Chapter 231: Ian: I Am The Pal Master!
Earth.
Humanity’s mother, home of life.
It was actually “released” by Ian.
Returning to its original approximate cosmic coordinates.
“Putting it inside felt like growing a stone in my body, thankfully I know how to expel it.” Ian grumbled as he waved his hand, dispelling the dark dimension that covered this star sector. The distorted space returned to normal, and the real cosmic background radiation and starlight once again spread.
He first looked at the Earth he had “returned to its place,” then his brow furrowed slightly – it seemed… its position had deviated somewhat? The orbit that should have revolved around the sun appeared to have shifted outwards a tiny bit?
It can’t be helped, this is what happens when you don’t get the aim right. Many people’s home toilets suffer because of this, and for Ian, the specific manifestation was that the Earth seemed a little too far from the sun.
And the distance to the moon… also seems to have increased?
As a top student.
At least as a scholar who considered himself well-read and knowledgeable, he was quite aware of the trouble such deviations could cause. The sun is the primary source of energy for Earth, determining climate, temperature, life evolution, and almost all other critical conditions. If Earth’s orbit moved outwards, even by just 5%~10%, the consequences would be catastrophic.
Earth’s current average surface temperature is about 15°C.
If Earth were 10% farther from the sun, it would receive about 19% less solar radiation, meaning the global average temperature could drop to -10°C or even lower.
Although the moon does not provide light and heat, its gravitational influence on Earth is extremely important. If the moon were to move away from Earth, the effects would primarily be seen in tides, rotation, climate stability, and other aspects.
“Fortunately, it only deviated by two percent!” Ian felt a sense of relief that his desire to protect Earth hadn’t gone too far.
“Perhaps I can put it back in the safe, and then once again release it with my magic pistol… as the saying goes, practice makes perfect.” Ian’s astonishing wisdom controlled his brain to come up with a miraculous solution.
And just then.
A familiar “gaze” that made his scalp tingle suddenly descended!
“Something’s wrong! It’s the echo of Gucci’s belt!”
Ian suddenly looked up.
Immediately, he saw not far away, silently suspended in the vacuum, arms crossed, staring at him expressionlessly – an alien, yes, his old man.
Clark Kent, also known as Superman!
In those blue eyes, there was no usual warmth, only a scrutiny mixed with helplessness, a headache, and a “what kind of mischief are you up to now” expression.
His mind-reading ability seemed unable to access Ian’s inner thoughts.
Ian’s heart sank. Almost instinctively, his hands immediately covered his… right hand. Don’t ask how he could cover a third hand with two hands.
When it comes to Lord Evil God, he can have as many hands as he wants.
“Dad! Don’t hit! Don’t hit! Show some mercy!” Ian’s face was filled with terror and “frailty,” his voice an octave higher, choked with tears as he shouted.
“Don’t disturb my prenatal condition! There’s a baby in the placenta of my palm! It’s billions of years old! Very historically valuable! A nationally protected antique infant!”
Saying that, he didn’t wait for Clark to react, and immediately took off running… well, he couldn’t run in a vacuum. He raised his hand and, in a flying posture, used a classic pose to dart away.
Energy surged around him.
Ian zipped into Earth’s atmosphere with a “whoosh.”
Disappearing instantly.
Leaving behind only Superman Clark, bewildered alone in the vacuum of space.
Clark listened to Ian’s “plea” that was outrageously far-fetched, watched his exaggerated performance and fleeing figure, and finally, with a sigh of helplessness, lowered his raised hand.
He didn’t even have the slightest thought of chasing.
Clark knew Ian too well.
If he dared to chase, even just showing a hint of wanting to investigate, that little bastard Ian would absolutely perform a “spontaneous miscarriage” on the spot.
Then, on the Superhero Popularity Center, there would be more exaggerated content added out of nowhere. Not even the next day, he would be pestered by all sorts of protective agencies when he went out to be a hero. This was something Ian would do, and in the end, it would still be Clark who had a headache.
