Chapter 191: No Need to Overthink
Li Xiaonan looked at Fourth Mistress Wei, who met Li Xiaonan’s gaze and said awkwardly, “I didn’t…”
Before she could finish her sentence, Fourth Mistress Wei swallowed her words.
She knew clearly and unequivocally how sharp and clever Eldest Madam Shi was. If she didn’t want Eldest Madam to know, she should have been cautious and explained it by saying she hadn’t told Eldest Madam, rather than being too perfunctory and evasive.
“Eldest Madam doesn’t know about your blind date? Are you afraid she’ll be reminded of something and get upset? Or is there another reason?” Li Xiaonan asked with a smile.
“It’s not me, it’s you. Cousin instructed that if Eldest Madam wanted to see you, she had to ask if you were willing first, and besides, your first meeting with Eldest Madam wasn’t very good,” Fourth Mistress Wei quickly explained.
She had always tried to prevent Eldest Madam and Miss Li from meeting, not entirely because of Cousin’s instructions, but because her intuition told her these two shouldn’t meet.
“You’re afraid your cousin thinks Eldest Madam would look down on me, aren’t you? Eldest Madam doesn’t look down on me, I think Eldest Madam is quite nice,” Li Xiaonan said with a smile.
The first meeting with Eldest Madam wasn’t good because Wan Jing was afraid of having her monthly allowance deducted.
Li Xiaonan looked at Eldest Madam Shi, who was already not far from the warm pavilion. She stood up with Fourth Mistress Wei and asked again, “Does Eldest Madam know about your blind date?”
“She sort of knows, but we haven’t spoken of it in front of her,” Fourth Mistress Wei explained vaguely.
Li Xiaonan gave a soft “oh,” meaning Eldest Madam Shi knew about Fourth Mistress Wei’s engagement to Fifth Master Yang, but no one mentioned it in front of her. That made sense, as discussing such matters in front of her would indeed be quite hurtful.
Seeing Fourth Mistress Wei and Li Xiaonan coming to meet her, Eldest Madam Shi paused, looking somewhat surprised. She smiled and explained, “I came to find some books.”
“Miss Li is also here to look for books,” Fourth Mistress Wei quickly replied with a smile.
Eldest Madam Shi gave a soft “oh” and pointed to the library, “I’ll go find my books, you two can talk.”
“We’ve agreed, Miss Li and I haven’t said much, we just ran into each other,” Fourth Mistress Wei said somewhat flustered.
“I’m looking for books, and she’s looking for books too, so it’s convenient to go together,” Li Xiaonan stepped forward and said to Fourth Mistress Wei with a smile.
Fourth Mistress Wei was stunned for a moment.
“Does Fourth Mistress want to find some books to read?” Li Xiaonan pointed to the library and said to Fourth Mistress Wei with a smile.
“Oh, no need… then I’ll be going back. Miss Li, if you need anything, or if there’s nothing else, let’s have tea another day.” Fourth Mistress Wei was a bit flustered.
Eldest Madam Shi stood by, watching the two of them silently.
“Okay!” Li Xiaonan replied with a smile, waved goodbye to Fourth Mistress Wei, turned around, and said to Eldest Madam Shi with a smile, “What books are you looking for, Eldest Madam?”
“Some books about the Jiangnan Weaving Workshop,” Eldest Madam Shi replied casually.
Li Xiaonan gave a soft “oh.”
“What books have you been reading lately, Miss Li?” Eldest Madam Shi looked at the library not far away.
“Also books about the Jiangnan Weaving Workshop. I’m in the fine cloth business, so I can’t not know about these things,” Li Xiaonan said with a smile.
Eldest Madam Shi’s steps faltered slightly. She looked at Li Xiaonan, who met her gaze and quickly smiled, “I don’t run a weaving workshop. I collect fine cloth woven at home from various families and sell it. It’s a small business.”
“Have you heard about yesterday’s imperial banquet, Miss Li?” Eldest Madam Shi asked suddenly after walking a few steps.
“You mean the matter where many people were arrested?”
“Yes.”
“I heard they arrested people from the Linhai Town Silk Guild and the Maritime Tax Bureau. At least for now, it seems unrelated to my business,” Li Xiaonan said with a smile.
Eldest Madam Shi fell silent, and Li Xiaonan didn’t speak either. They walked side-by-side for about ten steps. Eldest Madam Shi looked back, and Li Xiaonan, following her gaze, subconsciously turned her head and saw Fourth Mistress Wei still standing at the entrance of the warm pavilion.
