Chapter 161: Thanos’ Expedition! System Anomaly!
Many people might not be familiar with the name Thanos.
But as soon as you mention Purple Potato or Thanos, most people who have some knowledge of American Comics will know, and corresponding information immediately appeared in Ian’s mind.
Thanos.
The Cosmic Overlord born on Titan.
He was different from others since childhood—with purple skin and a physique unlike ordinary people, but he was also rejected by his own kind because his appearance and thoughts were both different from ordinary people. This character’s most famous action was using the Infinity Gauntlet to collect the six Infinity Gems, and with one snap, he eliminated half of the life in the Universe.
Many people say he is a simp obsessed with Death, but Ian thinks the term simp is too high a compliment for Thanos; he is the kind of zealot even more insane than a simp.
“I didn’t expect this place to actually be Titan. Are you going to participate in our electronic superdegree ceremony?” Ian acted opposite to Thor, who was already on high alert like facing a great enemy.
He enthusiastically invited Thanos to attend the memorial service. Thanos without the Infinity Gauntlet was just a quasi-Skyfather, while Ian now possessed the supreme skill of one-for-one among Skyfathers as the Alt Skyfather.
“The demise of electronic life is not worth mourning, but I agree to you burying it on our land.” Thanos looked at the funeral site that was being busily arranged as if it were real.
His voice was mild, without that feeling of cruelty and ruthlessness.
“Thank you.”
Ian politely showed Thanos a big smile.
“No need to thank me. After all, compared to most stubborn races, I quite like you Earthlings’ nature.” Thanos’s deep voice echoed through the woods.
He slowly raised his hand, making an inviting gesture, and even a hint of anticipation appeared on his face. “Would you like to visit our planet?”
Titan is very large.
And very beautiful.
It is a civilization established by descendants of the Eternals, where every individual is an extraordinarily powerful life form, just like the magical animals living here that resemble “monsters.”
Ian was interested in visiting and wanted to get some Titan potato chips to eat.
However.
“No, no! We have things to do, Your Majesty, thank you for your audience!” Thor’s face changed drastically, and he waved his hands in refusal before Ian could respond.
He seemed very afraid of Thanos, and his words revealed Thanos’s current identity and status.
“Hey! Do you even know how to do diplomacy! I’m your boss; I should be the one expressing all opinions!” Ian discontentedly poked Thor’s beer belly with his fist.
“…”
Thor opened his mouth, but with Thanos still there, he didn’t dare say anything.
“Who is this big guy?”
“He looks like even Thor is afraid of him?”
Gwen and Captain America exchanged a glance and whispered to each other. Thanos’s gaze swept over them, and the corners of his mouth slightly curved up as he introduced himself: “As Asgard’s Crown Prince said.”
“I am a king—Titan’s king.” His voice was steady and majestic, as if proclaiming some cosmic truth: “My forces span the entire Universe, benefiting countless civilizations in the vast starry sky, one of the most massive powers in the Universe. You should also address me as Your Majesty Thanos.”
This Cosmic Overlord seemed quite vain.
“Is that benefiting?”
Thor muttered softly, but didn’t dare let Thanos hear. Gwen and Captain America were shocked by this identity and didn’t dare act rashly for a moment. Only Ian blinked his eyes, still looking excited.
“If we visit Titan, will there be a welcome gift?” Ian knew this was the time to make an analogy, so he gave a perfect example.
“When I bought a car, the 4S store didn’t just give small gifts; they also gave me a guest meal.” Yes, the gluttonous Ian just wanted to taste Titan’s gourmet food.
Thanos was silent for a second.
“Titan’s hospitality has always been good.” He slowly nodded, his tone still mild, while pointing to the distant crashed spaceship wreckage: “I saw your spaceship has crashed. As a meeting gift, I will give you a new spaceship to help you return home.”
It had to be said.
Giving a car right upon meeting.
Ian was very familiar with this routine.
Overlord and domineering CEO indeed differ by just one character.
“Great, great! Giving us a spaceship, you must be a good person!” Captain America lit up at “new spaceship” and agreed before Ian.
