Chapter 181: America’s Marvelous Muggles
“If it were the President, he’d surely have great research interest…”
Remus suddenly thought.
“What are you spacing out for?”
The sudden question startled Remus. He quickly looked towards the sound and then breathed a sigh of relief.
It was Kingsley.
Dressed in hip-hop attire, looking very avant-garde, Kingsley, with heavy bags under his eyes and looking exhausted, walked over listlessly.
“Didn’t sleep well last night? You look like you’re about to drop dead.”
“If I don’t leave this godforsaken place soon, even if I don’t drop dead, I’ll commit suicide from going insane.” After complaining, he came to Remus’s side, summoned some clear water to wash his face, and sighed, “Phew—I feel alive again. You have no idea, my tent was full of Black people; the smell in the morning was just…”
Remus interrupted his lament: “White people aren’t much better. Please don’t make me recall that scene again, thank you.”
Kingsley shrugged and asked, “Any gains yesterday?”
He was asking about the investigation into Third Salem.
Remus shook his head: “No leads at all. I’ve been here for three days, and I still don’t even know where to start. These Muggles—”
As he was speaking, from the woods near the riverbank, a strange howl approached from afar.
“Ooh~ooh~ooh~~~~~~~~”
The two turned their heads and saw the bushes at the edge of the woodland part. A naked, fat, pale man rushed out, shouting strangely, ran past them, and plunged into the river.
2 seconds later, he sank…
The two exchanged a look: “Sigh!”
No need to think, another one high on drugs, burning with heat, instinctively wanting to cool down, but so out of their minds they didn’t even remember if they could swim—what a fool!
They had seen many such people in the past few days.
The so-called demonstration was just a pretense; revenge socializing and gathering to embark on a fantastical journey in the world of drugs and alcohol were the true objectives of these Muggles.
Then, while doing drugs, they also promoted environmentalism and vegetarianism. This was considered a side gig, opening their eyes to what freedom and democracy truly meant.
Even Kingsley, who considered himself experienced in Muggle society and thought he understood Muggles well, never expected that his so-called understanding was merely looking through a mist. Only in the past few days did he realize—Muggles possessed such diversity.
The two sighed and rescued the fat man who had sunk to the bottom from the water.
Perhaps because he had been submerged in water, the fat man, who had been in a state of heightened excitement and burning heat just moments before, sobered up after spitting out river water.
He tearfully hugged Remus’s and Kingsley’s legs: “Thank you, my friend, and you too, my African brother. If not for you, I’d probably be meeting my grandmother by now.”
Remus impassively pried his hands away: “How do you feel? Is anything wrong?”
“No, no, nothing’s wrong.” The fat man licked his lips and mumbled, “Why does the river water taste so strange…”
Remus’s face twitched.
This section of the river was downstream from the campsite. With over a hundred messy individuals at the campsite, one pee each was enough to enrich the downstream periodic table; no wonder it tasted strange!
The fat man’s drug-addled brain clearly lacked the capacity to think. He immediately forgot his confusion and stared at Remus and Kingsley for a moment with his dazed eyes.
Suddenly, he slapped his thigh: “I remember you! You’re Tonks’s friends. And you…” He pointed at Remus, then seemed to recall something, his expression becoming serious. He grasped Remus’s hand: “I’m sorry, I was high just now, please forgive my slip of the tongue, sister!”
Remus, who had an LGBT persona: “…”
Speaking of which, he had almost forgotten the persona Tonks had created for him.
“And you, bro!” The fat man skillfully bumped fists with Kingsley, making a series of complex hand gestures. “Tonks told me about you. Your experiences are heartbreaking. Damn Bush, damn the Elephant Party! But you don’t have to worry. We’re here to resist injustice and oppose those rednecks who deserve to be blown up by their guns…”
Talking about rednecks, the fat man babbled on, gritting his teeth.
Remus and Kingsley exchanged bewildered glances.
Resist injustice?
