Chapter 68: Listen, Listen To What He’s Saying! Seeking Monthly Tickets
“Brother Biao, what should we do now? The Emperor has fainted again, and we…”
As chaos erupted around them and Zhang Biao’s mind raced, Shen Lang’s voice suddenly reached his ears.
Zhang Biao paused, then looked around, his gaze settling on Shen Lang’s face, and he chuckled, “We are censors. The job of a censor is to criticize people. Now that everyone has been criticized into fainting, it’s time to pack up and go home!”
“Pack up and go home?”
Shen Lang’s eyes widened, and he said incredulously, “Brother Biao means we can leave?”
“Why else?”
Zhang Biao shrugged his shoulders, then, amused, said, “Are you waiting for the Emperor to invite you to dinner? He won’t be buying you any more pig’s head meat!”
“It’s not that, Brother Biao, I mean, the Emperor he…”
Saying this, Shen Lang pointed in the direction where Old Zhu was being carried away, a dreamy expression of ‘Is that it?’ on his face.
“Nonsense!”
Zhang Biao shot him a look, then clasped his hands behind his head, adopting a devil-may-care attitude, and said playfully:
“Boss Zhu has been sent to the hospital for emergency treatment, so what’s the point of working overtime? Are you waiting to be framed by Jiang the Skinflint?”
“Censor Zhang, can we really go?”
Sun Gui held up his chamber pot lamp, still in a pose like the Statue of Liberty.
Zhang Biao looked at him, his mouth twitching, and then impatiently said:
“Alright! Enough with the nonsense, let’s go! Pack up your props too; these are important props for performance art, and we’ll need them next time we demand our salaries!”
Upon hearing this, Sun Gui felt as if he had been granted a great pardon. He quickly blew out the pungent chamber pot lamp in his hand and tucked it away reverently, considering it a future heirloom for his family.
Meanwhile, Li Mo hopped on one foot searching for his shoe, making for a comical scene.
As for Zhao Fengman and other low-ranking capital officials, they helped each other up from the golden brick floor.
everyone’s feet were almost numb, and they walked like a group of penguins that had just come ashore.
“Stop—!”
Seeing this group of ‘artists’ who had just come from the ‘performance art’ site, supporting each other and staggering towards the exit of the square.
Li Jinglong couldn’t help but shout at them first.
Although he was now quite intimidated by this group of people, especially the one named Zhang Biao, he couldn’t lose face!
If the Emperor fainted and these ‘instigators’ were allowed to walk away swaggering, how would the nobles present save face?!
“Indeed! All of you, stop right there!”
Ru Chang also reacted, forcing himself to maintain his authority, and blocking Zhang Biao and the others with his belly, he said with feigned ferocity, “The Emperor is unwell; you are all the culprits, how can you just leave?!”
Saying this, fearing he couldn’t intimidate this group, he quickly beckoned to Jiang Huan, “Commander Jiang! Why aren’t you swiftly apprehending these rebellious officials and traitors?!”
“Grass! My! Horse!”
Jiang Huan irritably recalled this new learning phrase, thinking to himself, “Are you out of your mind?!”
Kicking the can to me? And ordering an arrest? The Emperor hasn’t woken up yet, who knows what his attitude will be.
Didn’t you see that ‘loyal official’ Zhou Ya being skinned and lit on fire? Just because he called Zhang Biao a demon person who brings ruin to the country!
Despite his internal grumbling, Jiang Huan calmly turned his gaze to Zhang Biao.
However, before Zhang Biao could speak, Marquis of Wuding Guo Ying, who had been so angered he almost had a heart attack earlier, also chimed in, leaning on his cane, wanting to defend his honor, “That’s right! You can’t leave! Zhang Biao, this scoundrel, has angered the Emperor into fainting, he deserves to die a thousand deaths!”
Then, he pointed his cane at Shen Lang and the others, “And you lot…”
“Old Man Guo!”
Zhang Biao directly interrupted him, his voice not loud, but filled with impatient disgust,
“You stinky rock that’s been soaking in a latrine for eighty years, why don’t you stop jumping around? You reek worse than Sun Gui’s chamber pot lamp!”
“I suggest you hurry home and check your concubines’ account books to see if your grandson secretly altered them! Lest you be ruined and have to pawn even your underwear one day!”
“You, you—*cough*!”
Guo Ying was so enraged that his old face turned red. He threw down his cane, pointed at Zhang Biao, and after sputtering “you” several times, he couldn’t draw a breath and fainted.
“Master!”
His household generals rushed forward to carry him away, and the noble faction instantly suffered a loss.
Seeing the old Marquis fall, Li Jinglong retracted the foot he had just stepped forward, his eyes darting around as he pretended to look at the sky.
Fu Youwen was even more skillful. As soon as he saw Zhang Biao’s gaze sweep over, he tactically retreated, shrinking behind Ru Chang’s wide back as if he didn’t exist.
Ru Chang, on the other hand, looked bewildered, feeling like an island abandoned by his teammates.
Zhang Biao walked directly up to Ru Chang and sized him up, his gaze like he was looking at pork belly on a chopping block.
“Zhang Biao, you…”
Ru Chang felt a chill run down his spine under Zhang Biao’s gaze, and his flabby body trembled.
“What about me?”
Zhang Biao looked down condescendingly and said slowly, “You can’t even boss around Commander Jiang? He’s the Emperor’s top enforcer! You think you’re qualified to tell him what to do? What, do you want to be Emperor!?”
*Rumble!*
Ru Chang’s face turned pale, and he subconsciously glanced at Jiang Huan.
Jiang Huan was staring intently at him, his hand resting on the Xiuchun Saber at his waist, sharpening his blade.
“You! You’re talking nonsense, I don’t…”
Ru Chang quickly tried to explain, but Zhang Biao interrupted him, “I know you don’t, with your character, you still want to be Emperor? Bah!”
“Oh, right, get out of the way, you’re blocking the path?”
“Zhang Biao! Don’t be so arrogant! I, this official…” Ru Chang still tried to hold his ground.
“Tsk, tsk, tsk…”
Zhang Biao said with another look of disdain,
“Alright, alright, I know you are loyal and devoted, wanting to share the Emperor’s burdens. But your actual ability is truly lacking! Have you sorted out the Ministry of War’s account books? Have you issued enough winter clothes to the border soldiers? How many mu of land occupied by the military farms have you reclaimed?”
“You haven’t done anything right, and you’re here acting loyal? Can you be more loyal than Zhou Ya?”
Saying this, he pointed to the bloody scene in the corner, which made Ru Chang’s scalp tingle. He was instantly speechless and then painfully moved aside.
“Boss…”
Several Imperial Guards, seeing Zhang Biao and his group approaching them, had their hearts in their mouths and turned to look at Jiang Huan.
Jiang Huan waved his hand at them without a word, signaling them to politely make way.
Only after Zhang Biao and his group had passed safely did a ruthless glint flash in his eyes.
This madman had better not fall into my hands, or I will make him wish he had never been born.
Hmph, daring to make the Emperor faint again and again.
Truly doesn’t know the meaning of death!
“Oh, right! Fellow colleagues! Wang Mazi’s house is having a 20% discount on pig’s head meat group purchases today, don’t miss out! Mention my name for extra discounts~”
Just as everyone watched Zhang Biao and his group leave Hall of Supreme Harmony Square with complex expressions, Zhang Biao, walking at the front, suddenly turned back and shouted.
“What the heck!”
The entire Hall of Supreme Harmony Square staggered!
Pig’s head meat group purchase with a 20% discount! Are you listening to yourself right now!?
