Chapter 303: Feud 10, Not Even Salty Anymore
“Pfft!”
Shi Jinwei, who had just taken a sip of hot water with her head down, heard this with no mental preparation at all, and a stream of water actually sprayed directly out of her nose and mouth, perfectly spraying half of Chi Ye’s cheek.
“Me…?!”
Chi Ye urgently deleted a f*ck character, looking dumbfounded at Shi Jinwei: “Spraying anywhere big or small, huh?”
“Cough cough… cough cough… I… I…”
Sister Qianzi was really choked.
And not just her, Sister Shang and the others were also “stimulated,” Shi Jinwei was okay since she sprayed Chi Ye, and Chi Ye wouldn’t dislike Sister Qianzi.
But the others were different.
Teacher Yang Zi’s big snot bubble flew right onto Aunt Mao’s head, while Tan Yue on the other side had already coughed up tears, and Wang Chuxing, who had germophobia, looked at the scene in front of him with horrified eyes.
“Cough cough… cough cough…”
—A chorus of “coughing sounds.”
“You… you…”
Aunt Mao reacted, subconsciously grabbing at her head, then struck as if by lightning, looking at the big snot bubble full of Teacher Yang Zi’s “aura” on her hand, her vision going black, nearly fainting.
Grandmother’s voice even carried a toothless cry: “Oh my god! What is this thing, this this… yue!”
She finally experienced Teacher Wang Chuxing’s special feeling from earlier.
“……Is this Chi Ye’s strength?”
The program team members nearby, who had been startled, all came back to their senses, many newcomers participating in program recording for the first time staring dumbfounded at the scene, then all turning their gazes to Director Li.
Director Li’s expression unchanged, he smiled slightly and pursed his lips: “This is just the beginning.”
“Besides, you all only noticed Chi Ye, but didn’t notice that the one who truly guided this program effect was Teacher Yang Zi!”
Everyone was stunned.
Director Li sighed: “He’s getting more and more skilled.”
Everyone: “…”
「Hahaha, dying of laughter, this meal is more interesting than Spring Festival Gala sketches.」
「Show rice a movie??? Is this something I can hear? Ye Zi, you’re not normal!」
「Why is my font yellow?」
「Damn, is this program for real? Really no editing at all? What about the delay? Delay edit it out!」
Normally, Yi Lu Fan Hua would edit out some sensitive content during the delay phase, which is the best mode internal entertainment circle variety shows have arrived at after years of live broadcast exploration.
But Yi Lu Fan Hua’s program team didn’t do that, first because what was happening right now couldn’t even be called sensitive, and second…
This is the fun and selling point of live variety shows.
If even this gets edited, what are the audience masters supposed to watch?
What does Yi Lu Fan Hua have to make it explode?
At this moment, many viewers were flooding the chat: 「This is why I only watch live broadcasts for variety shows, the recorded official versions are all castrated, and for variety shows with Chi Ye, not watching live is like having no soul.」
Spot on!
“Wipe it, wipe it, what is everyone doing.”
Chi Ye handed Sister Qianzi a tissue paper, then glanced at the various saliva that had “affected” the dishes in front of him, feeling an urge to slap himself—why did I have to run my mouth!
If only he’d covered the dishes before speaking, now it’s ruined, how can they eat this?
Luckily beside him were Shi Jinwei and Sister Shang, which he could barely accept, if he were swapped to Teacher Yang Zi and Aunt Mao’s positions… then…
Chi Ye glanced across, Teacher Yang Zi, Aunt Mao, Wang Chuxing, Tan Yue and the others had a large-scale “persona collapse,” not knowing how many of each other’s secretions were mixed into the current dishes.
Hmm…
Now it’s a high popularity live broadcast segment, what to do.
“Um… you… next time…”
Shi Jinwei caught her breath and also noticed the current dining environment was a bit “harsh,” she hesitated for a moment, then took the water cup from Chi Ye’s side which was the best protected in the whole scene, moistened her throat, and hoarsely said: “Next time tell me in advance… I’m really done.”
“……Xiao Chi, you’re awesome.”
Sister Shang never showed any negative emotion from start to finish… possibly also because she was sitting on the edge and only “affected” by Shi Jinwei.
At this moment, she looked utterly satisfied, her gaze toward Chi Ye couldn’t even be described as “sparkling.”
What is strength?