“Sigh…” Clark sighed deeply, feeling that raising Ian to be a valuable member of society was more taxing than dealing with ten Brainiacs simultaneously.
He cast his gaze towards the Earth, which had been “returned to its place” by Ian, but its position was clearly deviated from its original orbit, and it was even further from the moon than it should be.
Superman’s super vision was at play, his eyes could clearly see that due to this sudden change in orbit, some chain reactions of natural phenomena had already begun on Earth.
The global tidal forces were undergoing subtle and chaotic changes, the crustal activity also seemed to be affected, and the climate systems in some regions began to show signs of instability.
Earth’s temperature was also rapidly dropping.
“This brat…” Clark rubbed his temples, knowing that now was not the time to dwell on Ian. The immediate priority was to clean up the mess for his own son.
He hesitated no longer, took a deep breath of “air” that didn’t exist in space, and a powerful bio-electric field instantly expanded outwards, like an invisible but strong and firm giant hand, extremely slowly and very stably covering the entire Earth! Then, this God of Man adjusted his posture and flew to the side of the Earth.
Clark extended his hands and began to “push” the Earth back into its original orbit, as if an athlete pushing a giant fitness ball, exerting force from a distance. This scene, if captured by a telescope, would likely become one of the most shocking and bizarre images in human history.
It was clear.
Superman had unlocked a new way to use his bio-electric field, allowing him to perform this miraculous feat of pushing the Earth without physically touching it.
While Superman was busy like an old man pushing a ball.
On the other side, Ian plunged into Earth’s atmosphere as if being chased by a swarm of wasps, a long trail of scorching ionized gas stretching behind him from the friction.
He flew at high speed, frequently looking back with trepidation, fearing his dad might not play by the rules and suddenly appear behind him for a “righteous backstab.”
Fortunately, after flying for a long time without seeing Clark pursue him, Ian finally breathed a sigh of relief. However, he still didn’t dare to be careless, knowing his dad’s ability for sudden appearances and keen senses.
“Dad also has moments where he doesn’t play by the book.”
Ian knew how big of a gamble he had taken, and his behavior was even a bit paranoid, worried that Clark had predicted his prediction and was already waiting for him at his likely destination.
Thinking this, Ian began an extremely cautious “stealth” mode. He first circled the Earth several times, using the urban heat island effect, large magnetic field interference zones, and even the smoke plumes of certain erupting volcanoes as cover, constantly changing direction and altitude, performing what he considered “counter-tracking” operations.
Of course.
In reality, Ian might have been fighting a battle with himself. He knew this, but knowing it was one thing, and not doing it was another – who knew if he would regret it if he were caught.
Moreover, he still had to show an appearance of guilt, which would make it easier for him to be caught by his dad and “admit his mistakes and improve.” Ian was already calculating many things in his mind.
Finally, after confirming that his dad didn’t seem to be pursuing him, he landed as stealthily as a thief at the Demon Manor located in the bustling city center.
Ian didn’t go through the main entrance. Instead, he sneakily dug a tunnel deep underground until he was close to the underground area of the manor’s core defensive formation. He even pulled out a thick lead plate, printed with nude photos of Hollywood actresses, and held it above his head.
Then, he carefully broke through the soil and burrowed into the most secret hidden chamber underground in the manor.
He firmly believed that with his dad’s character and love for his mom, he would absolutely not use his X-ray vision to look at nude photos of beautiful women. If his dad’s character was questionable, he would complain to his mom. Yes, these photos could effectively prevent Superman from peeping from afar. Ian wouldn’t teach this secret, which even Batman hadn’t figured out, to just anyone.
“Where is the Kryptonite I excavated from Uncle Bruce’s house?” Only with over a ton of Kryptonian goods in hand did Ian feel a little more at ease in the secret room.
Back in his absolutely safe lair, Ian finally relaxed completely. He patted the non-existent dirt off his body and sat cross-legged on the rune formation in the center of the secret room, which emanated a faint magical glow.
It was time to take stock of the most important spoils.