“Damn it! Shut up!”
Thor panicked.
But his one vote against couldn’t beat the two votes in favor.
“I abstain.” Gwen rolled her eyes. Seeing Thanos already turning and leading Ian and Captain America toward the flying saucer, Thor could only grit his teeth and follow.
Gwen quietly leaned close and asked softly.
“That guy… is he scary?”
She clearly saw Thor’s heartfelt fear.
Thor’s face was grave as he lowered his voice too. “Believe me, he is an existence that countless civilizations fear at the mere mention, and the Titan legion is even more terrifying than you can imagine.”
Asgard’s Crown Prince was unprecedentedly serious.
Gwen wanted to ask more.
But Ian was already waving at the flying saucer hatch, urging them.
“Hurry up! The Titan luxury tour group is about to depart!” Only a fool would refuse a free trip; he felt he could definitely get along with this New World’s Thanos.
“Ian! You’ll regret it! You have no idea who you want to contact!” Helplessly, Thor could only grip his hammer tightly and board Thanos’s flying saucer with Gwen.
The flying saucer slowly lifted off.
Carrying the group through purple clouds into Titan’s main city area, a magnificent metal city. From the air, the city looked grand and solemn.
The architectural style was also ancient and mysterious.
Like a hybrid civilization fusing technology and magic. On the streets, Titan’s Eternal descendants walked in orderly fashion, their skin in varying shades.
Sturdy physiques.
Eyes filled with hope for life.
In the city center.
Unknown characters flickered on towering giant buildings, and the air was filled with the fresh scent of some herb. Thanos personally acted as tour guide, showing Ian and Ian’s followers Titan’s “cultural highlights.”
“This is our cultural center, where Titan’s people love art, philosophy, and cosmic truth.”
“That is our energy core, providing stable power for the entire planet.”
“Here is our education center, where all subjects can learn the Universe’s mysteries.” Thanos seemed to enjoy introducing his civilization to others.
“Is that a factory area?”
Ian pointed to a distant factory area spewing steam, his tone curious.
“No, that’s not a factory area. Titan develops life technology and has almost no production or manufacturing factories for steel weapons.” Thanos looked over as well.
He shook his head slightly, his tone solemn.
“That is the light of life.”
He was a bit overly literary.
Ian: “…?”
Captain America: “…?”
Gwen: “…?”
Even Ian couldn’t decipher the meaning, showing how artistic and vague it was. Only Thor’s expression upon hearing it looked like he had eaten spoiled canned herring.
Who knows what he had experienced.
“In fact, I also want to spread them to Earth.” Thanos seemed satisfied with their confusion. Finally, like revealing the dagger, he spoke seriously.
“Great, great~”
Ian wasn’t trying to be a tour guide; he just wanted to use Thanos to temper Earth’s superheroes— to treat superheroes, he naturally needed to create a sufficiently large crisis.
As for possible influences and losses, that wasn’t a big issue. Ian planned to bring Thanos to land in Tokyo, where Earth’s losses could be minimized.
Even if it spread occasionally.
The Marvel Universe always had its own Dragon Balls.
The original Infinity Gems had six, but adding the elusive Mind Gem made seven. Compared to Ian’s little scheme, Thor’s reaction was extremely intense.
“Absolutely not! Earth is under Asgard’s protection! You cannot set foot on Earth!” Thor instantly bristled, more fiercely than the three Earthlings.
Hearing this, Thanos calmly looked at him, his tone carrying some disdain: “Odin rejected me, but that doesn’t mean he can reject me on Earth’s behalf. Earthlings have their own free will and right to choose.”
Unexpectedly, Thanos understood freedom and democracy; he really was Titan’s beacon. Just as Thor’s face turned red, wanting to argue with Thanos.
Gwen was baffled and finally couldn’t help raising her hand: “Can someone explain to me what ‘spreading glory’ means? Is it invading Earth?”
This was Gwen’s most reasonable interpretation.
But.
Thanos shook his head.