“After Second Aunt finishes helping Mrs. Fu with things for a while, we’ll be heading back to the Capital City,” Eldest Madam Shi suddenly said.
Li Xiaonan subconsciously gave a soft “oh.” It was a difficult statement to respond to.
“I should have given up long ago. Thank you,” Eldest Madam Shi sighed softly.
“Thank me for what?” Li Xiaonan didn’t understand for a moment.
“Do not do to others what you do not want done to yourself,” Eldest Madam Shi answered cryptically.
Li Xiaonan gave a soft “oh.” This was also difficult to respond to.
After they crossed the bridge, Li Xiaonan hesitated for a moment before asking, “Are you… are you still able to pick a good match now?”
“Since the engagement was broken off, the family has been looking. Princess Consort Wei, who is choosing a consort for the Young Lord, is also keeping an eye out for suitable matches for me. They’ve been looking for a long time,” Eldest Madam Shi said, her eyes downcast.
“There haven’t been any suitable ones?”
“No.”
Li Xiaonan was stunned for a moment, then sighed. This was the trouble with aiming too high.
“I’ve thought about your words again and again,” Eldest Madam Shi said, her eyes lowered. “What is a virtuous wife, what is a good mother, and even, whether I am a good sister.”
“Don’t overthink it. Many principles are right when stated one way, and also right when stated another way,” Li Xiaonan said, looking at the gloomy Eldest Madam Shi.
“After the Young Lord broke off the engagement, Father told me to think carefully, saying the Young Lord wouldn’t have broken it off for no reason. Mother also said my temper was too strong, and Second Aunt also told me to think carefully and not be stubborn.
“At that time, I was very angry. It was clearly for no reason, so why were they all blaming me? I did nothing wrong, I had nothing to think about.”
Eldest Madam Shi lowered her eyelids, was silent for a moment, then looked at Li Xiaonan and said with a bitter smile, “It was Miss Li who enlightened me. The Young Lord breaking off the engagement was indeed not without reason, but it wasn’t my fault. It was something that existed long before the engagement was broken off. But before the engagement was broken off, everyone, including Father and Mother, praised me. No one ever pointed out anything wrong with me. Why didn’t they advise me earlier?”
“Many things are judged by their outcome,” Li Xiaonan chose her words carefully. “For example, my brother. When he was studying at the Gao Family School, he buried his head in his books every day, ignoring everything else. At that time, Mr. Gao often told my brother: ‘Focus on your studies, but don’t just study blindly. Worldly affairs and human relationships are also knowledge.’
“Later, when my brother passed the Xiucai exam, Mr. Gao said that the reason my brother passed was because he was focused and unwavering.
“But what if my brother hadn’t passed the exam year after year? I think Mr. Gao would have said: ‘Blind studying isn’t enough. You can’t neglect worldly affairs and human relationships, otherwise, how can you write a good policy essay?’”
Eldest Madam Shi frowned slightly.
“You are certainly reflecting now, but if the Young Lord hadn’t broken off the engagement, and you were the Young Lord’s consort, would you have reflected? Probably not, right? You would have thought you were completely right.
“You couldn’t have changed before the engagement was broken off. If the Young Lord hadn’t broken it off, you would have thought you were good and right. If the Young Lord broke it off, you started thinking that your past self was wrong and bad.
“The only difference in between is whether the Young Lord broke off the engagement or married you.
“I think you don’t need to reflect on yourself like this over and over. The one who broke off the engagement was the Young Lord. It was he who broke his promise and his engagement, acting unethically. If anyone should reflect, it should be him. It’s just that he holds a high position and has a great temper, so no one dares to say anything to him.”
“I did have my faults,” Eldest Madam Shi said softly after a moment of silence.
“No one is perfect.”
“Thank you. I’m going upstairs to find my books,” Eldest Madam Shi said, her head bowed, as she went up the stairs.
Li Xiaonan watched her go upstairs, then sat back down in the chair by the window and picked up the book she had been half-reading.
Not long after, Eldest Madam Shi came down from upstairs. She took a couple of steps towards the door, paused, and looked at Li Xiaonan, saying, “If there are no suitable matches, I won’t settle. I don’t plan to compromise.”
Without waiting for Li Xiaonan to reply, Eldest Madam Shi turned around and walked away quickly.
Many things cannot be avoided. She had spent two days sorting them out.