Money and gold were not Ian’s primary concerns anymore.
He closed his eyes.
His consciousness sank into his body, arriving at the extra dimension specifically used to “contain” and “research” extraterrestrial life – a small world completely under his control with peculiar rules.
His consciousness took on his image, appearing in the “sky” of this extra dimension. Looking down, the scene made him recall a famous children’s anime.
Ian, like Ash from Pokémon, enthusiastically swung his fist forward, using all his might in the form of the sun and laughing heartily in the sky.
“Hahaha! I’ve captured—Golden Superman and Ultraman Tiga!”
Ian was indeed a bit smug. If he couldn’t capture Darkseid, that heavyweight tumor in the DC universe, couldn’t he capture Golden Superman and Tiga?
Don’t look at Golden Superman’s might in his own universe, but in the main DC universe, his world’s status weight wasn’t as significant as Ian Kent’s, a native of this universe.
The fact that Ian could capture him into his dimension fully explained this.
And in his extra dimension, dragons coiled and tigers lay low! Below, just as many transmigration novel protagonists would wake up in a forest, in the alley that Ian had maliciously set as the initial spawn point for all “outsiders,” two figures were scrambling to get up from the ground, looking disheveled.
Yes, two figures, who shamelessly and maliciously merged into one in front of a child, and were now forcibly separated by Ian: Golden Superman and Ultraman Tiga.
At this moment, both of these extraordinary beings were in a rather miserable state. Golden Superman’s shining heart had dimmed, and although the muscular lines that could seemingly shatter planets with a punch were still there, they gave the impression of muscles built from protein powder, looking increasingly “superficial” the more one looked.
After getting up, Golden Superman immediately realized something was wrong.
His face changed dramatically!
“What’s going on… my power… my Kryptonian gene… why does it all seem to be dormant?!” He tried to mobilize the solar energy within him, but it was like a stone sinking into the ocean, with no response! This feeling made him more alarmed than when he first encountered Kryptonite in his youth!
Being shocked was not enough to describe his current panic.
Ian was willing to use the phrase “pale with fright” to describe Golden Superman’s current state.
Compared to Golden Superman, who was still a normal human size, Ultraman Tiga’s situation was even more bizarre. His giant body of light had also shrunk to near human proportions, and his originally iridescent red, silver, and purple color scheme had become dull. The energy timer on his chest was still blue.
But its light was weak.
Tiga raised his hands, examining his giant silver palms repeatedly, his eyes filled with confusion. He felt like he had the taste of leaded gasoline in his mouth for some reason.
Similarly.
Tiga didn’t understand why he was caught up in an indescribable struggle. The current situation made even him, a worldly wanderer, feel extremely strange.
He had died again, and he was quite used to dying, his consciousness returning to fragments of light, waiting for the possibility of his next revival. But this time, he was forcefully pulled out of that dormant state by an incredibly overbearing force, not only shoved into this strange universe but also stripped of his power.
“Who can strip me of my power?”
Tiga’s mind was in turmoil. He looked at Golden Superman, whose emotions were fluctuating as much as his own. However, he opened his mouth to try to express something.
“Don’t panic, my original abilities haven’t been lost, I just need a little time to absorb new light,” Tiga said, but the sound that came out was only the classic Ultraman vocalization.
“TIGA!~TIGA!~TIGA!~”
Tiga repeated himself, and it seemed to be the only syllable. It was no wonder that after losing his power, his mind-link ability, which he relied on to communicate with other beings, naturally became useless. Perhaps Belial’s language was understandable, but Tiga was genuinely unable to communicate with Golden Superman.
Golden Superman was a bit bewildered by Tiga’s sudden utterance.
He frowned, looked at the once gigantic creature beside him, who now looked like someone in a suit, spread his hands, and spoke with confusion and a hint of helplessness.
“Can you… speak like a human?” He didn’t understand a single word! The reason he didn’t say “a word” was because Tiga seemed to only have one syllable.
Ultraman Tiga: “…”
He was also helpless.
