Chapter 116: Let’s Have Some Toilet Humor
Jiang Ce did not lead everyone through the Mountain Gate.
Because there were many Daoist Priests patrolling Lu Mountain these days, and they were very vigilant.
So the group chose to go from the cliff on the back side of the mountain.
Xuan Qing and Ku Zhen each pulled two people who couldn’t fly upwards, while Lu Yun, whose job as a Gatekeeper was to scout, had excellent footwork. Although he was Seventh Rank and couldn’t fly, he walked on the cliff as if on level ground and didn’t let the two carry him.
As for Jiang Ce, he also refused a ride.
He stood on a large box, using the Object Manipulation Technique, pulling the one behind him to pull the one behind that, ascending like an elevator.
Lou Leshan, whose collar was held by Xuan Qing, nodded approvingly: “Honestly, if it were a sword, it would be quite cool.”
Liang Zhi Che, whose collar was also being held and who was suspended in the air, shook his head and retorted: “That thing cuts your feet. Boxes are good. You can sit when you’re tired. It’s like Magneto.”
Jiang Ce thought of something and let out a chuckle:
“You guys, if I used Object Manipulation Technique to carry the excrement from a septic tank and smash people with it, would even a Heaven-Reaching Dharma Master be afraid of me?”
Lou Leshan put his hands on his hips, thought for a moment, and asked: “It’s like smashing someone with a mop dipped in poop, they are ‘poop-writing’ and ‘toilet Lu Bu’, what are you then?”
Liang Zhi Che gave a thumbs up and proudly said: “Then Big Brother is the ‘shit sea mad maggot’, the ‘toilet godfather’.”
“Ugh,” Ling Xun, who was not far away, couldn’t stand it anymore: “Amitabha, can we stop talking about this topic?”
Lou Leshan looked at Ling Xun and then spoke again: “Then should the toilet godfather’s boss chair be a toilet?”
Jiang Ce glared at the two of them: “Ling Xun already said to stop this topic.”
The two lowered their heads, then heard Jiang Ce grumble indignantly: “What shit sea mad maggot? With my looks, I should at least be a ‘little white dragon in shit’.”
Suddenly, a voice came: “How about ‘Shit Emperor Qi’?”
The three looked over, Qin Shen Bo’s smile disappeared, and his face twisted to the side: “I didn’t say anything.”
“Oh, quite childish, even Stitch is here,” Jiang Ce teased.
Ling Xun’s expression was extremely ferocious: “Qin Shen Bo, you too…”
At this moment, Xuan Qing and Ku Zhen, whom everyone couldn’t see, also had very complicated moods. They looked at each other and exchanged glances.
【I want to throw them down.】
【Amitabha, me too.】
【It’s a shame Jiang Ce is flying by himself.】
【No wonder he refused our help, it was an emergency escape.】
Soon, they were only one step away from the mountain top.
At this time, Jiang Ce suddenly said: “Take off your masks.”
Everyone was stunned and asked why.
Jiang Ce said casually: “Because when facing the Lu Shan Sect, we need to use the identity of Gatekeepers.”
Although confused, everyone tacitly did not ask for further explanation.
In the blink of an eye, the group landed smoothly in a secluded, uninhabited place within the Lu Shan Sect.
“What do we do next?” Liang Zhi Che asked curiously.
Jiang Ce kicked the box: “Find a place to hide this thing, or did I really bring it just for fun?”
Ku Zhen had already guessed Jiang Ce’s intentions before going up the mountain. When Jiang Ce told them to remove their masks just now, he was almost certain of his guess and immediately asked:
“You want to frame the Lu Shan Sect?”
“Frame? What framing? Master Ku Zhen, don’t talk nonsense. This is all evidence!”
Jiang Ce put his hands on his hips and said righteously: “They said they were robbed by a Gluttonous Ghost, but in reality, it’s the thief crying ‘stop thief’! It’s just to avoid giving gifts to the Celestial Master’s Mansion, that’s how it is!”