What is casually dropping bombs?
This is it!
Had to admire Xiao Chi’s mouth, as long as he wanted, he really could spray anywhere big or small.
No wonder you became popular!
“Is it really that bad? That hard?”
Teacher Yang Zi recovered and didn’t care at all about the stuff in his bowl, because he had been holding his own rice bowl just now, also not affected much, as for the dishes in front… just don’t eat them.
And as the saying goes, one more word means one less bite, plus with the current shots definitely focusing a lot, he directly “questioned” Chi Ye.
“Not that it’s bad.”
Chi Ye saw Aunt Mao still coughing and could only gesture: “Those who haven’t eaten shit can try it.”
Teacher Yang Zi, who was just about to seize the opportunity for a shot, paused his chopsticks, looking at Chi Ye speechlessly: “Can this even air?”
Chi Ye turned back to look at Director Li.
Director Li looked pained, gently shaking his head at the editor.
“Sigh, what a pity.”
The twenty-second delay was enough for the editor to mute this segment, Director Li sighed inwardly—what a shame, no need to go so hard, Chi Ye.
You only need to use a tenth of your power, no need for half!
“Cough cough, you… you all.”
Aunt Mao finally stopped her loss of composure, looking angrily at Chi Ye and the others, wanting to speak but not knowing how.
She couldn’t curse people on the spot, right?
“Sister Mao, don’t be angry.”
Teacher Yang Zi stood up: “Chi Ye didn’t mean that, he’s just like that, no malice.”
Aunt Mao caught her breath and looked at him: “You call me sister? How old are you?”
Teacher Yang Zi was stunned, then incredulous: “No way, I’m over fifty at least, you won’t call me child too, right?”
Aunt Mao: “……What I mean is, you look like you’re over sixty, don’t call me sister.”
“Heh.”
Shi Jinwei’s mouth twitched, then realizing it was impolite, quickly lowered her head, but still couldn’t hold it in.
—Aren’t these demons and monsters in this program?
Mango TV really understands traffic, how did they determine this episode’s guests before the program even started broadcasting?
Truly a gathering of talents.
Teacher Yang Zi gave her a sideways glance, silent for half a moment, took his chopsticks and ate a bite of rice, chewed, then suddenly spat it out.
Everyone dumbfounded: “What happened?”
Teacher Yang Zi: “Worse than my wife’s poop.”
“????”
Everyone’s mouths instantly dropped open, Aunt Mao’s pupils shook.
Director Li slapped his forehead: “Cut it quick!!”
“F*ck.”
Even Chi Ye was dumbfounded for at least two seconds before shocked looking at Teacher Yang Zi: “No way, you… are you this crazy now?”
“……Who told her to say I’m old.”
Teacher Yang Zi knew about the twenty-second delay, and by now in the recording, sparks had indeed flown between the guests, so he didn’t want to keep getting “bullied.”
Who was he?
He was the renowned President Yang!
Everyone here was an artist, but not him, he was a people’s entrepreneur, capital!
This old man was indeed too much, Teacher Yang Zi used to think Teacher Huang was annoying enough, recording a variety show with him once got him the nickname “child.”
As for why he didn’t hate the instigator Chi Ye… well, Chi Ye was a friend across generations, good brother, too popular, need to ride on popularity more later.
But after recording Yi Lu Fan Hua for half a day, he found Aunt Mao’s nastiness far exceeded Teacher Huang’s.
This grandmother almost gathered all the worst traits of internal entertainment circle senior Lao predecessors.
Likes to act like a diva, puts on airs, doesn’t care about hygiene, greasy, and now even publicly says he’s old, though some words weren’t convenient to say, Teacher Yang Zi could feel from her tone and eyes a heartfelt contempt and disdain toward him.
Who the hell are you? And you look down on me?
Idiot!
Teacher Yang Zi erupted, lost what is heaven and earth, began the first round of feud.
“Teacher Yang Zi, what do you mean? Do you have any shame?!”
Aunt Mao couldn’t sit still anymore, noticing the strange gazes around, instantly flew into a rage, no longer caring that they were recording, pointed at Teacher Yang Zi and yelled: “Is this how you record programs? Director, director! How did you invite such a thug to record?”
“Does someone like him even deserve to be in the same shot as us? If he’s still here, I won’t record this program!”
I won’t record!
