Chapter 291: Nurse, Please Don’t Drip
It truly feels like three years have passed in a dream; the scene of the little girl’s arrival is still vivid in my mind, and in the blink of an eye, three years have passed.
In these three years, Xiao Ling’er went from being polite to me at the very beginning, calling me “Shopkeeper” to now calling me “Eldest” like Xiao Sanzi. She’s become incredibly disrespectful, not acting like an outsider with me at all, to the point where we even exchange underwear.
I…
She doesn’t treat me like a man, or perhaps she doesn’t treat herself like a woman. It’s like I’m her older brother and also her best friend, and even more than a best friend.
This kind of relationship is indescribable.
In my eyes, although this girl has grown up, she still feels like a younger sister, like a child, with no significant difference. It’s just that when she takes care of me, outwardly I resemble a child being cared for more.
I don’t know how I taught her, or perhaps she learned it from others, influencing this girl. People are most afraid of being ignorant and clueless when young; men lose their yang, and women lose their yin. That is to say, boys wander in the sea of desire, and girls play alone in the spring of fate.
And when the mind is not complete, one cannot control these desires, which can cause great damage to the body.
So, to prevent such things from happening, I prematurely told these siblings too much about these matters. Xiao Goudan was so disciplined by me that he didn’t dare to harbor any evil thoughts. However, Xiao Ling’er was taught by me to the point where she’s unfazed by such things and has no evil thoughts whatsoever.
Sometimes I wonder if I spoil Xiao Ling’er a bit too much. After all, she’s still a young girl, and it might not be entirely appropriate for her to be so close to someone like me, who looks young but has an inner heart like an old monster. Although in her heart she sees me as both a brother and a father, what will happen when this girl gets married in the future?
During this time, I tried transforming into an old man with a wrinkled face, and also into a pig demon with a foul stench.
But this girl acted as if she were foolish; no matter what appearance I took, she treated me the same without complaint. However, she only treated me this way.
I had Xiao Sanzi transform into many handsome men in the eyes of the mortal world, but she was completely indifferent to Xiao Sanzi.
Even when taking care of her own younger brother, she wouldn’t treat him the way she treats me. This is truly bizarre.
It makes me constantly reflect on this issue. Were the methods I used to teach her “breaking illusions” too wicked, to the point that this girl sees me as no different from herself? All external appearances are like illusions to her when she’s in front of me. Many times, this girl even asks me to scrub her back when she bathes. Fortunately, I’m quick-witted and say I need to pee and turn away immediately. Cough cough cough.
I was so scared that I never dared to enlighten people like this again. This is truly a case of, although I said, “If I don’t go to hell, who will?” I did, but this girl won’t let me out, I’m drunk…
Those who know understand that she has no worldly rules with me; those who don’t would think we have some unspeakable relationship.
Er Bai, it’s really not like that. She doesn’t see me as any kind of relationship; you could say she doesn’t even see me as a person…
It’s not her fault, it’s my fault for teaching her too much about “breaking illusions,” to the point that there’s no distinction between male and female with me.
…
I watched her stand before my bed with a smiling face.
After I reacted, I quickly pulled the blanket over my aroused brother.
My expression unchanged, I said, “Don’t you have any decorum as a young lady anymore? Don’t you know there’s a difference between men and women?”
Xiao Ling’er didn’t indulge me at all. Starting from taking her underpants off my face, she began to lift my blanket.
“Hiss~!”
To my stunned amazement, she put them on me. After putting on my underpants, she put on my pants and shirt.
I…
At this moment, I genuinely had the illusion of being in a hospital, cared for by a kind nurse.
I almost couldn’t help but say to her, “Nurse, please don’t. I can dress myself, you don’t need to be polite…”
Good heavens, I thought to myself, it’s just this once. From then on, she would come every morning to dress me.
I mean, I’m not some emperor, prince, or noble young master; how can I endure such service? It gives me a constant urge to run away.
It’s just that Goudan is still young, and I can’t bear to leave him. If Goudan were older, I would have already divorced, uh, no, I would have already gone off to wander.
Also, Xiao Sanzi keeps trying to persuade me;
“Eldest, why don’t you appreciate the blessings you have? For others, this is such a good thing! Someone is taking care of you, why are you different from others? Contentment leads to happiness, my Eldest.”
Every time this guy tries to persuade me, I kick him twice. I am a god, not a baby! Although I’m a bit mischievous sometimes, it doesn’t warrant this much care. Besides, why do I need care? I can do everything myself!
After breakfast, I pulled Xiao Sanzi out to play.
Seeing me run out as if escaping, Xiao Sanzi teased, “Oh dear, someone is still taking them in, huh? Humph, this isn’t taking them in; isn’t this just finding a personal nanny for yourself?”
I knitted my brows; “Damn it! You little brat! Have I spoiled you? Damn it!”
“Hee-ha!”
“Little thief, take this!”
While Xiao Sanzi wasn’t paying attention, I kicked him squarely in the backside.
Xiao Sanzi ran off, wagging his dragon tail and yelping, “Help! Eldest is going to kill a dragon!”
I chased Xiao Sanzi for two miles. Damn him, after getting so familiar with me, they’ve all become like this?
They respect me, yet they play around with me disrespectfully.
But I don’t dislike this way of interacting. As long as there is respect in their hearts, that’s enough. There’s no need to be so formal in everyday interactions. In other words, after getting familiar with me, just be yourself; there’s no need to be too reserved just because I taught you things. However, one must also grasp this boundary. After all, I treat everyone differently.
Xiao Goudan once learned from his sister. He ran to my bedside early in the morning, slapped my backside, and threw his smelly socks at my face, telling me, “It’s so late, get up quickly. My sister ruined your socks, so wear mine first. What? You’re not getting up? Come, I’ll help you get dressed!”
After he said that, I beat him so badly that his buttocks were bruised. I hung him up at the tavern entrance for half a month.
Damn it! This kid still hasn’t learned his lesson. He again teased me like Xiao Sanzi, saying, “Oh my, someone is in the midst of blessings but doesn’t know it.” I beat him up again.
Damn, this kid, who’s barely grown up, doesn’t learn the good things but learns a lot of the bad. How can I not discipline him?
Besides, can his hands be as soft as his sister’s? And Xiao Sanzi has thick skin and can take a beating when he teases me, but can this little kid?
