Chapter 214: Raven, You’re Just A Middleman!
Ian’s actions truly left Raven speechless.
“……”
Ian’s rapid “progress” over two weeks shocked Raven at the speed of modern mental illness. She stood in the center of the church, feeling her temples throbbing.
The cognition she had accumulated since gaining consciousness and beginning her struggle against Sangong Mo’s shadow was being overturned with devastating force by this middle school student hanging upside down by his head.
The scene was actually somewhat sanity-draining.
“Ding ding ding~”
Ian Kent’s head was still swinging on the ceiling, like an extremely bizarre humanoid wind chime.
Of course, the thing that left Raven most baffled was Ian’s body, which should have been stuck to the ground and unable to move, yet was freely active on the ground and even giving others golden mouths!
She clearly saw Ian’s body striding lightly to Jonathan in front of her, completely ignoring the rules of physics—the head and body were clearly in two different spaces, yet seemed to share the same nervous system and will, with no sluggishness in their movements.
This was no longer simple space teleportation or illusion; it was an existence state Raven completely couldn’t understand, touching the absolute blind spot of her magic knowledge.
“Could mental illness have let him redefine his own rules?” Raven played with magic, so she believed in idealism, but her even thinking of this possibility fully showed her demigod brain was truly operating at its limit.
A chill crept up her spine.
Raven felt that if that were true, the youth named Ian in front of her was truly outrageously eerie—this was more spine-chilling than facing her father Sangong Mo’s whispers.
Because the latter was at least still within her comprehensible category of “evil and chaos.”
While Raven was trying hard to “rationally” explain Ian’s situation, on the other side, Jordan, who had regained a new mouth, seemed to discover a new continent after his initial shock.
She saw that as Ian’s “surgery” proceeded simply and directly, at the spot where Jordan’s mouth had disappeared, a flash of golden light appeared, and surprisingly, a pure gold metal little mouth engraved with intricate and gorgeous patterns emerged. It was seamlessly “welded” onto Jordan’s face, with a slightly adjusted smiling lip feel.
“Huh?!”
Jordan was actually quite startled at first.
But immediately after, he tried vibrating his vocal cords, and that golden mouth actually produced sound, moreover a voice with a strange metallic resonance that sounded unusually thick and powerful.
“Wow! This feeling… so peculiar!” Jordan “said” in astonishment, even trying to lick the cold metal lips with his tongue, “Although it’s a bit cool, speaking feels… more substantial! Yes! I feel like the words I say are worth more money! If a girl wants to kiss me, I’d have to charge!”
“Their two mouths might not even be studded with real diamonds, but my mouth is genuine pure gold!” Sure enough, it was the hormone-overloaded and showy second brother.
This train of thought even made Ian feel like there was something wrong with his head.
As for this.
Raven felt it even more directly.
“……”
She looked at that curly-haired boy with a pure gold mouth who was still raving on, and then thought of his father Superman, who was hailed as the god of man.
And the equally abnormal Ian nearby.
A terrifying thought uncontrollably emerged—Superman… is he really Earth’s hope? Could Superman be a long-hidden veteran mental illness patient?!
It wasn’t unreasonable for Raven to think this way.
After all, her brain was truly sharp, able to calculate many things in a single thought.
To produce two such sons purely through genetic inheritance, what kind of probability, what kind of coincidence would that require?! It couldn’t be that Kryptonian genes combining with Earthling genes produce some unpredictable chemical reaction!
“Sure enough, the prophecy of Earth’s crises upon crises is not without truth!”
Raven’s expression was truly speechless; in fact, after the Sangong Mo incident at school before, Raven had thoroughly investigated Ian and Ian’s family situation.
She also knew how many “superhero aliases” Ian had—one A4 paper couldn’t list them all, each alias accompanied by a pile of jaw-dropping feats that couldn’t be explained by common sense.
The more she thought.
The more Raven felt her heart chill.
Her gaze swept over Damian Wayne nearby, who although bound was always highly vigilant, trying to kill her with his eyes. Yes, she also knew this kid’s father was Batman. That dark knight famous for his suspicion, control freak tendencies, and similarly abnormal mental state.
Knowing this wasn’t because Raven’s investigative skills were that great, but since capturing Damian, she had heard no less than a hundred times from Damian’s mouth “my dad is so-and-so.”
Pure self-exposure.
Raven couldn’t not know even if she tried.
The only relationship between Ian and Superman was information she had investigated herself; of course, it didn’t require much effort, because Metropolis’s abstract heroes were all ones she could match.