Communication failed. Tiga was silent for a moment, deciding he had to use the old method to recover some strength, at least regain telepathy or basic combat abilities.
He had an almost instinctive process for recovering his power. Since his body was temporarily so empty, he would do it in the most primitive and direct way – absorbing light!
Tiga slowly closed his eyes, which had no eyelids, and when the two light bulbs went out, he closed his eyes. He began to adjust his nearly depleted energy core, continuously attempting to connect with the “light” in his surroundings and carrying out the most basic action of absorbing the nutrients he needed.
For Tiga, the definition of “light” had always been broad. Not only visible sunlight and starlight but also the light of hope in human hearts, the light of courage, and other positive emotional energies. Even in some extreme situations, it could be conceptual “light,” such as the word “light” written on a wall.
He could absorb power from it.
Of course.
It didn’t matter if there was no light.
If Tiga felt there was light, then there was light. With this ability, Tiga became one of the most frequently resurrected Ultramen, accepting any form of light without refusal.
Especially sunlight.
It was so warm.
Tiga accepted it without refusal!
He activated the energy absorption technique that transcended countless times and spaces, which had helped him through many crises. Like a parched sponge, he began to greedily absorb all concepts that could be defined as “light” in his surroundings!
Faint visible light was drawn in, converging into his body like fireflies; the sparse light energy in the air, from the distant city lights, was also extracted.
Even the “LIGHT” graffiti on the wall seemed to have a trace of extremely weak, almost illusory energy fluctuation that he captured due to the concept of “light” it carried.
This process, over his long life in various forms, spanning hundreds of millions of years, he had gone through countless times. Each time he was severely injured or exhausted, he relied on this method, like a spark, to rekindle his own light.
However, this time—by sheer coincidence, Tiga, who had always been predictable, experienced the wonder of a new life for free. Everyone’s definition of wonderful was different.
Just as Tiga had absorbed twice, his dormant energy core hadn’t even managed to generate a hint of warmth when he instinctively felt something was wrong.
“Hiss—!!!”
Tiga’s eyes snapped open.
Those milky white eyes were filled with extreme horror!
From Golden Superman’s perspective, the giant “suit-guy” beside him suddenly trembled violently as if electrocuted! Immediately after, Tiga’s massive body collapsed backward like his bones had been removed, hitting the ground with a dull thud.
What made Golden Superman even more stunned was that Tiga’s iconic T-shaped mouth suddenly began to foam white uncontrollably!
The foam also carried an indescribable, peculiar odor that smelled like industrial cleaner mixed with expired candy!
“No?!”
Golden Superman was startled and, ignoring the flashing icon, quickly crouched down, looking at Tiga who had fallen and was convulsing, foaming at the mouth.
He was a bit flustered.
“What’s wrong with you all of a sudden? Are you having a seizure? Do you suit-aliens also have epilepsy?” Golden Superman tried to help him up, but seeing Tiga’s smooth body with no pockets, he froze, “Do you have any of your alien emergency medicine on you? Where did you put it?”
He had no understanding of Ultraman’s physiology and, looking at the bare “suit,” didn’t know where to start.
“You have to tell me what’s wrong!” Golden Superman was getting anxious. This place was unfamiliar, and his own powers were gone. If this guy, who seemed to be his only “companion,” were to die, he’d be in real trouble. He kept patting Tiga’s giant, hard face.
Trying to wake up this suit-wearer.
“Hey! Wake up! Hold on!”
Tiga’s entire body was trembling uncontrollably. The immense pain almost made him lose consciousness. But his strong willpower allowed him to retain a sliver of clarity.
He endured the discomfort.
With great difficulty, he raised a trembling arm, dipped his index finger into a small puddle of murky water accumulated on the ground nearby, and with his last ounce of strength, wrote a messy but legible line on the ground.
“This light… the light here… is poisonous…”
Tiga had never suffered like this before.
The lights in his eyes began to flash wildly.
More and more white foam spewed from his mouth.
It was evident that the poison was not mild.