Weren’t these past two days’ protests part of the “Third Salem Movement”?
What did it have to do with injustice? Was this Third Salem some organization seeking justice for wizards?
It didn’t seem like it!
After a period of incessant rambling, the drug’s effects finally wore off. He broke out in a sweat, his face pale, appearing weak yet relaxed.
Standing up, he thanked Remus and Kingsley for their rescue once more and said to them, “Sister, brother, we have another core member meeting this afternoon. You can come with Tonks to discuss our grand plan!”
With that, he staggered away.
Leaving the two stunned, wanting to say something but seemingly unable to articulate anything.
A meeting?
Grand plan?
What on earth was going on!
After the fat man left, the two discussed and decided it would be best to find Tonks and get clarification.
Speaking of which, they had rarely seen Tonks these past few days.
That witch had surprisingly managed to mingle with these Muggles, unlike them, who, being too normal, felt out of place and had to feign politeness while wearing masks of suffering.
Returning to the camp, some Muggles, awakened by their internal desires early in the morning like the fat man, were rushing around the camp as if mad after indulging.
Tonks was among them.
Remus was startled and quickly pulled Tonks, who was running frantically between tents, asking with concern, “You—you—you… you used those drugs too?”
Tonks, her face flushed and looking abnormal, glared at him fiercely.
She then pulled the two into an empty tent. As soon as the flap was lowered, the flush and haze on her face miraculously disappeared.
She cast a spell to block the sound inside the tent from escaping, then kicked Remus hard: “Need to be louder? Why don’t you just shout directly into those Muggles’ ears: ‘Hey, hello, we’re not with you people’?”
“Uh…”
Seeing Tonks’s sudden change in demeanor, Remus remembered that this young lady was a rare Metamorphmagus, and pretending to be high was no difficult task for her.
“I’m sorry, I just thought you…”
“Thought I was on drugs? Mr. Remus Lupin, do I seem that stupid in your eyes?”
“Uh, no, no… I… I…”
Remus was at a loss.
Kingsley couldn’t stand it anymore and squeezed between them: “Alright, Tonks, Remus was just worried about you. Let’s get down to business. Remus and I just saved a fat white guy…”
He recounted the fat man’s recent invitation and then asked, “What kind of meeting is that? Is it related to what we’re investigating?”
Tonks was still angry. She didn’t know why she particularly couldn’t stand Remus looking down on her, but even when angry, she wouldn’t let it delay important matters.
Hearing Kingsley’s question, Tonks shook her head: “I don’t know either. I’ve been trying to connect with the management of this Muggle group. The fat white guy you saw, that should be Ryder, one of the management team…”
“Why didn’t you tell us?” Remus couldn’t help but interject.
Tonks rolled her eyes: “How could I tell you? What did I tell you before? Stick to your personas. Which one of you did? Those Muggles aren’t stupid; they see your abnormalities. They don’t trust you, understand?”
Abnormalities…
Remus and Kingsley exchanged a look. Their own perceived normal values and behavior were considered abnormal by these Muggles.
Remus wanted to say more, but Kingsley quickly stopped him:
“That’s enough, we’ll talk later… Tonks, please continue.”
“There’s nothing more to continue with.” Tonks took a piece of chewing gum and put it in her mouth, snorting, “Thanks to my Metamorphmagus abilities, I managed to portray myself as a staunch Donkey Party member, barely gaining their trust.”
“They already agreed last night to let me attend the important meeting this afternoon. As for whether it’s related to what we’re investigating—who knows? I can’t exactly ask them directly: ‘Hey, are you going to see a Purifier?'”
“…”
The two middle-aged wizards were speechless and a little ashamed.
Speechless, of course, because of Tonks’s sharp tongue; ashamed because… they were all out investigating together, yet they had made no progress and had to rely on a young girl. Even the invitation from the fat man was likely because Tonks had already established a relationship, which is why they were accepted.
