonder! No wonder I always felt this brat was so stubborn! Back then, Golden Cicada was defiant even when facing his master Tathagata. Otherwise, why would he have been banished to the mortal world to escort a monkey, a pig, and a kappa demon on a journey for scriptures? So that’s why, no wonder, no wonder.”
…
At the Water Curtain Cave on Flower-Fruit Mountain, inside the cave dwelling, a monkey, a pig, and a kappa demon carrying a large carrying pole were enjoying drinks together. The three of them sneezed one after another:
“Achoo~!”
“Achoo~!”
…
After sneezing, the pig said with a silly grin, “Damn Monkey Brother, after drinking tonight, I won’t be staying at your place anymore. It must be that Sister Chang’e misses me, heh heh heh. Tonight, old pig will take a stroll to the Moon Palace. Damn it, I haven’t been there in years. I can’t let that woodcutter Wu Gang snatch my spot, hmph.”
Hearing the pig say this, the kappa on the side teased, “Oh, give it a rest, Second Brother. Do you even know what you look like? Do you remember how you were banished back then? Wasn’t it because you got drunk and got lustful, scared Chang’e, displeased the Jade Emperor, and were struck down to become a pig?”
Hearing this, the pig’s eyes widened: “Stop spewing nonsense, you! You, you, your mouth wasn’t this chatty during the journey for scriptures, was it? And you have the nerve to talk about me? At least I was punished for getting drunk and acting crazy. You, a fool, broke a lamp and got kicked down. You have the nerve to talk about me?”
The monkey sitting in the middle saw his two junior brothers endlessly bickering after a few drinks and feared they would start fighting. He slammed the table and roared, “Stop your nonsense! Are you done? Have you forgotten my temper? Damn it! All of you shut up! If you keep bickering, I’ll send you both away with one blow! Did you hear me?”
As soon as the monkey spoke, the two immediately shut their mouths. After drinking several bowls of wine, their internal panic subsided.
The pig said fawningly, “Heh heh, Monkey Brother, don’t be angry. How many years have you been cultivating? Why are you still so hot-tempered? I was just joking with Third Brother, please don’t be angry.”
The kappa also said, “Heh heh, Senior Brother, please don’t be angry. How many years has it been since my mouth was this cheeky? I was just using the alcohol to joke with Second Brother, please don’t be angry.”
Seeing them like this, the monkey withdrew his anger and then sighed, “Sigh… I wonder where Master has reincarnated this time. Before he left, he told me to gather everyone and wait for him. When he returns, we brothers will have another great battle. It’s been many years since he left, and there’s been no news at all? Sigh…”