“No, I want to bring you prosperity.”
The Titan giant’s voice was very sincere.
“What kind of prosperity?”
Ian curiously probed.
“The prosperity of life.”
The Titan giant was still being overly literary; this artistic vibe was just missing gold-rimmed glasses. Seeing this, Thor finally couldn’t tolerate it and gritted his teeth to expose Thanos’s true face.
“He’s a seller of aphrodisiacs! The Titan race is the Universe’s largest aphrodisiac manufacturing race! His legion is the sales dream team! Hawking their damn fertility potions across the Universe!”
Thor’s words were like a bomb exploding in everyone’s ears. Ian, Captain America, and Gwen all widened their eyes, their faces full of disbelief and incredulity.
“Not really? New Marvel pushing harder?”
Ian, who was pondering how to trick Thanos into sending minions to Earth first for the heroes to level up, then sending big minions, was instantly struck like lightning.
Thanos displeasedly furrowed his brows.
“Asgard’s Crown Prince, don’t use your narrow cognition to define the Titan race’s mission.” Thanos’s deeply lined face was full of seriousness and zeal.
“That’s not an aphrodisiac; that’s the gospel of life.”
He had clearly moved on; now he was a devout apostle of life.
The air was somewhat quiet.
Even Ian couldn’t find words to liven the atmosphere for a moment. The flying saucer slowly landed on the potion factory’s platform, and when the hatch opened, it sprayed out a mist with a strange sweet fragrance.
“Everyone can take a look and correct your mistaken cognition.” Thanos led the group down the ramp with steady steps, his battle boots clanging dully on the alloy ground.
“I’ve always felt I was born extraordinary, so I led the Titan race to shoulder the responsibility of spreading life—this is a problem I discovered traveling the Universe in my youth: the vast starry sky is so beautiful, yet life is so scarce that not even one civilization can emerge in a galaxy.”
“We have squandered the Creator’s gift, so I want the Universe’s life count to match this Universe’s scale.” Fanatic light gleamed in Thanos’s eyes.
His ideology was indeed somewhat reversed.
“Damn it! Thanos! Even so, that’s no reason for you to secretly drug our well water, causing a large batch of Asgard men to get collectively pregnant!”
Thor’s blond hair stood on end in anger, Mjolnir crackling in his hand.
“Why not?” Thanos countered coldly, his tone carrying near-religious zeal. “The Universe needs balance; this is the way of equilibrium.”
Some of Thanos’s ideologies still existed.
Just slightly deviated from normal tracks.
“You’re insane!”
Thor roared at Thanos. Gwen watched Ian nearby and saw him scribbling in a small notebook, brows furrowed as if doing some research.
“What are you doing?” Gwen couldn’t help asking.
“I’m taking notes.” Ian responded without looking up. “I’m not sure if Thanos qualifies as mental illness, so I need to discuss it with my psychiatrist when I get back.”
Gwen fell slightly silent upon hearing this.
She realized Ian hadn’t given up on his dream of being a psychiatrist. At that moment, Thanos led them through the production line, introducing his “masterpiece.”
“This is ‘Quick Pregnancy Spirit,’ which can shorten you Earthlings’ gestation period to three days.” He pointed to a row of bubbling pink potions, his tone full of pride.
“?????”
Gwen’s mouth formed an O shape.
“This is ‘Multi-Child Blessing Custom Potion.’ Want twins? Triplets? Even tenlings? Just adjust the dosage. Verified safe with no side effects across three thousand civilizations.”
“This is the matching potion. After taking it, the body naturally secretes a special pheromone that can spread in the vacuum of space, attracting the most genetically compatible partner.”
“Though it occasionally attracts cross-species suitors; users beware. And this, our latest product, symbiotic womb—a implantable external womb pouch that males can also wear. Just contribute one seed each from both parties, and the fetus can be nurtured externally without affecting daily life.”
“If one gets tired of nurturing or has things to do, they can swap the capsule to the other for nurturing. Fair, still fair, absolute fairness.”