Glancing at their awkward expressions, Tonks softened her tone: “Forget it. You saved Ryder, perhaps out of gratitude, or perhaps because of me. He seems to have accepted you. Regardless, it’s a good outcome.”
“Today, you’ll come with me. With Ryder’s invitation, no one should be paying attention to your abnormalities anymore…”
Hearing this, before Tonks could finish, Kingsley joyfully said, “We don’t have to pretend to be depressed or gay anymore?”
Remus also smiled with relief.
Then they were severely reprimanded by Tonks: “Don’t even think about it! These identities are the most important labels for you to be among these Muggles. Without my permission, you’ll keep pretending, even if you’re crying!”
“…”
“That’s it, I have things to do. Come find me later!”
Tonks left in a hurry. Stepping out of the tent, her enviable Metamorphmagus ability immediately took effect. She transformed back into the frantic, ecstatic appearance she had earlier and rushed around the camp with the other Muggles.
Watching all this from hiding in the tent, Kingsley sighed: “Her growth speed is truly beyond my expectations. I originally worried that her personality might not be suitable for an Auror. Now it seems I just didn’t discover her true strengths.”
“Yeah…”
“If it weren’t for the mission arranged by Mr. Weasley, I might never have seen her like this. Sigh, Remus, do you think I’m a pretty failed elder?”
“Yeah…”
“?”
Kingsley was completely bewildered.
He had just said it casually; why did this guy actually agree?
Turning his head and seeing Remus, Kingsley, whose face was already dark, grew even more grim.
Remus was staring intently at Tonks’s retreating figure, her infatuated, absent-minded expression.
It was almost like a—
“Pervert!”
“Yeah…”
…
Honestly, the longer they stayed with this so-called Third Salem group, the more desperate Remus and Kingsley felt about the possibility of investigating the Purifiers.
If all of Third Salem were like these people who talked about freedom, did drugs, and lived in drunken stupors.
Then, the so-called Purifiers would likely be finished on their own without them even needing to investigate!
However, this was a mission assigned by Vaughn. Even if the hope seemed slim, they were not going to give up.
At noon, as Tonks instructed, they found her and the fat man named Ryder. After abstaining from the drugs, Ryder still remembered them and happily introduced them to the management of the group.
Tonks also put in a good word for them, stating that they had long suffered unfair treatment and discrimination, thus lacking the courage to express their orientations and mental issues, which is why they appeared abnormal.
The group actually believed this full of loopholes nonsense, and they happily welcomed Remus and Kingsley.
They even shared lunch together happily.
Faced with the two’s bewilderment, Tonks took a moment to quietly explain to them what “position determines perspective” meant: “They don’t care if you’re truly a sexual minority or an ethnic minority. If they acknowledge you as one, you are one. The truth doesn’t matter; taking sides does!”
Kingsley never thought he would hear such philosophical words from Tonks!
This world was truly bizarre.
Of course, reality that requires no logic could be even more bizarre.
In the afternoon, the two followed the management to a Great Hall in a University in Boston to attend the so-called “important meeting.”
The solemn Great Hall was decorated, and many people, like the management of “Third Salem,” who seemed to have teams under them, appeared together in the hall.
There were hundreds of people, divided into over ten teams.
If each team, like “Third Salem,” had over a hundred members, that would represent thousands of people!
However, this was not the main point.
The main point was—
On the banner of the Great Hall, why was it written 【Anti-Abortion Rally】?
Kingsley and Remus were bewildered. What made them even more bewildered was a middle-aged Muggle in a suit, exuding an air of elite, standing on the podium and shouting at them:
“Brothers and sisters, please remember me, William Clinton. Please cast your vote for me in the upcoming election. If you don’t vote for me, and let those rednecks elect another Elephant Party President, they will pass laws banning abortion, laws allowing rampant gun ownership, laws discriminating against ethnic minorities and sexual minorities, and even—”
“They might even release the damned Purifiers, those damned wizards, and hijack all the freedom and democracy-loving Federation citizens onto the chariot of populism, fear, and neo-Nazism, turning a free America into a democratic nightmare filled with far-right ideology!”
