Supernatural Revival? It Doesn’t Matter, I’ll Just Talk My Way out of It! – Chapter 1

Retaliation Unique To Defenses

Chapter 1: Retaliation Unique To Defenses

In midsummer, the heat and humidity did not recede even at night.

The noisy cicadas in the trees were even more irritating.

Yet, a park surrounded by this forest was incredibly quiet and cool—

Luocheng Public Cemetery.

And at this moment, in an inconspicuous corner, a young man was stealthily observing the epitaphs on the tombstones one by one.

Finally, he stopped, slowly squatted down, picked up an apple from in front of a tombstone, took a bite, pulled out his mobile phone, turned around, and took a photo of himself taking a bite of the apple along with the tombstone.

Then, he contentedly sent the photo to someone in his contact list, along with an emotional voice message:

“Stupid idiot! You framed me for stealing, right? Fine, I’ll satisfy you. Damn it, I’m directly stealing and eating your damn offerings at your damn grave!”

After doing all this, he didn’t rush to leave; instead, he simply sat on the grave and watched videos, waiting for a reply.

As expected, within two minutes, a voice message lasting over a minute was sent.

Because the other party spoke too quickly and was too emotional, it sounded like rap for the entire duration, and he didn’t clearly hear what the other party said, only understanding the last sentence—”Jiang Ce, you truly deserve to die!”

Even though he was scolded, Jiang Ce’s face was about to crack from smiling.

He just loved seeing this kind of clown jumping around in a panic.

If it weren’t for consulting a lawyer that digging up graves is illegal, he had originally planned to take a photo with the urn.

As an infant, Jiang Ce was abandoned outside a small temple and adopted by the old abbot. Because the young Jiang Ce was adorable and very kind-hearted, the old abbot gave him the dharma name “Ce,” hoping he would always maintain a heart of compassion and sympathy in all matters.

But reality proved that even the most innocent child can go astray.

It wasn’t until last year, when the old abbot heard Jiang Ce shouting at a visitor, “This monk is Yuan Ce, and this monk is fated to ‘ce’ your mother,” that he finally could not stand it anymore, unleashed the Vajra’s Wrath he had accumulated for ten years, drove him down the mountain, told him his surname, and returned the token bearing the character “Jiang” to him.

After descending the mountain, lacking education and work experience, Jiang Ce had no choice but to run to a funeral home on impulse and become a temporary worker, his job being to assist the funeral director, helping to arrange corpses, apply makeup, and stitch wounds.

Although the salary was not high, it was more than enough for his needs of living alone and not having to support anyone.

It wasn’t until a few days ago, after a normal farewell ceremony, that a family member of a deceased person he had handled approached him, accusing him of stealing a ring worth tens of thousands of yuan from the deceased.

No matter how much Jiang Ce explained, it was useless. Showing surveillance footage and searching him didn’t help; the other party always had new excuses, leading to the point where not only the family member believed it but even the funeral home’s leader became suspicious, telling him to take a few days off at home temporarily.

Although Jiang Ce hadn’t attended school, he had seen all sorts of people when he was a greeter monk at the temple, so he was quite astute and knew what this situation implied. He was just a temporary worker, and regardless of right or wrong, the impact of this incident on the funeral home was enough for him to pack his bags and leave.

It took him a lot of effort to get this job in the first place. To prove he was bold and meticulous, he classified all the corpses according to their degree of damage and submitted a construction design plan, which earned him this valuable opportunity to earn a living. Now, losing his job because of something like this was absolutely unacceptable to him.

Lying in bed late at night, growing more and more angry, Jiang Ce then took a taxi to the grave of the deceased who had already been buried to steal and eat offerings.

With his objective achieved, the pent-up frustration of several days vanished, and Jiang Ce felt much more comfortable. He placed the half-eaten apple back in front of the tombstone.

“Auntie, this isn’t personal, okay? Today is the fourteenth, and I’m giving you an Apple Fourteen. If you don’t know how to use it, ask your son when you get home tonight.”

Having said that, he stood up, patted his pants, and prepared to go home to sleep.

But at this very moment, an eerie wind suddenly blew through the previously peaceful cemetery.

It was clearly June, but the bone-chilling cold brought by this wind gave Jiang Ce the illusion of being naked on a mountain on a winter night.

He couldn’t help but shiver and frown, because behind the tombstone, a woman had appeared at some point, head bowed and sobbing.

She was wearing a bright red wedding dress, kneeling on the ground, her head bowed, her face hidden.

Jiang Ce was a little confused. He remembered there was no one here when he arrived. Could it have been an angle issue, blocked by the tombstone, which is why he hadn’t seen her?

Although he had been kicked out of the temple, after more than ten years, it was impossible to say he hadn’t picked up any Buddhist nature. When encountering such a situation, he would instinctively want to see if there was anything he could do to help.