The others also reacted at this time, looking surprised. Xuan Qing quickly stopped Jiang Ce, who was about to move the items: “Isn’t this reckless? Do you think it’s that simple to prove it with just this thing?”
He shook his head in disappointment: “I thought it was Elder Wei’s arrangement. If I had known you acted on your own initiative, sigh.”
Jiang Ce rubbed his chin: “Not enough? Why don’t you open it and take a look?”
Ku Zhen put on a stern face, pried open the box a crack, then frowned: “This is.”
Xuan Qing also looked over and immediately sensed an extremely ferocious malice. He then suddenly looked up at Jiang Ce.
Jiang Ce didn’t even bother to explain, he directly puffed out his chest and said swiftly: “On purpose!”
At the same time, the main hall of the Lu Shan Sect was brightly lit. The Sect Leader Gao Song was comforting the emotions of seven or eight abbots from small Daoist temples.
One of the abbots said with a mournful face: “Sect Leader Gao, what do you call this? You immortals are fighting, and we small fish and shrimp are the ones suffering.”
This extremely unsophisticated remark, almost like a complaint, made Gao Song’s face sink. He thought to himself, what do you mean? Are you all innocent, and only my Lu Shan Sect deserves to be in trouble?
But he still patiently comforted them, saying: “It’s okay, no one was hurt, and nothing was lost. This is a good thing.”
Another abbot spoke much more pleasantly: “Sect Leader Gao, old Wang is just blunt and a bit angry that those Gluttonous Ghosts and Evil Cultivators have gone too far. He didn’t mean anything else, so please don’t take it to heart.
Speaking of which, this matter is actually very strange. These Gluttonous Ghosts weren’t here to kill people or steal property. They just kept us locked up for a night. If it had ended there, it would have been fine, but then a few days ago, Daoist Priest Wu sent word saying he wanted to cause trouble for the Lu Shan Sect. This indicates that the Gluttonous Ghosts are threatening you.
We came here together to discuss how to respond, and also because there’s strength in numbers. We’ve received a lot of help from you over the years, so we had to find an opportunity to repay you!”
Although their words still hinted at wanting an explanation from Gao Song, Gao Song felt comforted and went along with it:
“Actually, I don’t mind telling you, I’m also completely clueless. We haven’t offended the Gluttonous Ghosts over the years, and we’ve always minded our own business. Why have they inexplicably targeted us now?
But rest assured, since this is related to us, I will definitely give everyone an explanation. We’ve been united for so many years, and you all know what kind of person I am best. Rest assured!”
Even though Gao Song was still speaking platitudes, it did give everyone a shot of confidence.
But just then, a laugh came from outside the door: “That’s hilarious, what kind of person are you? A villain who forces out veteran meritorious officials and then tries to hunt them down to the last?”
“Who?!” Gao Song started, then roared angrily.
The door was pushed open, and Gao Song’s pupils widened as he discovered that all the Lu Shan Sect Daoists outside the main hall had been knocked down.
A Seventh Rank young man stood between two Daoist priests and a Monk whose backgrounds were unclear, with five Jianghu Magicians of Sixth or Seventh Rank surrounding him.
“Are you with the Gluttonous Ghosts?” Gao Song glared at Jiang Ce.
“Go to hell, Gluttonous Ghosts. I’m a genuine Gatekeeper.”
Jiang Ce stepped forward, looked around at everyone, and said arrogantly:
“Have you heard of the Martial Sage, Jiang Ziya?”
Everyone looked at each other, and someone bravely asked: “Are you a descendant of the Martial Sage?”
“No, I have absolutely nothing to do with the Martial Sage.”
“Then why mention the Martial Sage?”
“Because my surname is also Jiang, the Jiang from Jiang Ziya!”
Jiang Ce glared: “I just like to mention it, so what if I do?”
Thanks to Boss for the 20,000 coin tip. May the Boss be healthy and all wishes come true, may their career be smooth and family harmonious, may their wife be beautiful and their children intelligent. Currently, I owe three more chapters… or maybe four…