“Of course, if that’s still too tiring, we have this gene modification potion. No need to envy oviparous animals; we can turn you into oviparous animals too.”
“Lay eggs at once, pair with our incubator—healthy child, easy for parents… Ideal for busy people. Maybe the child hatches and eats its eggshell, and you’ve grown up without realizing~ ” Thanos’s enthusiasm ignited here as he wildly promoted in his factory.
“What’s this?” Ian also picked up a potion to ask. The factory had a huge showroom displaying countless bottles and cans, each labeled with different functions.
“Oh, that’s our star product ‘Life Praise,’ extending the golden fertility period by 300% for females, and for males, increasing seeding duration by around 3000%.”
Thanos raised an eyebrow at Ian.
“You’re a pro! A pro among pros!”
Ian was convinced.
Gwen was dumbfounded, Thor gritted his teeth, and Captain America somewhat reservedly stepped forward—this was Captain America, always the first to stand up when something happened.
“Um, I have a friend, yes, a friend, Bucky Barnes. He might need this. Can I buy it?” Captain America’s ears reddened as he pulled out his empty wallet.
It had a dozen coins.
Only one ten dollar bill.
“Of course, no problem.” Thanos smiled slightly, looking at Captain America Steve as if seeing through Steve’s soul. “As long as you sign a contract promising to nurture at least ten lives in your lifetime, you can get this general potion for free. Promise a hundred, and I’ll give you the golden enhanced version.”
As expected of the Cosmic Overlord.
He saw the issue at a glance.
Captain America Steve nodded without hesitation.
“Where do I sign? I can do it, I can…” He eagerly wanted to claim the potion, too hasty and forgetting logical consistency for a moment.
He blurted it out and rushed forward, but upon seeing his companions’ strange stares, he immediately realized his gaffe, as if exposing some fact he shouldn’t.
“It’s, it’s all the super soldier serum’s fault.” Steve realized some conditions couldn’t be hidden, so he immediately shifted blame, his tone hesitant and lacking confidence.
“I get it, I get it. Like Nine Dragon Power, fitness steroids, technology damaging male charm—this is common knowledge.” Ian looked at Steve sympathetically.
“Yes, yes!”
Captain America was relieved.
“Ian, you’re truly knowledgeable.”
He gave Ian a thumbs up for bailing him out.
“This way.”
Thanos was always invincible, and so now, directly conquering the first Earthling. In a good mood, he led Captain America to a factory counter.
One Earthling had fallen.
Would the other Earthlings be far behind?
“Damn it!”
Watching Captain America follow Thanos to sign the contract, Thor stomped in anger.
“This is poisoning the Universe! Defying nature!” He turned to Gwen for support. “Right? Gwen, Steve is a traitor, a traitor to natural humans!”
Gwen didn’t give the reaction Thor wanted; she stared at the medicines thoughtfully: “Actually… if men could give birth too, it sounds pretty fair.”
The second human might also be conquered by the invincible Thanos legion.
“Did you inhale Titan smog and fry your brain?!” Thor incredulously widened his eyes, turning to Ian for reason, only to find the guy had slipped to the display case.
Lord Evil God was heatedly discussing with a Titan researcher in a white coat.
“Can this make humans with wings on their backs get pregnant? The kind with twenty-six at a time?” Ian stood at the end of the potion production line, holding a test tube gleaming with pearl luster, looking expectantly at the technician beside him.
A bold idea was already emerging in his mind.
The technician pushed up his goggles, clearly misunderstanding the race Ian meant, and answered without thinking: “Of course! The winged folk have used our products for decades, customizable from single birth to twelvelings…”
Before he finished, Ian’s eyes lit up like an explorer discovering new land, and he threw out a second question.
“What about guys with horns on their heads? Can they receive the gospel of life too?” Ian remembered old bro Thanos’s talk of fairness.
Seeing such technology, he no longer wanted to doubt if old bro Thanos had mental illness; he felt he’d found a kindred spirit.
“Ah? Races with horns on their heads?” The technician frowned, pondering which cosmic race fit the description.
The next moment.