The surrounding people roared.
They shouted the Muggle politician’s name, shouting for freedom, for democracy!
Among the crowd, only Kingsley and Remus looked at each other in stunned silence:
“What did he just say? Release the Purifiers? Wizards?”
“…It seems so…”
“So, the so-called Third Salem genuinely opposes wizards, but in their eyes, Purifiers and wizards are the same concept?”
“Uh… it seems so from what I heard.”
“And the so-called Purifiers are controlled by the Elephant Party he mentioned?”
Remus didn’t answer. There was too much information; he felt his brain was not enough…
The Muggle on stage was speaking passionately.
Every word he spoke was simple and clear, drawing cheers from everyone.
But to Kingsley and Remus’s regret, the speaker did not mention the topic of Purifiers and wizards again during his speech.
At some point, the speech concluded. William and his retinue on stage went to rest. The Muggles around them were also excitedly discussing and dispersing in small groups.
Kingsley and Remus walked to a corner. They were silent for a moment, then sighed:
“We seem to have found the wrong people… What about the Elephant Party, the Donkey Party, why are these Muggles so strange?”
“We didn’t find the wrong people. If we hadn’t interacted with these Donkey Party members, how would we have known that the Purifiers are in the hands of the Elephant Party?”
“The information isn’t confirmed yet; he didn’t talk about wizards again later,” Kingsley said.
Remus thought for a moment and agreed.
He looked at Kingsley and asked, “So, what do we do next? Go ask this Muggle face-to-face?”
For more experienced wizards like them, the main difficulty in investigating something was accurately pinpointing the target among a crowd.
As long as there was an accurate target, magical means could be used to extract information.
Kingsley thought for a moment and nodded in agreement with Remus’s idea, but he still cautioned, “Even if we use magic, we shouldn’t go too far. It’s best to avoid crude methods like memory reading if possible.”
“Sigh!”
Not being able to use magic made Remus a bit anxious. “Are you really sure Third Salem is a trap set for us?”
“What else could it be? Remember the Congress Aurors who registered our wands earlier?” Kingsley retorted. “Do you think those arrogant fellows would just leave after registering our wands? And Third Salem, Congress Aurors came the day before they appeared, was that a coincidence?”
Remus had nothing to say.
He looked around the Great Hall and the Muggles chatting excitedly in small groups, then lowered his voice: “Do you think there are any wizards among these people? Like that William; his speech was very inspiring.”
“Probably not. I paid special attention to the poster next to the stage just now. That William is indeed a candidate for Muggle President. A wizard running for President…”
Kingsley shook his head; he couldn’t accept such a fantastical scenario!
Remus thought about it and found it equally unacceptable.
“Speaking of which, how do you think the Magical Congress is monitoring us?”
Hearing this, Kingsley looked up at the ceiling of the Great Hall, or rather, the sky beyond the ceiling: “Besides Dreamcatchers, I can’t think of anything else!”
“Dreamcatchers? Can they really do that?”
The world is dynamic, and change generates information. If Dreamcatchers were used for surveillance, let alone 3 million square miles of America, just the amount of information generated by the city of Boston every second would be enough to overwhelm a wizard’s brain.
Remus couldn’t imagine how much human effort the Magical Congress would need to process so much information.
“It’s just a guess; I don’t know the specific operating mechanism of Dreamcatchers,” Kingsley shrugged. “In short, to avoid being branded as ‘using magic to harm Muggles’ by the Magical Congress, we should avoid using magical means if possible.”
Remus was a little unhappy about this but knew he had to endure it.
“I hope the next operation goes a bit smoother…”
Before Remus could finish, the crowd nearby parted, and Tonks squeezed through. The chewing-gum-chewing girl greeted them: “What are you guys talking about?”