And as for what aliases like Stocking Superman had to do with the real Superman, every newspaper agency or media in Metropolis knew without saying.
Raven easily obtained all the information she wanted.
And it was precisely based on these investigations that she formulated this plan.
Yes, capturing Jordan was no random kidnapping; Raven was very clear on the relationship between Jordan and Ian, and the subsequent rescuers Jonathan and Damian were not the ones she wanted to see.
Raven captured Jordan.
Even deliberately saying terrifying words like “sacrifice” afterward to scare the three unlucky ones—all the purpose was just to lure out Ian.
This was the fastest, easiest, and most convenient method for a lazy person to find Ian. Raven wasn’t stupid; after traveling far and wide for so many years, if she really wanted to kill three people and use them as sacrifices, how could she “negligently” leave their communication devices and let them “secretly” call for help.
Truth be told, if Raven hadn’t been so cooperative, Jonathan and the other three really couldn’t have hidden their actions with just clothes.
“In that case, this Jonathan is also quite clever.” Raven couldn’t help but sigh wearily in her heart; fortunately, the plan was ultimately quite successful.
Ian had indeed come.
The only thing beyond her expectations, even completely out of control, was that Ian’s abilities had become even more eerie and abstract, and his mental state even more unparalleled.
Directly obsoleting her previous understanding of Ian.
“How hasn’t he gotten the internal price and taken the special channel into Arkham yet.” While Raven was brainstorming internally, trying to reassess the situation.
Ian’s body on the ground began moving again.
He leaned close to Jonathan, his head hanging from the ceiling enthusiastically pitching: “Jonathan, look at Jordan’s new look, cool and flashy, right? Pure gold! Comes with subwoofer effect! Want the same one? I always treat brothers equally without favoritism!”
Ian was demonstrating his equal familial affection, afraid Jonathan would feel slighted.
“……”
Jonathan looked at Jordan’s shiny golden mouth.
His face full of horror.
He truly didn’t want to experience this equal familial affection.
“I don’t want it! American football requires security checks!” Fortunately, Jonathan came up with a quick excuse in his panic, knowing Ian disliked American football.
“Alright.”
Ian sighed disappointedly first, but immediately switched to a bewitching expression, “Then how about an upgrade? How about ‘golden eyes’?”
“Made with eco-friendly materials, sure to pass security checks, comes with focused heat vision and flash effects, guaranteed flashier than our old man’s heat vision!”
“Plug and play! Hot swappable!”
Ian knew how to innovate with his abilities.
His thoughts were as forward-thinking as ever; hearing this, Jonathan clearly hesitated, seemingly really considering the practicality of “golden eyes.”
Mainly because the heat ray was very appealing to Jonathan.
As the son of Superman.
Not having heat vision was truly uncomfortable; of course Jonathan cared a bit, even if he had his own path, which son didn’t want to hear his father praise him as “just like me”?
The more he thought.
The more Jonathan wavered.
“Stop! You two stop!”
Raven saw this and her alarm bells rang loudly. Based on her understanding of Ian, he absolutely could perform on-site eyeball replacement surgery!
That would be too sanity-draining!
To prevent Ian from really pulling out golden eyeballs and performing unlicensed surgery on-site, Raven waved her hand, restoring Jordan’s mouth.
“Ah?”
Jordan exclaimed, feeling his face lighten.
She saw that pure gold, gorgeous mouth that made his speech “more substantial” instantly vanish, replaced by his original intact flesh-and-blood mouth.
“Clang~”
The new mouth, used for just a few minutes, was directly “squeezed” off to the ground by the regrown original mouth, surprisingly making Jordan feel a bit reluctant.
No wonder men love the new and hate the old.
“What a pity, you didn’t even warm it up, Jordan. Looks like you’re fated to lack gold, can’t hold onto real gold or real essence.” Ian’s head on the ceiling also showed an extremely regretful expression.
As if a great artwork had been destroyed.
“？？？？”
Raven looked at the two’s slightly melancholic appearance and finally couldn’t help covering her forehead.
She couldn’t hold back her snark bursting out: “No… what the hell are you regretting?! That was just a metal lump violating physiological structure!”
Raven was still a materialist.
Probably forced by Ian.
“Hm?”
Ian’s ceiling head immediately shot her a “you don’t get it” look, retorting in a matter-of-fact tone: “Woman, your thinking is very limited! This is pure gold! Combines artistic value, practical value, and value retention function!”