Therefore, Jiang Ce confidently walked forward and softly consoled her, “Crying so sadly, did someone in your family pass away?”

Hearing this, the woman mechanically and slowly raised her head.

Instantly, Jiang Ce frowned. He saw that the woman’s eyes were incredibly hollow, literally two dark, deep black holes!

Two streams of bloody tears flowed incessantly from the corners of her eyes, dripping onto the ground, and in an instant, they turned into a pool of black water.

Jiang Ce awkwardly touched his head, feeling a slight twinge of guilt for his rashness, “Ah, I see, so you’re blind. No wonder you were crying behind the tombstone. Tell me who died in your family, and I’ll take you to the grave. Don’t cry over someone else’s, you know, keep the good fortune within the family.”

As Jiang Ce spoke, the woman was staring blankly.

She had been residing in this public cemetery for a hundred years, feeding on the lingering malice and resentment of newly buried individuals. She was not weak, but the stronger a being was, the more it could sense subtle things.

The man in front of her clearly exuded a strange aura, with inauspiciousness and malice swirling around him. Just a mere glimpse of it had completely pinned her down, making her unable to move.

Merely a glance caused the woman’s eye sockets to sting as if pricked by needles, and bloody tears flowed.

What the hell is this millennium-old fierce fiend who transformed and is now making a low-key inspection?!

Looking at the stunned woman, Jiang Ce, who had been waiting for a response for a long time, also grew impatient. He shrugged, “Forget it, whatever you want. But before I leave, I still have to remind you that your behavior of crying for someone else in front of your own deceased is also a form of NTR. While it’s not illegal, it’s immoral.”

The woman terrifyingly realized, whether it was an illusion or not, that after Jiang Ce said this, the faint but dangerous aura around him had intensified.

And the usual wicked thoughts, which she had been secretly feeding on all these years and which were typically arrogant and evil, were now cowering within her, not daring to move, as if they were securely locked away. This meant that she was now even worse off than an ordinary person.

Dong, dong, dong.

Just as Jiang Ce had moved a considerable distance away and the woman was about to breathe a sigh of relief, a crisp knocking sound came from not far away.

Jiang Ce was somewhat dazed and subconsciously turned his head.

Unknowingly, it had been over a year since he had heard this familiar sound.

Following the sound, he saw a middle-aged monk, dressed in a monk robe that was washed pale but still clean, knocking on a wooden fish.

His steps were slow, but his speed was not at all diminished. In the blink of an eye, the monk had crossed dozens of meters.

He looked at the woman who was clearly in great distress and smiled, holding a flower:

“Let this monk deliver you.”

Before the woman could react, he urgently knocked the wooden fish and casually tossed out a Vajra Bowl, covering her in a flash of lightning. It was unclear whether the Vajra Bowl had enlarged or the woman had shrunk, but as the dust settled, the Vajra Bowl had returned to the monk’s hand.

The entire process was fluid and smooth, with a compassionate smile always on the monk’s lips. Everything seemed so effortless for him, as if he were merely strolling.

This made Jiang Ce, who was watching from the side, exclaim in wonder and he couldn’t help but ask,

“Who are you trying to impress with such a cool move? Which mountain do you hail from?”

The monk, who had clearly not noticed someone else nearby, was startled, almost dropping the wooden fish.

But he quickly composed himself and looked at Jiang Ce kindly, “Benefactor, I…”

Before he could finish speaking, with just one glance, his eyes widened, almost bulging out of their sockets.

The monk looked as if he had seen something unimaginably terrifying. He stumbled back a few steps, leaning against a tombstone behind him, and pointed at Jiang Ce, shouting in a hoarse voice, trying to sound fierce but failing:

“What, what… what kind of monster are you?!”

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Supernatural Revival? It Doesn’t Matter, I’ll Just Talk My Way out of It!

Supernatural Revival? It Doesn’t Matter, I’ll Just Talk My Way out of It!

灵异复苏?无所谓我会出嘴!
Score 9
Status: Ongoing Author: Released: 2022 Native Language: Chinese
Every day, I read ten hell jokes, attack ten piles of excrement, then randomly select ten lucky passersby for passionate online arguments, and finally repent to the Buddha with no intention of remorse. Finally, all my Merit has been depleted, but I have also become invincible. I originally thought I was only invincible among humans, until the deceased buried during the day were dug out of their graves by me at night... Jianghu Magicians, Heaven-Reaching Dharma Masters, Half-Step Immortals, Free True Gods; Vengeful Spirits disturb the heart, Fierce Ghosts harm people, Fierce Fiends destroy virtue, Fiend Gods extinguish the Way. Supernatural Revival is imminent, a hundred ghosts walking at night may be today! However, there is a very important question now... Who can tell me why I cultivated Evil Arts using Buddhist Dharma?!

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