Chapter 253: Wild Bull
After raising the Tai Chi beast and having it re-evolve my world.
I transformed into a handsome appearance and started to wander to other worlds. Each world had its own different rules and its own names. Like the God Realm, the Buddha Realm, the Elf Realm, the Demon Realm, the Dwarf Realm, the Giant Realm, and even a realm called the Alien Realm, Hahahaha, in short, it was quite fun.
I stayed in various worlds for a period of time.
Finally, I settled down in a small world very similar to the one I had evolved before.
This world is also called the Milky Way Galaxy by the locals. What’s interesting is that this small world is actually composed of three small worlds connected to each other, overlapping. They are respectively called: the Heavenly Realm, the Earth Realm, and the Human Realm.
The Heavenly Realm has abundant spiritual energy and is inhabited by some arrogant idiots. They call spiritual energy “Innate Primordial Qi”. The spiritual energy in the Earth Realm is not called spiritual energy, but “Netherworld Qi”.
The Human Realm is between these two realms and possesses both energies intertwined. Humans in the Human Realm call them Yang Energy and Yin Energy. In modern times, they are also called Positive Energy and Negative Energy.
These two energies are very similar to the aura carried by my mount. However, the power of my Tai Chi Beast is purer than theirs, after all, my mount was naturally conceived and born in the void, so it’s reasonable for it to be a bit more powerful.
I opened a tavern in the Human Realm. Besides the wine which I brewed myself, the peanuts I sold were given to me by an old man I tricked in the Heavenly Realm. This old man roasted peanuts all day with a large stove and even had two children fanning the fire for him.
Originally, this old man didn’t intend to give them to me, because I was hungry and saw a big stupid cow “mooing” aimlessly. I wanted to eat it.
Just then, the old man saw me and shouted from a distance: “Fellow Daoist, Fellow Daoist, please show mercy, this cow is mine.”
When he got closer, I looked at him, then at the cow, and asked him reasonably: “This cow isn’t even on a leash, why is it yours? Even a dog off its leash is considered illegal, why isn’t your cow leashed? If it’s not leashed, it means it’s not yours. This is absolutely a wild cow, I must eat it.”
The old man clearly became a bit anxious when he heard me say that and continued:
“Fellow Daoist, Fellow Daoist, we must be reasonable. This is indeed my cow. Could you give me some face and find something else to eat?”
Hearing this, I frowned: “Give you face? Who are you that I should give you face? I finally found a wild cow, why should I give it to you? Are you trying to deceive me about my cow?”
“This is really my cow. If you don’t believe me, let’s ask someone?”
“Ask someone? I’m new here, unfamiliar with the place. What if you all gang up to trick me?”
“This? Then how can I prove it to you?”
“What is there to prove? If it’s not on a leash, it’s a wild cow, isn’t that obvious? Why do I need you to prove anything? The cow I found is mine. Go wherever it’s cool, don’t be jealous and angry just because someone else found a cow and try to claim it. I’m telling you, this kind of trick won’t work with me!”
Hearing my words, the old man’s expression changed drastically. He carefully sized me up, probably feeling that he was completely in the wrong and couldn’t argue with me.
So, with his beard bristling and eyes glaring, he intended to rob me. This guy took out a small iron ring, the kind a child plays with, from his embrace and raised it, intending to hit me.
How could I indulge him? I’m tricking him about my wild cow, and he still wants to snatch it?
Oh, damn it! How many years has it been since I’ve robbed anyone, and he wants to rob me?
Thinking of this, I chuckled: “Hahahaha, sir, please calm your anger. I was just teasing you. I can see this is your cow, please don’t get agitated.”
Seeing me back down, smiling at him, and apologizing, the old man saw that I had no intention of fighting. He retracted the ring.
However, this guy was quite obnoxious. Seeing me show weakness, he put on a show, crossed his arms, and said to me with a pretentious smile: “Since you know you’re wrong, I won’t make things difficult for you. Let’s go. You help me lead the cow home, and this matter will be settled.”
Oh my God, I’m so fed up with indulging him! I chuckled, went up, and kicked him. “Clang!” I even kicked his iron ring off.
My hands were fast. Before he could even react, I picked up the iron ring from the ground and hit him on the head.
The old bastard cried out in pain, “Ouch!” and clutched his head, rolling on the ground.
I directly unleashed a torrent of abuse: “Damn your father! I didn’t say anything when you tried to steal my cow, and you still want me to take it home for you? You damn disrespectful old man, are you pushing it too far? Am I your father that I’d indulge you? Damn it!”
The old man recovered after a while and still wanted to fight me. He took out a few small flags from his embrace, but I snatched them away as soon as he took them out. He then took out a token and raised it, but before he could speak, I snatched it again.
He took one out, I snatched it; he took one out, I snatched it. I have to say, he was quite impressive. His embrace was like a treasure chest, containing all sorts of things: jade bottles, purple-gold gourds, and even moving ropes. I spent half an hour snatching until I got everything.
If I took these to the Human Realm, I could set up a small stall.
Finally, the old man couldn’t produce anything else. I even stripped him of his clothes. The old man squatted on the ground, looked at me, then at the cow, and took out all his anger on the cow, scolding it fiercely: “You son of a bitch, I told you to stay put at home, but you didn’t listen. Now you’ve implicated me! Just you wait, I’ll throw you into the furnace and roast you! Damn it!”
Hearing the old man say that, I became interested. How many years has it been since I’ve eaten roasted beef?
I grabbed the old man and chuckled sinisterly: “Look, sir, I was just playing with you. We’ve become acquainted through this fight. I see you have an immortal demeanor and remarkable bone structure, clearly a professional roasted beef chef. Uh, no, I mean, you’re definitely a very capable elder. Let’s go, let’s go to your place and sit for a while. I have some wine here, let’s have a drink, hahaha. Oh, right, do you put cumin and chili powder when you roast beef? Put a lot, I love that!”
The old man was completely bewildered by what I said. He was half-pushed, half-coerced by me to his home.
But this guy was very stingy. We had agreed on the way that we’d have roasted beef at his place, but when we got home, he changed his mind. He just gave me a pile of peanuts to drink with and bragged to me, calling the peanuts “Nine Revolutions Soul Returning Pills,” “Tai Yi Elixir,” “Seven Returns Fire Pill,” and a bunch of other names.
He was so stingy, only giving me one plate, which wasn’t even enough for me to eat. And he was bragging! Angered, I grabbed the cow and wanted to throw it into his furnace.
This guy definitely had compassion. Seeing that the cow was a life, he couldn’t bear to let me roast it.
Fortunately, he also had a lot of peanuts, filling entire rooms. He let me eat as much as I wanted, as long as I didn’t kill the cow.
How could I be polite? I ate heartily. Before leaving, I also asked him for a very large sack, and packed up all the peanuts from his storerooms. I still felt like I was at a disadvantage. After all, no matter how many peanuts there were, could they be as delicious as beef? Damn!
However, the gourds he used to store the peanuts were good stuff; each gourd could pour out countless peanuts. I took them all, including the gourds.
This made the old man heartbroken. His face twitched like Zhao Si’s father. Seeing his pained expression, I even felt sympathetic. Before leaving, I told him that he could find me to help him with three things in the future, and only then did his ashen face regain its color.