“Uh, nothing,” Remus quickly changed the subject: “Kingsley and I were talking about the mission, discussing how to approach that Muggle named William. You heard him; he mentioned wizards during his speech—”
Before he could finish, Tonks interrupted him, blowing a bubble: “I’ve already spoken to him.”
“Ah?”
To the stunned expressions of the two middle-aged men, Tonks stood on her tiptoes and waved at William, who had grey hair, in the distance.
On the other side, William, who was talking to another middle-aged politician, also smiled and responded.
Looking at the Muggle’s smiling face, then at the youthful and lovely Tonks, Remus felt as if his heart had been squeezed by an invisible hand!
The Muggle man’s face suddenly became annoying.
Tonks, not noticing Remus’s peculiar expression, said happily, “That Muggle uncle is quite nice. I just went to ask him about wizards and Purifiers, and he immediately agreed to tell me.”
Kingsley quickly asked, “What did he say?”
“According to him, he saw the words ‘Purifiers’ and ‘Wizards’ on budget documents approved by Congress in America. Since there were many people there, he didn’t go into too much detail.”
Seeing Kingsley’s disappointment, Tonks quickly added, “But he gave me his business card and asked me to contact him later. He’ll find a way to let me see the relevant budget documents.”
“…”
Remus was a bit speechless and couldn’t help but say, “Silly girl, do you really believe him? That budget document should be considered confidential government information for Muggles. How could he possibly have access to it? And don’t forget, you just met!”
“But that’s what he said! He also said he has many classified documents stored at home; his garage is almost full. Not just about wizards and Purifiers, but other secrets too, including Area 51, aliens, and such…”
Looking at the excited young witch, Remus felt as if his heart was being roasted by fire.
“Naive silly girl… Kingsley, you…”
Remus was about to call Kingsley to lecture Tonks together, but when he turned around, he saw his colleague stroking his chin, looking thoughtfully at the Muggle named William in the distance.
Remus was a bit stunned: “You don’t actually believe him, do you?”
“Why not?” Kingsley said thoughtfully, “You should know that I worked in the Muggle Prime Minister’s office in England. Some politicians like to take unclassified secret documents home… This William is not only a presidential candidate but also the governor of Arkansas and a high-ranking member of the Donkey Party. Perhaps he can indeed access real secrets…”
Hearing Kingsley support her view, Tonks was very happy: “Yes, yes! Otherwise, how would he, a Muggle, know about Purifiers?”
Remus was speechless.
Not paying attention to his anomaly, Kingsley pondered for a moment and said to Tonks, “Regardless of its credibility, this is the closest intelligence we have on the Purifiers. Have you arranged a time to see the documents with him?”
“Tonight, after the rally ends, he’ll send someone to pick me up at his residence in Boston!” Tonks replied cheerfully.
Kingsley finally realized something was wrong: “Tonight? Alone? To his house?”
“Yes!”
Kingsley couldn’t help but take a step back, looking at Tonks, then at Remus, and then at the Muggle named William in the distance.
“You can’t go alone,” Kingsley said, his dark face gradually becoming serious.
Remus nodded repeatedly: “Yes, it’s not safe. How about I accompany Tonks?”
“No!”
Kingsley’s expression grew more grim: “That would put her in more danger. We’ll go together!”
Remus: “?”
For some reason, he felt Kingsley might have had some offensive thoughts towards him…
…
Nymphadora Tonks was not happy.
She felt Kingsley underestimated her.
She was the one who contributed the most to the entire undercover mission. When Kingsley and Remus were still at a loss, she had successfully infiltrated the management of Third Salem.
It was also she who personally extracted intelligence from the Muggle named William.
Why wouldn’t Kingsley allow her to complete the mission independently?
It seemed that in his eyes, she was forever a child who needed protection!
Tonks disliked this feeling but could do nothing about it. Not only could she not defeat Kingsley, but he was also her elder and a good friend of her mother.
