Chapter 233: The Jade Emperor Is So Damn Handsome
Just as the Jade Emperor was flying into a rage, fortunately, the Queen Mother of the West arrived in time.
“Your Majesty, please do not be angry. You are the Lord of the Heavenly Court, how can you bicker endlessly with a few mortals from the lower realm? If you were to do so, it would be beneath your status.”
Perhaps it was because of what others had said to persuade the Jade Emperor, but even with his status, his word was absolute and could not be retracted.
However, this Queen Mother of the West was no ordinary person. In the lower realm, mortals often called her Queen Mother, and she had many titles, such as Golden Mother, Mother of Yaochi, Golden Mother of Yaochi, Golden Mother of the West Pool, Immortal Mother, and Golden Mother Yuanjun, among others.
Her status was no less than the Jade Emperor’s influence in the Heavenly Court.
Many people mistakenly believed the two were husband and wife, but that was not the case. To be precise, the Queen Mother of the West and the Jade Emperor were colleagues, each managing different immortals and affairs. The Queen Mother of the West was primarily responsible for managing female immortals, while the Jade Emperor was the Lord of all gods, managing the development of all things in the universe.
Upon hearing that the Jade Emperor intended to take eight hundred fairies down to the mortal realm, the Queen Mother of the West felt it was inappropriate and came to dissuade him in time.
“Your Majesty, you absolutely must not act on impulse. Even if that little scamp is extraordinary, he shouldn’t make you so angry.”
Upon seeing the Queen Mother of the West, the Jade Emperor’s mood improved significantly, and he sighed, saying:
“Alas, it’s fortunate you came. I have cultivated for so many years, and I almost fell for the tricks of those brats. Alas…”
In the lower realm, Big Brother suddenly felt something was wrong, sensing a trace of imperceptible danger. His brain raced, and in an instant, he realized the problem: the incense was still burning fiercely, and they were talking so unscrupulously. Could this not be dangerous?
I mean, joking around behind someone’s back is one thing, but this was supposed to be a form of compensation for their spiritual damage. Their wounds hadn’t even healed yet, and here we were, comforting them while also mocking them. This is… is this even human nature?
Thinking of this, Big Brother’s tone suddenly shifted.
“Alas… this is just us brothers drinking and bragging. That Old Lord Jade Emperor is truly handsome. Even after so many years of cultivation, he still looks like a calm and refined middle-aged man, as steady as Mount Tai. Every word and action exudes the charm of a mature man. If I could be half as amazing as that old lord in the future, I would be content.”
As I was retracting my words, Jin Buque and the other two couldn’t quite grasp what I meant and thought Big Brother had gotten foolish from drinking.
I said, when have I, such an impressive figure, ever elevated others and belittled myself like this?
Xue Pan asked with puzzlement, “Big Brother, what’s wrong with you? Have you eaten too many cucumbers?”
“Exactly, Big Brother. This isn’t like you! You are such an amazing person; if you wanted to, conquering the Heavenly Realm would be as easy as anything! Why are you saying this?” Old Dog chimed in.
It’s no wonder Jin Buque, my second brother, is so intelligent. Frowning slightly, he looked at me carefully, then glanced back at the large pile of burning incense beside them. He seemed to have figured something out and remained silent.
I continued, “What do you guys know? Is that Old Lord Jade Emperor an ordinary person? It’s just that we stumbled upon him by chance and unintentionally disturbed his venerable immortal presence. He is benevolent and didn’t bicker with us juniors. If it were someone with a smaller mind, they would have skinned us alive. Damn it!”
Jin Buque chuckled, “That’s right, Big Brother is right. I think that Old Lord Jade Emperor is the most handsome person in the entire Heavenly Court. No wonder he could become the Jade Emperor. People say a prime minister’s heart can hold a boat, but I feel that Old Lord Jade Emperor’s heart can hold countless universes. Such magnanimity is truly a role model for us immortal cultivators!”
Seeing that Jin Buque had also started speaking like this, Old Dog scratched his head in confusion but didn’t say anything.
In the Heavenly Court, the Old Lord Jade Emperor, who had just been advised by the Queen Mother of the West, was overjoyed to hear his brothers say this, and his face lit up with a smile. “Hahaha, I can see that these little brats have immortal fate! Next spring, after selling the corn, no, I mean, next year, I’ll see if there are any vacant immortal positions and reserve some for these brats. I find these kids pleasing to my eyes.”
Seeing this, the Queen Mother of the West covered her face and snickered.
…
“Big Brother, this doesn’t seem like your personality! Can the Jade Emperor be more handsome than you? You’re the most handsome person in the world, Big Brother!”
Xue Pan, that brat, didn’t react for a moment and continued to flatter Big Brother without understanding the gravity of the situation. This infuriated me!
I frowned, not wanting to argue with this guy anymore. Damn him, he’s beyond saving! This much drinking for him!
“Hey! Damn it, Old Jin, go give this kid a few kicks to sober him up!”
Hearing this, Jin Buque said nothing and immediately got up, grabbed Xue Pan, dragged him aside, and gave him a round of flying kicks.
Old Dog, not wanting to miss out on the fun, took out two handfuls of dog feces from his pocket and looked at me. Big Brother nodded, and then the kid followed up with a wicked grin.
Twenty minutes later, Jin Buque and Old Dog returned, supporting Xue Pan, who was bruised and swollen. They even thoughtfully stuck a cigarette in his mouth.
“Oh dear, the Old Lord Jade Emperor is truly handsome, he truly has magnanimity, and his strength is so immense, it makes me sigh with admiration. I will make him my role model from now on and strive to be like him.”
Big Brother was drinking his small beer and praising him extravagantly.
Seeing the three return, I looked at Xue Pan and asked, “Did you drink too much, little brother?”
Xue Pan quickly stammered, “Yes, Big Brother, I drank too much, sob sob sob… that Old Lord Jade Emperor is so good, sob sob… he’s so handsome! He’s so incredibly handsome! Sob sob sob…”
I mean, he can talk if he wants to, but he’s crying? I told Jin Buque to give him a few kicks, meaning for Jin Buque to pull him aside and explain to him why I was talking like that. I also let Old Dog go along for the same reason.
Damn their fathers’ butts, did they really beat up my fourth brother like this?
Seeing Xue Pan’s battered appearance, Big Brother felt a pang of heartache, damn it!
“Alas…”
However, I couldn’t blame Old Jin and Old Dog. The blame lay solely with me for not explaining myself clearly, causing the two brothers to misunderstand my intentions.
I got up and signaled Jin Buque and Old Dog to continue flattering him.
I put Xue Pan’s arm over my shoulder. “Come on, little brother, Big Brother will talk to you alone.”
Xue Pan trembled all over at this, his lips starting to tremble uncontrollably. “B-Big Brother, sob sob sob, I was wrong. That Jade Emperor is so f-ing handsome, Big Brother, Big Brother, let’s sit for a while?”
I patted his shoulder and comforted him, “It’s alright, nothing’s wrong. Big Brother will absolutely not lay a hand on you. Come, your brother wants to tell you something!”