Gwen suddenly gasped, her face instantly paling.
“Are you crazy?!”
She grabbed Ian’s collar, lowering her voice, but it still trembled with horror.
“You want to capture angels and demons for farming?! You want to open a god-demon farm?!” Gwen was indeed the one in the Marvel Universe who knew Ian best.
“No, why would you think that?” Ian blinked, his tone confused. His reaction finally let Gwen breathe a sigh of relief.
Just as Gwen thought it was her overthinking.
“I don’t need to capture them; angels and demons all love me, and they’ll come to me themselves.” Ian’s tone was immensely proud.
“????”
Gwen’s voice rose eight octaves. “Damn it! You’ve already captured them?! How many?! How could you even contact angels!”
She firmly believed Ian was an evil god; by TV and movie settings, shouldn’t that be a race angels hard-counter?
“Oh, maybe I forgot to tell you, I’m not just an evil god; I’m also King of Angels Ian, so be extra filial to me from now on, and I’ll send you to Heaven too.” Ian mimicked Doctor Strange, slowly raising an index finger.
Gwen didn’t care about Ian’s identity; she only cared if Ian had captured angels.
“O… one? Or a nest?” Gwen felt Ian’s finger wasn’t simple, but still clung to a sliver of hope.
Ian’s smile was very sunny.
“Wiped them all out! But don’t worry, it won’t affect you guys; I’m the high-tier Heaven’s King of Angels, different from your low-tier Heaven.”
This was an answer that makes one shudder upon further thought.
“!!!!!!”
Gwen’s eyeballs nearly popped out, Thor’s face turned from pale to ashen, as if suddenly realizing something terrifying.
If even angels couldn’t escape, did Asgardians… have any chance of escaping the clutches? At this moment, Asgard’s Crown Prince felt patriotic worry for the first time. Just then, Captain America came out spiritedly with a briefcase.
“What are you talking about?”
Captain America Steve looked somewhat radiant.
“Looks like you’re interested in our products too.” Thanos followed, noticing Ian pestering his technician.
“These are trial packs; you can take them back for your subjects to try.” Thanos clearly thought Ian was Earth’s Skyfather.
He was very generous, signaling attendants to bring a delicate metal box. Ian took it happily like a child receiving a Christmas gift.
“On behalf of God and Satan, thank you! Old bro Thanos!”
“Brother, no need to be polite!”
Thanos hadn’t expected Ian’s sudden enthusiasm; he looked surprised as the “short” Ian hugged his waist and patted his back.
Gwen, Thor, and Captain America simultaneously stepped back three paces.
“I hope next time you bring a big contract to find me.” After the sales pitch, Thanos kept his word and prepared a spaceship for them. He personally escorted them to the new spaceship, kindly giving star map coordinates upon parting.
“To save Odin, this star route is the shortest.” Clearly, Thanos’s thoughts may have changed, but his wisdom remained exceptional.
The spaceship was luxurious; Ian didn’t forget to pack the old spaceship inside, since his next appearance would randomly be in the space cut from the old spaceship. At least New Teacher Tony said so, though Ian didn’t know if New Teacher Tony’s accuracy was up to par.
“See you next time, my dear old bro Thanos!”
Ian waved goodbye to Thanos.
Watching the spaceship take off and leave, Thanos stood with hands behind his back, eyes profound.
“What about the survivors from the other spaceship?”
He asked without turning his head.
The adjutant wearing a breathing mask knelt on one knee.
“As per your orders, sent to the pain laboratory, testing the new fertility potion’s compatibility on non-humanoid creatures and divine beings.”
This adjutant was Ebony Maw.
One of the Black Order.
The Black Order was Thanos’s most famous and powerful group of subordinates, each with unique abilities, and Ebony Maw was the head of the Black Order.
Second only to Thanos in status. Ebony Maw had super strength and healing abilities; no matter how severe the wound, it could heal quickly. He wielded a battle blade hosting his soul; even if his body was destroyed, as long as the blade remained, he could revive endlessly.