Teacher Yang Zi hearing her words instantly felt a sense of déjà vu, thought for a few seconds before reacting—aren’t those my lines?
“Hey hey, Teacher Mao, Teacher Mao…”
Director Li had to step in now, though he was happy to keep watching the drama… though these last few lines were too explicit and violent, might not air normally, but… the joy of on-site gossip, you get it?
He finally understood Sister Shang, understood this joyful pleasure.
But Yi Lu Fan Hua was a serious program, Mango TV’s S+ variety show, couldn’t let the guests start insulting each other now, how to continue recording later?
“You must give me an explanation, did you all hear that? What did he say? He said my food… can someone like this be on a program?!”
Aunt Mao was still yelling loudly: “Today, no matter what, give me an explanation!”
“Sis… sister, don’t be angry.”
Wang Chuxing reacted and joined in persuading, while taking advantage of the chaos to quietly push all the dishes in front of him toward Aunt Mao’s side.
Tan Yue saw this, eyes lit up, and followed suit.
“You young ones all heard it, right? He disrespected me first, look at my age, he flirts with me, is this guy shameless or perverted?”
Aunt Mao saying this, her eyes even reddened.
An unmarried old daughter taken advantage of, indeed aggrieved.
Teacher Yang Zi saw this, pursed his lips, and only said flatly: “Don’t record then pay liquidated damages, I don’t see you as someone who can pay the program team that money, do you have it?”
“You!!”
Aunt Mao furious: “I’m calling the police! This program can’t be recorded!”
“…”
“Xiao Chi, Xiao Chi, you’re a god!”
On the “battlefield” periphery, Sister Shang was eating rapturously, feeling wrapped in happiness all over, while not forgetting to praise Chi Ye: “You just said a few words, and the scene turned into this, as expected of you!”
“Wherever you are, bad things happen, following you was the right choice!”
Chi Ye, who was also eagerly gossiping, heard this: “?”
“This way, won’t something happen?”
Shi Jinwei felt these two had big hearts, especially Sister Shang, still saying such things now, truly eating till lost what is heaven and earth, she was a bit worried, worried if the loss of composure continued, would there be an accident.
—After all, this wasn’t pure recording, though there was a twenty-second delay, but if it kept being this insulting state, what to broadcast next?
All bleeped or cut?
Not realistic either.
“Don’t worry, nothing will happen, these two are shrewd, you think they’re really angry? It’s all for the shots.”
Chi Ye saw through it.
Shi Jinwei looked at him suspiciously: “Really?”
Yes.
He didn’t know about Aunt Mao, but Chi Ye knew Teacher Child too well, this was a ruthless character who could stab himself for hot search, a true hardworking player.
Aunt Mao might seem angry, but given her current financial situation, pay the program team sky-high liquidated damages over this trivial matter? Possible?
Moreover, her purpose here was to become popular again, maybe that segment just now was already filmed by her connections here, to explode after the program ends or on the first episode air day, to gain some topic for herself.
By the way condemn Teacher Yang Zi, gain sympathy.
All standard tactics.
Sure enough, after the program team intervened and Director Li earnestly persuaded, Aunt Mao and Teacher Yang Zi both calmed down a lot, though still not seeing eye to eye, but could continue normal recording.
But after this process, when the audience saw the picture again, it was full of question marks.
「How did it suddenly jump here?」
「Wasn’t Chi Ye just asking Teacher Yang Zi how it tasted? What happened?」
「F*ck, where’s the promised live? Mango TV faking it as usual, right? I knew it, this isn’t live?」
「Recorded must be full, this is definitely live, did something happen we don’t know about?」
「Why does the atmosphere feel weirder the more I watch? What’s going on?」
「Damn Mango, trying to trick me into SVIP for VIP behind-the-scenes footage again?」
「Why does Aunt Mao’s face look so sour?」
Acting the full play, the guests sat properly at the dinner table, the atmosphere inexplicably awkward, everyone looking at each other, Aunt Mao’s face very sour, Teacher Yang Zi’s face unchanged, Chi Ye looked at everyone and suggested: “Let’s eat first.”
Everyone nodded, then lowered their heads one by one.
“Hm?”
Aunt Mao only now noticed that a ton of plates and dishes had appeared beside her, including from Zheng Chunchun’s side, all in front of her.
She looked up at everyone.
Chi Ye expression unchanged: “Respect the old and love the young, old man eats first.”