“How is this a metal lump? This is man’s romance!”
His voice was resolute.
But it held no persuasiveness for Raven.
Man’s romance?
A gold mouth?!
“Big gold teeth aren’t popular anymore, so big gold mouths are now, huh?” Raven felt the vein on her forehead start throbbing wildly; she truly couldn’t keep up with Ian’s thought process.
Someone had once called her a madman.
Now.
She really wanted to drag those people over to see this freak in front of her!
Due to Raven’s large emotional fluctuations, the purple-black energy around her began to ripple uncontrollably, and the air in the church became somewhat restless.
Candle flames swayed violently.
The bound Damian whispered to Jonathan: “I think she’s about to explode.”
Jonathan shivered: “I… I think so too…”
But Raven took a deep breath, forcibly suppressing the wrath almost bursting out. She kept telling herself inwardly: Calm down, calm down, I need to stay calm.
“I still have serious business needing him.” Raven repeated it silently several times, her surrounding energy fluctuations slowly subsiding. She raised her eyes, trying to keep her voice steady, though her tone was still somewhat helpless: “I came to you for serious business. Last time at school, is that minotaur you took away still alive?”
“Please don’t tell me you’ve already stewed it into minotaur soup.” Raven stared at Ian, her tone carrying a bit of prayer; she truly had a use for Minotaur Baal now.
The minotaur demon was Sangong Mo’s minion, containing special marks and energy. So, Raven needed it to track the source of Sangong Mo’s recent abnormal activities.
When she asked this, she really had no confidence. After all, with Ian’s style, it was possible he’d turned that demon core into marbles, soaked it in medicinal liquor, or even used it as a sacrifice in some strange ritual. Of course, the greatest possibility was that Ian had stewed it into minotaur soup.
Raven still couldn’t forget, when she was explaining hell demon gods to Ian, Ian’s crazed swallowing, as if he wanted to stew all seventy-two demons of Solomon into soup.
Precisely because of this.
She strongly suspected Ian also liked eating little demons.
After asking, Raven didn’t immediately get Ian’s affirmative or negative answer. Instead, a flash of extremely genuine shock passed through Ian’s eyes.
“Hiss~ You’re actually a business genius!” Ian seemed to hear some earth-shattering brilliant idea, his face instantly filling with a complex expression of astonishment and regret.
“Oh, miss, you’re truly a business genius held back by magic! Damn! Why didn’t I think of this business model back when I wasn’t rich?!”
“You’re right, I can let that guy take 24-hour hot baths, then sell his bathwater outside as minotaur soup!” Ian’s sudden reaction completely threw Raven off.
“No, that’s not what I meant!”
Raven froze in place; she prepared to correct Ian, but Ian was now spouting clever remarks nonstop, crazily interrupting, leaving all her prepared follow-up words stuck in her throat.
“Don’t say anything yet, don’t worry, I’ll take it to heart and expand on it.” Ian was fully immersed in his “business blueprint,” speaking at machine-gun speed with shining eyes.
“I have a chance now too! Small-scale is boring! I need to scale up, industrialize! Build a dedicated factory for pre-made fresh-stewed beef soup!”
“Crabs bathed in the Rhine can be sold as Rhine crab at high prices; if I let the genuine, even live-state, not zombie meat Baal pass through water, how isn’t it minotaur soup? This wave, my conscience is maxed—I can totally open a genuine【 West Shell】 restaurant!”
“Mainly pure natural, soup never ate feed, absolutely high-end! Though pre-made dishes, my raw materials definitely won’t use two-year-old broccoli!”
“I’m a capitalist, one with some conscience… At most make the presentation exquisite, serve beef soup in fancy wine glasses, sell to New York masters.”
Ian grew more excited, his head swinging even more vigorously on the ceiling.
“？？？？？？” Raven listened to this outrageous business plan reaching beyond the galaxy, her mouth twitching almost to cramps. But soon, she keenly caught the key information from Ian’s nonsense—when Ian mentioned the minotaur demon, he used words like “let it bathe,” “live,” “pass through water”!
This meant that demon was still alive!
Raven’s heart leaped with joy; she forcibly interrupted Ian’s increasingly wild ideas, her voice carrying urgency and confirmation: “So that minotaur demon called Baal is still alive, right?!”
“Great! Can you lend it to me for a bit? Just a bit! I guarantee to return it intact! After I’m done, I’ll give you ten! No! A hundred more advanced, more powerful demons! You could even sell demon meat in New York! Absolutely more valuable than your headless demon!”