“Good, give those Death followers the most painful package. Since they follow Death… let them eternally struggle in the pain of life’s proliferation.” The corners of Thanos’s mouth slowly curved up, finally showing the cruel smile befitting a Cosmic Overlord.
He remained as extreme as ever.
The Guardians of the Galaxy, who had once exchanged fire with Ian and others, might in this new Marvel Universe be undertaking some other missions yet unknown.
Of course, regarding this, Ian and Earth’s heroes were unaware. The spaceship Thanos gave them was once again piloted by the forgetful Steve toward the stars—no choice, besides Steve, no one present knew how to fly an airplane.
Ian had only driven a car.
And that car’s ending wasn’t great.
“By the way, if we feed fertility potions to Mjolnir, will we get a batch of little Mjolnirs?”
The spaceship flew on as Ian pondered at the console.
His world-shaking talent stirred again.
“NO!!!” Thor, Gwen, and Captain America screamed in unison.
The spaceship jumped into hyperspace amid the screams, leaving only Ian’s regretful mutter: “It would clearly be an interesting research topic…”
The spaceship sped along Thanos’s star map, countless times faster than New Teacher Tony’s old relic. The space jump engine hummed lowly, starlight outside the porthole stretching into thin lines, and in an instant, they arrived in a desolate star domain.
“This is… the Frost Giants’ homeland?” Gwen pressed against the window, gazing at the dead void outside.
The coordinates that should have been a planet now held only a black hole devouring all light, quietly floating in the darkness like a wound torn in the Universe.
“My father and Doctor Strange disappeared into that black hole…” Thor gripped Mjolnir tightly, sorrow flashing in his eyes.
Steve scanned around, brows furrowed: “What do we do next?”
Ian was squatting in a corner studying Thanos’s potion instructions, answering without looking up: “Of course, take the long view. I’m short on time; you guys stay put here, I’ll go buy a few…”
Before he finished, the spaceship’s alarm suddenly shrieked sharply!
“Warning! Gravity anomaly! Warning!”
Outside the porthole, the silent black hole began rotating without warning, its terrifying suction instantly seizing the spaceship.
“Ian!!! Did you do something again?” Gwen screamed, grabbing the armrest, but it was too late—the whole spaceship crumpled like a soda can crushed by an invisible giant hand, dragged toward the black hole depths amid teeth-grinding metal twists.
Chaos. Upside down. Spinning.
Ian felt thrown into a washing machine, limbs stretching and deforming in the violent gravity tides. The spaceship’s hull cracked like an eggshell; in the blinding white light, he vaguely saw Thor flung into the void, Captain America tightly holding Gwen.
The few were swallowed by spatial rifts… then scattered. This place forbade metal entry but seemed to accommodate life.
“Bang!”
Ian wasn’t hurt but heavily landed on a black “ground”—if this void chaos could be called ground.
“Hiss… my kidneys nearly got flung out…” Ian grimaced and stood, finding himself in a bizarre space without up, down, left, or right. In the distance, a pitch-black longsword was stuck in the “ground,” dark mist writhing like a living thing around the blade, black flames flickering in the skull sockets on the guard.
“Black Lament! Darkness Sword!” Ian was somewhat surprised but walked up. The moment his fingers touched the hilt.
Bell sound rang.
The next moment, the spinning sensation assaulted again. When Ian came to, he found himself in a room in DC Hell.
He still gripped that Darkness Sword.
As Ian savored it, suddenly, rustling page-turning sounds echoed like tides in his mind. The original drafts he’d created in the DC Universe glowed, countless words flashing like threads before his eyes.
“What’s going on!?” Ian was shocked to see the 【Writer】 profession experience bar on the system panel skyrocketing.
【Writer experience points +70】
【Writer experience points +140】
【Writer experience points +111】
…
【Writer profession reaches lv10!】
【New skill【Write the World】 loading!】
Meanwhile, in the Marvel Universe, at the spot where the Darkness Sword was pulled, countless images appeared, scenes of light and shadow erupting wildly.
Those hidden, sealed things—began to manifest!
