Chapter 234: It Is Not Proper To Receive Without Giving
After moving to the side, Xue Pan stumbled and knelt before me, his Big Brother; “B-Big Brother, damn, that Jade Emperor is the most handsome, even more handsome than you, okay? Let’s not fight anymore?”
Oh my god? I originally pulled him over to comfort him and help him recover from his injuries, and then explain why I changed the subject.
I didn’t expect this brat to have such a loose tongue, daring to boast and say others are more handsome than me? It’s one thing for me to say it myself, but does his saying it count?
“Oh my fucking god!”
Hearing this, I kicked him; “Your damn old ass! Say that again?”
Xue Pan was stunned by the sudden kick and asked me in disbelief; “B-Big Brother, *sob*… you, you said you wouldn’t hit me?”
Hearing this, I gave him another whip kick; “Damn it, did I hit you? I used my legs! Your damn ass, you can praise the Jade Emperor, but dare to say I’m not as handsome as him?”
” *Sob sob sob*, Big Brother, Big Brother, didn’t you say it yourself?”
“See, I can say it, because I know in my heart that I’m the most handsome. Does your saying it count? Damn it, watch my legs!”
“Clang! Oily root~!”
“Old dog, bring me some dog feces~!”
……
After another half hour of heart-to-heart, sincere conversation, this brat Xue Pan became much smarter.
Of course, the roughhousing between us brothers wasn’t serious; we didn’t use any true qi at all. It looked fierce and brutal, but it was no different from a fight between mortals. Besides, I, a good person, wouldn’t easily feed my brothers dog feces, unless I couldn’t help myself…
After tidying up Xue Pan’s “feng shui” with words, I, Big Brother, used my true qi to heal his internal and external injuries. This is also a form of cultivation; to forge an iron body, one must inevitably endure countless trials.
Xue Pan was accustomed to being beaten and didn’t take it to heart at all. As a result, among the four of us brothers, only Fourth Brother Xue Pan’s golden body became immensely powerful, especially his already somewhat flirtatious and handsome face, which became strong enough to withstand the Heavenly Dao’s wrath~!
Of course, that’s a story for another time.
Back to the main topic, because we brothers bought so much incense, it burned for over half a month. The Jade Emperor was so praised that he even sent Taibai Jinxing down to give us brothers an extra meal.
There was all sorts of fine wine and jade nectar, immortal peaches, and fruits, as well as roasted dragon legs, they sent a whole pile.
Fortunately, the incense ran out later. Otherwise, with just this skill, I, Big Brother, could have eaten my fill. I was just about to trick Laozi into sending me some immortal elixirs~! Hahahaha.
As for Gouzi, he was miserable. His parents thought he was lost and searched all over the granary, almost calling the police. Fortunately, this guy remembered and called home in time. Otherwise, with this feasting and drinking, his family would have been worried for nothing.
As we parted ways, I gave Old Dog a large portion of the gifts from Taibai Jinxing, telling him to take them back to show filial piety to his parents.
Then, with Jin Buque and Xue Pan, I returned to the Underworld.
“We common people, I’m so happy today, hehe.”
I, Big Brother, sat on the backwards-pedaling donkey cart cannon, leisurely humming a song.
After it was all done, Empress Houtu summoned me again, saying I was affecting the order of the Underworld. I freely shuttled between the Yin and Yang realms, and before, I showed off in the Underworld, causing a group of old men and women to complain.
“Brat, didn’t I teach you a lesson last time? Huh? You dare to show off again?”
Empress Houtu looked at me with a sly smile, and the strength in her hands was not small at all~!
“Sister, Sister, Sister, I was wrong, damn it, please be gentle, my face, my face is going to be unrecognizable…”
“Now you know to be gentle? Huh? You brat, you tricked the Jade Emperor. I heard he even sent you a lot of delicious food through Taibai Jinxing? Is that true?”
“Yes, yes, yes, yes, Sister, Sister, Sister, let go, I brought it for you, *sob*… I was thinking of you, *sob sob sob*.”
While crying, I, Big Brother, pulled a big peach out of my pocket. This was the best among all the delicious foods. According to Taibai Jinxing, this peach takes three thousand years to blossom, three thousand years to bear fruit, and another three thousand years to ripen, taking nine thousand years to produce just one.
I originally intended to save it for when I needed to save my life, but seeing the situation, I decided to save my face first, damn it~!
Upon seeing the tender, dew-kissed peach emitting an enticing aroma, Empress Houtu’s face bloomed with a smile as brilliant as spring flowers.
She extended her jade-like hand and gently patted my face, which had been squeezed and deformed into a swollen pumpkin-like shape. A soft, warm radiance flowed from her palm, and wherever it touched, the redness and swelling on my face visibly receded, quickly restoring my original charmingly handsome face.
“Hehe, this is what a good younger brother should be. Seeing your filial piety, it’s not in vain that I dote on you.”
Hearing this, I felt speechless; this was truly doting…
But fortunately, cultivators also have their own codes of honor. After handing over the peach, I, Big Brother, could walk sideways in the Underworld, hmph~! To put it crudely, I’m not bragging when I say that even my Godfather is a bit confused when he sees me now, and even calls me son in a very low-key manner, not for any other reason than Empress Houtu is my Big Sister.
This is just in the Earth Realm. In the Heavenly Realm, if I, Big Brother, wanted to, I could find a bunch of people to burn incense for the Old Lord Jade Emperor, hehehe, and then acknowledge a Big Brother. Within the Three Realms, I’d like to see who would dare to touch me? Hahahaha.
But it’s just a thought. After all, whether one is a mortal or a deity, one cannot be half-hearted. Here I acknowledge Empress Houtu as my Big Sister, and over there I become buddies with the Jade Emperor. They are not from the same faction, so if they ever get into a fight, wouldn’t I, Big Brother, be in an awkward position?
If I’m caught in the middle, who would I help? If I help neither, it’s not good. If I help, both sides are my allies.
This is like a mortal acknowledging two immortal masters in the world. One tells you to do this, the other tells you to do that? Who do you listen to?
Whether you listen or not, you get stuck. You want to listen to both, but in the end, you listen to neither, and you become confused.
You cultivate a bit of this, and a bit of that. You haven’t even mastered this before you want to learn that. In the end, you achieve nothing, learning none of the truly important things, only a lot of theoretical knowledge and minor techniques. Before leaving, you still don’t understand how to achieve ascension.
So, for now, my heart, Big Brother, leans towards maintaining a good relationship with Empress Houtu. That way, my Godfather will be stable and secure in the Underworld in the future. With a godson like me, who would dare to touch my Godfather?
If you want to touch him, you’ll have to ask my Big Sister, Empress Houtu, if she agrees. Even if you don’t consider the monk, you have to consider the Buddha. If you don’t understand this basic rule of the martial world, then you don’t need to be part of it.
And also, I, Big Brother, received gifts from the Old Lord Jade Emperor. From now on, we should go to the Heavenly Realm less often to cause trouble. At the very least, when we go again, we must bring gifts and be polite, not as reckless and impolite as last time.
It is impolite not to reciprocate. After Empress Houtu received my big peach, she also gave me a giant banana that had grown in the Earth Realm for nine thousand years. This banana was enormous; carrying it, I, Big Brother, was like a tiny ant carrying a giant object.
In the blink of an eye, I had Xue Pan deliver it to the Jade Emperor. Although, hehehe, before sending it, I, Big Brother, secretly took two bites. Damn~! I mean, with such a huge banana, it wouldn’t be noticeable if I, Big Brother, took a couple of bites, hahahaha.