However, Tonks did not yield. After she presented facts and reason, arguing logically, by evening, Kingsley finally agreed to let her go to William’s alone, while he and Remus would follow invisibly—
Tonks’s reason for convincing him was that if the two of them went together, the other party might not bring them back to his home.
“Do you think I don’t know what he’s up to? Hmph, I can see through this kind of greasy middle-aged man at a glance!”
Facing Kingsley’s incessant warnings about safety, Tonks said disdainfully.
Kingsley said nothing more, just glanced at Remus a few times.
Remus was full of questions.
In fact, he was the most opposed to Tonks “taking risks.” He seemed to have completely forgotten that although Tonks looked petite, she was the more powerful one when facing Muggles!
…
“Huh? There’s progress in the investigation?”
In his Suitcase Space, Vaughn, who was conducting an experiment, suddenly received information from a Patronus.
He paused the ritual magic he was performing and slightly raised his head. A wisp of silver-white light flashed across his pupils.
“William…”
Looking at the image transmitted by the Patronus, a middle-aged politician surrounded by many Muggles, giving a passionate speech, Vaughn paused for a moment.
“Long time no see, so it’s you, Meilain Zong!”
Making a casual jest, Vaughn continued to review the images in his mind. When he heard the words “Purifiers” and “Wizards” come out of Meilain Zong’s mouth, Vaughn frowned slightly.
After the images finished “playing,” Vaughn pondered for a moment, drew his wand, casually turned a blade of grass into a butterfly, and released it outside the space.
Soon, Matthew, who was guarding outside, entered:
“Mr. Weasley?”
“Go call Mr. Ajinbad. I have something to discuss with him.”
“Yes!”
Matthew quickly left, and Vaughn didn’t have to wait long. The entrance to the space opened again, and Ajinbad walked in. The old wizard seemed to be preparing to rest, wearing a loose African tribal robe, a nightcap, and reading glasses.
As soon as he entered, he exclaimed, “Hateful, cunning fellow! Hiding in the Suitcase Space and dumping a bunch of messes on that ignorant wolf cub outside, and then because he couldn’t handle it, I, an old man, have to help. For Merlin’s sake, you better have something important, or else I—”
Vaughn threw a wisp of memory at him, and the old wizard’s incessant scolding came to an abrupt halt.
Taking out a bottle from his satchel, Ajinbad placed the wisp of memory into it. It appeared to be an alchemical item similar to a Pensieve, capable of restoring memories.
Ajinbad, an old fox, didn’t dare to casually put memories from a master of Memory Magic into his own mind.
Who knew if there were any traps inside.
The bottle containing the memory swirled with mist. Ajinbad leaned his eyes close to the bottle opening and watched for a moment before looking up: “What do you think, how credible is what that Muggle politician said?”
Vaughn shared the same view as Tonks: “Regardless of the credibility, the fact that he mentioned the word ‘Purifier’ suggests he really knows something about the inside story.”
Ajinbad pondered.
He recalled Vaughn telling him before that the real Purifiers might no longer exist, and those suspiciously behaving so-called “Purifiers” from Oliver’s memories might just be using a name.
In essence, they were a group of “artificial wizards”!
As for who the “artificial wizards” belonged to, the two had their own views in previous analyses. Ajinbad leaned towards the Magical Congress, while Vaughn disagreed, believing artificial life was more likely to originate from Muggle technology, thus the Muggles were behind the “artificial wizards.”
Recalling the argument from a few days ago and looking at the memory in the bottle, even though Ajinbad was still reluctant to admit it, he had to say that based on the Muggle politician’s performance, perhaps Vaughn was right, and the Muggle possibility was higher.
Thinking of this, he exhaled with a heavy heart: “You called me here, not just to use this memory to verify your idea, right? What are you planning to do?”
“Honestly, I didn’t expect them to actually investigate anything,” Vaughn chuckled. “Originally, I thought Third Salem was just bait they openly laid out, creating a situation where I would cooperate with a performance, keeping the conflict within a certain range, and each of us gaining time…”