Raven was a magic expert, so she wanted to “beat magic with magic,” standing on Ian’s thought process, trying to sway him with these benefits.
Though she hadn’t dealt with Ian much, Raven prided herself on reading people well; she felt this “one-for-many” exchange should move this business-obsessed youth.
Of course.
Hope is beautiful.
Reality is always unexpected.
Raven’s suggestion was indeed stroking the fur.
But upon hearing it, Ian frowned immediately, his face showing clear difficulty and refusal: “No no. Baal is different from other demons.”
“It’s no longer just a trash can… uh, I mean, it has other important positions now; we’ve developed a tiny bit of affection after spending time together.”
Ian wasn’t the kind of boss who would sell his employees.
As he said, he always saw himself as a capitalist, and capitalists rarely sell out employees for small gains; if he really wanted demons, he had plenty of places to catch them.
“Affection?” Raven was stunned; she completely couldn’t understand how one could develop “affection” for an ugly, chaotic, essentially evil minotaur demon.
This statement not only stunned Raven but made the bound Jordan Kent’s eyes narrow sharply; he felt like he was the only smart one who saw through everything again.
“Yes! That minotaur head… awesome! My brother must have developed feelings for it! I totally get it!” Jordan’s tone carried a hint of envy.
At these words, the scene instantly quieted.
Ian and Jonathan both looked at Jordan with extremely bizarre expressions.
As the saying goes, deep brotherhood; they instantly understood that Jordan, this color-brained waste guy, had absolutely thought in some indescribable direction.
“What are you talking about?”
The only one who didn’t get it was Damian Wayne.
However, seeing Raven frown due to Ian’s refusal, seeming unsure how to continue negotiations, his show-off personality took over again.
“See my idol rejected you? Why not start raising the price? Among the few truths my old man has said in his life, ‘no problem can’t be solved by adding money’ really works.”
“Believe me, this is Gotham’s truth.” Damian’s tone was reflective, clearly having practiced this plenty.
“Hm?”
Raven was in an awkward spot with no moves left.
Hearing Damian’s “experienced advice,” though it felt odd coming from a bound kid, she considered it and actually adopted the suggestion.
“Then a thousand! A thousand more powerful demons! Just lend me your trash can for a bit!” Raven turned to Ian, her expression more sincere.
“It’s not about the number… it’s not an equivalent exchange issue, it’s a matter of principle, of affection…” Ian looked at Raven’s serious bidding.
The difficulty on his face grew heavier.
Seeing he still wouldn’t budge, Raven truly grew anxious. Her tone became urgent and serious: “Ian! It’s not for me! I’ve sensed Sangong Mo—my father—he’s plotting something extremely terrifying! A grand conspiracy possibly affecting multiple dimensions! I must use a minion with the same power source as him to probe his specific movements and plans! The mark on Baal is key!”
She took a deep breath, trying to persuade Ian with the greater good; after all, Ian was Superman’s child, with family heritage: “This concerns the safety of countless worlds…”
Good idea, but Raven couldn’t finish.
“Wait?!”
Ian abruptly interrupted her, his voice instantly rising eight degrees, filled with incredulous shock, even drowning out Raven’s anxious statement.
“Don’t tell me, hearing doomsday is coming, you’re preparing supplies in advance… to make a killing?” Raven was startled by Ian’s sudden yell.
She came back to her senses and immediately looked at Ian suspiciously.
“No, no, it’s doomsday, why would I still need money; saying that… are you okay? Want some sour plums?”
Taking the chance, Ian’s head dropped back onto his body, then he raised his hand to touch Raven’s forehead, seemingly checking if she had a fever and was delirious.
In truth.
He was clearly still scheming.
“Hm?”
Raven quickly dodged.
“Let’s talk about Sangong Mo instead.”
Ian sighed disappointedly.
“Okay.” Raven looked over with a mix of expectation and confusion, preparing to emphasize Sangong Mo’s threat. However, what she saw was Ian’s eyes gleaming, mouth slightly agape, with an extremely excited, drooling expression, even… a suspicious glistening liquid about to drip from the corner of his mouth?
“No… your drool is about to hit the ground, you know?”
Raven was dumbfounded.
For such a serious topic, was drooling appropriate?
“Skipping you the middleman, shouldn’t I be happily drooling?!”
Ian’s response was righteous.
Completely without the wariness of Sangong Mo that Raven had imagined.
